Letters from Frances Longfellow //Nahant Monday 1851년 7월 28일

[모나리자]

나한트 먼데이

사랑하는 에멀린,
우리는 정말 얼마나 떨어져 있는지! 편지를 받기 전까지는 당신의 모든 근심에 대해 아무것도 몰랐어요. 케임브리지에서는 당신 소식을 거의 전혀 듣지 못했고, 해리엇이 떠난 뒤로는 아무것도 듣지 못했거든요. 저는 당신의 모든 고통을 깊이, 진심으로 공유합니다. 그렇게 오래 지속되고 새로워질 운명인 만큼, 세상의 어떤 동정심의 힘이라도 그것을 완화시켜 줄 수 있기를 간절히 바랍니다. 하지만 이런 것들은 제가 어떻게 말해야 할지 모르겠어요. 제가 당신과 함께라면 손의 압력이 제가 할 수 있는 전부일 거라고 두려워요. 그것이 이 거대한 슬픔에 대해 제가 명령할 수 있는 유일한 언어이기 때문입니다.

당신이 지금의 상태에서 이렇게 많은 간호를 해야 한다는 것이 매우 걱정스럽습니다[p. 2]. 그리고 당신이 그것을 과용하지 않으려고 노력하기를 바랍니다. 당신이 책임져야 할 다른 삶을 위해서가 아니라면 말입니다. 나는 그런 때에 불필요한 일이나 다른 사람도 할 수 있는 일을 하려는 큰 유혹이 있다는 것을 알고 있으며, 당신 앞에 그런 자극이 있는데도 당신은 당신의 힘을 너무 많이 써버릴까 두렵습니다.

하지만 당신의 신경에 가장 피할 수 없는 부담은 [삭제됨: 그의] 남편의 엎드린 상태, 그의 삶의 힘과 약속이 확증된 병자의 수동적 무력함에 모두 굴복한 것에 대한 끊임없는 생각이며, 그 생각을 견디려면 신의 가장 강력한 위로가 필요합니다. 그가 당신을 풍부하게 떠받쳐 주시고, 당신을 화해시켜 주시고, 만약 어떤 사람이 다른 사람의 짐을 덜어주는 데 바쳐진 모든 것을 화해시켜 달라고 한다면 말입니다.

어제 나는 마비로 인해 쓰러진 또 다른 강인한 사람에 대한 이야기를 들었습니다. 그는 브래틀버러의 [p. 3] 수의사인 베셀호프트 박사입니다. 그의 기억은 너무나 영향을 받아 "아버지"와 "어머니"라는 단어만 기억할 수 있고, 그에게 말하는 모든 것을 분명히 이해하지만 모든 것에 적용합니다.

내가 너무나 어리석은 실수를 한 해밀턴 부인은 미스 해밀턴이었던 슈일러 부인으로 밝혀졌고, 그녀의 어머니는 리 부인의 집 옆에 별장을 가지고 있으며, 눈 덮인 말이 달린 그녀의 마차는 여기 있는 어떤 마차 못지않게 눈길을 끌고 있습니다. 우리는 어느 날 밤 진흙과 오물을 헤치며 메리 파크먼의 집으로 가서 볼티모어의 티파니 부인과 차를 마셨는데, 티파니 부인은 그녀와 함께 밤을 보냈고, 그곳에서 에드먼드 드와이트가 최근에 돌아온 것을 발견했습니다. 엘렌 양은 평소처럼 똑똑하고 엄숙한 말을 했습니다. 주엣은 영국 소녀들이 보스턴 소녀들보다 훨씬 더 잘 자랐다고 말합니다. 덜 시큼하고 더 정중합니다.

그는 그들이 여러 마을을 돌아다니며 친절한 집에서 다른 집으로 가며 시골 생활을 한 것을 보고 기뻐했습니다. [4쪽] 애플턴의 추억을 찾아다니면서, 우리는 통혼을 통해 앤 볼렌과 연결되어 있는 것 같습니다! 이 매력적인 시골 생활은 런던 파티보다 아버지에게 훨씬 나았고, 그가 돌아오기를 바라지만, 7월 14일에 발표될 예정이었기 때문에 그 때문에 위대한 바빌론으로 돌아가야 했습니다.

피바디 행사는 Jewett만 참석했습니다. 그는 그 사람들이 다소 음란했다고 말했지만, 그것은 매우 훌륭한 [삭제됨: 행사] 무도회였습니다. Iron Duke를 응원하는 것을 생각해보세요. 아마도 야만적인 열광으로 여겨질 것입니다! Hatty의 편지는 매우 영리합니다. Mary Parkman은 Wordsworth의 삶의 첫 번째 권을 빌려주었는데, 물론 흥미롭습니다. Sumner가 Storys에 와서 가끔 들여다봅니다.

