참父母經 / Chambumo Gyeong - 168 - 피란민 생활과 그 고난

[대태양/김현수]

피란민 생활과 그 고난

참아버님께서는 1951년 1월 27일 부산 초량역에 도착하신 뒤 김원필씨와 함께 대합실에서 버터 깡통에 밥을 지어 요기하고 첫날밤을 보내셨다. 당시 부산은 피란민들로 인산인해였다. 다음날 아침 서울 흑석동 집에 주소만 남겨 놓고 피란 내려와 있던 곽노필씨를 찾아 3일간을 보내셨다. 그리고 1월 31일 우연히 일본 유학시절 친구 엄덕문씨를 만나 엄씨의 강권에 못 이겨 곧바로 부민동 그의 단칸 셋방으로 옮겨 부인과 두 자녀 등 네 식구와 더불어 옹색한 생활을 시작하셨다. 일주일간 말씀을 들은 엄씨는 무릎을 꿇고 ‘그대는 나의 친구가 아니고 나의 선생이요 위대한 성인이요 또 철인입니다.’라고 고백하였다. 참아버님과 김원필씨는 4월 초순경 초량역 뒤쪽의 협소한 판잣집 노무자 숙소에 들어가 10여 일을 지냈고, 길에서 우연히 만난 흥남 옥중제자 김원덕씨의 괴정동 집에서도 반달가량 머무르셨으며, 해방 전에 전기회사 직원사택으로 썼던 범냇골 어귀 집에서 5월부터 8월까지 4개월가량 하숙을 하셨다. 또 제3 부두에서 목도 일을 하시면서 반달가량 지내셨다. 어떤 때에는 양지쪽 숲속이나 방공호에서도 주무시는 등 눈물어린 피란민 생활을 하셨다. 그리고 밥을 얻어 드시고 때로는 낯선 집 처마 밑에 몸을 의탁하셨다.

5 부산에 도착하니 사람으로 초만원이었습니다. 방은 어디에 가도 없었습니다. 쓰레기통 같고 빈 상자 같은 데에도 두세 사람이 있었습니다. 한국의 전역에서 피란해 온 사람들이 부산에 전부 모인 것입니다. 마치 끊는 가마솥 같았습니다. 발 디딜 곳도 없을 정도였습니다. 마을은 언제나 초만원이었습니다. 똑바로 서 있어도 밀려가는 듯한 일상생활이었습니다. 부산에 왔는데 입을 옷도 없고 먹을 것도 없으니까 한 푼이라도 벌어야 했습니다. 그런 환경에서 여러 일을 하면서 새로운 교회 운동을 시작했습니다. 그리고 집이 없었습니다. 그때가 2월이니까 추웠습니다. 밤에는 일을 하고, 한밤중 10시에서 12시쯤에 돌아오니 추웠습니다. 그러니까 외투를 무릎 있는 데까지 덮고 새우처럼 움츠리고 잠을 잔 것이 지금도 인상적입니다. 그때 덮은 외투를 기념으로 남겨 두게끔 식구에게 맡겼는데도 불구하고 너덜너덜한 외투라고 버렸습니다. 지금 그것이 남아 있어서 여러분이 본다면 보는 것만으로도 눈물이 줄줄 흐를 정도로 기념이 되는 외투가 되었을 것입니다. 그런 일을 하면서 한발 한발 걸어 나와 오늘과 같은 기반을 닦은 것입니다.

6 엄덕문씨는 학창시절 친구였는데, 그 친구를 수정동 네거리에 있는 조흥은행 앞에서 비가 내리는 날 낮 12시쯤에 만났습니다. 만나자마자 나도 모르게 소리를 지르게 되었고, 길 가던 사람들이 전부 돌아봤습니다. 엄씨는 나를 만날 줄 몰랐다고 합니다. 내가 이북에서 죽은 줄 알고 있었습니다. 엄씨는 나를 만나자마자 자기 집으로 가자고 했습니다. 지금까지 고맙게 생각하고 있습니다. 많은 사람이 늦게까지 피란을 왔기 때문에 집이라는 집의 처마 아래에까지도 앉아서 밤을 지새울 수밖에 없었습니다. 그러니 오후 1시 2시 제일 따뜻할 때 외투를 뒤집어쓰고 동산에 올라가 바위 사이에 앉아서 자던 상황에서 엄씨가 집으로 데리고 가서 대접해주던 것을 지금도 잊지 못합니다.

