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평화의 어머니 1장 내가 바라는 평생의 소원 2. "엄마, 고마워요! 엄마, 잘 부탁해!" 1 달아 달아 밝은 달아 이태백이 놀던 달아 저기 저기 저 달 속에 계수나무 박혔으니 옥도끼로 찍어 내어 금도끼로 다듬어서 초가삼간 집을 짓고 양친 부모 모셔다가 천년만년 살고 지고 천년만년 살고 지고 2 한편으로는 애달프면서도 한편으로는 울림과 깨우침을 주는 노래입니다. 어머니 아버지를 모셔다가 천년만년 살겠다는 구절은 효의 도리를 다하고 싶다는 바람을 담고 있습니다. 하나님을 잃고 천애고아로 살아가는 우리는 모든 것을 다 잃는다 하여도 하나님과 본향을 찾아 가야 합니다. 화려한 구중궁궐이 아닌 오막살이 초가삼간일지라도 그리운 부모를 모실 수 있다면 그보다 더 행복한 삶은 없을 것입니다. 3 인간을 비롯해 만물은 태양을 좋아합니다. 태양이 있어야만 생명체가 탄생하고 만물이 번성합니다. 그런데 달은 느낌이 다릅니다. 태양이 화려함이라면 달은 고요함입니다. 집을 떠난 사람은 태양을 바라보며 고향을 그리워하기보다는 달빛 아래에서 고향을 떠올리고 부모를 그리워합니다. 나는 남편과 달에 대한 많은 추억을 간직하고 있습니다. 추석이나 정월대보름에는 많은 식구와 함께 달맞이를 하곤 했습니다. 그러나 우리 부부는 달을 보며 마냥 상념에 젖어 있을 수는 없었습니다. "이 일을 끝내고······." 4 남편은 늘 그렇게 말했습니다. 남편뿐만 아니라 나 역시 그러하였습니다. "이 일을 끝내고 한가해지면 그때 조금 쉴 수 있겠지요." 급한 이 일을 끝내고 나면 조금이라도 쉴 틈이 있겠거니 생각했습니다. 그러나 그런 여유로운 시간은 주어지지 않았습니다. 100년 전 외할머니가 나라를 되찾기 위해 독립 만세를 외쳤던 것을 생각하면서 나는 인류를 구원하고 평화로운 세상을 만들기 위해 일평생 젊음과 정열을 남김없이 불태웠습니다. 5 비폭력과 평화를 부르짖는 3 · 1운동의 숭고한 정신을 이어받아 나는 늘 평화를 모든 일의 앞자리에 놓았습니다. 항상 시간이 부족하다는 마음으로 살면서 누구도 상상할 수 없는 많은 일을 했습니다. 나에게 주어진 일에 최선을 다하며 일구월심 한마음과 한뜻으로 오직 '위하는 삶'을 살아왔습니다. 6 그러다 보니 육신이 살아가는 데 꼭 필요한 휴식을 한번도 누려 본 적이 없습니다. 밥을 먹거나 잠자는 일도 잊고 지낼 때가 많았지만 몸이 아픈 것도 마치 사치인 것처럼 여겨졌습니다. 남편 문선명 총재는 워낙 튼튼한 체질로 태어났기에 건강에 조금이라도 관심을 기울였더라면 좋은 세상을 만들기 위해 좀 더 많은 시간 일할 수 있었으련만, 하늘의 뜻 앞에서는 자신을 조금도 돌보지 않은 탓에 돌이킬 수 없을 만큼 건강을 해쳤습니다. 성화(聖和)하기 전 4~5년 동안은 마치 천년을 하루처럼 바쁘게 살았습니다. 7 특히 외국을 다닐 때 남북보다 동서를 횡단하는 것이 건강에는 더욱 좋지 않습니다. 게다가 나이를 생각하면 장거리 여행은 하지 않았어야 했습니다. 굳이 해외에 나가야 했다면 2~3년에 한 번 정도 외유를 해야 했음에도 성화하기 1년 전 90세를 훌쩍 넘긴 연세에도 여덟차례 넘게 미국을 왕래했습니다. 자신의 건강을 전혀 돌보지 않고 오로지 하나님과 인류를 위해 일했습니다. 8 교회 식구들은 물론 청년들에게 인내심과 고난을 극복할 수 있는 정신을 길러 주기 위해 거친 바다에서 며칠 동안 밤을 새우는 일이 자주 있었습니다. 훈독회를 할 때면 들려주고 싶은 말씀이 너무 많아 열 시간을 넘기는 일도 허다했습니다. 다른 급한 일이 있음에도 불구하고 무리를 하여 급히 거문도와 여수를 다녀오다가 급기야는 감기가 들었습니다. 9 즉각 병원에 갔어야 했지만 "이 일을 끝내고 가자"며 차일피일 미뤘습니다. 마지못해 병원에 들러 진료를 받았을 때는 이미 건강이 무척 쇠약해진 상태였습니다. 조금 더 계셔야 한다고 만류했지만 누구의 말도 듣지 않았습니다. "아직 할 일이 많은데 병원에서 시간만 보내면 어떡하나!" 10 오히려 입원을 권유하는 사람들을 나무랐습니다. 어쩔 수 없이 퇴원을 했습니다. 그해 8월 12일이었습니다. 집으로 돌아와 문득 말씀했습니다. "내가 오늘은 엄마하고 겸상을 하고 싶다." 11 그 말을 들은 우리 식구들은 참으로 의아했습니다. 항상 내가 옆에 앉아 함께 식사를 했기 때문이었습니다. 그날 늦은 아침상을 앞에 두고 남편은 숟가락을 들 생각은 하지 않고 내 얼굴만 빤히 바라보았습니다. 아마 마음속에 아내 얼굴을 새기는 것 같았습니다. 나는 미소를 지으며 남편 손에 숟가락을 쥐여 주고 반찬을 올렸습니다. "이 나물이 맛있으니 천천히 드세요." 12 8월 13일은 유독 태양 빛이 강했습니다. 문 총재는 한 키가 넘는 커다란 산소통을 대동하고 따가운 햇빛을 받으며 청평호수와 청심중고등학교를 시작으로 천원단지를 두루 둘러보았습니다. 그리고 천정궁으로 돌아와 녹음기를 가져오라고 했습니다. 녹음기를 손에 들고 10여분 동안 깊은 생각에 잠겼다가 띄엄띄엄 말씀을 녹음했습니다. "다 이루었다, 다 이루었다! 모든 것을 하늘 앞에 돌려드리겠다. 완성, 완결, 완료하셨다." 13 결국 이 기도는 참아버지의 마지막 기도였습니다. 이날 기도 내용은 당신이 지나온 한 생애를 종결짓는 자리에서 타락의 역사를 초월해 인류 본연의 에덴동산으로 돌아가고 부모님만 따라오면 천국으로 향할 수 있다는 말씀이었습니다. 또한 자신의 종족을 인도하는 사명으로 나라를 복귀하겠다는 선포였습니다. 알파요 오메가이자 시작과 끝이 모두 함축된 기도이자 말씀이었습니다. 14 그러고는 잠시 가쁜 숨을 몰아쉬고 내 손을 꼭 잡았습니다. "엄마, 고마워요! 엄마, 잘 부탁해!" 힘겨워하면서도 "너무 미안하고 정말 고맙다"고 연이어 말씀했습니다. 나는 손을 더욱 굳게 잡으며 다정한 말과 눈빛으로 안심시켜 주었습니다. "아무 걱정 하지 마세요." 15 2012년 9월 3일, 문선명 총재는 93세를 일기로 하나님 품에 안겼습니다. 그리고 천성산 기슭 본향원에 잠들었습니다. 나는 자주 천성산 위로 떠오르는 달을 보며 깊은 생각에 잠깁니다. "옥도끼로 찍어 내어 금도끼를 다듬어서, 초가삼간 집을 짓고 양친 부모 모셔다가, 천년만년 살고 지고 천년만년 살고 지고 ········" 그 소망을 한없이 되뇌어 봅니다. |