그녀가 가을에 유럽으로 돌아가는 것이 유감입니다(그녀의 남편은 그가 집으로 돌아와서 지금 하고 있는 삶을 마친 후 아버지의 동상을 만들어야 합니다). 나는 그녀의 허세가 아니라 현명하고 친절하고 기분 좋은 것이라고 생각합니다. 그리고 정치에 있어서 우리는 동의합니다. 요즘은 모든 집에 밀려드는 그런 시대입니다.

저는 프레스콧 씨를 정말 사랑합니다. 그러니 [p. 5] 서둘러서 한 말을 용서해 주세요. 저는 다른 어떤 인간보다 더 자유롭게 당신에게 편지를 쓰고, 그 순간의 인상을 전합니다. 저는 아마 냉정한 기분이었고 그의 쾌활한 기분은 흔들렸을 겁니다. 저는 그와 자주 대화하는 것을 매우 좋아하고, 위에서 말했듯이, 옛날처럼 친구들에게 소홀히 여겨졌던 사람들에게 베푸는 그의 친절함을 사랑하기 때문입니다.

그는 일몰 무렵 해변에서 산책을 하고, 돌아오는 길에 종종 우리와 함께 차를 마십니다. Sumner와 Henry는 토요일에 그와 함께 즐거운 저녁 식사를 했습니다.
수요일. 지금까지 편지를 쓰다가 여러 가지 방해로 중단되었고, 이제 더 이상 늦추기 위해 서둘러 마무리하겠습니다.

메리 돈이 방금 우리 근처에 도착했고, 나는 결혼식 카드를 돌려주러 간다! 꽤 늦은 시간이다! 지난 일요일에 마운트포드 씨가 우리에게 설교했다고 말했었지? 매우 열정적이고 감정적인 담론이었는데, 스타일과 태도가 독특했지만 내가 좋아하는 열정으로 가득 차 있었다. 그는 와서 우리와 함께 차를 마셨고, 우리는 그가 내가 영국에서 알고 있는 많은 좋은 사람들처럼 매우 사교적이고 [p. 6] 쾌활한 사람이라는 것을 알게 되었다.

나는 때때로 그 나라를 그리워하는 큰 마음을 가지고 있다. 나는 그 나라에 대한 감정의 톤이 우리가 여기에서 흔히 발견하는 것보다 더 조화를 이룬다고 확신한다. 헨리는 그곳에 따뜻한 알려지지 않은 친구들이 너무 많아서 정치가 오랜 친밀감을 깨뜨린 여기보다 그가 더 행복할 것이라고 생각하지 않을 수 없다.

다음 겨울에 서머너가 워싱턴에 갈 때 우리는 매우 고립될 것이다. 불쌍한 서머너! 그는 큰 위안 없이 그것을 고대한다. 그는 자신의 입장의 어려움을 너무나 분명하게 보고, 그가 하는 모든 일과 말하는 것이 지금까지 그랬던 것처럼 거짓 신문에 잘못 표현될 것임을 알고 있다. 그의 재능은 공적 생활에 있다고 생각하거나, 그가 그러하듯이 우리 옛 문학적 고요함을 크게 후회할 것입니다.

헨리는 최근 시인인 프라이리그라트로부터 길고 매우 흥미로운 편지를 받았고, 그는 친구 그룹에서 같은 이유로 같은 슬픈 이별을 겪었다고 말합니다. 예쁜 로저스 부인[p. 7](마사 피바디)이 여기 계셨고 다시 돌아오고 있습니다.

메리(톰) 드와이트는 영국에서 소식을 들었고, 어린 토미는 몸이 좋지 않습니다. 하늘이 그 소년을 살려주기를 바랍니다. 그는 강한 아이 같지는 않지만요.
오늘 아침 바다는 굉장했습니다. 오랜 고요함[sic]이 지나고 나서 다시 살아났고 가장 고귀한 에너지로 가득 찼습니다. 그 활기찬 신선함과 아름다움에 대한 나의 모든 옛 열정을 새롭게 했습니다.

한 주 동안의 엄청난 더위가 지나고 지금은 10월과 같고, 저는 제 불쌍한 아기가 따뜻한 옷을 제대로 입지 못해 안타까워하고 있습니다. 그녀는 예전만큼 건강해 보이지 않습니다. 이빨이 걱정스럽지만, 항상 웃을 준비가 되어 있습니다.
지금은 안녕, 사랑으로 Wm에게 영원히 당신을 사랑하세요

Fanny E.L.

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Nahant Monday

Dearest Emmeline,
How much we are separated in-deed! I knew nothing of all your anxieties until I received your letter – for in Cambridge I am almost wholly cut off from news of you, &, Harriot being gone, I had heard nothing since you left. I most deeply & truly share all your distress so prolonged & renewed as it is destined to be & fervently wish any earthly power of sympathy could alleviate it – but these are things I know not how to speak of, if I were with you the pressure of the hand would I fear be all I could say – for that is the only language I can command for these giant sorrows.

