Letters from Frances Longfellow //Regent’s Park 1841년 6월 16일

[모나리자]

내 사랑하는 사람아, 내가 당신의 두 통의 소중한 편지를 얼마나 기쁘게 받아들였는지 말할 필요가 없겠지. 특히 첫 번째 편지는 우리의 불안이나 걱정을 달래주었고, 늦은 브리타니아(나는 당신의 동생 에드워드가 거기에 있을 것이라고 생각했지만)에 대한 걱정과 대통령의 운명 이후로 증기에 대한 믿음이 다소 훼손되었어.

당신에게 편지를 쓰는 것은 내 양심에 크게 어긋나고, 나는 당신이 내 편지를 직접 읽는 것을 금지하기로 거의 결심했어. 나는 반드시 그래야 하니까, 그리고 '이 순교의 시대'에 걸맞은 관대한 마음으로, 당신은 모든 패킷으로 나에게 편지를 써. 하느님은 내가 당신의 소중한 눈의 안녕을 보장하기 위해 이 기쁨보다 훨씬 더 많은 것을 포기할 것이라는 것을 알고 계실 거야. 그리고 내가 이전에 쓴 쓸데없이 긴 글을 생각하면 후회가 가슴을 움켜쥐어.

당신이 '옛날의 처녀'에서 매우 유쾌한 여행 동반자들과 함께 즐거운 시간을 보내는 모습을 떠올리니 기쁘고, 좋은 동반자와 흥미로운 여행이 미스 세지윅이 당신에게 '꼭 필요한 것'이라고 부를 만한 것이 되었을 때, 그들이 움직이게 한 것은 '특별한 섭리'였을 것이라고 확신합니다.

자연의 녹색 글자는 인쇄소의 악마의 검은색 글자와는 매우 다르며, 나는 당신이 겨울 문학 캠페인을 위해 준비된 채로 돌아올 것으로 기대합니다. 며칠 후면 우리는 런던과 그 죽어가는 계절에 작별을 고합니다. 그 시들어가는 꽃은 이제 말 뒤로 보이며, 더 건강한 분위기로 달려가 자연의 영원한 신선함과 꽃의 비밀을 배우려고 합니다. 그녀의 튼튼한 꽃은 여기에서 온실의 높은 지위의 아가씨들을 부끄럽게 합니다.

리젠트 스트리트의 차량 붐비는 모습은 크게 줄어들지 않은 듯하지만, [p. 2] 며칠 후에 의회가 해산되면서 전반적으로 흩어질 것입니다. 그레이 씨는 호텔에서 아일랜드 주교가 딸과 트렁크를 얼마든지 가지고 대륙으로 출발하는 아일랜드 이야기를 들려주었는데, (제가 말하는 트렁크) 아일랜드 하인을 통해 증기선 부두로 보냈고, 그곳에서 그는 헛되이 그들의 도착을 기다렸다가 마침내 뱃삯을 지불하고, 진정한 아일랜드인의 무관심으로 '용감한 벨기에인'의 자비에 맡기고 배를 타기로 했습니다. 마부의 카펫 가방만 가지고 말입니다!

하인과 트렁크도 목적지를 전혀 알지 못했기 때문에 시간이 얼마나 흐르고 어느 정도 기회가 되면 각자의 주인을 다시 만날 수 있을지가 궁금한 문제입니다. 불쌍한 패디는 아마도 증기선은 어느 것이나 똑같이 좋고, 그의 훌륭한 주인은 대륙과 옛 아일랜드에서 모두 잘 알려져 있을 것이라고 추측했을 것입니다.

메리는 마차 바퀴 소리와 마을 분위기에서 벗어나고 싶어하지만, 로널드의 출생지이자 이쪽에서 그녀가 가진 유일한 집이었던 이 예쁜 집을 떠나는 것에 대해 우울함을 느낍니다.

다시 표류하고 있습니다. 마침내 정박할 곳은 하늘만이 알고 있고, 그것이 우리에게 그 선견지명을 엿보게 해 주었으면 합니다! 저는 우리 예배당 뒤에 있는 이 아름다운 회랑 정원을 사랑해야 합니다. 저는 매일 당신을 생각하며 거닐고, 아름답게 칠해진 창문이 있는 예배당 자체(이 끔찍한 서예를 직접 읽지 마세요. 그러면 제가 그만둘 겁니다) 잘 훈련된 합창단원 소년들과 예쁜 참나무 의자가 있어서 가장 어리석은 설교자에도 불구하고 그곳에서 기도를 하도록 유혹합니다. 담쟁이덩굴과 고딕 양식이 있는 이 조용한 안뜰, 아이들과 양과 데이지가 있는 공원, 그리고 메리가 런던에 살아야 한다면, 저는 이곳이 그녀의 영원한 거주지라고 믿고 싶습니다.

