Re: Max and Ruby - Felix

[Teacher Winget]

When Max is plays plays with his truck toy in his room, Ruby comes and said says that it's time to clean up. Ruby starts to clean up Max's room. She cleans up his dirt, and Max is puts puts some dirt in his pocket. But when she is cleans cleans his room, she steps on something sticky. So, she puts the bubble in the wastebasket. When she look looks under Max's bed, he picks up the bubble and puts in it in his pocket. In under Under the bed, ants is escape escape from the ant farm. But Max is puts puts the ants in his pocket. When she cleans Max's room again, the she finds an egg is in in the drawer, but Max is puts puts the egg in his pocket again. In On the cupboard door, the popsicle is melta melting in there, but Max is puts puts the popsicle in his pocket. He is puts puts many things in his pocket in after afterwards. When Ruby is asks asks about manythings the many things in his pocket, he says, "Everything is in here!"

Score: A-

Tips:

• Clarify the sequence of events for a smoother narrative flow.
• Reflect on Ruby’s reactions to Max’s actions to add more humor or depth to the story.
• Consider adding more detail about the types of things Max hides in his pocket and how it contributes to the story's theme.
• Ensure proper verb tense and subject-verb agreement (e.g., "says" instead of "said," "plays" instead of "is plays").
• Use correct article and pronoun usage for clarity (e.g., "an egg" instead of "the egg," "some dirt" instead of "this some dirt").
• Simplify and clarify sentences for better readability (e.g., "puts it in his pocket" instead of "puts in his pocket," "is melting" instead of "is melta").