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Scrutinize the verbs

1) One form of to be per one 100 words

(E.g. is, am, are will be were, was, to be) eliminate them, drop these weak-kneed forms or try hard to.

2) Is the verb accurate?

Never rest in the pursuit of the right verbs. To find the right one, we need experience, intelligent speculation, or research.

…Gunfire shattering the valley.  Heavy gunfire would rather rumble than shatter.

3) Is the verb active?

If it’s passive, look askance at it. Can it possibly be made active without ruining your intent?

Be active. It’s not the verb but the subject that’s active or passive.

-ion, -tion, -ment, -sance, -ancy, -ization—the worst culprits in the vicinity of passivity.

Too many passives or abstractions bog down our minds.

Be a man of careful diction and a believer in the power of simple words used in active voice. Choose your words carefully!

1) Choose a verb that really fits in the context.

The young freshman does not seem to notice. He’s watching (gazing) the new faces entering the room. He’s hoping someone will sit down with him.

A right verb is needed, which is central to what’s going on. For example, he’s studying closely, or He’s searching each face entreatingly.

2) Is it the right one for the reader’s senses?

I have always liked the Café Brancusi. I liked the hum of vitality that always surrounded (filled) it.

‘Fill’ would not surround the café as much as ‘hum’. It’s also a question of hearing a hum from outside the café or inside.

3) Use a verb that spurts a feeling

From its position at the top of a slope, anyone sitting in its privacy commanded a clear view of the traffic that passed up and down this crowded section of Rome.

‘Crawling’ would be better for relative velocity.

4) A gerund (-ing) has an upper hand

To create a successful new venture requires qualities that few individuals possess---imagination, drive, and faith in oneself.

5) Avoid anything that sounds too leisurely and get a cut effect by an incomplete sentence.

Original

 My gaze swung to the right and there was another. I looked to the left and there was a man in an overcoat. There was something familiar about him, so I turned for a second glance.

Revised

Another off to the right. To the left stood a familiar figure in a trench coat.

6) Create a devised and active metaphor stemmed from a cliché

7) Add a bit of poetry to your prose

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