PART I // chapter 2-6

[모나리자]

그녀가 존중받지 못한 대우를 받았다는 구실로—그때 이후로 제 딸 소피아 세묘노브나는 노란색 티켓을 받아야 했고, 그 때문에 그녀는 우리와 함께 살 수 없게 되었습니다.

우리 집주인 아말리아 표도로브나는 그것을 듣지 않으려 했고(그녀는 전에 다리야 프란초브나를 지지했지만) 레베지아트니코프 씨도 마찬가지였습니다... 음... 그와 카테리나 이바노브나 사이의 모든 문제는 소냐 때문이었습니다.

처음에는 그가 직접 소냐와 화해하려고 했지만 갑자기 그는 자신의 존엄성을 드러냈습니다. '어떻게,' 그는 말했습니다. '저 같은 고학력 남자가 저런 여자와 같은 방에서 살 수 있나요?' 그리고 카테리나 이바노브나는 그것을 그냥 두지 않았고, 그녀를 위해 일어섰습니다... 그래서 일이 그렇게 되었습니다.

그리고 소냐는 지금 주로 어두워진 후에 우리에게 옵니다. 그녀는 카테리나 이바노브나를 위로하고 그녀가 할 수 있는 모든 것을 제공합니다.... 그녀는 재단사인 카페르나우모프의 방을 가지고 있고, 그들과 함께 숙박합니다. 카페르나우모프는 구개열이 있는 절름발이이고 그의 수많은 가족 모두도 구개열이 있습니다. 그리고 그의 아내도 구개열이 있습니다.

그들은 모두 한 방에서 살지만, 소냐는 칸막이가 있는 자신의 방을 가지고 있습니다.... 음... 네... 매우 가난한 사람들이고 모두 구개열이 있습니다... 네. 그러고 나서 아침에 일어나서 누더기를 걸치고, 손을 하늘로 들어 올리고 이반 아파나시비치 각하에게로 떠났습니다.

이반 아파나시비치 각하, 당신은 그를 알고 있습니까? 아니요? 글쎄요, 그럼 당신은 신의 사람을 모릅니다. 그는 밀랍입니다... 주님의 얼굴 앞에서 밀랍입니다. 밀랍이 녹듯이요!... 그는 내 이야기를 듣고 눈이 어두워졌습니다. ‘마르멜라도프, 당신은 이미 내 기대를 속였잖아...

내가 다시 한 번 당신을 내 책임으로 데려갈게’—그게 그가 한 말이었다. ‘기억해’ 그가 말했다. ‘이제 가도 돼.’ 나는 그의 발치에 있는 먼지에 키스했다—그저 생각으로만. 사실 그는 내가 정치가이고 현대 정치와 계몽 사상을 가진 사람이어서 그렇게 하는 것을 허락하지 않았을 테니까.

나는 집으로 돌아갔고, 내가 다시 군에 복무하게 되었고 봉급을 받게 될 거라고 말했을 때, 세상에, 얼마나 대단한 일인가!...” 마르멜라도프는 다시 격정적으로 흥분해서 멈췄다. 그 순간 거리에서 이미 취한 흥겨운 무리가 들어왔고, 대여한 콘서티나와 일곱 살 아이가 부르는 “햄릿”의 갈라진 휘파람 소리가 입구에서 들렸다.

방은 소음으로 가득 찼다. 선술집 주인과 소년들은 새로 온 사람들을 돌보느라 바빴다. 마르멜라도프는 새로 온 사람들에게는 전혀 신경 쓰지 않고 이야기를 계속했다. 그는 지금쯤은 극도로 약해 보였지만, 점점 더 취하면서 점점 더 수다스러워졌습니다. 최근에 상황을 해결한 것에 대한 기억이 그를 되살리는 듯했고, 그의 얼굴에 일종의 광채가 긍정적으로 반영되었습니다. 라스콜니코프는 주의 깊게 경청했습니다.

“그건 5주 전 일이었습니다, 선생님. 네... 카테리나 이바노브나와 소냐가 그 이야기를 듣자마자, 자비를 베푸소서, 마치 천국에 발을 디딘 것 같았습니다. 예전에는: 짐승처럼 거짓말을 해도 되고, 학대만 해도 됩니다. 지금은 발끝으로 걸으며 아이들을 조용히 시켰습니다.