平和の母 第1章 私が望む生涯の願い 2. ありがとう! 頼んだよ! 月よ月よ、明るい月よ はるか向こう、あの月に 玉の斧で切り倒して 小さなわらぶきの家を建て 千年万年暮らしたい 李太白が楽しんだ月よ カツラの木が生えている 金の斧でよく仕上げ 両親二人をお迎えし 千年万年暮らしたい 切なくも、心に響き渡り、気づきを与えてくれる歌です。 父や母を迎えて千年万年幕らそうという一節には、孝の道理を果たしたいという願いが込められています。 神様を見失い、天涯の狐児として生きている人間は、たとえすべてを失ったとしても、神様と本郷を訪ねていかなければなりません。華やかな王宮ではなく、粗末なわらぶき屋根の小屋だとしても、慕わしい父母を迎えて暮らすことができれば、これより幸せな人生はないでしょう。 人間や万物は、太陽を慕います。太陽があってこそ生命が誕生し、万物が栄えるのです。一方、月には違うイメージがあります。太陽が華やかさだとすれば、月は静けさです。家を出た人が、太陽を見つめながら故郷を懐かしむということはあまりありません。むしろ、月の光の下で故郷を思い浮かべ、親を慕うのです。私は、夫と月にまつわる多くの思い出を大切にしています。秋夕や陰暦の小正月には、たくさんの信徒と一緒にお月見をしました。 しかし、人類の真の父母である私たち夫婦は、月を見ながら物思いにふけっているわけにはいきませんでした。 「この仕事を終わらせて…」 夫の文鮮明総裁は、いつもそのように話していました。それは私も同じです。 「この仕事を終わらせて、時間ができたら、少し休めますね」 急ぎの仕事を終わらせたら、少しでも休む暇があるだろうと思っていましたが、ゆっくりする時間はついぞ与えられませんでした。 百年前、祖母が国を取り戻すために独立万歳を叫んだことを思いながら、私は人類を救い、平和な世の中をつくるため、生涯、命と情熱を余すことなく燃やしてきました。 非暴力と平和を叫んだ三·一運動の崇高な精神を受け継ぎ、常に私は、平和を何よりも優先してきました。いつも時間に追われる気持ちで、多くのことをしてきました。私に与えられた使命を果たすために最善を尽くし、変わらぬ心と志でただひたすら、ために生きる人生を過ごしてきたのです。これは、誰にも想像だにできないことでしょう。 ですから、生きるに当たって肉身が必要とする休息を、まともに取ったことがありません。食事をしたり眠ったりすることも忘れて過ごすことが多くありましたが、体調を崩すことすらも警沢であるかのように感じながら生きてきました。 文総裁は非常に丈夫な体を持って生まれたので、少しでも健康に関心を傾けていれば、より良い世界をつくるため、もっと長い間、働くことができたはずです。しかし、天のみ旨のためであれば、自身のことを少しも類みなかったため、取り返しのつかないほど健康を害してしまいました。聖和(他界)する四、五年前からは、まるで千年のことを一日でするかのように、忙しく過ごしていました。 特に、年齢を考えると長距離の移動をされるべきではありませんでした。どうしても海外に出なければならないとしても、二、三年に一度くらいに抑えるべきでした。 外国を回る際は、時差の関係もあり、南北を縦断するよりも東西を横断するほうが体に負担がかかるのですが、聖和する前の一年は、九十蔵を超えた年齢にもかかわらず、アメリカに行くために八回以上、東西を横断しました。自らの健康については全く考えず、ひたすら神様と人類のために働いたのです。 教会の古参の信徒はもちろん、青年たちに対して、苦難を克服する精神と忍耐力を養うために、荒れる海で何日も夜を徹することがよくありました。聞かせてあげたい話がありすぎきて、十時間以上、調読会(経典などを読み、学ぶ時間)をされることも多くありました。 ある仕事が迫っている中、文総裁は無理をして巨文島と麗水を急いで回ったのですが、ついに風邪を引いてしまいました。すぐにでも病院に行くべきでしたが、「この仕事を終わらせてから行こう」と言うので、明日、明後日と先延ばしになってしまいました。ようやく病院に行って診察を受けた時には、既に体が非常に衰弱した状態でした。 そうして、二〇一二年の夏、しばらく入院することになったのですが、病院の検診が終わるや否や、すぐに退院しょうと言い、頑として譲りませんでした。もう少しいたほうがよいと引き止めましたが、誰の言葉も聞き入れはしませんでした。 「まだすべきことが多いのに、病院で時間ばかり過ごしてどうするのか!」 むしろ、入院を勤める人たちを、このように叱るのです。どうすることもできず、退院することになりました。それが八月十二日のことでした。館に戻ると、文総裁がほつりとつぶやきました。 「きょうは、二人で向かい合って食事をしたいね」 その言葉を聞いた周りの信徒たちは、とても不思議に思いました。いつも私は隣に座って食事をしていたからです。その日、文絵裁は遅い朝の食勝を前にして、スプーンを持とうともせずに、私の顔だけをじっと見つめていらっしゃいました。お父様の心の中に、(自分の)妻の顔を刻みつけていらっしゃったのでしょう。私はほほ笑みながら、お父様の手にスプーンを取ってさしあげ、おかずを召し上がっていただきました。 「このナムルおいしいので、ゆっくりとお召し上がり下さい。」 8月13日はひときわ強い日差しが照りつける中 、お父様は人の背丈以上のとても大きい酸素ボンベと共に、清平湖と清心中高等学校をはじめ、清平団地をすべて見て回られました。そして天正宮に戻って録音機を持ってくるようにおっしゃりました。録音機を手に取り10分くらい深い考えに沈まれてから、ぽつりぽつりみ言を録音されました。 「成し遂げた。成し遂げた!すべてを天の前にお返しいたします。完成、完結、完了しました。」 結局、この祈りは真のお父様の最後の祈りでした。この日の祈りの内容は、お父様が過ごされた一生涯を終結させる場において、堕落の歴史を超越し、人類本然のエデンの園に戻り、父母様について行きさえすれば天国に向かうことができるというみ言でした。また、自分の氏族を導く使命として、国を復帰するという宣布でした。アルファでありオメガであり、始めと終わりすべてを含んだ祈りであり、み言でした。 それからしばし大きな息をついて私の手を固く握りしめました。 「ありがとう!頼んだよ!」。 息苦しそうにされながらも、「本当にすまない。本当にありがとう」と、続けて話されました。 私はお父様の手をさらに固く握りしめ、慰労の言葉と眼差しで安心させてさしあげました。 「何も心配しないでください」。 2012年9月3日、文鮮明総裁は93歳の一生をもって神の懐に抱かれました。そして天聖山のふもと本郷苑で眠りに就かれました。私はよく天聖山の上に浮かぶ月を見ると、深い考えに浸ります。 " 玉(翡翠)の手斧で 伐り出して、金の手斧で仕上げをし、草葺三間家建てて、父さん母さん呼び迎え、千万年も暮らしたや、千万年も暮らしたや......」その願いを何度も何度も繰り返します。 |
