(목요모임) [26 April. 2018]Thursday meeting topic

[susanna]

How to Make the Right Choices in Life

A few weeks ago I asked readers what one problem they would like solved. Salina had a really interesting question regarding decision making and how to ‘know’ when you’re making the ‘right’ choices.

Salina asked:

“I’d love to get your insight into decisions that we make in life. When you reach a fork in the road, how do we know the decisions are right? When all is lost how do we trust our hearts to make the right choices? Also should we be ruled by our hearts or our heads? For heart led people, this can sometimes be detrimental as we need to listen to the logic sometimes. Complex stuff…would love your wise words on this.”

Great question Salina.

There are a couple of things that impact decision-making and can leave us feeling like we have made the ‘wrong’ choices in life.

The first is this:

Fear of failure

At times, we can put off making a decision because we don’t want to make the wrong one. When the reality is – there are no ‘wrong’ decisions.

If you break down the term ‘wrong decision’ what does this even mean? Usually that we haven’t got the result that we wanted.

The Dalai Lama once said:

“Sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”

I think this is an interesting point. We often ‘think’ we know what we want and what is right for us. It can be helpful though, to not get too ‘attached’ to an outcome as a result of a decision.

I like to call this approach ‘Open Minded Action’ – where the emphasis is on ‘taking action’ but not becoming too fixated with achieving a specific outcome or result.

The point is, sometimes we make a decision and we don’t get what we originally ‘wanted’, but what we do get turns out to be better.

So start by being open to alternative outcomes.

Avoid Over-thinking

I think secondly, over-thinking is one to avoid when decision-making. If we think too much about a problem it’s easy to over-complicate it and end up more confused than when we started.

I’ve talked before about the difference between ‘over analysis’ and ‘useful analysis’. It’s important to restrict any repetitive thoughts that are not bringing you to an action point – because this is an indicator you are running ‘over-analysis’ which is detrimental to decision making.

A good tip to overcome ‘over-analysis’ is to get your thoughts out of your head and onto paper. This is a great way to ‘structure’ your thinking.

Head Vs Heart

Thirdly, in response to your question about ‘head vs heart’ – this is a really interesting point.

In my opinion, balance is key.

You don’t want to be so ruled by your heart that all logic goes out the window, yet you don’t want to only be ruled by the ‘facts’ because gut instinct is very powerful stuff.

Lets break it down…

If I were to ONLY be ruled by my heart I might ‘feel’ like my heart is telling me to bet my life savings on a horse on the Melbourne Cup.

Would this be a wise decision?

I would say not.

On the other hand we can sometimes be so consumed by ‘the facts’ that we miss solutions! I’m sure we have all had a situation in our life where we have ‘felt’ like we were about to make a bad decision – yet logically our ‘feeling’ didn’t make sense and we went ahead anyway. A few weeks later it didn’t work out and we are mentally screaming ‘I JUST KNEW IT WAS A BAD IDEA!”

So how do you tell the difference between ‘gut instinct’ and ‘regular feelings or desires’? That is the million dollar question.

I might ‘feel’ like eating a pie, but that doesn’t mean my gut instinct is telling me too – clearly this is just a ‘desire’ in the form of an intense ‘feeling’.

In my experience ‘instinct’ is an ‘all pervading knowing’. It’s not led by a sensory gain (ie pleasure of any kind) – but is usually preceded by quiet contemplation.

One thing I have noticed is that ‘gut instinct feelings’ do not go away! If you get the ‘feeling’ something is not right then it lingers. Whereas ‘feelings’ associated with ‘pleasure’ (i.e. eating the pie) can be fleeting (depending on how good the pie looks!)

So, before you jump into making a decision based on a ‘feeling’ of any kind, I would try letting it sit with you for a while to see if it ‘lingers’ or if it disappears.

One other thing you can do to ensure you’re not being led by ‘feelings associated with pleasure’ is to ask the question:

“Is what I’m about to do for the benefit of everyone involved?”

This is a great way to check that the decision is morally sound.

Simple Life Strategy: 6 Tips for Making the Right Choices in Life

1. Banish any FEARS associated with making the wrong decision. Remember that failure is a pre-requisite for success.

2. If the voice inside your head is starting to repeat its-self, switch it off! This is over-analysis in action. Try getting your thoughts out of your head and onto paper to structure your thinking.

3. Practice ‘Open Minded Action’ where you ‘take action’ and make a decision but don’t get too attached to the outcome

4. Tune in for any ‘instinctive’ feelings associated with the decision you’re about to make. Be careful not to confuse ‘instinct’ with ‘desire’. Try sitting with your decision for a while to see if it ‘lingers’ before taking action.

