Re: max and ruby(jonghyeon)

[Teacher1]

Ruby played baseball with her friends.

But she didn't remember the rules.
And her friend, Who plays baseball well who played baseball well, explained the rules.

Ruby's turn came.
And the striker hit the ball → She got ready to hit the ball.
But a toy airplain airplane interrupted Ruby,
so Ruby couldn't hit the ball.

The airplane was Max's.

Ruby had a time-out.
She scolded Max and went back to the baseball field.

Ruby's turn came back again.
But Max's airplane flied flew to Ruby again.
So she couldn't hit the ball.
And she scolded Max again.

In her last turn,
Max's airplane flied flew to her again.
She successed to hit succeeded in hitting a home run,
because the airplane helped her!

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Score: B+

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Tips)

• 맞춤법: airplain → airplane, flied → flew, successed → succeeded

• 자연스러운 말: “the striker hit the ball” 대신 → She got ready to hit the ball가 더 맞는 표현이에요.

• 이야기 흐름: 방해하던 비행기가 마지막엔 도와준다는 반전이 재미있고 상상력이 좋아요! ✈️⚾

종현이 정말 잘했어요! Max의 장난감 비행기가 마지막엔 도와주는 장면이 아주 인상 깊었어요 😊💫