Noel Mackey 신부님의 ＜딸랑＞ 번역 ㅣ 조영자, 박미나

[영웅]

Thank you Lord, thank you for everything

Cho Young-ja Agnes

She is 76 years old and attends Munjeong-dong church in the Archdiocese of Seoul.

I entrust everything to the Lord.

I entrust everything to the almighty, merciful, holy God the Father, who created and governs everything in the universe, and asks Him to lead me

On January first I was born as the sixth daughter in number 161 Shinseol-dong, Dongdaemun-ku. Even though I had two younger brothers that died when they were young my father pampered me very much. My older sisters were afraid of my father and could not look him straight in the eye but I when peeing used to completely show my bottom and place the commode in front of him, when I had a stomachache he always carried me on his back. While the others ate barley rice I ate white rice when they ate pork I ate beef, while the others ate saury I ate everything that was good such as bream and codfish and lived so well that the others were envious of me.

In 1965 when I was an elementary school teacher I met my future husband and got married. As my parents wanted my groom to be a doctor, a pilot or a high school teacher they were adamantly opposed to the man I was determined to marry. But I had eyes only for my future husband. Having passionately loved each other our relationship was such that we divided the cost of our wedding feast. My mother’s anger cried to the heavens when the daughter she loved and treasured unexpectedly deviated from her will. She was wild with rage and declared that even if she were to die she would not give us her permission to marry. I was eventually kicked out of the house and we had to lodge in a house near the school before we married. [In fact it was better that way]

A few months later my sisters persuaded my parents that if a rumor that an outsider man was coming and going to our house that the family would be ruined so she unwillingly gave permission for us to marry. In February of the following year during the school vacation we had the wedding and as my father was suffering from paralysis we held a traditional Korean wedding on the floor of the hall of our house. I wore a Korean bridal crown and the groom was dressed in Korea’s traditional clothes of the Joseon dynasty and we had the wedding officiator’s congratulatory message and a nuptial song so we had a mixture of Traditional Korean and western customs wedding. I rode the

palanquin and later changed to ride the automobile we had rented.

In the house I married into lived a sister-in-law who was ten years younger than my husband and mother-in-law. My father-in-law, who was a ship owner, took refuge during the Korean War with his friends and Japanese partner and my husband. When they saw an airplane in Pungdo near Seosan, they waved they waved the Korean flag, the Taegeuki, but the plane turned around and fired machine guns killing them all. My husband was the only one that survived as he was lying under a dead person’s body. That seemed to be Heaven’s decree.

The man I married was the sixth generation only son and as I gave birth to three sons, my mother-in-law did not treat me like a daughter-in-law but rather took great care of me and treated me like a princess. While I was giving birth to and rearing three sons I never once washed a diaper and never once cooked warm rice for my mother-in-law. Of course we had a baby sitter and a kitchen maid. At that time it was difficult to live due to the after effects of the Korean War. I was the sixth daughter of a noble person so I went to my husband’s house with my lady’s maid.

So, while I was living with my mother-in-law and receiving her devoted love in the winter of 1973 I moved to Mia-dong in Seoul and in September of 1984 I received an appointment to Seoul leaving Uijeongbu in the province of Gyeonggi. We were a teaching couple and it was possible for us to have a house in Seoul.

In 1984 our whole family was baptized in Mia-3dong church. My husband was Joseph, I Agnes, our second son Matthias and our third son Matthew. The following year all four of us were confirmed. The following year my mother-in-law was baptized Mary and two years later she went to meet her maker.

We sold our house in 1988 and decided to build two three storied buildings that had a total floor space of 128 pyong [423.14 m2] I took care of everything instead of my timid and shy husband. However as I met the wrong builder who swindled me I had to move to the outskirts for two years with a debt of hundreds of millions of won while the building was being constructed. At that time if only I had entrusted everything to God and prayed earnestly I might not have received such temptations from the terrifying Satan and I don’t know how much I regret that.

My husband had been a school commissioner in Gyeonggi province volunteered to be the principal of an elementary school. After moving I was mentally ill and unable to commute and so in 1991 without saying a word to my husband I left my job. I had so much debt and later when my husband became aware of it he

did not say a word. But I can only wonder how greatly he must have hated me! My husband never uttered a nasty word but rather accepted me with all my faults. When now I think about what happened I feel so sorry and grateful to him. I love you, my dear Mr. Yongtaek!

