23강

[김창원요한]

  예수 그리스도의 족보

가. 제7계단 애통

요한 클리마쿠스, 『거룩한 등정의 사다리』, 은성출판사 최대형번역

1. 하느님께 합당한 애통은 영혼의 우울증으로 자신이 갈망하는 것을 열정적으로 추구하다가 얻지 못할 때 부지런히 그것을 추적하며 슬퍼하면서 그 뒤를 따르는 영혼의 성질입니다. 애통은 모든 속박과 무거운 짐을 벗어버리고 거룩한 슬픔에 의해서 마음을 지키는 영혼 안에서 활동하는 황금 박차입니다.

2. 양심의 가책은 영원한 양심의 고통과 침묵으로 죄를 고백함으로써 마음의 불을 식게 만드는 것입니다. 사람은 죄 고백 때문에 빵을 먹는 일을 망각하므로 죄고백은 본성의 망각입니다. (시편102.5)

3. 회개는 모든 피조물의 위로를 기꺼이 부인하는 것입니다.

4. 복된 애통에 있어서 어느 정도 진보하는 사람은 말이 없고 절제합니다. 진정으로 진보한 사람들은 성내지 않고 불평을 품지 않습니다. 완전한 사람들은 겸손하며 수치를 갈망하며 본의 아닌 고난을 기다리며 죄인들을 단죄하지 않고 엄청나게 동정심이 많습니다. 첫째 부류의 사람들은 겨우 조건에 맞는 사람들이며 둘째 부류의 사람들은 칭찬받을 만합니다. 그러나 고난과 수치를 갈망하는 사람들은 확실히 복된 사람들입니다. 그들은 자신을 물리게 할 수 없는 음식을 배불리 먹을 것입니다.

5. 만일 당신에게 애통이 주어진다면, 힘을 다해 그것을 굳게 붙드십시오. 그것은 제대로 확보하지 않으면 쉽게 잃어버릴 수 있습니다. 밀랍이 불 가까이에 있으면 녹듯이, 비탄도 소음·세상의 염려·사치 등에 의해서 특히 천박함과 수다에 의해서 쉽게 사라집니다.

5. If you possess the gift of mourning, hold on to it with all your might. For it is easily lost when it is not firmly established. And just as wax melts in the presence of fire, so it is easily dissolved by noise and bodily cares, and by luxury, and especially by talkativeness and levity.

6. 세례를 받은 후에 흘리는 눈물은 세례 자체보다 위대합니다. 세례는 이전에 우리 안에 있던 악들을 씻어내며, 세례 후에 범한 죄들은 눈물에 의해 씻겨나갑니다. 우리는 어렸을 때 받은 세례를 완전히 더럽혔지만, 눈물로 그것을 다시 깨끗하게 합니다. 만일 인간을 사랑하시는 하느님께서 우리에게 눈물을 주시지 않았다면, 구원 받는 사람은 정말 찾기 어려울 정도로 드물 것입니다.

6. Greater than baptism itself is the fountain of tears after baptism, even though it is somewhat audacious to say so. For baptism is the washing away of evils that were in us before, but sins committed after baptism are washed away by tears. As baptism is received in infancy, we have all defiled it, but we cleanse it anew with tears. And if God in His love for mankind had not given us tears, few indeed and hard to find would be those in a state of grace.2 (Lit. ‘who are being saved’.)

7. 신음과 비애는 주님께 소리치며, 떨며 흘리는 눈물은 우리를 위해 중재해주며, 지극히 거룩한 사랑으로 흘리는 눈물은 우리의 기도가 받아들여졌다는 것을 보여줍니다.

7. Groanings and sorrows cry to the Lord. Tears shed from fear intercede for us; but tears of all-holy love show us that our prayer has been accepted.

8. 겸손만큼 애통에 어울리는 것은 없으며, 웃음만큼 애통과 반대되는 것도 없습니다.

