|
우리 삶의 전제조건은?
영어 이야기 2024
prerequisite
[prireˈkwəzət]
필요조건 (必要條件)
전제조건 (前提條件)
"사랑은 하지만 결혼은 하지 않는다,"는 괴상한 생각을 하는 사람들이 많다.
물론 그런 생각을 하는 사람들은
자신들이 '괴상'하지 않고 정상이라고 주장한다.
또 이런 '괴상한 생각'을 가진 사람들도 꽤 있다.
사랑은 하지 않지만 결혼을 해서 가정을 꾸미고
자녀들도 낳고 그들이 원하는 것들을 이루려고 하는 사람도 있다.
그들에게는 이런 상식적인 말과는 상관이 없을 것이다.
Love is a PREREQUISITE for marriage.
"사랑은 결혼의 전제 조건이다."
아무리 결혼과 사랑이 무관하다는 주장을 하지만
그런 사람들이 함께 사는 사람을 '알아야 한다'는 전제조건을 갖춰야 한다.
구약 성경에서 '안다'고 하는 것은
그냥 대충 아는 정도가 아니었다,
인류의 시조 아담과 이브가 부부관계를 가졌을 때 ~
Adam lay with his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain
아담이 그의 아내와 잠자리에 눕고
그녀가 임신하고 가인을 낳았다
(Genesis / 창세기 4:1)
그런데 옛날 번역 (King James Version) 에서는
And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain,
아담이 그의 아내 이브를 '알았고'
그녀가 임신해서 가인을 낳았다
여기서 부부관계를 맺었다는 동사를 know 를 썼다는 것이 의미가 있다
'안다'는 것이 그냥 지식 정도가 아니라
서로를 깊이 안다는 것이고 그것이 곧 부부관계를 맺는다는 것이다
그러다 보니 서로 알아야 서로 이해하는 관계가 된다는 말도 된다
Recognition is a PREREQUISITE to understanding.
인식 (아는 것)은 이해에 선행된다
구약 성경의 안다 (인식)는 동사가 부부관계를 맺는다는 뜻이라면
이해하지 못하는 부부관계는 성립하기 어렵다는 말도 된다.
prerequisite 은 pre (before) + requisite (필요하다) 이므로
필요한 것을 미리 안다는 말의 뿌리를 하고 있다
prerequisite 라는 명사는 1960 에서 1980년까지
가장 많이 쓰여지다가 계속해서 下向曲線 (하향곡선)을 그리고 있다.
전제조건이라는 말이 점점 희박하게 사용되고 있다는 말은
조건같은 것은 생각하지 않고'
즉흥적으로 결정하는 일이 많다는 뜻도 된다.
옛날 손만 잡아도 '책임져야 한다'는 전제조건은 사라지고
남녀가 성관계를 가져도 아무 조건 없이
헤어져도 아무치도 않다는 생각까지 하게 된 세상에 우리는 살고 있다
사랑이 그렇다고 다른 전저조건도 희미해지지는 않는다
내가 영어를 좋아해서만은 아니다
English language proficiency is a prerequisite for many fields.
영어라는 언어의 능숙함은 많은 분야에서 전제조건이 되고 있다
행복을 위해 필요한 것이 많지만 ~
Good self-esteem is a PREREQUISITE for a happy life.
자신감은 행복한 삶의 전저조건이다.
돈이나 명예가 아니라 '자신감'이 행복의 조건이라는 말이다
거기에 하나를 더하면 ~
A happy life is a PREREQUISITE for health.
행복한 삶은 건강을 전제조건으로 하고 있다
능숙
Kenneth Silvestri Ed.D.
A Wider Lens
RELATIONSHIPS
The "Win-Win Volley" in Relationships
1960 ~ 80 up 下向曲線
Prerequisite is partly based on requirere, the Latin verb meaning "to need or require". So a prerequisite can be anything that must be accomplished or acquired before something else can be done. Possessing a valid credit card is a prerequisite for renting a car.
Personal Perspective:
An exercise to improve communication and connection.
Posted September 11, 2023
prerequisite to
선행되어야 할
degree is an essential prerequisite for employment at this level.
Love is a prerequisite for marriage.
Marxists are wrong when they call atheism the prerequisite for Marxism.
Good self-esteem is a prerequisite for a happy life.
Isn't that a necessary prerequisite for taking part in the first place?
English language proficiency is a prerequisite for studying abroad.
능숙
The preliminary exam is a prerequisite for the advanced course.
The preliminary exam is a prerequisite for the advanced course.
The in-form is a prerequisite for accessing certain benefits.
A prerequisite of being a member of our party is a thick skin and a sense of humour.
A sound knowledge of the laws of tennis is a definite prerequisite for becoming a ball boy.
Training is a prerequisite for competence.
Recognition is a prerequisite to understanding.
알야야 이해하
Passing a written exam is a prerequisite for taking the advanced course.
A sense of humour is prerequisite to understanding her work.
Since when has toughness been a prerequisite for a leader who can give his people stability and peace?
Honesty is a prerequisite for a healthy society.
Anatomy is a prerequisite for many health-related fields.
You cannot bypass by the prerequisite courses.
In fact, a college education is now a prerequisite for many careers.
"This was always the prerequisite act before a fight: you push your hat forward."
Health is the prerequisite[first requisite] for success
Reviewed by Kaja Perina
“It takes two to know one, what is the pattern that connects the crab to the lobster and the primrose to the orchid, and all of them to me to you?”