MOTHER of PEACE CHAPTER 1 MY CHERISHED LIFELONG WISH 2. Thank you! Mother, please take care of everything! Moon, moon, bright moon, the moon with which Lee Tae-baek used to play, Far away on that moon, there is a cinnamon tree. I cut it down with a jade axe and trimmed it with a gold axe, To build a small cottage where I attend my mother and father. I want to live with them forever; I want to live with them forever. While laden with sadness, this traditional Korean song also stirs and uplifts the heart. The wish to live forever with one's mother and father conveys the heart of filial piety. We are orphans, far from the Heavenly Parent whom we have lost, and we have to find our True Parents and our original homeland. Nothing leads to greater happiness than being able to attend the beloved parents for whom we long, be it in a palace or a small hut. Everything and everyone loves the sun. Only with the sun can life flourish. The moon, on the other hand, bestows something else. The sun represents splendor, the moon tranquility. When people are far from home, they tend to think about their hometown and long for their parents while looking at the moon, not at the sun. I have fond memories of gazing at the moon together with my husband. We watched it with many members during the Korean Chuseok harvest festival, and at the first full moon of the new year. Nonetheless, those moments were rare. My husband and I could not immerse ourselves in such tranquility. “After this work is done ...,' my husband would always say, and so would I: “After this work is finished and we have a bit of free time, we'll be able to take a break.” Over our years of ministry, one would think there would have been brief moments to relax after completing an urgent task. But for us, free time never materialized. Spurred on by the thought of my grandmother Jo crying “Mansei!” for the independence and salvation of our nation, I burned with a youthful passion for saving humanity and building a peaceful world. I have always held high the banner of peace, inheriting the March First Independence Movement's noble spirit of non-violence and self-determination. Because I lived with this sense of urgency, I found myself accomplishing what I would never have imagined possible. Throughout my life, I have done my utmost to fulfill all the tasks that have come to me. I have striven to dedicate myself to living for the sake of others with one heart and one will. I have never given my body the rest it