8. If nothing goes so well with humility as mourning, certainly nothing is so opposed to it as laughter.

9. 거룩한 양심의 가책에서 나오는 복되고 즐거운 슬픔을 굳게 붙드십시오. 그리고 그것을 얻기 위해서 끊임없이 노력하십시오. 그리하면 마침내 그것은 우리를 세상이 주는 것들 너머로 들어 올려 그리스도께 바치는 깨끗한 제물로 만들어줄 것입니다.

9. Keep a firm hold of the blessed joy-grief of holy compunction, and do not stop working at it until it raises you high above the things of this world and presents you pure to Christ.

10. 어두운 불의 심연, 그것의 잔인한 앞잡이들, 무자비하고 냉혹한 심판관, 지하에서 타오르는 불길의 끝없는 혼돈, 하계의 방들과 입을 벌리고 심연으로 내려가는 좁은 내리막길 등의 영상을 쉬지 말고 상상하며 조사하십시오. 그렇게 하면 엄청난 공포에 의해서, 썩지 않을 순결에 복종함에 의해서 우리 영혼 안에 있는 욕정이 억제될 것이며, 모든 불을 너머 비추어주는 비물질적인 빛을 받게 될 것입니다.

10. Do not cease to picture and scrutinize the dark abyss of eternal fire, and the merciless servants, the unsympathetic and in exorable Judge, the bottomless pit of subterranean flame, the narrow descents to the awful underground chambers and yawning gulfs, and all such things, so that the sensuality in our soul may be checked by great terror and give place to incorruptible chastity, and itself receive the shining of the immaterial light which radiates beyond any fire.

11. 기도하고 탄원할 때는 재판관 앞에 선 죄수처럼 두려워 떠십시오. 당신이 바라보는 방법과 마음의 성향은 의로우신 재판관의 분노를 극복할 것입니다. 그분은 슬픔의 짐을 지고 서서 지치지 않으시는 분을 귀찮게 하는 과부같은 영혼을 외면하지 않으실 것입니다(cf. 루카18:5)

11. During prayer and supplication stand with trembling like a convict standing before a judge, so that both by your outward appearance as well as by your inner disposition you may extinguish the wrath of the just Judge; for He will not despise a widow soul standing before Him burdened with sorrow and wearying the Unwearying One.3(루까18 5)

12. 영적 눈물의 은사를 가진 사람은 어디에서든지 애통할 수 있습니다. 그러나 만일 그것이 순전히 외적인 겉치레에 불과하다면, 장소와 수단에 대한 그의 논의는 끝이 없을 것입니다. 보물은 시장에 진열된 때보다 숨겨질 때 더 안전합니다. 이것을 깊이 생각하고 당신 자신에게 적용하십시오.

12. He who has obtained heartfelt tears will find any place convenient for mourning. But he whose weeping is only outward show will spend endless time discussing places and manners. Just as hidden treasure is safer from robbery than that exposed in the market, so let us apply this to what we have just said.

13. 죽은 자를 매장하는 자리에서는 그의 죽음을 애도하다가도 자리를 떠나서는 술을 마시는 사람들을 본받지 마십시오. 그보다는 광산에서 매 시간 감시인으로부터 매질을 당하는 죄수들처럼 되십시오.

13. Do not be like those who in burying their dead first lament over them and then get drunk for their sake. But be like the prisoners in the mines who are flogged every hour by the gaolers.

14. 애통한 후에 상류생활과 웃음을 즐기는 사람은 음란의 개에게 빵을 던져주는 사람과 흡사합니다. 그 사람은 개를 쫓아내는 것처럼 보이지만, 실제로는 개가 자기 곁에 머무는 것을 장려하고 있습니다.

14. He who sometimes mourns and sometimes indulges in luxury and laughter is like one who stones the dog of sensuality with bread. In appearance he is driving it away, but in fact he is encouraging it to be constantly with him.

