5/1(화)-DEAR ABBY

[sugarpowder]

5/1(화)-Whirlwind Internet romance ends in blizzard of threats
- 협박으로 끝난 인터넷 로맨스 -

  DEAR ABBY: I am a 23-year-old woman who has always had a hard
time letting people down or saying no. A few months ago, I met a
man online who lived across the country, and within a week he was
telling me he loved me. I'll admit now that I have some emotional
and relationship problems because of my past, and I enjoyed
hearing it. In fact, I embraced it and told him I loved him in return.
Now that I look at it, I realize I was only in love with the idea of
being in love.

저는 다른 사람들을 실망하도록 만들거나 안 된다고 거절할 줄을 모르는 23세
여성이에요. 몇 달 전 인터넷에서 미국 반대편에 사는 남자를 만났는데 그는
저를 만난 지 일주일도 안 돼서 사랑한다고 말했어요. 과거 경험 때문에
저에게 감정적인 문제가 있고 사람을 잘 사귀지 못한다는 사실도 인정하지만
그 말을 들었을 때 기분이 좋았어요. 사실은 그의 말을 기쁘게 받아들였고
저도 그를 사랑한다고 말했어요. 다시 돌아보면, 누군가와 사랑에
빠진다는 생각을 사랑하는 것뿐이라는 걸 깨달았어요.

We had several problems in the first few days, but we worked
them out. Two weeks after he first told me he loved me, he proposed.
We had never even met. Being the person I am, I said yes. He told
me he was going to buy plane tickets for me, as soon as he could
find a place to live. (He was living with his parents.)

처음 며칠 동안엔 서로 몇 가지 문제들이 있었지만, 잘 헤쳐나갔어요. 그는 절
사랑한다고 말한 지 2주 후에 저에게 청혼했어요. 저희는 한번도 만난 적도
없거든요. 저는 저답게 좋다고 했죠. 그는 같이 살 집을 구하자마자 저를 위해
비행기표를 사겠다고 했어요. (그는 부모님과 함께 살고 있어요.)
I called him later that night to tell him I was deeply sorry, but I could
not accept his proposal nor move to be with him. He became irate
and told me he had already bought the tickets, and unless I was
on that plane he would sue me for the money he'd spent. I feel
horrible about it, but he has shown me no proof that he bought
them.

전 그 날 밤 늦게 그에게 전화를 해 정말 미안하다고 말하고 그의 청혼을
받아들일 수 없으며, 그와 함께 살지도 못하겠다고 말했어요. 그는 화를 내며
비행기표는 이미 사놓았고, 제가 비행기를 타지 않으면 고소해 비행기표 값을
받아내겠다고 위협했어요. 전 정말 소름이 끼쳤지만, 그는 비행기표를 진짜로
샀다는 증거를 보여주지 못했어요.

Now he's threatening to send some indecent pictures that he
somehow managed to get from a past lover of mine to all my family
and friends. I'm grateful to have gotten out of this relationship
before I made a serious mistake and actually got on that plane.
Can he sue me, and how should I deal with his threats about
the pictures?
이제는 또 어떻게 구했는지는 모르겠지만 제 옛 애인으로부터 음란한 사진을
구해 제 가족과 친구들에게 보내겠다고 협박을 해요. 전 제가 그 비행기를
타서 심각한 실수를 저지르기 전에 이 관계를 끊어 다행이라고 생각해요. 그가
절 고소할 수 있나요? 그리고 사진을 보내겠다는 협박에 대해서는 어떻게
대응해야 하죠? NOT IN LOVE IN THE US

DEAR NOT IN LOVE: Your online suitor appears to be both vindictive
and an extortionist. Neither is a desirable quality in a mate. Ignore
his threats about posting the pictures. You are lucky that your
common sense kicked in before things went any further. Can he
sue you? If he bought the tickets, he might be able to take you
to small claims court.

당신의 온라인 구혼자는 복수심이 있는데다가 착취까지 하려고 해요. 둘 다
배우자가 갖춰야 할 바람직한 자질이 아니지요. 사진을 퍼뜨리겠다는 협박은
무시하세요. 그와의 관계가 더 진전되기 전에 당신이 상식적인 판단을 해서
매우 운이 좋았어요. 그가 당신을 고소할 수 수 있냐고요? 그가 정말로
비행기표를 샀다면 소액 재판소에 끌려갈 수 있기는 해요.

However, the larger lesson here has to do with the revealing
photographs of you that wound up on the Internet in the first
place. Let this be a warning to others: The danger in posing
for x-rated pictures is that in the cold light of day, they can be
a huge embarrassment.

하지만 이번 일로 배워야 할 더욱 큰 교훈은 인터넷에 공개된 당신의 노출
사진과 관련이 있어요. 다른 사람들도 이 사건으로 교훈을 얻어 가기를 바래요.
성인용 사진 촬영의 위험은 정신을 차리고 보면 매우 난처해질 수
있다는 겁니다.

 embrace: to take up willingly or eagerly (제안 등을) 기꺼이 받아들이다
 irate: extremely angry, enraged 노한, 성난
 vindictive: hateful, revengeful 복수심 있는, 앙심 깊은
 in the cold light of day: dispassionately, unemotionally,
 especially at a later time 현실적이 되어서 생각해 보니

1. 인터넷 채팅을 통해 이성과 데이트해 본 적 있나요? 경험을 말해 주세요.

2. 인터넷 채팅으로 이성에게 다툼이 생기거나 욕설을 듣거나 협박을 당한 적 있나요?

3. 애인과 함께 노출 사진이나 동영상을 찍은 적이 있나요?

4. 그 남자는 진짜 표를 샀을까요? 진짜 사진을 인터넷에 퍼트릴까요?