우리는 Woolwich Common에서 일주일을 보내며 그녀가 더 긴 여행을 할 만큼 충분한 힘을 얻을 수 있을지 모르지만, 그녀가 많은 여행을 할 수 있을지는 의심스럽습니다. 그녀는 슬프게도 현재 [삭제됨: 힘] 에너지가 부족하고, 예전처럼 되려면 몸과 마음의 완전한 휴식이 필요합니다.

[3쪽] 지금까지 그녀와 함께 있는 동안 즐거움보다 고통이 더 많았지만, 영국인으로서는 할 수 없는 그녀의 체질에 대한 미국인의 동정심으로 그녀의 피로를 많이 덜어주고 싶습니다. 우리는 최근에 사람을 거의 보지 못했습니다. 그리고 저는 그 몇 사람에 대한 모든 이야기를 집에서 나누는 데 남겨두는 게 낫겠습니다. Harriet이 Lady Inglis' & the Butlers에서 있었던 제 마지막 즐거운 파티에 대해 말해줄 겁니다.

우리는 Carlyle을 다시 만났고(그는 여기서 Mrs B와 함께 저녁을 먹었습니다) 평소처럼 '친절하게' 이야기를 나누었습니다. 하지만 그는 Rogers처럼 자신의 시를 얼마나 많이 읽고 생각하는지 주장하면서 Wordsworth에 대한 저의 경의를 깨뜨렸습니다. 그리고 레이첼은 우리가 그녀의 연기의 힘과 본질에 대한 눈물이 한 번 이상 흘렀다는 것을 고백할 때 훨씬 더 나은 부분에서 다시 보았습니다.

그녀는 몇몇 공작에서 독서를 했고, 탈리오니가 상트페테르부르크에서 한 것처럼 열광적인 공작부인에게서 팔찌를 받았습니다. 톰은 그레이 씨와 함께 3주 동안 우리와 떨어져 파리로 갔고, 나는 그의 매혹에 대한 엿보기가 조금 부럽지만, 메리를 떠나고 싶지 않은 것 외에도 그의 독신 독립심을 내 여성성으로 지루하게 만드는 것을 생각할 수 없습니다.

저는 얼마 전, 당신이 그 점에 약하다는 것을 알고, 당신이 몇 개에 대해 반 정도의 수수료를 준 것을 기억하면서, 오래된 레이스로 된 완전한 장식품을 당신에게 가져다주고 싶었지만, 가격(50달러)이 너무 비싸서 모험을 떠나기 전에 추가 지시를 기다리고 있습니다. 당신이 호니튼 레이스나 다른 종류의 영국산을 원하고, 당신이 원하는 야드 수와 정확한 가격을 보내주실 수 있다면, 나라를 떠나기 전에 당신의 취향을 만족시키려고 노력할 것입니다.

방금 여행용 팝린 가운을 하나 사서 색상으로 당신을 기쁘게 해드리고, 거기에 퀘이커교도 같은 모습을 선보이겠습니다! 가게들은 아름다운 프랑스 물건들로 가득하지만, 저는 그들의 티틀뱃 매너에 혼자 맞설 용기가 없습니다. 어제는 '하웰 앤 제임스'에 과감히 진군했습니다. 보병의 빈민가를 침략하는 것과 다름없죠.

저는 제 불쌍한 머리카락으로 만든 또 다른 팔찌를 당신에게 가져다주는 것을 주저합니다. 캐롤라인 A를 위해 하나 주문했습니다. 저는 (독일인이 만든) 절묘한 디자인을 몇 가지 보았지만 모두 매우 비쌌습니다. 로저스의 전화로 방해를 받았습니다.
[4쪽 하단] 6월 17일 늙은 로저스가 어제 찾아왔는데, 저를 소개하기 위해서였습니다. 그는 제가 후원자 숙녀들을 매우 친절하게 열심히 찾고 있었기 때문에 마지막 연감에 티켓을 줄 것이라고 약속했습니다.

스티븐슨 부인은 저를 돌볼 수 없어서 템플 부부(바커 부인의 자매)에게 맡겼고, 그는 제임스 부부와 미스 제임스, 그리고 두세 명의 형제와 함께 미국식 팔랑크스를 만들었습니다. 그렇게 유명한 장소를 보는 것은 일종의 만족이었고, 우리의 집회에서 보는 것보다 아름다움은 덜했지만, 이 귀족적인 분위기에서 자라지 않는 품격 있는 특징과 인물들이 있는 훌륭한 무도회장을 보는 것은 재미있었습니다.

