Family feud

[zem^^]

Family feud




Dear Annie: I recently went home for a family visit and discovered rather suggestive pictures of my brother with "Sally." My brother, however, is married to "Carolyn."


These were recent photos taken on a business trip. My brother stashed them in a drawer at my parents' place. I came across them when I went to search for a pair of scissors. I knew my mother would be terribly upset if she saw these pictures, so I took them home with me before they were discovered by anyone else.


What should I do now? Should I burn the pictures or put them back where I found them? My brother has been through marriage counseling, but it apparently hasn't helped, and I doubt he would listen to my advice. -- Concerned Little Brother


Dear Concerned: Give the pictures to your brother. Explain that you found the photos accidentally and removed them to spare your mother the anguish of seeing him with another woman. Tell him he ought to get rid of the pictures or put them where they will not be discovered by anyone else.


Dear Annie: This letter is for all the teenage girls whose monthly cramps are worse than most. When I was young, I was told that if I were more active, the pain would go away. It didn't. In fact, it got worse. Eventually I was put on prescription painkillers and then birth control pills. Nothing helped.


In my late 20s, my husband and I decided to start a family. After a lot of tests and quite a few surgeries, doctors discovered that I have endometriosis. This is a painful disease that can cause infertility and other problems. If any young woman thinks she may have endometriosis, please urge her to talk to her doctor about it. It could change her life. -- Finally Blessed with Children in Alberta, Canada


Dear Alberta: Thank you for your valuable letter. Extremely painful menstrual cycles are one symptom of endometriosis, and early treatment can make a huge difference. Contact the Endometriosis Association (endometriosisassn.org) at 8585 N. 76th Place, Milwaukee, WI 53223 for information. For a list of online resources around the globe, check out endometriosis.org.


Dear Annie: I have a married son who never comes to see me. He says it's easier for me to go to his house. He will drive right past my home on his way to church or to his mother-in-law's, yet he never stops by. When a holiday rolls around, or my birthday, he'll phone and say he has a gift for me, but I have to go to his house to pick it up. I never receive pictures of his children, even when I ask for them.


Of course, the situation is reversed with his wife's family. They are taken out to dinner all the time, get more presents on holidays, and he is often at their house fixing things. I can't even get him to come into my home, let alone do anything for me. I'm scheduled for minor surgery soon, and when I tried to tell him, he was too busy talking about his in-laws, and I gave up.


I don't know where I went wrong. I have ceased to exist for my son and his family. The grandkids are not allowed to stay at my house, yet the other grandma gets them whenever she wants. What can I do? -- Lonely Grandma


Dear Grandma: How sad that your son doesn't make a greater effort to keep you in his life, but it only fuels resentment to compare your treatment with the in-laws', keeping a record of who's "winning." Can you warm up the relationship with your daughter-in-law? It might help.


Meanwhile, don't rely on Sonny to be your social outlet. Volunteer at a hospital, join a health club, work for a politician, sing in a choir. Get involved and fill your life with people who will care about your welfare.