PART 2 // chapter 7-2

[모나리자]

"당신은 믿지 못할 거예요, 상상도 못할 거예요, 폴렌카." 그녀가 방을 돌아다니며 말했다. "우리 아빠 집에서 얼마나 행복하고 호사스러운 삶을 살았는지, 그리고 이 술주정뱅이가 나를 어떻게 망가뜨렸는지, 그리고 당신들 모두를 망가뜨릴지! 아빠는 시민 대령이었고, 주지사가 되기 한 걸음만 더 전진하면 됐어요. 그래서 그를 보러 온 모든 사람이 '우리는 당신을 우리의 주지사로 여깁니다, 이반 미하일로비치!'라고 말했습니다.

내가... 언제...' 그녀는 격렬하게 기침을 했습니다. '오, 저주받은 인생이여' 그녀는 목을 가다듬고 두 손을 가슴에 얹으며 외쳤습니다. '내가... 마지막 무도회에서... 원수님... 베제멜니 공주가 나를 보았는데—당신 아버지와 내가 결혼했을 때 축복해 주었던 폴렌카—그녀는 즉시 '이혼식 때 숄 댄스를 추었던 예쁜 소녀가 아니었나요?'라고 물었습니다.

(그 찢어짐을 꿰매야 해요. 내가 보여준 대로 바늘을 가져다가 꿰매야 해요. 아니면 내일—헛기침, 헛기침—그가 구멍을 더 크게 만들 거예요." 그녀는 애쓰며 말했습니다.) "그때 캄머융커인 셰골스코이 왕자가 상트페테르부르크에서 방금 왔어요... 그는 나와 마주르카를 추었고 다음 날 제안을 하려고 했어요. 하지만 나는 그에게 아첨하는 표정으로 감사를 표하고, 내 마음은 오랫동안 다른 사람의 것이었다고 말했다.

그 다른 사람은 당신의 아버지, 폴리아였다. 아버지는 두려울 정도로 화가 났다.... 물은 준비되었나? 셔츠와 스타킹을 줘! 리다," 그녀는 막내에게 말했다.

"오늘 밤은 셰미즈 없이 지내야 해... 그리고 스타킹도 함께 펼쳐... 내가 같이 빨게.... 술 취한 방랑자가 왜 들어오지 않는 거지? 그는 셔츠를 접시처럼 보일 때까지 입었고, 그것을 누더기로 찢어버렸어! 나는 그것을 모두 한꺼번에 할 거야, 그러면 이틀 밤을 쉬지 않아도 되니까! 오, 세상에! (헛기침, 헛기침, 헛기침!) 또! 이게 뭐야?" 그녀는 복도에 군중이 있고, 짐을 지고 그녀의 방으로 들어오는 남자들을 보고 소리쳤다.

"뭐야? 뭐 가져오는 거야? 우리에게 자비를!" "그를 어디에 두어야 할까?" 경찰관이 마르멜라도프가 의식을 잃고 피투성이가 되어 실려 들어오자 주변을 둘러보며 물었다. "소파에! 머리를 이쪽으로 해서 바로 소파에 눕혀." 라스콜니코프가 그에게 보여주었다. "길에 치여! 취했어!" 누군가가 통로에서 소리쳤다. 카테리나 이바노브나는 일어나서 창백해졌고 숨을 헐떡였다. 아이들은 무서워했다. 리다는 비명을 지르며 폴렌카에게 달려가 그녀를 움켜쥐고 온몸을 떨었다. 마르멜라도프를 내려놓은 라스콜니코프는 카테리나 이바노브나에게 달려갔다.

"맙소사, 침착해, 두려워하지 마!" 그는 재빨리 말했다. "그는 길을 건너다가 마차에 치여 죽었어, 두려워하지 마, 그는 정신을 차릴 거야. 내가 그를 여기로 데려오라고 했어... 나는 이미 여기 왔었어, 기억나? 그는 정신을 차릴 거야. 내가 갚을게!" "이번에는 해냈어!" 카테리나 이바노브나는 절망적으로 소리치며 남편에게 달려갔다. 라스콜니코프는 그녀가 쉽게 기절하는 여자가 아니라는 것을 즉시 알아챘습니다. 그녀는 아무도 생각하지 못했던 불운한 남자의 머리 아래에 베개를 즉시 놓고 옷을 벗고 그를 검사하기 시작했습니다.

그녀는 머리를 숙이고 자신을 잊은 채 떨리는 입술을 깨물고 그녀에게서 터져 나올 비명을 억누르고 있었습니다. 그러는 동안 라스콜니코프는 누군가를 설득하여 의사를 부르게 했습니다. 바로 옆집에 의사가 한 명 있는 듯했습니다. "의사를 불렀어요." 그는 카테리나 이바노브나에게 계속 안심시켰습니다. "불안해하지 마세요. 내가 지불할게요. 물 안 주셨어요?... ​​그리고 냅킨이나 수건, 뭐든 가능한 한 빨리 주세요.... 그는 다쳤지만 죽지는 않았어요. 믿어주세요.... 의사가 뭐라고 하는지 들어보죠!"