15. 묵상할 때는 자신을 드러내지 마십시오. 당신의 마음 속으로 물러가며, 도둑이 개를 두려워하듯이 마귀들은 묵상을 두려워한다는 것을 기억하십시오.

15. Be concentrated without self-display, withdrawn into your heart. For the demons fear concentration as thieves fear dogs.

16. 우리는 혼인잔치에 초대받아 이곳에 온 것이 아닙니다. 우리는 자신을 위해 애통하라는 부름을 받았습니다.

16. It is not to a wedding banquet that we have been called here—certainly not—but He who has called us has called us here to mourn for ourselves.

17. 맹목적인 눈물은 비이성적인 존재들에게만 어울리지만, 개중에는 울면서 모든 생각을 억누르려고 애쓰는 사람들이 있습니다. 눈물은 실제로 생각의 산물이며, 생각의 근원은 이성적인 정신입니다.

17. When they weep, some force themselves unseasonably to think of nothing at all during this blessed time, not realizing that tears without thought are proper only to an irrational nature and not to a rational one. Tears are the product of thought, and the father of thought is a rational mind.

18. 당신이 침대에 누워있는 것을 무덤에 누워있는 것의 상징으로 여기십시오. 그리하면 지나치게 많이 잠을 자지 않을 것입니다. 식탁에서 음식을 먹을 때는 구더기들이 득실거리는 음식을 기억하십시오. 그리하면 사치하게 살지 않을 것입니다. 물을 마실 때는 불길의 갈증을 기억하십시오. 그리하면 당신은 분명히 자신의 본성을 거역할 것입니다.

18. Let your reclining in bed be for you an image of your declining into your grave—and you will sleep less. Let your refreshment at table be for you a reminder of the grim table of those worms—and you will be less luxurious. And in drinking water, do not forget the thirst of that flame—and you will certainly refuse your nature all it wants.

19. 상급자가 우리를 책망하거나 견책하거나 벌할 때는 영원한 심판관의 두려운 선고를 잊지 마십시오. 그리하면 양쪽에 날이 선 칼인 온유함과 인내로써 우리 안에 뿌려질 비이성적인 슬픔과 괴로움을 죽일 수 있을 것입니다.

19. When we suffer from the Superior honourable dishonour, scolding or punishment, let us remember the fearful sentence of the Judge, and we shall kill with meekness and patience, as with a two-edgedsword, the irrational sorrow and bitterness which will certainly be sown in us.

20. 욥은 “(때가 지남에 따라) 바다에서 물이 빠져나가고”(욥 14:11)라고 말합니다. 시간과 인내는 우리 안에서 점진적으로 획득되며 완전해집니다.

20. The sea wastes with time, as Job says.1 And with time and patience the things of which we have spoken are gradually acquired and perfected in us.

   나. compunction 동방교부들의 글에서 얻은 gleanings

A brother questioned Abba Poemen saying, "Give me a word." And he said to him, "The fathers put compunction as the beginning of every action." The brother said again, "Give me another word." The old man replied, "As far as you can, do some manual work so as to be able to give alms, for it is written that alms and faith purify from sin." The brother said, "What is faith?" The old man said, "Faith is to live humbly and to give alms." The Desert Fathers

Do you see what grief arises in a humble soul and the consolation that ensues: Indeed, self-reproach on its own, when lying for a protracted time upon the soul's thoughts like some intellectual weight, crushes and presses and squeezes out the saving wine that gladdens the heart of man (Cf.. Ps. 104:15), that is to say, our inner self. This wine is compunction. Together with grief compunction crushes the passions and, having freed the soul from the weight that oppresses it, fills it with blessed joy. That is the reason why Christ says, 'Blessed are those who grieve, for they will be consoled' (Mt. 5:4). St. Gregory Palamas, Philokalia, Vol. 4

on compunction 통회의 기도문 동방교회

Mindful of the unseemly sins I have committed, I flee to Thy compassions, imitating the publican, the harlot who wept, and the prodigal son; wherefore, I fall down before Thee O Merciful One, and say: before Thou condemnest me,  O God have pity and mercy upon me!