런던데리 후작부인은 품위 있는 자세로 앉아 있었습니다(역설적이지 않다면 일종의 세련된 [p. 4 위] 오티스 부인). 그리고 저는 또한 대상속인 크루츠 양도 보았습니다. 아주 단순한 붉은 얼굴에 푸른 가운을 입은 그녀는 그곳에서 가장 단순한 차림을 한 여성이었습니다. 또한 저자인 고어 부인이 있었지만, 러시 씨 - 저희 비서는 우리에게 귀족들에 대해 많은 것을 알려주지 못했습니다.

음악은 맛있었지만 왈츠는 짧고 갑작스러운 걸음걸이로 Stackpole처럼 우아하지 못했습니다. 저의 미국인 동료들은 호밀빵과 버터, 차와 마카롱으로 구성된 저녁 식사에 대해 매우 농담을 했습니다. 다른 것은 없었고, 같은 원칙에 따라 여기에서도 이런 논문을 사용해야 한다고 생각합니다. 드레싱은 아름다웠습니다. [p. 4 십자가] 프랑스 모자 장인들의 영향으로 4년 만에 그녀가 놀라울 정도로 성장했습니다.

최근에 형이 와서 멋진 원본 사진을 사줬으면 좋았을 텐데, 그 사진들은 너무나 사악하게 싸게 팔렸고 톰은 사려고 하지 않아서 그 이후로 몹시 비참했습니다. 저는 그레이 씨가 가장 사랑스러운 코레지오를 그의 지느러미 [p. 1 cross] gers 사이로 미끄러지게 한 것에 대해 꾸중했습니다. 그는 이런 식으로 돈을 쓰는 것이 옳다고 주장했습니다.

마리오투의 친구인 페폴리 백작은 훌륭한 갤러리를 판매하고 있으며, 아테네움에서 그의 가이도 중 일부를 흥정할 수 있었으면 좋겠습니다. 이런 어리석은 편지를 위해 당신의 눈을 잔인하게 노리는 것은 부끄러운 일입니다. 천 번의 용서와 무한한 사랑과 좋은 소원을 담아
당신의 진정한 친구

팬 -
메리, 롭, 톰이 많은 사랑을 보냅니다. 로널드가 당신의 키스에 관심을 가지고 답례합니다.
주소: 오스틴 양 / SAML 오스틴 주니어 에스콰이어 담당 / 보스턴 / 매사추세츠 미국

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St Catherines – Regent’s Park.
June 16th 1841.

I need not waste words to tell you, my darling, with what joy I welcomed your two dear letters, especially the first which allayed our alarm, or anxiety, about the tardy Britannia, (in which I fancied your brother Edward might be,) & after the President’s fate one’s faith in steam is somewhat undermined.

It is sorely against my conscience to write you at all & I have almost resolved to forbid your reading my letters yourself as I certainly must, & with a magnanimity worthy ‘this martyr-age,’ your writing me by every packet. God knows I would resign much more than this pleasure to ensure the[crossed out: ir] well-being of your precious eyes. & when I think of the needless length of my previous scrawls remorse clutches at my heart.

I delight to think of you enjoying yourself so much as you must in ‘old Virginny’ with such very agreeable compagnons de voyage & I am sure it was a ‘special providence’ which set them moving at this time when good company & a journey of interest had become what Miss Sedgwick w’d call a ‘must have’ for you.

Nature’s green-letter is a very different thing from printer’s devils black type & I expect to find you on my return ready for a winter campaign of literature. In a few days we bid adieu to London & its dying season, whose fading flowers are seen now behind post horses fast rushing to a wholesomer atmosphere to learn Nature’s secrets of eternal freshness & bloom, for her sturdy blossoms here put to shame these hot-house damsels of high degree.

The crush of vehicles in Regents St has not much diminished apparently, but as Parliament breaks up in [p. 2] a few days there will be a general scattering. Mr Gray has picked up at his Hotel a good Irish story of an Irish bishop setting forth for the Continent with any quantity of daughters & trunks all of which (trunks I mean) he sent by an Irish servant to the steamboat wharf where he vainly awaited their arrival & finally, having paid his passage, chose to embark, trusting to the benevolence of ‘les braves Belges’ with genuine Hibernian insouciance – having with him for apparel only his coachman’s carpet-bag!

The servant & the trunks being equally uninformed of their destination it is a curious problem in what lapse of time & chance they will re-encounter their respective owners, the poor Paddy probably surmising one steamer just as good as another & his worthy master known as well on the Continent as in ould Ireland.

Mary longs to get fairly away from the sound of carriage wheels & the town-feeling but feels dismal, too, at leaving this pretty house, loved as Ronald’s birth-place & the only home she has had this side the water.

