Romance
by Bill and Lynne Hybels
Romance was never my strong suit. I proposed /to Lynne in her parents’ garage; I took my Harley‐Davidson /on our honeymoon;
I thought () our best anniversary was the one () we spent watching a video of Rocky III. I had to learn the gentle art of romance.
* my strong suit; something that a person does well
For starters, I figured () it meant flowers. Beyond that, I didn’t have a clue, but I knew () I could get the flower job done.
As confirmation from God //that I was moving in the right direction, who do you think set up
shop right out of the trunk of his ’58 DeSoto /at the corner /opposite
our church? The flower man! So, quite regularly, on my way home from
work or meetings, I would pull over /to the side of the road, buy a bunch of roses or carnations /from the flower man, and take them /home /to Lynne.
What a husband! I thought /as I handed over my three bucks.
* confirmation //that I was moving in the right direction
Yet when I proudly presented the flowers to Lynne, fully expecting her to hire the Marine Corps Band /to play “Hail to the Chief,” her response was lukewarm.
“Gee, thanks,” she said. “Where’d you get these?”
“Where else? My buddy, the flower man—you know, the guy with the ’58 DeSoto at Barrington and Algonquin. I’m a volume buyer now. I stop there so often that he gives me a buck off, and if they’re a little wilted, he gives me two bucks off.
I figure () they’ll perk up /when you put them in water.”
“Of course,” she said.
* perk up: to become more lively or cheerful or to make (someone) more lively or cheerful , : to make (something) fresher
I kept it up consistently /for quite a while—until Lynne’s lack of enthusiasm for the gift drained my enthusiasm.
Some time later, on our regularly scheduled date night, Lynne and I decided to clear the air of anything //that might be bothering either of us. We do that /now and then. We sat down /in a cheap restaurant (not only am I unromantic, I’m also Dutch) and asked, “What’s going on? Is there anything () we need to talk about? Is there anything /amiss in our relationship?”
On that particular evening, Lynne took out her list and started checking off the items.
“Ooooh, you’re right /on that one. Eeeh, that one, too. Yep. Guilty as charged. Guilty. Guilty. You’re right again.”
She ended her list, and I was in a pile. “I really am sorry,” I said, “but trust me. I’m going to do better.” “Now, what about you?” she asked. I really didn’t have any complaints, but after hearing her list, I thought () I should say something. I scrambled. “Well, I do have one little problem. Have you noticed the absence of the flowers lately?” “No,” she said. “I haven’t really paid attention.” How could she say that? “We have a problem,” I said. “I can’t figure it out. Hundreds of thousands of husbands pass /by that corner. Do they stop for flowers? No. Do I stop? Yes! What gives? What is your problem?”
* pass by vs pass
구동사 pass by: to happen without being noticed or acted upon by (someone);
Don't let this opportunity pass (you) by!
자동사 Hundreds of thousands of husbands pass /by that corner.
Hundreds of thousands of husbands pass /by that corner.
Her answer made
my head spin. She looked me straight in the eyes and said quietly, “The
truth is, Bill, I’m not impressed /when you give me half‐dead flowers
//that come out of the trunk of a ’58 DeSoto that you were lucky enough
to run across on your way home from work. The flowers are cheap, and the
effort is minimal. The way I see it, you’re not investing enough time or energy /to warrant a wholehearted response from me. You’re not thinking /about what would make me happy; you’re just doing [what’s convenient for you].”
“Okay,
let’s get this straight,” I said. “You would be happier if I got up
from my desk in the middle of my busy day, threw my study schedule to
the wind, walked all the way across the parking lot, got in my car, and
made a special trip to Barrington, where I’d have to pay quadruple the
price just because it said Barrington on the bag? And you wouldn’t mind
if [the extra time it took] crimped my workout schedule at the Y…. And
you wouldn’t mind if I came home late because of all the extra running
around () I would have to do /to get you expensive flowers? Is that what
you’re telling me? That would make you happy?”
Without
batting an eyelash, Lynne said, “Yes, that would make me happy.” I
couldn’t believe it! “What are you talking about? What you’re ask‐ing
for is impractical, uneconomical, and an inefficient use of time.”
“That’s a great definition of romance, Bill. You’re learning!”
Looking ahead…
Whether
we’ve been with our partner for one year or forty, we’re all still
trying to master the definition—and execution—of romance in our
marriages. As Bill Hybels learned, there’s far more to romantic love
than meets the eye. What his wife needed was a heart‐to‐heart and
soul‐to‐soul relationship. This kind of relationship seems natural to
women, but sometimes men have a hard time figuring it out.
So
just what is romance? We’ll talk about that in the week ahead. For
tonight, spend a few minutes telling each other what romance means to
you. You might hear something important that you’ve missed before.
- James C Dobson