7 아버님의 흥남감옥 이후 부산까지의 노정은 넉 달이라는 긴 시간이 걸리게 되었는데, 여러분은 아버님의 옷이 그동안에 얼마나 더러워졌는지를 상상하지 못할 것입니다. 옷이 너무 더러워서 뒤집어 입고 다녔습니다. 그리고 잠을 잘 만한 곳도 없었습니다. 홑옷을 입고 내려오던 때가 12월이었으니까 몹시 춥기도 했습니다. 부산에 도착했을 때 추위를 피하기 위해서 밤에는 기지 부두에 가서 노동일을 했습니다. 일을 하는 것이 잠을 자는 것보다 더 쉬웠습니다. 그리고 낮에는 산에 올라가서 숲속에 잠자리를 정해서 잠도 자고 혼자의 시간을 갖기도 했습니다.

8 아버님은 부산에 피란 가서 부둣가에서도 자고 산속에서도 잤습니다. 재미 있습니다. 군인 외투를 깔고 잘 때에는 2월 초라서 추웠습니다. 밤에는 춥기 때문에 나가서 돈벌이하고 낮에는 10시에서 2시 사이에 자는 것입니다. 그때는 양지쪽에 가서 가만히 앉아 꿩처럼 딱 자리를 잡고 자면 좋습니다. 자고 일어나서 옷을 입었을 때에는 김삿갓의 시가 생각나는 것입니다. 그러다가 돈이 생겨서 죽이 먹고 싶으면 부둣가로 나갑니다. 부둣가의 아주머니들이 팥죽을 쑤어 오면 식을세라 보자기를 덮어서 그저 자기 귀동자 외아들을 품고 사랑하듯 귀하게 여겼습니다. 이 죽을 사 먹는 것입니다. 그때에는 그 사람들이 친구였습니다.

避難民生活とその苦難
 
真のお父様は、一九五一年一月二十七日、釜山の草梁（チョリャン）訳に到着され、金元弼と共に、待合室でバター缶を使って御飯を作り、飢えをしのいで最初の夜を過ごされた。当時、釜山は避難民でごった返していた。翌朝から、ソウルの黒石洞の家に住所だけを残して、避難してきていた郭魯弼を探し、三日間過ごされた。そして、一月三十一日、偶然にも日本留学時代の友人である嚴德紋（オムドンムン）に出会い、嚴德紋の強い勧めを断り切れず、すぐに富民洞（プミンドン）にある一間の彼の借り部屋に移り、彼の妻と二人の子女ら、四人家族と共に、窮屈な生活を始められた。一週間、み言を聞いた嚴德紋は、ひざまずき、「あなたは私の友ではなく、私の先生であり、偉大な聖人であり、哲人です」と告白した。真のお父様と金元弼は、四月初旬頃、草梁駅の裏にある、労働者の宿所として使われていた狭いバラックに入って十日ほど過ごし、道で偶然出会った、興南の獄中の弟子である金元德（キムウォンドク）の槐亭洞（クェヂョンドン）の家にも半月ほど滞在され、解放前に電気会社の職員社宅として使われたポムネッコルの入り口の家で、五月から八月まで、四カ月ほど下宿された。また、第三埠頭で荷物を運ぶ仕事をしながら半月ほど過ごされた。ある時は、日当たりの良い森の中や、防空壕でも眠られるなど、涙ぐましい避難民生活をされた。そして、もらった御飯を召し上がり、時には見知らぬ家の軒下に身を寄せられた。
 