또 만약 당신이 그 남자처럼 화가 난 상태라면 어떻게 하시겠습니까?

5. 당신이라면 애니의 말처럼 그 남자의 협박을 무시할 수 있나요?

6. 이 여자에게 해주고 싶은 충고는?

DEAR ABBY:

 

My parents split when I was 3 and divorced when I was 6. I am now 28.

Mama remarried when I was 7 to a man I consider to be my dad.

My biological father, "Kevin," lived in the same town we did until I was 11, when

 we moved. (My stepfather was in the military.)

Communications and visits were rare before we moved and have been nearly

nonexistent ever since. Kevin never paid child support and only occasionally

remembered birthdays when I was young.

He called once a few years ago.

The entire conversation was centered around his making excuses about why he

was never around and never supported us.

In the end, he blamed Mama for it.

He never once apologized for being a deadbeat dad or his lack of interest in my

life. Kevin called again a few months ago.

I was civil to him although I didn＇t offer much in the way of conversation.

He said he and his wife had prepared their wills and that I was named in his.

I simply said "OK" and didn＇t ask any questions.

Kevin has called a couple of times since, but I have no motivation to return his

 calls. This week I got a birthday card from him in the mail -- two weeks late, of

course. It contained a check for a small amount of money.

I honestly did not feel any loss for not having Kevin in my life because I was

blessed with a loving, caring male parent.

Sharing DNA does not constitute being a father in my book.

But I think he at least owes me an apology or some kind of admission of

wrongdoing if he expects me to be civil and communicate with him.

Should I return the check?

Should I cash it, and write a letter thanking him for remembering my birthday,

albeit late? Or should I tell him I am not willing to talk to him until he＇s willing to

offer me an apology? -- DAUGHTER WHO DOESN＇T NEED TWO DADS

DEAR DAUGHTER:

 

For someone who "honestly did not feel any loss for not having him in (your) life,"

you appear to be genuinely steamed at your birth father.

The time has come to be honest with yourself about your feelings of anger,

disappointment and abandonment -- and tell him honestly how you feel.

Then hear him out.

You may learn that your mother made it difficult for your father to see you

-- and the move reinforced it.

He may also have had financial problems that made monetary support difficult.

Only he can give you the details that, in my opinion, you sorely need to hear.

It is clear your father is now trying to make amends, even if it's not in the form of

an apology.

어휘 및 표현

• deadbeat dad: a father who defaults on his obligation to provide financial support for his offspring (이혼 후의) 자녀 양육비를 내지 못하는 아버지
• in one’s book: according to one's opinion ~의 의견으로는
• albeit: even though, although ~이긴 하지만
• make amends: compensate someone for a grievance or injury 고치다, 개선하다

1. 만약 당신이 이 남자라면 갑작스런 아버지의 출현을 받아들일 수 있나요?

2. 애비의 충고처럼 아버지와 직접 이야기 해야할까요? 아니면

그냥 무시하는게 좋을까요?

3. 당신이 아버지 입장이라면 버렸던 아들을 다시 찾아 갈수 있나요?

DEAR ABBY:      
 
몇 년 전 인근 지역에서 열린 자선행사에서 만난 여자와 바람을 피운 적이 있어요.
그녀를 ‘데지레’라고 부를게요.

재수 없게도 몇 년 후 데지레는 제 처제가 되었어요.

제 아내는 항상 자신보다 “더 예쁜” 여동생을 질투를 해왔어요.

아내는 저희가 데지레를 보러 갈 때마다 이 점을 상기시켜 줘요.

지금 데지레가 금전적인 문제를 겪고 있는데,

데지레는 자신을 도와주지 않는다면 저희의 과거사를 아내에게 말하겠다고 위협하고 있어요.

아내와의 관계는 제가 아내의 개를 차로 치고,

같은 주에 있었던 결혼 기념일도 깜빡 잊어버려서 이미 위기를 겪고 있는 중이에요.

어떡하죠?

A few years ago I had an affair with a woman I met at a local benefit.
I＇ll call her "Desiree."

As luck would have it, a few years later, Desiree would become my sister-in-law.

My wife has always been jealous of her "more attractive" sister.

She reminds me of that fact every time we visit.

Now Desiree is having money problems,

and she＇s threatening to tell my wife about our "history" if I don＇t accommodate her needs.

My marriage is already on thin ice because I ran over my wife＇s dog

and forgot our anniversary in the same week.

What should I do?

-- BLACKMAILED IN BURBANK

 
DEAR BLACKMAILED:      
 
처제의 협박에 무릎을 꿇으면 그녀의 금전적인 문제는 해결되고
당신은 당신의 아내와 함께 있는 한 그녀에게 돈을 제공하게 될 거에요.

머리를 쓰세요.

아내에게 모든 사실을 털어 놓아 미리 최악의 경우가 발생할 수 있는 가능성을 차단해 버리세요.

아내의 언니를 먼저 만난 건 당신의 잘못이 아니예요.

오히려 더 나은 자매와 결혼하게 된 행운에 감사해야 되죠.

If you knuckle under to your sister-in-law's threats, her money problems will be over
and you will be paying her off for the duration of your marriage.

Be smart.

Nip this in the bud by telling your wife everything.

It isn't your fault that you met her sister first.

You should thank your lucky stars that you wound up marrying the right one.

 
어휘 및 표현
 

• knuckle under: to yield to pressure 굴복하다
• nip in the bud: halt something at an early stage 미연에 방지하다(봉오리 때에 따다)
• housewarming: a celebration of the occupancy of a new home 집들이
• gimmick: any clever (deceptive) maneuver 비밀 장치, 속임수