My grievous life goes on today. Now I am facing surgical operation. The night mare came back in twenty two years and I have to give up the rest of my stomach. A little fear and concern have overwhelmed my consciousness for twenty five days, but I am less anxious than before. Probably time might dull my senses. I must accept my today’s misfortune. It’s my fault. Alas! If I had been more careful, I would have avoided this miserable circumstance. Why does regret come late?
A life without the stomach! I have to give up happiness of eating, too. But how is it possible?
I need another miracle. After the operation, Chemotherapy depends on what stage I will be in. If I go through it again, it will be too severe. According to a lot of medical information on Internet, I must be in stage one, because when I got a check up two years ago, there was nothing to speak of. And the doctor said I am completely free from cancer. Though new cancer came, the passage of time is one and a half year.
Nevertheless, I am scared enough to feel lonely. My mom is 91 years old. She will not keep her life without me. My wife and siblings will get over grief and sorrow soon as they did long ago. However, one thing I need most now is courage, not self-pity. God, give me some luck. Then I will make it.
When a lion go on a long journey, he will go alone. I have to.
Last, I am greatful to my stomach for having done its duty well despite my being foolish.