Re: Max and Ruby - Ethan

[Teacher Winget]

The title of this story is "Max and Ruby: Ruby's Gingerbread House."

One day, they decided to make a gingerbread house, so they prepared many ingredients.

Then, they started to make a gingerbread house, but Max used worms to interrupt them.

Their ice sugar icing sugar was not sticky, so they made new icing,
but Max used his toys to interrupt them again.

Max used a toy plane to put a worm into their icing sugar.
Luckily, it was helpful, and they showed their gingerbread house to thier their grandma.

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Score: B+

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Tips 

• “ice sugar”는 틀린 표현이에요. → icing sugar

• “saw their gingerbread house to grandma”는 어색해요. → showed it to grandma로 바꾸면 자연스러워요.

• “thier”는 철자 실수예요. → their

• “gingerbread”는 집을 만들고 있는 내용이니까 gingerbread house라고 써야 해요.

• Max가 도운 장면을 조금 더 자세히 써보면 이야기가 더 생생해져요.

• 할머니가 기뻐한 장면을 한 문장 추가하면 마무리가 좋아져요.