It is a Good Thing to Ask for Tears of Compunction

“With fear and trembling work out your salvation.” (Phil. 2; 12).

In our last reflection, we addressed what it means to have an eternal perspective of life, namely, to live for our last end. We must work out our salvation every day, and at no waking moment can we stop laboring at this crucial task.

But what in particular do we think about when considering the salvation of our soul? It would seem that if we really penetrated the reality that we can lose our souls, we would tremble and quake. This reality is what St. Paul is admonishing us about in his Epistle to the Philippians. We simply cannot take our salvation for granted.

We speak of fear and trembling. One can speak of two kinds of fear—servile fear and filial fear. Servile fear is the fear of being punished for an evil we’ve done, i.e., as a slave’s fear of his master. Filial fear is the fear a son has towards his father because the son does not want to displease his father. Filial fear is based on love.

As Catholics we are taught from our childhood to fear hell as a place of punishment and torment. However, God expects us to have filial fear of Him and that we will want to please Him always.

We know that we owe God everything, and that we owe Him gratitude for everything He has done for us. We further know that we do not fear God’s Justice enough and we do not love God as we ought. For example, St. John Chrysostom when referring to the sins of rash judgment, anger, and detraction as being such general vices among men, says, “What hopes of salvation remain for the generality of mankind, who commit without reflection, some or other of these crimes, one of which is enough to damn a soul?”[1]

This quote gives one pause and invokes fear. What hope do we have of salvation when we are so guilty of so many crimes against Our Dear Lord? Naturally, compunction should seize our hearts. Compungere, which means the sting of conscience, should be what we want in order to weep for our sins. We should consider these words of Our Lord, “Many sins are forgiven her, because she has loved much,” which refer to St. Mary Magdalene who was washing His feet with her tears [St. Luke 7; 47]. This quote, coupled with St. Peter’s words, “Charity covereth a multitude of sins,” [1st St. Peter 4:8] should make us want to weep for our sins in order to console Our Lord and Our Lady for the many sins and insults we have committed against them.

Especially in these times of the great apostasy and chastisement, we should want to pray and weep for the offenses that are continually being hurled against Our Lord and Our Lady. We know that we deserve the punishments of a chastisement for our sins. Our Lord and Our Lady have told us of the necessity of penance. Our Lady of Fatima insisted on us praying the Rosary and performing sacrifices for the conversion of sinners and for peace to be obtained through the Consecration of Russia to her Immaculate Heart.

Our Lady’s remedy is not unlike what St. John Chrysostom recommended during his times. As Alban Butler summarizes St. John Chrysostom’s books On Compunction, he notes how St. John prescribes a life of mortification and penance as an essential condition for maintaining a spirit of compunction. Butler refers to St. John Chrysostom’s analogy that water and fire are not more contrary to each other than a life of softness and delights is opposed to compunction. In the same vein, Butler relates how Chrysostom states that a love of pleasure renders the soul heavy and altogether earthly; but compunction gives the soul wings, by which she raises herself above all created things. St. John Chrysostom mentions, too, how Our Lord blesses those who mourn for their sins.

With all of the above in mind, let us not forget to turn to Mary, our Mother of Sorrows, and ask her to teach us about the malice of sin and how much pain we have caused her Divine Son. She, better than all mankind put together, understands the massive weight of sin that her Beloved Son bore. Her Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart was pierced with a sword of sorrow. She was a first-hand witness of the sufferings of Our Lord. This is why tradition teaches that she is the Co-Redemptrix and the Queen of Martyrs because she stood at the Foot of the Cross offering herself in union with her Divine Son.