5. Check in with your morals. Ask yourself “Is what I’m about to do for the benefit of everyone involved?”

6. Keep a balance between your head and your heart – you don’t want to throw logic out of the window, however it’s important to listen to your gut.

Questions!

 

Choices

1. Would you rather live in your home country or live abroad?

2. Would you rather be smart or beautiful / handsome?

3. Would you rather be poor and happy or rich and unhappy?

4. Would you rather marry someone plain with a good personality or someone beautiful without much personality?

5. If war broke out in your country would you rather flee the country or fight?

6. Would you rather be rich or famous?

7. If you had to lose one of your senses(sight, smell, hearing, touch, taste) which would you rather lose?

8. Would you rather take a trip to a new country or get a new TV?

Topic 2 ) Heal Yourself By Harnessing Your Mind

 We tend to think of medicine as being all about pills and potions recommended to us by another person—a doctor.

But science is starting to reveal that for many conditions another ingredient could be critical to the success of these drugs, or perhaps even replace them. That ingredient is nothing more than your own mind.

Here are six ways to raid your built-in medicine cabinet.

1. Better believe it

“I talk to my pills,” says Dan Moerman, an anthropologist at the University of Michigan-Dearborn. “I say, ‘Hey guys, I know you’re going to do a terrific job.’”

That might sound eccentric, but based on what we’ve learned about the placebo effect, there is good reason to think that talking to your pills really can make them do a terrific job.The way we think and feel about medical treatments can dramatically influence how our bodies respond.

Simply believing that a treatment will work may trigger the desired effecteven if the treatment is inert—a sugar pill, say, or a saline injection. For a wide range of conditions, from depression to Parkinson’s, osteoarthritis and multiple sclerosis, it is clear that the placebo response is far from imaginary. Trials have shown measurable changes such as the release of natural painkillers, altered neuronal firing patterns, lowered blood pressure or heart rate and boosted immune response, all depending on the beliefs of the patient.

It has always been assumed that the placebo effect only works if people are conned into believing that they are getting an actual active drug. But now it seems this may not be true. Belief in the placebo effect itself—rather than a particular drug—might be enough to encourage our bodies to heal.

In a recent study, Ted Kaptchuk of Harvard Medical School in Boston and his colleagues gave people with irritable bowel syndrome an inert pill. They told them that the pills were “made of an inert substance, like sugar pills, that have been shown in clinical studies to produce significant improvement in IBS symptoms through mind-body self-healing processes,” which is perfectly true. Despite knowing the pills were inert, on average the volunteers rated their symptoms as moderately improved after taking them, whereas those given no pills said there was only a slight change.

“Everybody thought it wouldn’t happen,” says the study’s co-author Irving Kirsch, a psychologist at the University of Hull. He thinks that the key was giving patients something to believe in. “We didn’t just say ‘here’s a sugar pill.’ We explained to the patients why it should work, in a way that was convincing to them.”

As well as having implications for the medical profession, the study raises the possibility that we could all use the placebo effect to convince ourselves that sucking on a sweet or downing a glass of water, for example, will banish a headache, clear up a skin condition or boost the effectiveness of any drugs that we take. “Our study suggests that might indeed help,” says Kirsch. While Moerman talks to his pills, Kirsch recommends visualizing the desired improvement and telling yourself that something is going to get better.

2. Think positive

“Everything’s going to be fine.” Go on, try to convince yourself, because realism can be bad for your health. Optimists recover better from medical procedures such as coronary bypass surgery, have healthier immune systems and live longer, both in general and when suffering from conditions such as cancer, heart disease and kidney failure.

It is well accepted that negative thoughts and anxiety can make us ill. Stress—the belief that we are at risk—triggers physiological pathways such as the “fight-or-flight” response, mediated by the sympathetic nervous system.These have evolved to protect us from danger, but if switched on long-term they increase the risk of conditions such as diabetes and dementia.

What researchers are now realizing is that positive beliefs don’t just work by quelling stress. They have a positive effect too—feeling safe and secure, or believing things will turn out fine, seems to help the body maintain and repair itself. A recent analysis of various studies concluded that the health benefits of such positive thinking happen independently of the harm caused by negative states such as pessimism or stress, and are roughly comparable in magnitude.

Optimism seems to reduce stress-induced inflammation and levels of stress hormones such as cortisol. It may also reduce susceptibility to disease by dampening sympathetic nervous system activity and stimulating the parasympathetic nervous system. The latter governs what’s called the “rest-and-digest” response—the opposite of fight-or-flight.

Just as helpful as taking a rosy view of the future is having a rosy view of yourself. High “self-enhancers”—people who see themselves in a more positive light than others see them—have lower cardiovascular responses to stress and recover faster, as well as lower baseline cortisol levels.