‘세묜 자하로비치는 사무실에서 일하느라 지쳐서 쉬고 있어요, 쉿!’ 그들은 내가 출근하기 전에 커피를 만들어 주고, 나를 위해 크림을 끓였습니다! 그들은 나를 위해 진짜 크림을 사기 시작했습니다, 들리시나요? 그리고 어떻게 해서 괜찮은 옷을 살 돈을 마련했는지—11루블, 50코펙, 짐작할 수 없습니다. 부츠, 면 셔츠 앞부분—아주 훌륭하고, 유니폼, 그들은 모두 훌륭하게 11루블 반에 준비했습니다.

첫날 아침 사무실에서 돌아왔을 때 카테리나 이바노브나가 저녁으로 두 가지 요리를 준비한 것을 보았습니다. 수프와 양파를 넣은 소금 고기—그때까지 우리는 꿈에도 생각지 못했던 일이죠.

on the pretext that she had been treated with want of respect—since then my daughter Sofya Semyonovna has been forced to take a yellow ticket, and owing to that she is unable to go on living with us.

For our landlady, Amalia Fyodorovna would not hear of it (though she had backed up Darya Frantsovna before) and Mr. Lebeziatnikov too... hm.... All the trouble between him and Katerina Ivanovna was on Sonia’s account.

At first he was for making up to Sonia himself and then all of a sudden he stood on his dignity: ‘how,’ said he, ‘can a highly educated man like me live in the same rooms with a girl like that?’ And Katerina Ivanovna would not let it pass, she stood up for her... and so that’s how it happened.

And Sonia comes to us now, mostly after dark; she comforts Katerina Ivanovna and gives her all she can.... She has a room at the Kapernaumovs’ the tailors, she lodges with them; Kapernaumov is a lame man with a cleft palate and all of his numerous family have cleft palates too. And his wife, too, has a cleft palate.

They all live in one room, but Sonia has her own, partitioned off.... Hm... yes... very poor people and all with cleft palates... yes. Then I got up in the morning, and put on my rags, lifted up my hands to heaven and set off to his excellency Ivan Afanasyvitch.

His excellency Ivan Afanasyvitch, do you know him? No? Well, then, it’s a man of God you don’t know. He is wax... wax before the face of the Lord; even as wax melteth!... His eyes were dim when he heard my story. ‘Marmeladov, once already you have deceived my expectations...

I’ll take you once more on my own responsibility’—that’s what he said, ‘remember,’ he said, ‘and now you can go.’ I kissed the dust at his feet—in thought only, for in reality he would not have allowed me to do it, being a statesman and a man of modern political and enlightened ideas.

I returned home, and when I announced that I’d been taken back into the service and should receive a salary, heavens, what a to-do there was!...” Marmeladov stopped again in violent excitement. At that moment a whole party of revellers already drunk came in from the street, and the sounds of a hired concertina and the cracked piping voice of a child of seven singing “The Hamlet” were heard in the entry.

The room was filled with noise. The tavern-keeper and the boys were busy with the new-comers. Marmeladov paying no attention to the new arrivals continued his story. He appeared by now to be extremely weak, but as he became more and more drunk, he became more and more talkative. The recollection of his recent success in getting the situation seemed to revive him, and was positively reflected in a sort of radiance on his face. Raskolnikov listened attentively.

“That was five weeks ago, sir. Yes.... As soon as Katerina Ivanovna and Sonia heard of it, mercy on us, it was as though I stepped into the kingdom of Heaven. It used to be: you can lie like a beast, nothing but abuse. Now they were walking on tiptoe, hushing the children.

‘Semyon Zaharovitch is tired with his work at the office, he is resting, shh!’ They made me coffee before I went to work and boiled cream for me! They began to get real cream for me, do you hear that? And how they managed to get together the money for a decent outfit—eleven roubles, fifty copecks, I can’t guess. Boots, cotton shirt-fronts—most magnificent, a uniform, they got up all in splendid style, for eleven roubles and a half.

The first morning I came back from the office I found Katerina Ivanovna had cooked two courses for dinner—soup and salt meat with horse radish—which we had never dreamed of till then.