Gregory Bateson
I have found from working for the past forty years as a family therapist a simple
but profound prerequisite to having a rewarding relational experience, one that is beyond what we are accustomed to and seldom recognize in our everyday interactions.
article continues after advertisement
prerequisite
1630s (n.) "a thing or condition required beforehand," 1650s (adj.), "required beforehand, necessary as a condition of something following;" see pre- "before" + requisite. A verb prerequire "require beforehand" is attested from 1610s.
also from 1630s
Entries linking to prerequisite
word-forming element meaning "before," from Old French pre- and Medieval Latin pre-, both from Latin prae (adverb and preposition) "before in time or place," from PIE *peri- (source also of Oscan prai, Umbrian pre, Sanskrit pare "thereupon," Greek parai "at," Gaulish are- "at, before," Lithuanian prie "at," Old Church Slavonic pri "at," Gothic faura, Old English fore "before"), extended form of root *per- (1) "forward," hence "beyond, in front of, before."
The Latin word was active in forming verbs. Also see prae-. Sometimes in Middle English muddled with words in pro- or per-.
"needed, necessary, required by circumstances or the nature of things, so needful that it cannot be dispensed with," mid-15c., from Latin requisitus, past participle of requirere "seek to know, ask, ask for" (see require). As a noun, "that which is necessary, something indispensable," from c. 1600. Related: Requisiteness.
Imagine your daily encounters occurring within win-win volleys like being on a ping pong table. If you spike the ball, you and whoever you are communicating with both lose. This can be construed as lacking synchrony. However, a win-win communication is based on harmony, improvisation, empathy and mutuality when sharing a common context. This framework opens the door to a multitude of possibilities that bring relationships to a new level. It is an assertive means to “softening” one's being. The consequence of such a shift is that you can savor the “creative energy” of mutual learning as a work of art and what it means to be interdependent.
Personal interpretation, (c) Kenneth Silvestri
Emerging ForcesSource: Personal interpretation, (c) Kenneth Silvestri
So how might this enhance relationships? I can attest that families articulating why they seek therapy mostly describe presenting problems as interpersonal conflicts, which surprisingly to them can be the forum for creativity.
First, let's consider the problem. When we engage in and sustain adversarial dynamics there is a tendency to perpetuate polarization on steroids. Gregory Bateson described it as "schismogenesis" meaning creating a division. It can take a “complementary” form or behavioral pattern such as the arms race or a couple accusing each other of who is to blame for their unhappiness, resulting in escalating outcomes as each side attempts to improve their advantage. It can also occur when one person or group puts another in a "symmetrical" submissive pattern such as bullying and being demeaning. Either way it produces injurious consequences.
Here is a case in point that includes a pattern that I have encountered thousands of times: Henry and Jane came to couples therapy due to what they described as negative consequences from a struggle to communicate with each other. This occurred with their attempts at decision making, parenting two young children and lack of equity with household chores. Within moments they started bantering by blaming each other in ways that seemed to have a long-term habitual frequency. It became very heated with each saying “But you do this too…”
article continues after advertisement
After observing this revealing enactment, I had them settle down to do their genogram (a three generational psychological family tree. Each listened intently as their family of origin stories indicated many strengths and positive resources that could be used, but also a learned legacy of unhealthy communication patterns. Although they have been together for over fifteen years, they both expressed several times when describing their upbringing that “I never knew that about you...”
After explaining and encouraging them to try a win-win volley format, they began taking turns expressing their concerns and desire to make things better. Each agreed to intently listen and to paraphrase what they heard as well as checking to find out if they were on the same wavelength.
I also had them occasionally pause and use a “zooming in and out” exercise by imagining that they each had a camera taking a photo that described their present situation. I then asked them to widen that camera lens, taking time to use all their senses to form a new perspective before returning to their original photos and discussing how they can mutually create differences in their relationship. In most cases those experiencing this exercise describe a feeling of synchrony and will continue using this win-win volley especially when conflict seems unresolvable.
THE BASICS
Why Relationships Matter
Find counselling to strengthen relationships
Natasha Rabin (c) with permission
"Emergence"Source: Natasha Rabin (c) with permission
What I continue to learn from this framework is that when communication is recognized as being in-between individuals, there is a better opportunity to understand how relationships are interdependent.
My mentor, anthropologist Paul Byers described this synchrony as “good vibrations" or “state sharing.” When this joining begins, even with different temperaments and/or energy, a “biological phase locking” occurs in and out of awareness. This produces a powerful opportunity. It demonstrates how it takes two to know one. Nora Bateson, president of the International Bateson Institute describes this as “Symmathesy,” which generates "learning contexts through the process of interaction between multiple variables in a living entity, which supports mutual learning."
article continues after advertisement
In the words of Carl Jung, “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances, both are transformed." This lies between us and can be sustained by what emerges side by side and at the edges of win-win volleys that acknowledge our interdependence. This is the synergy of connecting with nature itself. However old habits die hard and we need support and encouragement to freely collaborate to mutually learn from each other.
Here are some prompts that may help you on the journey to improve relationships:
How would you best describe your communications style?
What unique qualities do you possess regarding communication?
Think of ways you can create contexts to be collaborative with others.
In what ways can you adjust and maintain improvement in your relationships?
What barriers would you encounter and how can you avoid them to improve your relationships?
Imagine you are volleying with one another in a very important moment of communication. What would you need to do to keep the conversation going in a way that creates a win-win moment?