Some people are just born optimists. But whatever your natural disposition, you can train yourself to think more positively, and it seems that the more stressed or pessimistic you are to begin with, the better it will work.

David Creswell from Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and his colleagues asked students facing exams to write short essays on times when they had displayed qualities that were important to them, such as creativity or independence. The aim was to boost their sense of self-worth. Compared with a control group, students who “self-affirmed” in this way had lower levels of adrenaline and other fight-or-flight hormones in their urine at the time of their exam. The effect was greatest in those who started off most worried about their exam results.

3. Trust people

Your attitude toward other people can have a big effect on your health. Being lonely increases the risk of everything from heart attacks to dementia, depression and death, whereas people who are satisfied with their social lives sleep better, age more slowly and respond better to vaccines. The effect is so strong that curing loneliness is as good for your health as giving up smoking, according to John Cacioppo of the University of Chicago, Illinois, who has spent his career studying the effects of social isolation.

“It’s probably the single most powerful behavioral finding in the world,” agrees Charles Raison of Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia, who studies mind–body interactions. “People who have rich social lives and warm, open relationships don’t get sick and they live longer.” This is partly because people who are lonely often don’t look after themselves well, but Cacioppo says there are direct physiological mechanisms too—related to, but not identical to, the effects of stress.

In 2011, Cacioppo reported that in lonely people, genes involved in cortisol signaling and the inflammatory response were up-regulated, and that immune cells important in fighting bacteria were more active, too. He suggests that our bodies may have evolved so that in situations of perceived social isolation, they trigger branches of the immune system involved in wound healing and bacterial infection. An isolated person would be at greater risk of physical trauma, whereas being in a group might favor the immune responses necessary for fighting viruses, which spread easily between people in close contact.

Crucially, these differences relate most strongly to how lonely people think they are, rather than to the actual size of their social network. That also makes sense from an evolutionary point of view, says Cacioppo, because being among hostile strangers can be just as dangerous as being alone. So ending loneliness is not about spending more time with people. Cacioppo thinks it is all about our attitude to others: lonely people become overly sensitive to social threats and come to see others as potentially dangerous. In a review of previous studies, published in 2010, he found that tackling this attitude reduced loneliness more effectively than giving people more opportunities for interaction, or teaching social skills.

If you feel satisfied with your social life, whether you have one or two close friends or quite a few, there is nothing to worry about. “But if you’re sitting there feeling threatened by others and as if you’re alone in the world, that’s probably a reason to take steps,” Cacioppo says.

4. Meditate

Monks have been meditating on mountaintops for millennia, hoping to gain spiritual enlightenment. Their efforts have probably enhanced their physical health, too.

Trials looking at the effects of meditation have mostly been small, but they have suggested a range of benefits. There is some evidence that meditation boosts the immune response in vaccine recipients and people with cancer, protects against a relapse in major depression, soothes skin conditions and even slows the progression of HIV.

Meditation might even slow the aging process. Telomeres, the protective caps on the ends of chromosomes, get shorter every time a cell divides and so play a role in aging. Clifford Saron of the Center for Mind and Brain at the University of California, Davis, and colleagues showed in 2011 that levels of an enzyme that builds up telomeres were higher in people who attended a threemonth meditation retreat than in a control group.

As with social interaction, meditation probably works largely by influencing stress response pathways. People who meditate have lower cortisol levels, and one study showed they have changes in their amygdala, a brain area involved in fear and the response to threat.

One of the co-authors of Saron’s study, Elissa Epel, a psychiatrist at the University of California, San Francisco, believes that meditation may also boost “pathways of restoration and health enhancement,” perhaps by triggering a release of growth and sex hormones.

If you don’t have time for a three-month retreat, don’t worry. Imaging studies show that meditation can cause structural changes in the brain after as little as 11 hours of training. Epel suggests fitting in short “mini-meditations” throughout the day, taking a few minutes at your desk to focus on your breathing, for example: “Little moments here and there all matter.”

5. Hypnotize yourself

Hypnotherapy has struggled for scientific acceptance ever since Franz Mesmer claimed in the 18th century that he could cure all manner of ills with what he termed “animal magnetism.” “The whole field is plagued by people who don’t feel research is necessary,” says Peter Whorwell of the University of Manchester.

Whorwell has spent much of his professional life building a body of evidence for the use of hypnosis to treat just one condition: irritable bowel syndrome. IBS is considered a “functional” disorder—a rather derogatory term used when a patient suffers symptoms but doctors can’t see anything wrong. Whorwell felt that his patients, some of whom had such severe symptoms they were suicidal, were being let down by the medical profession. “I got into hypnosis because the conventional treatment of these conditions is abysmal.”

