PART I // chapter 2-5

[모나리자]

4년 전에 그녀에게 지리와 세계사 과목을 가르치려고 노력했지만, 저는 그 과목에 대해 잘 알지 못했고 적절한 책도 없었으며, 어떤 책이 있었는지... 음, 어쨌든 지금은 그런 책도 없어서 모든 교육이 끝났습니다. 우리는 페르시아의 키루스에서 멈췄습니다. 그녀는 몇 년 동안 성숙했기 때문에 다른 낭만적인 경향의 책을 읽었고 최근에는 레베지아트니코프 씨를 통해 얻은 루이스의 생리학이라는 책을 매우 흥미롭게 읽었습니다. 아십니까? 심지어 그 책에서 발췌한 내용을 우리에게 들려주었습니다. 그것이 그녀가 받은 모든 교육입니다. 그리고 이제 존경하는 선생님께 개인적인 질문을 하나 드리겠습니다.

존경받는 가난한 소녀가 정직하게 일해서 많은 돈을 벌 수 있다고 생각하십니까? 존경받는 사람이고 특별한 재능이 없다면 하루에 15파딩도 벌 수 없습니다. 그것도 잠깐이라도 일을 쉬지 않고서 말입니다! 그리고 더군다나, 이반 이바니치 클롭스토크라는 시민 고문은—그 사람에 대해 들어보셨나요?—그녀가 그에게 만들어 준 리넨 셔츠 6장 값을 지금까지도 지불하지 않고, 셔츠 칼라가 패턴대로 만들어지지 않았고 비스듬히 놓여 있다는 구실로 그녀를 거칠게 쫓아내고, 밟고, 욕설을 퍼부었습니다. 그리고 배고픈 어린아이들이 있습니다... 그리고 카테리나 이바노브나는 위아래로 걷고 손을 비비며, 그녀의 뺨은 항상 그 병에 걸렸을 때처럼 빨갛게 상기되어 있었습니다. ‘여기서 당신은 우리와 함께 살고 있어요.’ 그녀가 말했습니다.

‘당신은 먹고 마시고 따뜻하게 지내고 아무것도 도와주지 않아요.’ 그리고 어린아이들이 3일 동안 빵을 먹을 수 없을 때 그녀는 먹고 마실 수 있는 것이 많았습니다! 그때 저는 누워 있었습니다... 글쎄요, 그게 뭐 중요하겠어요! 저는 취해서 누워 있었고, 제 소냐가 말하는 것을 들었습니다(그녀는 부드러운 목소리를 가진 상냥한 사람입니다... 금발 머리와 창백하고 깡마른 작은 얼굴). 그녀는 말했다: ‘카테리나 이바노브나, 내가 정말 그런 짓을 해야 하나요?’ 그리고 사악한 성격의 여성이자 경찰에 잘 알려진 다리야 프란초브나는 집주인을 통해 두세 번 그녀에게 접근하려고 했다.

‘그리고 왜 안 되죠?’ 카테리나 이바노브나가 조롱조로 말했다, ‘당신은 그렇게 조심할 만큼 아주 소중한 존재예요!’ 하지만 그녀를 비난하지 마세요, 그녀를 비난하지 마세요, 존경하는 선생님, 그녀를 비난하지 마세요! 그녀는 말할 때 본래의 자신이 아니었고, 병과 배고픈 아이들의 울음소리에 정신이 나갔고, 다른 어떤 것보다 그녀를 다치게 하려고 그런 말을 했습니다.... 그게 카테리나 이바노브나의 성격이고, 아이들이 울면, 심지어 배고픔 때문에라도, 그녀는 즉시 그들을 때리기 시작합니다.

나는 여섯 시에 소냐가 일어나서, 머릿수건과 망토를 걸치고, 방에서 나갔다가 아홉 시쯤에 그녀가 돌아오는 것을 보았습니다. 그녀는 카테리나 이바노브나에게 곧장 걸어가서 그녀 앞 테이블에 30루블을 조용히 올려놓았습니다. 그녀는 아무 말도 하지 않았고, 그녀를 쳐다보지도 않았습니다. 그녀는 그저 우리의 큰 녹색 드랍 드 담 숄(우리는 드랍 드 담으로 만든 숄을 가지고 있습니다)을 집어서 그녀의 머리와 얼굴에 씌우고 얼굴을 벽으로 향하게 침대에 누웠습니다.