I feel greatly troubled that you should be compelled to so much nursing in your present condition [p. 2] & hope you will try not to overdo it – if not for your own sake for that other life for which you are responsible. I know there is a great temptation to do many unnecessary things, or rather things some one else could do as well, at such a time, & with such a stimulus before you I fear you will tax your strength too far.

But the most unavoidable strain upon your nerves is the constant thought of [crossed out: his] your husband’s prostrate condition, of the strength & promise of his life all bowed to the passive helplessness of a confirmed invalid, & to bear that thought must require God’s strongest comfort – may He abundantly uphold you and reconcile you reconcile you to the dreary future, if dreary one ought to call any lot devoted to the relief of another’s burden.

Yesterday I was hearing of another strong man brought low by paralysis – Dr Wesselhoft – the [p. 3] Water Doctor at Brattleboro whose memory is so affected that he can only remember the words “father” & “mother” & applies them to every thing tho’ clearly understanding all that is said to him.

The Mrs Hamilton I made so foolish a mistake about turns out to be Mrs Schuyler, who was Miss Hamilton, & whose mother has a cottage here next Mrs Lee’s, & whose equipage, with its snowy steeds, makes as much show as any here. We waded thro’ mud & muck the other night to Mary Parkman’s to drink tea with Mrs Tiffany of Baltimore who was with her for the night, & there found Edmund Dwight recently returned. Miss Ellen was saying smart severities as usual – Jewett says the English girls are far better bred than the Boston ones – less tart & more cordial.

He is delighted with a peep at country life they have had in going to various towns, from one hospitable house to another, hunting [p. 4] up Applet‎onian reminiscences by which it seems, by intermarriage, we are connected with Anne Bolen among others! This charming ruralizing was far better for my father than London parties & I hope he will return to it, but they were to be presented on the 14 of July so had to go return to the great Babylon for that.

The Peabody affair Jewett only was at. The company was rather promiscuous he says, tho It was a very splendid [crossed out: affair] ball. Think of cheering the Iron Duke – put down probably to barbaric enthusiasm! Hatty’s letters are very clever. Mary Parkman has lent me 1st Vol of Wordsworth’s life which is interesting of course. Sumner is here, at the Storys, & looks in now & then.

I am sorry she goes back to Europe in the autumn (her husband has his fathers statue to make after he has done his life for which he came home & is now about) I do not find her pretentions but sensible & kind & pleasing and in politics we agree which is something in these times when it thrusts itself into every house.

I really love Mr Prescott, so forgive me for my [p. 5] hasty word. In writing to you I speak with more freedom than to any other mortal, & give you just the moment’s impression. I was probably in a sober mood & his gay one jarred, for I much enjoy our frequent chats with him & love him, as I said above, for his kindness to those neglected by friends as old.

He walks at sunset from the beach & often takes tea with us on his way back. Sumner & Henry had a pleasant dinner with him on Saturday.
Wednesday. So far got I when various interruptions broke off my letter, and now to delay it longer I will hastily conclude.

Mary Don has just arrived near us & I go to return the wedding card! Rather late in the day! Did I tell you Mr Mountford preached for us Sunday before last two very racy, feeling discources, peculiar in style & manner, but full of the fervour I like. He came & took tea with us & we found him a very sociable ag [p. 6] reeable man, like so many nice people I have known in England.

I have a great heart yearning at times for that country. I feel sure the tone of sentiment is more in harmony with ours than we often find here & Henry has so many warm unknown friends there that I cannot but think he would be happier than here where politics have broken up so many old intimacies.

When Sumner goes to Washington next winter we shall be very solitary – Poor Sumner! he looks forward to it with no great comfort. He sees the difficulties of his position so clearly & knows everything he does & says will be misrepresented in the lying papers as it has hitherto. I think his talent is for public life or I should much regret, as he does, our old literary quiet together.

Henry had a long & very interesting letter from Freiligrath, the poet, lately & he speaks of the same sad separations, for the same causes, in his group of friends. Pretty Mrs Rogers [p. 7] (Martha Peabody) has been here & is coming back again.

Mary (Tom) Dwight has been heard from in England, little Tommy not very well. I hope Heaven will spare them that boy tho’ he does not seem a strong child.
The sea was glorious this morning; after a long tranquillity [sic] it was all alive again & full of its noblest energy – renewing all my old passion for its vigorous freshness & beauty.

After a week of great heat it is now like October & I am lamenting my poor baby is so ill provided with warm clothes. She does not look as well as she did – her teeth worry her – but she is always ready to laugh.
Good bye for the present with love to Wm ever affly thine

Fanny E.L.