Afterwards this is how we lived. My husband only allowed me to only turn on one light in the house, to watch only the nine o’ clock news on the TV and to just use a small amount of tap water when washing the dishes and when I needed tofu he bought it himself directly. I was frustrated and angry at first but then I came to accept this arrangement. My husband took care of cleaning the living room and once in a while he gave me a small amount of pocket money. In order to try and pay back the debt to earn some money, I did not spare my body, but did whatever I could, such as teaching periodically, taking care of patients, being a house tutor looking after children etc. In an attempt to settle the debt my husband retired without his retirement pension. I am really sorry now too.

In March of 1988 my eldest son got married and they lived with me for ten years. After that they lived on their own and had a son and a daughter that was born late. At the beginning of January of 2009 my daughter-in-law suddenly had to have an operation for a brain tumor. For the first time in my life I recited the rosary for six hours a day. That was the first time in my life that I prayed so fervently. Unfortunately, eighteen months after her surgery, my daughter-in-law at the age of forty four died and went to God, leaving her twenty one year old son and six year old daughter. How could this happen to my good daughter-in-law Chekyung who for over twenty years never even had a cold! Because of that my son became a credit defaulter and became bankrupt. Fortunately the Lord left the rest of his family one room to live in.

My second son Matthias was married in 1995 and went to Germany to study architectural engineering and three months before graduating with a master’s degree he joined Samsung’s best plan. I was very glad and happy. However my daughter –in-law became depressed and homesick when she had a miscarriage in 2000 and her body weakened as she had three more miscarriages. She has had several bowel operations and has been diagnosed with Behcet’s disease.

“Mother, from October my insurance will cover my prescriptions. I do not know if it will be a good result but I heard there were instances where similar diseases have improved so I am hopeful. Mother, relax and take good care during the change of seasons. I will visit you when my husband returns from his business trip”.

“Yes, thank you Hyejin! I hope you get good treatment and take good care of

your health. You are the noble daughter-in-law of the Kim family. I love you Hyejin and take care”.

“Yes, mother I got my fortnightly shot today. It is difficult to adjust but it will gradually get better. Mother, are you doing volunteer service today. Be careful going home”.

Every Wednesday I have been doing voluntary work at the Chongro senior citizens shelter with my daughter-in-law encouraging me. These are the kind of messages we send each other.

In October of 1996 my third son Matthew got married he and his son and daughter lived well. My daughter-in-law who was an only daughter was a good cook prepared the food for the family ritual and also took charge of the kimchi making. She lived with her parents so my son is living with his mother-in-law. However at the end of December last year my daughter- in-law suddenly said your son “Chi-hyeun” suggested that we divorce. As our daughter “So-hye” is in third grade of high school he suggested we wait until next year before filing for a divorce. Really what is happening here? Jesus what other good thing are you planning to give me.

The day before Chuseok, our youngest son said “mom, come down from your apartment along with your husband and the children. And so we all went out for a meal during which my son said he was in the distribution business and that his elder brother and wife had caused him to lose a lot of money. As long as he lives in your house I do not intend to visit you mom.”

While it was a pitiful affair I could not say a word about the situation. I don’t know what to do God. Lord, let it be done according to your will.

Shortly beforehand as we were wondering about the situation my husband and I went to meet our youngest son. My daughter-in-law was living with the children and my son was living alone. Being sensitive to the situation I asked what was happening and he said “he had completed the divorce papers and so now we are people unrelated to each other”. I was lost for words. We could not say anything except “yeah, live well” and we returned home.

This happened in March of 2014. My youngest daughter-in-law marvelously called me and said “mother I have booked health checks for you mom and papa please go and get the health checks. They are extremely expensive. I will go and pick you both up. As a result of the physical examination I discovered that I had a lump on my thyroid and decided to have a biopsy done.

“Holy Father God, you are almighty, powerful and merciful before I had sung

the ejaculatory prayer I said “thanks for all your effort! Everything has ended well! And I uttered a prayer of thanksgiving to the Lord. Perhaps it was because it was a selective operation it cost 480,000 won and the ultrasonography I had after six months cost 220,000 won. “Gosh, why was the procedure so expensive and what will I do I cried out”. But my sweet daughter-in-law merely said “Mother, don’t worry, how wonderful it is that you do not have cancer”.

On my way home I sang the song of ejaculatory prayer as I entrusted everything to God and I experienced peace of mind. God what should I do in these circumstances, Lord lead me in everything.

