PART 3 // chapter 2-2

[모나리자]

"그가 아직 집에 있다면," 그는 덧붙였다. "젠장! 환자를 통제할 수 없다면, 어떻게 그들을 치료할 수 있겠어? 그가 그들에게 갈지, 아니면 그들이 여기 올지 알아?" "그들이 올 것 같아," 라주미힌이 질문의 대상을 이해하며 말했다. "그리고 그들은 가족 문제를 논의할 거야. 나는 갈게. 의사인 네가 나보다 여기 있을 권리가 더 많아." "하지만 나는 고해 신부가 아니야. 나는 왔다가 갈 거야. 나는 그들을 돌보는 것 외에도 할 일이 많아."

"한 가지 걱정되는 게 있어." 라주미힌이 눈살을 찌푸리며 끼어들었다. "집으로 가는 길에 술에 취해 말도 안 되는 소리를 많이 했어... 온갖 얘기를... 그리고 그 중에 네가 그가... 미칠까 봐 두려웠다는 말도 있었어." "네가 숙녀들에게도 그렇게 말했잖아." "그게 어리석었다는 건 알아! 네가 원하면 날 때려도 돼! 그렇게 진지하게 생각했어?" "말도 안 돼, 내가 어떻게 진지하게 생각할 수 있겠어? 당신 스스로가 나를 그에게 데려왔을 때 그를 일편단심이라고 표현했잖아요... 그리고 어제 우리는 불에 기름을 부었어요, 당신은 화가에 대한 이야기로 말이에요; 그가 바로 그 점에 대해 화가였을 때, 그것은 좋은 대화였어요! 그때 경찰서에서 무슨 일이 일어났는지 알았더라면, 어떤 놈이... 그를 의심으로 모욕했다는 것을! 흠... 어제는 그런 대화를 허용하지 않았을 거예요.

이 일편단심한 놈들은 작은 일을 큰 일로 만들고... 그들의 공상을 확실한 현실로 여길 거예요... 내 기억으로는, 제 생각에 반쯤 수수께끼를 풀어준 건 자메토프의 이야기였어요. 글쎄요, 저는 40대 남성인 건강 불안증 환자가 8살 소년의 목을 베는 사건을 알고 있어요. 그가 매일 식탁에서 하는 농담을 참을 수 없었기 때문이에요! 그리고 이 사건에서는 그의 누더기, 무례한 경찰관, 열병, 그리고 이 의심이요! 그 모든 것이 건강 불안증과 병적으로 예외적인 허영심에 반쯤 미쳐 있는 남자에게 작용한 거야! 그게 바로 병의 시작점이었을 거야. 글쎄, 귀찮게!... 그리고, 그런데, 자메토프는 확실히 좋은 사람이지만, 음... 그는 어젯밤에 그 모든 것을 말하지 말았어야 했어.

그는 끔찍한 수다쟁이야!" "하지만 그는 누구에게 말했어? 너와 나?" "그리고 포르피리." "그게 뭐 중요해?" "그리고, 그런데, 당신은 그들의 어머니와 누이에게 영향을 미쳤어? 그들에게 오늘 그를 더 조심하라고 말해..." "그들은 잘 지낼 거야!" 라주미힌이 마지못해 대답했다.

"그가 왜 이 루진에게 그렇게 반감을 품고 있는 거지? 돈 있는 남자고 그녀가 그를 싫어하지 않는 것 같은데... 그리고 그들은 한 푼도 없겠지? 응?" "하지만 그게 너하고 무슨 상관이야?" 라주미힌이 짜증내며 소리쳤다. "그들이 한 푼이라도 가지고 있는지 어떻게 알아? 직접 물어보면 알게 될지도 몰라요..." "Foo! 가끔은 정말 엉뚱한 녀석이군요! 어젯밤 와인이 아직 안 나왔네요... 안녕; 숙박에 대한 감사를 전하고 싶어서 Praskovya Pavlovna에게 전해줘.

그녀는 문을 잠그고 문을 통해 인사를 건넨 내 인사에 대답하지 않았다. 그녀는 7시에 일어났고, 사모바르는 주방에서 그녀에게로 옮겨졌다. 나는 개인 면담을 허락받지 못했다..." 정확히 9시에 Razumihin은 Bakaleyev의 집 숙박 시설에 도착했다. 두 여인은 긴장해서 참을성을 잃고 그를 기다리고 있었다. 그들은 7시나 그 전에 일어났다.

그는 밤처럼 검게 변해 들어와 어색하게 절을 하고는 곧바로 화가 났다. 그는 주인 없이 계산했다. Pulcheria Alexandrovna가 그에게 달려들어 두 손을 잡고 거의 키스할 뻔했다. 그는 아브도티아 로마노브나를 겁먹은 듯 쳐다봤지만, 그녀의 당당한 표정은 그 순간 너무나 감사하고 친절한 표정이었고, (그가 예상했던 비웃음과 위장하지 않은 경멸 대신) 너무나 완전하고 예상치 못한 존경심이어서, 모욕을 당했을 때보다 더 큰 혼란에 빠졌습니다. 다행히 대화할 주제가 있었고, 그는 서둘러 그 주제를 잡았습니다.