５ 釜山に着くと人で超満員でした。部屋はどこに行っても空いていませんでした。ごみ箱や空箱のような所にも二、三人の人がいました。韓国の全域から避難してきた人々がすべて釜山に集まったのです。まるで、煮え返る釜のようでした。足の踏み場もないほどでした。町はいつも超満員で、まっすぐに立っていても、押されていくような日常生活だったのです。
 
釜山に来たのに、着る物もなく、食べ物もないので、一銭でも稼がなければなりませんでした。そのような環境で様々な仕事をしながら、新しい教会運動を始めていきました。また、家がありませんでした。その時は二月なので寒い時期です。夜に仕事をして、夜中の十時から十二時頃に帰ってくるので寒かったのです。ですから、オーバーを膝までかぶせて、海老のように身をすくめて眠ったことが今でも印象に残っています。その時かぶったオーバーを、記念として残しておくようにと食口に預けたにもかかわらず、ぼろぼろのオーバーだといって捨ててしまいました。今それが残っていて、皆さんが目にすれば、見ただけで涙をぽろぽろと流すほど記念になるオーバーでした。そのようなことをしながら、一歩一歩、歩んできて今日の基盤を築いたのです。
 
６ 嚴德紋氏は学生時代の友人ですが、その友人に、水晶洞（スヂョンドン）の十字路にある朝興銀行の前で、雨の降る日の昼の十二時頃に出会ったのです。出会うなり我知らず叫んでしまい、道行く人たちがみな振り返りました。嚴德紋氏は、私に会うとは思いもしなかったそうです。私が北朝鮮で死んだものと思っていたのです。嚴德紋氏は私に会うなり、「自分の家に行こう」と言いました。今でもそのことを感謝しています。大勢の人が絶えず避難してきたために、家という家の軒下にまで座り、夜を明かすしかなかったのです。ですから、午後一時、二時の最も暖かい時間にオーバーをかぶって、近くの山に登り、岩の間に座って寝ていた状況で、嚴德紋氏が家に連れていってもてなしてくれたことは、今も忘れることができません。
 
７ お父様の興南監獄以降、釜山までの路程は、四カ月という長い期間でしたが、皆さんは、お父様の服がその間にどれほど汚れたか、想像もできないでしょう。服があまりにも汚いので、裏返しに着ていました。また、寝られるような場所もありませんでした。そのように薄手の服を着て下ってきた時が十二月だったので、とても寒かったのです。釜山に着いてからは、寒さを避けるために、夜に基地の埠頭に行って働きました。仕事をするほうが、寝るよりも楽だったのです。そして、昼は山に登って、林の中で寝場所を決めて眠ったり、一人の時間をもったりしました。
 
８ お父様は、釜山に避難してきて、波止場のほとりでも寝て、山の中でも寝ました。おもしろいというのです。軍人の外套を敷いて寝る時は、二月の初めなので寒かったのです。夜は寒いので、出掛けてお金を稼ぎ、昼は十時から二時の間に寝ます。その時は日当たりの良い所に行き、じっと座って、雉のようにしっかりと寝場所を定めて寝れば、それで良いのです。寝て起きて服を着ると、金（キム）サッカ（李朝末期の放浪詩人）の詩が思い浮かびます。そうしてお金ができ、お粥を食べたくなったら波止場に出掛けるのです。波止場のほとりのおばさんたちが、冷めるのではないかと布切れで小豆粥を包み、自分のかわいい一人息子を抱いて愛するように、大事に手渡してくれます。このお粥を買って食べるのです。その時は、その人たちが友達でした。

Father's suffering life as a refugee
Arriving at Choryang Station in Busan on January 27, 1951, True Father cooked rice in a butter tin in the waiting room. He ate it with Kim Won-pil, and they spent their first night there. At the time Busan was teeming with refugees. The next morning, they managed to find Kwak No-pil, who had left his Busan address for them at his home in Heukseok-dong, Seoul before fleeing to Busan ahead of them. They spent three days with him.