So, begging Our Lord through Our Lady for the gift of tears of compunction, we pray that our hearts can melt. If we ponder the Passion of Our Lord, the innocence of Our Lady, and how we have both afflicted Our Lord and Our Lady, perhaps our cheeks would be moistened as we say the following:

   다. 독수자 이사야 지성을 지킴에 대하여

26. At the time of prayer, we should expel from our heart the provocation of each evil thought, rebutting it in a spirit of devotion so that we do not prove to be speaking to God with our lips, while pondering wicked thoughts in our heart. God will not accept from the hesychast a prayer that is turbid and careless, for everywhere Scripture tells us to guard the soul's organs of perception. If a monk submits his will to the law of God, then his intellect will govern in accordance with this law all that is subordinate to itself. It will direct as it should all the soul's impulses, especially its incensive power and desire, for these are subordinate to it.

We have practiced virtue and done what is right, turning our desire towards God and His will, and directing our incensive power, or wrath, against the devil and sin. What then do we still lack? Inward meditation.

기도할 때에는, 마음에서 악한 생각의 도발을 몰아내야 합니다. 그래야만 마음으로는 악한 생각을 하면서 입으로만 하느님께 기도하지 않게 됩니다. 하느님은 부주의하고 어지러운 기도는 받지 않으실 것입니다. 그렇게 때문에 성경에서는 영혼의 감각 기관들을 지키라고 말합니다. 만일 수도자가 자기의 뜻을 하느님의 법에 복종시킨다면, 그의 지성은 자기에게 종속된 모든 것을 이 법에 따라 다스릴 것입니다. 그것은 영혼의 모든 충동들, 특히 격분하는 힘과 갈망을 지도할 것입니다.

우리는 자신의 갈망을 하느님과 그의 뜻을 향하게 하며, 격분하는 힘이나 진노는 죄와 마귀를 향하게 하면서, 덕을 실천하고 의로운 일을 행해왔습니다. 아직 우리에게 부족한 것이 있다면, 그것은 내적인 묵상입니다.

27. If some shameful thought is sown in your heart as you are sitting in your cell, watch out. Resist the evil, so that it does not gain control over you. Make every effort to call God to mind, for He is looking at you, and whatever you are thinking in your heart is plainly visible to Him. Say to your soul: 'If you are afraid of sinners like yourself seeing your sins, how much more should you be afraid of God who notes everything? 'As a result of this warning the fear of God will be revealed in your soul, and if you cleave to Him you will not be shaken by the passions; for it is written: 'They that trust in the Lord shall be as Mount Zion; he that dwells in Jerusalem shall never be shaken' (Ps.125:1. LXX).Whatever you are doing, remember that God sees all your thoughts, and then you will never sin. To Him be glory through all the ages. Amen.

만일 독방에 앉아 있을 때에 마음 속에 부끄러운 생각의 씨앗이 뿌려진다면, 경계하고 그것에 저항하십시오. 그렇게 하면 그것이 당신을 지배하지 못할 것입니다. 전력을 다해 하느님을 기억하려고 노력하십시오. 하느님은 당신을 보고 계시며, 당신의 마음에 품은 모든 생각을 훤히 보고 계십니다. 당신의 영혼에게 “죄인인 네가 네 죄를 보는 것이 두렵다면, 모든 것을 아시는 하느님을 얼마나 두려워해야 하겠느냐?”고 말하십시오. 이렇게 경고하면, 하느님에 대한 두려움이 영혼 안에 나타날 것입니다. 만일 당신이 하느님께 매달린다면, 정념에 의해 흔들리지 않을 것입니다. 성경은 “주님을 신뢰하는 이들은 시온 산 같아 흔들리지 아니하고 영원히 서 있으리라”라고 말합니다(시편 125,1). 무슨 일을 하든지 하느님께서 당신의 모든 생각을 보고 계시다는 것을 기억하십시오. 그러면 결코 범죄하지 않을 것입니다. 세세토록 하느님께 영광을 돌릴지어다. 아멘.