needs. Many were the times I neglected to eat or sleep. My husband, Rev. Dr. Sun Myung Moon, who is often known as Father Moon, was the same. He was born with a strong physique, and had he taken better care of his health, he would have had more time to work for a better world. But he too followed God's will with unflinching devotion, and this damaged his health, ultimately to the point of no return. Up to four or five years before his ascension in 2012, he was in continual motion, living each day as if it were a thousand years. His work was strenuous, both physically and spiritually. For example, he often spent entire nights in a small fishing boat on rough seas. He did this for the sake of others, setting an example for our Ocean Church members as well as leaders who accompanied him. He wanted to help them cultivate patience and the spirit to overcome hardship. Father Moon constantly traveled between continents, and it usually was between east and west, which takes a much greater toll than traveling between north and south. Considering his age, he traveled far too often between Korea and the United States. He should have limited such trips to once every two to three years, but he would not consider it. The year before his passing at age 92, he traveled between Korea and America at least eight times. This was a complete self sacrifice, offered solely for God and humankind. Father Moon's daily schedule itself was grueling. Every morning he would rise at 3:00 a.m., exercise, pray and study. At 5:00 a.m. he led hoondokhae, which means 'gathering to read and learn,' with followers. It was a time of devotional scripture reading, prayer and instruction. During hoondokhae, my husband had so much to share that it was not uncommon for it to continue for up to 10 hours, skipping breakfast and lunch. No sooner would he conclude the session than he would grab a quick bite and depart to visit a movement project. In the final years, while in Korea, he would travel by helicopter to Geomun Island or Yeosu, where we were developing fishing, recreational and educational facilities. Into his seventies, Father Moon could handle this physically, but in his last decade it would wear him out, and he would end up with a cold or worse. Of course he would ignore the symptoms. And then, during the summer of 2012, he caught a deep chest cold that was particularly alarming. We should have gone to the hospital immediately, but he kept postponing it, saying over and over, “We can go after this is done.” Eventually, the decision was non-negotiable; he had to go to the hospital. His body was already in a very fragile state. He was hospitalized for a short time, but as soon as his medical examinations were finished, he stubbornly insisted on being discharged. We tried to persuade him to stay longer, but he wouldn't listen. “I still