Then on January 31, True Father unexpectedly met his friend Aum Duk-mun, with whom he had studied in Japan. Aum Duk-mun would become a prominent architect and design the Se-jong Center in Seoul. Mr. Aum insisted that True Father come and stay with him at his rented single room in Bumin-dong. Reluctantly True Father went there and stayed for a while with Mr. Aum's family of four—himself, his wife, and their two children. After listening to True Father's words for a week, Mr. Aum knelt down before him and confessed, "I can no longer regard you as simply my friend; you are my teacher, a great saint and philosopher."

In early April, True Father and Kim Won-pil went to live in a laborers' camp, which was nothing but a cramped barracks behind Choryang Station. They stayed there for more than ten days. Then they ran into Kim Won-deok, who had been one of True Father's followers in Heungnam Prison. They stayed at his home in Goejeong-dong for about two weeks. For about four months, from May to August, they resided at a boarding house located at the entrance of Beomnaetgol, which before the liberation had been living quarters for employees of a Japanese-run electric company. They also stayed at Pier Three in Busan Harbor for about half a month, working as porters. Sometimes True Father had no choice but to sleep in a sunny spot in the woods or a bomb shelter. Occasionally he even begged for food and laid down to rest under the eaves of strangers' homes. Such was the tearful life he led as a refugee. (170-016, 1987/11/01)
 
5 When I arrived in Busan, it was flooded with people; they were packed in like sardines. There were no rooms available anywhere. In every trash can or empty box even, there would be two or three people squeezed in. All the refugees who had fled from all over Korea gathered in Busan. It was like a melting pot. There was no space even to put your foot down. Every village around Busan was overflowing with people. Even when trying to just stand still, I would be jostled this way and that. That was my daily life.

Having come to Busan, I had nothing to wear and nothing to eat. I had to make money, even a few pennies, so I worked at various odd jobs. Even in those circumstances I was still able to start a new church movement.

I had no home of my own and it was February, so it was very cold. I worked on night shifts and came back between 10:00 p.m. and midnight. It was very cold at night, so I would sleep curled up like a shrimp and cover myself with a coat down to my knees. I still remember that experience. I asked a member to keep that coat as a memento, but someone threw it away because it was old and tattered. If that coat had been preserved so that you could see it today, you would shed tears. It was such a memorable coat. Living like that, I walked step by step to lay the foundation we have today. (1974/05/12)
 
6 In those days, I often slept between two rocks on a hill during the warmest hours of the day, around 1:00 or 2:00 p.m., covering myself with a coat. Then, one rainy day around noontime, in front of the Chohung Bank, I met a friend of mine from my school days named Aum Duk-mun. When I saw him, I could not help but loudly shout out to him, so everyone turned around and stared at me. He said that he never imagined he would see me again. He thought I had died in North Korea. As soon as we met, he invited me into his home. I am still grateful for his act of kindness. There were too many refugees sitting and resting under the eaves of people's houses at night. I can never forget how he took me to his house and treated me well. (485-327, 2005/02/02)
 
7 After I came out of Heungnam Prison, it took me four long months to get to Busan. You cannot imagine how dirty my clothes became. My clothes were so dirty that I wore them inside out. In Busan there was nowhere to sleep. It was December and really cold, and I was wearing just one layer of clothing. When I came to Busan, I tried to avoid the cold by working as a laborer at the military base near the harbor at night. Working at night was easier than trying to sleep. During the day, I went into the hills around the city to find a place to sleep in the forest and spend some time alone. (052-279, 1972/01/03)
 
8 When I was a refugee in Busan, I slept near the pier or on a hillside. It was interesting. In early February when it was cold, I would lay down on my military coat and wrap myself up in it. Because it was very cold, I worked during the night and slept during the day, from around 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. It was good to sleep on the sunny side of the hill, sitting still and sleeping like a pheasant. After waking up from sleep and straightening my clothes, I thought of Kim Sat-gat’s poem "The Wanderer." When I had money and wanted to eat porridge, I would go to the harbor near the wharves. There were women there who sold red bean porridge that they cooked, covering their pots with a cloth to keep it warm as if they were loving and caring for their babies. I would buy a bowl of porridge and eat it. In those days, those porridge-sellers were my friends.