I had three sons I reared and had all three married off so I quit being their caregiver and tutor and returned to the church and became the area leader a member of Our Lady’s group, a choir member, chair of the senior citizens association and Emmaus group, leader of the love lunches, secretary of the Anna group etc. I worked with a happy heart so I was not an embarrassment to God. It was the Lord that through his grace had guided this unworthy soul. I had one unforgettable benefactor that led me to gratefully accept life’s shockwaves as God’s will and gladly accept his will to the point of entrusting everything to Him.

That person was no other than Fr. Lee Haewook, Francisco.

In February of 2011 when I was the chairperson of the Emmaus association he became our parish priest. Fr. Loved this unworthy person dearly and even gave me the nickname of “king elder sister”. I really like Fr’s spirituality of holy abandonment and felt attracted to the ejaculatory prayer of entrustment.

To know exactly what is God’s will is vitally important and the most excellent way of living according to His will is to entrust oneself completely to God. Living a holy life like God does is what God desires of us humans, which means living according to God’s will. [See Fr. Lee’s “spirituality of holy abandonment”. Living only according to the will of God number 3

Offering the ejaculatory prayer with the intention of entrusting everything to the Lord has been a great grace giving me the hope of living holy according to God’s will. I abandoned my own will and entrusted everything to the Lord as instructed by Fr. Lee continually reciting the ejaculatory prayer and on the 29th of August in 2011 with a trembling heart I consecrated myself to God. Had I not entrusted myself to God I would not be able to live happily day by day. I thank the Lord.

Father God, please forgive me.

By the sweet name of you Jesus!

By the entrustment of your mother Mary!

Please forgive me of all my faults by your holy name.

Having dedicated my soul I accept everything according to your holy will. Sadness, loneliness, bitterness, shame, disunity, hatred, resentment and a trembling heart have all disappeared. All I have is peace of mind and a grateful heart. As time goes by my aging husband who from time to time hated me and was angry with me for all my faults but now as he has not abandoned me who was full of wretchedness but continues to live with me I am grateful and I admire him.

“As a hen gathers her young under her wings”.[Matthew 23,37] I want to wrap my sons sick wounds with the ejaculatory prayers of holy abandonment. While my sons are unaware of it all of these difficulties are clearly God’s will and they will get to believe that our loving God will turn all of them to good. Even though I have an unlimited amount of deficiencies I am extra happy that I have become a faithful believer. At the ripe old age of seventy six the Lord has directly helped me write these words even though I was reluctant to do so. Thank you Lord. I love you Lord. I sing your praises Lord. Let me passionately love you and you alone. Let me thank you and pray for the graces you continue to bestow on me and as I now live the heavenly life let me convey the Lord’s love to my neighbors. I believe that someday in the future you will call me to heaven. I will live with more love. Thank you. Amen.

The soul that is entrusted to God desires nothing, does not ask for anything and refuses nothing. [Saint Francis de Sales]

============================

Thank you Lord

Park Mina, Mary

She is 58 years old from Munjeong-dong Parish Seoul Archdiocese

I thank you Lord for leading me to write these words and I offer these words to the Lord.

I was baptized and became a Catholic after I got married. I wanted to be a Protestant but as my husband objected I became a child of God taking the name of Mary. However I was the only one of my new family that believed in God and so there was no one to teach me about Catholicism and no one to guide me.

The only things I knew I had learned at the Protestant High School. So my level of doctrine was less than that of a kindergarten student merely believing that there existed a God who had created the world. In fact each week we had bible study at the Protestant school and once in a while a revival meeting. But I had no interest in them and it was similar to someone looking on a fire that was across the river. At the church when I was preparing for baptism I used to take my three year old child with me and was busy looking after him and so could not listen very well to the class but merely attended the class and received baptism.

During my adolescent years as well as high school and university time I always had these questions. “Why were humans born and where were they going”? “How can one live well”? “What is the purpose of life”? I spent many days in depression as I tried to find answers to these questions. After I married I thought that I could only find answers to these questions through religion and so I sought God. Having been baptized I concentrated my thoughts on saving my soul and I had a real desire to be saved. Pretending to be a fervent believer I tried lots of things including paying the church fees, annual confession, attending Sunday mass faithfully, joining the Legion of Mary, doing bible study and the Holy Spirit seminar.

However my faith life did not change very much. While I enjoyed peace of mind I was not happy, I did not have any complaints but I did not feel grateful and while I faithfully recited the rosary I could not meet the Lord and had no conviction or joy about salvation.