have a lot of work to do; I can't just sit here in hospital!” he said, scolding the people who advised him to stay. There was no choice but to discharge him. That was August 12, 2012. We arrived home, and all of a sudden he said, “I want to have breakfast sitting opposite you, Omma.' The members who heard this weren't sure they heard him right, because I always sat next to my husband during meals, not facing him. And then, when the food was served, my husband seemed uninterested in eating. He just gazed at me as if he were trying to engrave my face in his heart. I smiled and placed a spoon in his hand and something from the side dishes on his plate. 'These vegetables are delicious, so take your time to eat,' I said. The next day, the sun was unusually strong, even for mid-summer. In the oppressive heat, Father Moon toured parts of our Cheonwon complex on the shores of Cheongpyeong Lake, accompanied by an oxygen tank larger than himself. Upon his return to our home, Cheon Jeong Gung, he asked me to bring a voice recorder. With the recorder in his hand, he fell into deep thought for 10 minutes, and then little by little, began recording his thoughts. He stated that when we transcend the history of the Fall and return to the original garden of Eden, following only God, we can then move in the direction of the kingdom of heaven. He also proclaimed that we can restore nations through fulfilling the mission of guiding our tribes. It was a soliloquy and prayer that embraced the beginning and the end, the alpha and omega. “Everything has been accomplished! I offer everything to Heaven,' he said in closing. “Everything has been brought to its consummation, completion, and conclusion.” This turned out to be True Father's final prayer. With it, he brought his life to a close. Breathing with some difficulty for a moment, he squeezed my hand tightly. 'Mother, thank you! Mother, please take care of everything. I'm so sorry and I'm truly grateful,” he said, struggling to get the words out. Again and again he said those same words. I held his hand more and more firmly, and with warm words and loving eyes, holding back the tears, I reassured him that everything would be all right. “Don't worry about anything.' On September 3, 2012, my husband, Rev. Dr. Sun Myung Moon, ascended into God's embrace. He was 93 years old, by the Korean way of counting, and was laid to rest in the Bonhyangwon, which means the garden in the original hometown, beside a pond on Mount Cheonseong. I have often slipped into deep thought gazing at the moon rising above Mount Cheonseong. “I cut it down with a jade axe and trimmed it with a gold axe, to build a small cottage where I attend my mother and father. I want to live with them forever.” I repeat this poem to myself, over and over. |
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