그녀의 작은 어깨와 몸만 계속 떨렸습니다.... 그리고 나는 전처럼 그대로 누워 있었습니다.... 그리고 나는 보았습니다, 젊은이여, 나는 카테리나 이바노브나가 같은 침묵 속에서 소니아의 작은 침대로 올라가는 것을 보았습니다. 그녀는 저녁 내내 무릎을 꿇고 소니아의 발에 키스했고 일어나지 않았습니다. 그리고 나서 그들은 서로의 팔에 안겨 잠이 들었습니다... 함께, 함께... 그렇습니다... 그리고 나는... 취해 있었습니다." 마르멜라도프는 마치 그의 목소리가 그를 속인 것처럼 갑자기 멈췄습니다. 그리고 그는 서둘러 잔을 채우고, 마시고, 목을 가다듬었습니다. “그 이후로, 선생님,” 그는 잠시 멈춘 후 계속해서 말했습니다. “그 이후로, 불행한 사건과 악의를 품은 사람들이 제공한 정보로 인해 Darya Frantsovna가 주도적인 역할을 맡았습니다.

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I did make an effort four years ago to give her a course of geography and universal history, but as I was not very well up in those subjects myself and we had no suitable books, and what books we had... hm, anyway we have not even those now, so all our instruction came to an end. We stopped at Cyrus of Persia. Since she has attained years of maturity, she has read other books of romantic tendency and of late she had read with great interest a book she got through Mr. Lebeziatnikov, Lewes’ Physiology—do you know it?—and even recounted extracts from it to us: and that’s the whole of her education. And now may I venture to address you, honoured sir, on my own account with a private question.

Do you suppose that a respectable poor girl can earn much by honest work? Not fifteen farthings a day can she earn, if she is respectable and has no special talent and that without putting her work down for an instant! And what’s more, Ivan Ivanitch Klopstock the civil counsellor—have you heard of him?—has not to this day paid her for the half-dozen linen shirts she made him and drove her roughly away, stamping and reviling her, on the pretext that the shirt collars were not made like the pattern and were put in askew. And there are the little ones hungry.... And Katerina Ivanovna walking up and down and wringing her hands, her cheeks flushed red, as they always are in that disease: ‘Here you live with us,’ says she,

‘you eat and drink and are kept warm and you do nothing to help.’ And much she gets to eat and drink when there is not a crust for the little ones for three days! I was lying at the time... well, what of it! I was lying drunk and I heard my Sonia speaking (she is a gentle creature with a soft little voice... fair hair and such a pale, thin little face). She said: ‘Katerina Ivanovna, am I really to do a thing like that?’ And Darya Frantsovna, a woman of evil character and very well known to the police, had two or three times tried to get at her through the landlady.

‘And why not?’ said Katerina Ivanovna with a jeer, ‘you are something mighty precious to be so careful of!’ But don’t blame her, don’t blame her, honoured sir, don’t blame her! She was not herself when she spoke, but driven to distraction by her illness and the crying of the hungry children; and it was said more to wound her than anything else.... For that’s Katerina Ivanovna’s character, and when children cry, even from hunger, she falls to beating them at once.

At six o’clock I saw Sonia get up, put on her kerchief and her cape, and go out of the room and about nine o’clock she came back. She walked straight up to Katerina Ivanovna and she laid thirty roubles on the table before her in silence. She did not utter a word, she did not even look at her, she simply picked up our big green drap de dames shawl (we have a shawl, made of drap de dames), put it over her head and face and lay down on the bed with her face to the wall;

only her little shoulders and her body kept shuddering.... And I went on lying there, just as before.... And then I saw, young man, I saw Katerina Ivanovna, in the same silence go up to Sonia’s little bed; she was on her knees all the evening kissing Sonia’s feet, and would not get up, and then they both fell asleep in each other’s arms... together, together... yes... and I... lay drunk.” Marmeladov stopped short, as though his voice had failed him. Then he hurriedly filled his glass, drank, and cleared his throat. “Since then, sir,” he went on after a brief pause—“Since then, owing to an unfortunate occurrence and through information given by evil-intentioned persons—in all which Darya Frantsovna took a leading part