It is being thrown adrift again where finally to anchor Heaven only knows & I wish it would vouchsafe us some glimpse of its prescience! I have got to love this nice cloister-garden behind our Chapel where I saunter daily, thinking of you, & the Chapel itself with its fine painted windows (dont read this atrocious chirography with your own eyes or I stop) well drilled chorister boys & pretty oaken pews, which tempt me to say my prayers there in spite of the stupidest preacher-; this quiet court with its ivy & Gothicness, the Park with its children, sheep & daisies, and, if Mary must live in London, I should like to believe this her perpetual abiding-place.

We pass a week on Woolwich common that she may pick up enough strength for a longer excursion but I doubt if she will be capable of much travelling for she is sadly destitute of [crossed out: strength] energy at present & needs entire repose of body & mind to be any-thing like her former self.

[p. 3] I have had more pain than pleasure thus far in being with her, on this acct, but hope to saver her much fatigue having an American sympathy with her constitution as no English person can. We have seen but few peope lately - & I had better reserve all account of those few for our home-chats. Harriet will tell you of my last pleasant parties at Lady Inglis’ & the Butlers.

We have seen Carlyle again (who passed an ev’g here with Mrs B.) & talked with usual ‘bonhommie,’ tho’ he disturbed my rev’rence for Wordsworht by asserting how much he read & thought of his own verses à la Rogers. And Rachel we have seen again in a still better part when I will confess to the starting of more than one tear thro’ the force & nature of her acting.

She has been giving readings at some Dukes & receiving bracelets from enthusiastic Duchesses as Taglioni did at St Petersburg. Tom accompanies Mr Gray to Paris for a 3 weeks absence from us & I envy a little his peep at its fascinations, but can’t think of boring his bachelor independance [sic] with my femininity, beside being unwilling to leave Mary.

I was vastly inclined to get you a complete adornment of old lace, th’ other day, knowing your weakness on that point & rememb’ring a sort of half commission you gave for some, but the price ($50) staggered me so I await further instructions before I venture. If you would like Honiton lace or any kind of English manufacture & will take the trouble to send me the number of yards & the exact price you covet I will endeavor, before leaving the country, to satisfy yr taste.

I have just got one a poplin gown for travelling to please you in color & a most quaker-like appearance I present therein! The shops are brilliant with pretty French things but I have not courage to encounter their Tittlebat-manners alone, tho’ I boldly marched into ‘Howell & James’ yesterday – which is not unlike invading a hollow square of infantry.

I hesitate about getting you another bracelet of my poor locks; ordering one for Caroline A- I saw some exquisite designs (by a German) but all very expensive. I am interrupted by a call from Rogers.
[p. 4 bottom] June 17th Old Rogers came yesday for no less a purpose than to acquaint me he had the promise of a ticket to the last Almanacks for me, having been hunting up Lady Patronesses with the kindest diligence.

Mrs Stevenson was too ill to chaperon me but put me under the care of Mr & Mrs Temple (sister she of Mrs Barker) who with a Mr & Mrs & Miss James & two or 3 brothers made an American phalanx. It was a sort of satisfaction to see so renowned a place & I was amused looking at so brilliant a ball-company tho’ there was less beauty than at our Assemblies on the whole, although some high bred features & figures which grow not out of this aristocratic atmosphere.

The Marchioness of Londonderry sat in dignified state (a sort of refined [p. 4 top] Mrs Otis if that is not paradoxical) & I saw likewise the great heiress Miss Crutts – with a very plain red face not helped by a blue gown – the simplest dressed woman there. Also Mrs Gore the authoress, but Mr Rush – our secretary could not enlighten us much about the grandees.

The music was delicious but the waltzing ungraceful with short jerky steps à la Stackpole. My American companions were highly facetious about the supper of rye bread & butter, tea & macaroons; nothing else, on the same principle I suppose that one has to use here such paper as this. The dressing was beautiful. the [p. 4 cross] influence of French milliners having wondrously increased her in 4 yrs.

How I wish yr brother had been here, lately, to buy some nice original pictures which were sold so villainously cheap that Tom has been desperately miserable ever since because he did not try to purchase. I scolded Mr Gray for letting the loveliest Correggio slip thro’ his fin [p. 1 cross] gers, he professing to be in the vein for spending money in this way.

A Count Pepoli, friend of Mariottu, has a fine gallery for sale & I wish the Athenaeum could be made to bargain for some of his Guidos. Tis shameful to try yr eyes so cruelly for such a stupid letter as this, mille pardons & with infinite love & good wishes
yr true friend

Fan –
Mary, Rob & Tom send much love. & Ronald returns yr kisses with interest.
ADDRESSED: MISS AUSTIN. / CARE OF SAML AUSTIN JR. ESQ. / BOSTON. / MASS. U.S.A.