The Way Of The Spiritual Leader - 026 Chapter 1. The Way Of Being A Minister Section 1. Those Who Were Called In The Dispensation 8. Peter - 3
Although Peter denied his teacher three times at the difficult situation, Jesus truly looked at Peter turning his body toward him. Therefore, when Peter looked at Jesus who had forgotten about his own difficulty, his own sorrow, his own situation and was looking at him, a great transformation occurred in Peter's mind.
Peter's emotion exploded when he saw Jesus, forgetting about his own sorrow he truly loved him, and was concerned with his future. Moreover, at that moment Peter realized his identity, as he rekindled the old relationships he had with Jesus when he felt joy, anger, love, and everything together with his Lord.
Peter saw Jesus Christ striving to pioneer the way of human salvation. As he saw that he felt his shortcomings. In other words, when he thought that he stood in the position of a disciple who should have dedicate his whole hearted loyalty to Jesus alone, Peter realized how great a gulf existed between the faith of Jesus toward God and his faith toward Jesus.
When he realized that he believed Jesus as his Lord but did so centering on himself, he was intolerably ashamed in front of Jesus' glance toward him. In other words, he lamented over his unfaithful self.
Peter's mind was suddenly transformed and a stirring desire to live for his Lord emerged in his heart. From the moment when Peter realized his unfaithful self, he felt ever more poignantly his shortcomings, as he compared the life course of himself with Jesus.
The three disciples deeply felt how their lives were so self-centered, as they observed carefully Jesus, who offered everything of himself as a sacrifice to God for God's Will and for all people of this earth, without ever seeking his personal happiness, and who never became resentful of complaining as he was dragged on with the burden of the cross.
Therefore, the disciples repented in front of Jesus Christ, who was not self-centered, and were able to determine and pledge to inherit and practice the will which Jesus always cherished.
Then, what did Peter feel? He felt the disbelief of those around him as he felt his own disbelief. Peter was able to look through the sorrowful and lonely heart of persecuted Jesus in Jesus' gaze, as he saw the evil people around him as they bound the innocent Jesus Christ and felt pleasure in lashing him.
Peter felt the insolence of that environment in front of the burning gaze of Jesus. There, Peter, the disciple of Jesus, determined righteously to fight against such insolent powers around him, until the Lord would come again to destroy the evil people. (2-28) |