Whorwell gives patients a brief tutorial on how the gut functions, then gets them to use visual or tactile sensations—the feeling of warmth, for example—to imagine their bowel working normally. It seems to work—IBS is the only condition for which hypnosis is recommended by the UK’s National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence. Despite this, Whorwell still has trouble convincing doctors to prescribe it. “We’ve produced a lot of incontrovertible research,” he says. “Yet people are still loath to agree to it.”

Part of the problem is that it isn’t clear exactly how hypnosis works. What is clear is that when hypnotized, people can influence parts of their body in novel ways. Whorwell has shown that under hypnosis, some IBS patients can reduce the contractions of their bowel, something not normally under conscious control. Their bowel lining also becomes less sensitive to pain.

Hypnosis probably taps into physiological pathways similar to those involved in the placebo effect, says Kirsch. For one thing, the medical conditions that the two can improve are similar, and both are underpinned by suggestion and expectation—in other words, believing in a particular outcome. The downside is that some people do not respond as strongly to hypnosis as others.

Most clinical trials involving hypnosis are small, largely because of a lack of funding, but they suggest that hypnosis may help pain management, anxiety, depression, sleep disorders, obesity, asthma and skin conditions such as psoriasis and warts. Finding a good hypnotherapist can be tricky, as the profession is not regulated, but hypnotizing yourself seems to work just as well. “Self-hypnosis is the most important part,” says Whorwell.

6. Know your purpose

In a study of 50 people with advanced lung cancer, those judged by their doctors to have high “spiritual faith” responded better to chemotherapy and survived longer. More than 40 percent were still alive after three years, compared with less than 10 percent of those judged to have little faith. Are your hackles rising? You’re not alone. Of all the research into the healing potential of thoughts and beliefs, studies into the effects of religion are the most controversial.

There are thousands of studies purporting to show a link between some aspect of religion—such as attending church or praying—and better health. Religion has been associated with lower rates of cardiovascular disease, stroke, blood pressure and metabolic disorders, better immune functioning, improved outcomes for infections such as HIV and meningitis, and lower risk of developing cancer.

Critics of these studies, such as Richard Sloan of Columbia University Medical Center in New York, point out that many of them don’t adequately tease out other factors. For instance, religious people often have lower-risk lifestyles and churchgoers tend to enjoy strong social support, and seriously ill people are less likely to attend church. Nonetheless, a 2009 analysis of studies in the area concluded, after trying to control for these factors, that “religiosity/spirituality” does have a protective effect, though only in healthy people. The authors warned that there might be a publication bias, though, with researchers failing to publish negative results.

Even if the link between religion and better health is genuine, there is no need to invoke divine intervention to explain it. Some researchers attribute it to the placebo effect—trusting that some deity or other will heal you may be just as effective as belief in a drug or doctor. Others, like Paolo Lissoni of San Gerardo Hospital in Milan, who did the lung-cancer study mentioned above, believe that positive emotions associated with “spirituality” promote beneficial physiological responses.

Yet others think that what really matters is having a sense of purpose in life, whatever it might be. Having an idea of why you are here and what is important increases our sense of control over events, rendering them less stressful. In Saron’s three-month meditation study, the increase in levels of the enzyme that repairs telomeres correlated with an increased sense of control and an increased sense of purpose in life. In fact, Saron argues, this psychological shift may have been more important than the meditation itself.

He points out that the participants were already keen meditators, so the study gave them the chance to spend three months doing something important to them. Spending more time doing what you love, whether it’s gardening or voluntary work, might have a similar effect on health. The big news from the study, Saron says, is “the profound impact of having the opportunity to live your life in a way that you find meaningful.”

 Article source : http://discovermagazine.com

<Questions>

Q1. Do you know what is the 'Placebo effect' ? Can you explain it ?  

Q2. How do you think that the way we think and feel about medical treatments can dramatically influence how our bodies respond. Do you think positive thinking can heal our mind and body system?

Q3. It saids that only visualizing the desired improvement and telling yourself that something is going to get better can makes you improve your body and mental condition. Do you agree with the article?

Q4. Do you know what is the 'Self-Affirmation' ? Do you have your own priority for the value system?

Q5. According to the article, social isolation can decrease the level of immune system and cause various physical degradations. To protect yourself from loneliness do you have special soicial skills to get close to people around you?

Q6. Whenever I've watched the chinese movie, I could see themonks meditating on mountaintops for millennia.However, in real world, meditation itself can give you not only more clear spiritual enlightenment for the world but also enhanced physical health. To take advantage of this we would better have time for meditation. Do you have time for meditation in your daily life? If you have how long is the average time for that?

Q7. According to article, with reminding your goals, we can sustain more goal-oriented attitude and it can help us to sustain our clear vision for our future direction. In this context, what was your goal for 2015 ?