카테리나 이바노브나는 창문으로 달려갔습니다. 구석에 있는 부러진 의자 위에 물이 가득 찬 큰 토기 대야가 놓여 있었습니다. 그날 밤 그녀의 아이들과 남편의 린넨을 빨기 위해 준비된 것입니다.

이 세탁은 카테리나 이바노브나가 일주일에 두 번 이상, 아니 그보다 더 자주 밤에 했습니다. 가족이 너무 힘들어서 린넨을 거의 갈아입을 수 없었고, 카테리나 이바노브나는 더러움을 참을 수 없었고, 집안에 먼지가 쌓이는 것을 보는 것보다는 밤에 지쳐서 나머지 사람들이 잠들었을 때 힘을 다해 일해서 젖은 린넨을 줄에 걸어 아침까지 말리는 것을 선호했습니다. 그녀는 라스콜니코프의 요청에 따라 물통을 들었지만, 짐 때문에 거의 쓰러질 뻔했습니다.

하지만 후자는 이미 수건을 찾아서 적시고 마르멜라도프의 얼굴에서 피를 씻기 시작했습니다. 카테리나 이바노브나는 고통스럽게 숨을 쉬며 가슴에 손을 얹은 채 서 있었습니다. 그녀 자신도 관심이 필요했습니다

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You wouldn’t believe, you can’t imagine, Polenka,” she said, walking about the room, “what a happy luxurious life we had in my papa’s house and how this drunkard has brought me, and will bring you all, to ruin! Papa was a civil colonel and only a step from being a governor; so that everyone who came to see him said, ‘We look upon you, Ivan Mihailovitch, as our governor!’

When I... when...” she coughed violently, “oh, cursed life,” she cried, clearing her throat and pressing her hands to her breast, “when I... when at the last ball... at the marshal’s... Princess Bezzemelny saw me—who gave me the blessing when your father and I were married, Polenka—she asked at once ‘Isn’t that the pretty girl who danced the shawl dance at the breaking-up?’

(You must mend that tear, you must take your needle and darn it as I showed you, or to-morrow—cough, cough, cough—he will make the hole bigger,” she articulated with effort.) “Prince Schegolskoy, a kammerjunker, had just come from Petersburg then... he danced the mazurka with me and wanted to make me an offer next day; but I thanked him in flattering expressions and told him that my heart had long been another’s.

That other was your father, Polya; papa was fearfully angry.... Is the water ready? Give me the shirt, and the stockings! Lida,” said she to the youngest one,

“you must manage without your chemise to-night... and lay your stockings out with it... I’ll wash them together.... How is it that drunken vagabond doesn’t come in? He has worn his shirt till it looks like a dish-clout, he has torn it to rags! I’d do it all together, so as not to have to work two nights running! Oh, dear! (Cough, cough, cough, cough!) Again! What’s this?” she cried, noticing a crowd in the passage and the men, who were pushing into her room, carrying a burden.

“What is it? What are they bringing? Mercy on us!” “Where are we to put him?” asked the policeman, looking round when Marmeladov, unconscious and covered with blood, had been carried in. “On the sofa! Put him straight on the sofa, with his head this way,” Raskolnikov showed him. “Run over in the road! Drunk!” someone shouted in the passage. Katerina Ivanovna stood, turning white and gasping for breath. The children were terrified. Little Lida screamed, rushed to Polenka and clutched at her, trembling all over. Having laid Marmeladov down, Raskolnikov flew to Katerina Ivanovna.

“For God’s sake be calm, don’t be frightened!” he said, speaking quickly, “he was crossing the road and was run over by a carriage, don’t be frightened, he will come to, I told them bring him here... I’ve been here already, you remember? He will come to; I’ll pay!” “He’s done it this time!” Katerina Ivanovna cried despairingly and she rushed to her husband. Raskolnikov noticed at once that she was not one of those women who swoon easily. She instantly placed under the luckless man’s head a pillow, which no one had thought of and began undressing and examining him.

She kept her head, forgetting herself, biting her trembling lips and stifling the screams which were ready to break from her. Raskolnikov meanwhile induced someone to run for a doctor. There was a doctor, it appeared, next door but one. “I’ve sent for a doctor,” he kept assuring Katerina Ivanovna, “don’t be uneasy, I’ll pay. Haven’t you water?... and give me a napkin or a towel, anything, as quick as you can.... He is injured, but not killed, believe me.... We shall see what the doctor says!”

Katerina Ivanovna ran to the window; there, on a broken chair in the corner, a large earthenware basin full of water had been stood, in readiness for washing her children’s and husband’s linen that night.

This washing was done by Katerina Ivanovna at night at least twice a week, if not oftener. For the family had come to such a pass that they were practically without change of linen, and Katerina Ivanovna could not endure uncleanliness and, rather than see dirt in the house, she preferred to wear herself out at night, working beyond her strength when the rest were asleep, so as to get the wet linen hung on a line and dry by the morning. She took up the basin of water at Raskolnikov’s request, but almost fell down with her burden.

But the latter had already succeeded in finding a towel, wetted it and began washing the blood off Marmeladov’s face. Katerina Ivanovna stood by, breathing painfully and pressing her hands to her breast. She was in need of attention herself.