Meanwhile from the age of five my son began to be sick with asthma. For ten years my son suffered from asthma, irritable bowel syndrome and convulsions etc. So my rosary intention was always “Our Lady, please cure my son” and later “please help me sell this house”. As my situation is deteriorating please do something to help me” etc. etc. I was looking here and there for some magic.

If the child is sick “I must say the rosary”, if something bad happens in the house “I must say the rosary” I kept pestering Our Lady and Jesus. “Please give me this give me that”. Day in, day out, I made many pleading prayers. But Jesus and Our Lady are not creditors.

When I did not say the rosary I felt uneasy, however I only said it out of a sense of duty not gratefully or giving praise to God. Gradually I did not feel like praying but only did it because I had to and my suffocating faith life continued. When I think about how my faith life was back then I must have appeared pathetic and pitiful.

At that time while I did not know what was wrong with my faith I only had a deep desire to save my soul. While I thought that we only live a short time on earth my desire for eternal life did not ever disappear. Finding the truth was always my homework.

Meanwhile Fr. Lee Haewook one day became the parish priest of Munjeong-dong church. It appeared that he came for me. There was no other savior. Fr. Lee’s sermon sounded right to my brain and pierced my heart. “Yes, that’s right, I must entrust everything to God”! I have gained nothing by living according to my own will. I abruptly realized that this was how I appeared back then. I started to concentrate on the ejaculatory prayer of holy abandonment and for three months I said that prayer as Fr. Lee had instructed.

Strangely enough, the words of the prayer “I entrust everything to God” put my mind at ease. It was joy more than mere peace, the joy of meeting the Lord was a happiness that cannot be expressed in words. I felt that I now possessed the whole world. I thought that this might be how those that do contemplative prayer feel. I did not feel envious of anyone in the world.

That was how I experienced joy and happiness. Every day I felt joyful and happy and had no worries about worldly matters. The Lord, in His own way gave me the things that were necessary for living, the worldly things he provided according to his will. He gave me everything in abundance.

Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness.

And all these things will be added unto you. [Matthew 6, 33-34]

Through personal experience I got to know the truth of these words. In the morning when I open my eyes I say thanks for my eyes opening, for being able to breathe, for being able to walk for being able to move my fingers, for my husband, for my husband living with me for over twenty years even though we have nothing to show for it. I am grateful for my children, and for the fact that I have a daughter I am especially grateful. I give thanks for everything.

I am truly happy and joyful. I thank the Lord for sending us Fr. Lee for opening my ears so that I could understand his words for calling me to the Catholic Church and for letting me know the spirituality of holy abandonment. I thank God for having created us out of love and for sending us the savior Jesus Christ.

My former prayers of petition seeking this and that have been transformed into prayers of thanks and praise. Having entrusted everything to the Lord he has replaced everything to its original place. Thank you Lord. Thank you Lord. Lord, I praise you.

Lord let my mouth give you unceasing prayers of thanks and praise.

Beloved Lord, let me your unworthy servant thank, praise and give you the glory for ever and ever!!

[영웅]

아버지지, 참으로 감사합니다!

[영웅]

하느님아버지, 참으로 감사합니다!

사랑하는 신부님,

올려주신 동영상 잘 시청하였습니다.

저는 이 영상을 보면서 강사 신부님의
강의 중 쓰시는 말에서 마음에 불편함이 느껴졌습니다.

마치 예수님이 공생활때 예수님과 그 제자들을 비난하는
바리새파, 율법학자들의 시각이 연상이 되었습니다.

루이사의 추종자?
신성모독?
불안과 공포를 조장하는 마귀의 전략? 등등...

예수님의 제자들에게 추종자라 조롱하고
신성모독의 죄로 예수님을 십자가 죽음으로 몰고간
하느님 체험이 없던 그 자들처럼 느껴졌습니다.

아직도 유대인들이 예수님을 받아들이지 않는 것처럼
하느님 체험없는 머리에만 머무는 지식이 가져오는
마치 내가 알고 있는 하느님이 전부라고 여기는 교만도 느껴졌습니다.

[영웅]

하느님아버지, 참으로 감사합니다!

오늘도 아버지를 향한 마음을 주셔서 감사드립니다.
김동호 목사님의 기쁠 때도 아버지, 곤궁할 때도
아버지만을 사랑하겠나이다.

아버지의 완전한 사랑과 완전한 영광을 위하여!

[영웅]

하느님아버지, 참으로 감사합니다!
아버지, 사랑합니다.

[영웅]

하느님아버지, 참으로 감사합니다!

[영웅]

사랑하는 아버지, 참으로 감사합니다!

[영웅]

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