Re: Max and Ruby-오성연

[Teacher Winget]

One day, Max and Ruby were picked picked berries by with their grandmother because of her special recipe.

When they arrived at the berries berry farm, Max wanted to eat several kind several kinds of berries, and Ruby let him not eat told him not to eat them.

While Ruby picked blackberries, blueberries, and raspberries, Max was stolen berries by toy, which he always played used his toy to steal berries while playing with it.

However, Ruby hardly picked managed to pick all of the berries, and they planned to go back.

By the way, But then, Max's toy mushed all of mashed all the berries, and their grandmother came.

But their idea unexpected that unexpectedly, she wasn't angry but happy.

At last, they could eat got to enjoy a delicious smoothe smoothie thanks to Max.

In my opinion, where is where are the strawberries?

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Score: A-

Tips)

1. 문법 및 표현 수정:

   • "Max and Ruby were picked berries" → "Max and Ruby picked berries" ('were picked'는 수동태이므로 능동태로 수정)
   • "Max wanted to eat several kind of berries" → "Max wanted to eat several kinds of berries" ('kind' 대신 복수형 'kinds' 사용)
   • "Max was stolen berries by toy" → "Max used his toy to steal berries" (자연스러운 표현으로 수정)
   • "By the way, Max's toy mushed all of berries" → "But then, Max's toy mashed all the berries" (문맥상 전환을 자연스럽게 하고 'mushed' 대신 'mashed' 사용)
   • "At last, they could eat a delicious smoothie" → "At last, they got to enjoy a delicious smoothie" ('could eat'보다 'got to enjoy'가 더 자연스러움)

2. 내용 추가 추천:

   • 할머니가 왜 화내지 않았는지 조금 더 설명하면 좋을 것 같아요!
   • Ruby는 Max 덕분에 결과적으로 기뻤을까요, 아니면 아직 화가 났을까요?