모든 것이 순조롭게 진행되고 로디아가 아직 깨어나지 않았다는 소식을 듣고, 풀케리아 알렉산드로브나는 "미리 이야기해야 할 매우 매우 필요한 것이 있어서" 기쁘다고 선언했습니다. 그런 다음 아침 식사에 대한 질문과 함께 아침 식사를 함께 하자는 초대가 이어졌습니다. 그들은 그와 함께 아침 식사를 하기를 기다렸습니다. 아브도티아 로마노브나가 벨을 울렸습니다. 누더기 옷을 입은 더러운 웨이터가 벨을 받았고, 그들은 그에게 차를 가져오라고 했고, 마침내 차가 제공되었지만, 너무나 더럽고 무질서한 방식으로 제공되어 숙녀들은 부끄러워했습니다.

라주미힌은 숙소를 맹렬히 공격했지만 루진을 떠올리고 당황해 멈춰 섰고, 풀케리아 알렉산드로브나가 끊임없이 그에게 질문을 퍼붓자 크게 안도했다.

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“If he is still at home,” he added. “Damn it all! If one can’t control one’s patients, how is one to cure them? Do you know whether he will go to them, or whether they are coming here?” “They are coming, I think,” said Razumihin, understanding the object of the question, “and they will discuss their family affairs, no doubt. I’ll be off. You, as the doctor, have more right to be here than I.” “But I am not a father confessor; I shall come and go away; I’ve plenty to do besides looking after them.”

“One thing worries me,” interposed Razumihin, frowning. “On the way home I talked a lot of drunken nonsense to him... all sorts of things... and amongst them that you were afraid that he... might become insane.” “You told the ladies so, too.” “I know it was stupid! You may beat me if you like! Did you think so seriously?” “That’s nonsense, I tell you, how could I think it seriously? You, yourself, described him as a monomaniac when you fetched me to him... and we added fuel to the fire yesterday, you did, that is, with your story about the painter; it was a nice conversation, when he was, perhaps, mad on that very point! If only I’d known what happened then at the police station and that some wretch... had insulted him with this suspicion! Hm... I would not have allowed that conversation yesterday.

These monomaniacs will make a mountain out of a mole-hill... and see their fancies as solid realities.... As far as I remember, it was Zametov’s story that cleared up half the mystery, to my mind. Why, I know one case in which a hypochondriac, a man of forty, cut the throat of a little boy of eight, because he couldn’t endure the jokes he made every day at table! And in this case his rags, the insolent police officer, the fever and this suspicion! All that working upon a man half frantic with hypochondria, and with his morbid exceptional vanity! That may well have been the starting-point of illness. Well, bother it all!... And, by the way, that Zametov certainly is a nice fellow, but hm... he shouldn’t have told all that last night.

He is an awful chatterbox!” “But whom did he tell it to? You and me?” “And Porfiry.” “What does that matter?” “And, by the way, have you any influence on them, his mother and sister? Tell them to be more careful with him to-day....” “They’ll get on all right!” Razumihin answered reluctantly.

“Why is he so set against this Luzhin? A man with money and she doesn’t seem to dislike him... and they haven’t a farthing, I suppose? eh?” “But what business is it of yours?” Razumihin cried with annoyance. “How can I tell whether they’ve a farthing? Ask them yourself and perhaps you’ll find out....” “Foo! what an ass you are sometimes! Last night’s wine has not gone off yet.... Good-bye; thank your Praskovya Pavlovna from me for my night’s lodging.

She locked herself in, made no reply to my bonjour through the door; she was up at seven o’clock, the samovar was taken into her from the kitchen. I was not vouchsafed a personal interview....” At nine o’clock precisely Razumihin reached the lodgings at Bakaleyev’s house. Both ladies were waiting for him with nervous impatience. They had risen at seven o’clock or earlier.

He entered looking as black as night, bowed awkwardly and was at once furious with himself for it. He had reckoned without his host: Pulcheria Alexandrovna fairly rushed at him, seized him by both hands and was almost kissing them. He glanced timidly at Avdotya Romanovna, but her proud countenance wore at that moment an expression‎ of such gratitude and friendliness, such complete and unlooked-for respect (in place of the sneering looks and ill-disguised contempt he had expected), that it threw him into greater confusion than if he had been met with abuse. Fortunately there was a subject for conversation, and he made haste to snatch at it.

Hearing that everything was going well and that Rodya had not yet waked, Pulcheria Alexandrovna declared that she was glad to hear it, because “she had something which it was very, very necessary to talk over beforehand.” Then followed an inquiry about breakfast and an invitation to have it with them; they had waited to have it with him. Avdotya Romanovna rang the bell: it was answered by a ragged dirty waiter, and they asked him to bring tea which was served at last, but in such a dirty and disorderly way that the ladies were ashamed.

Razumihin vigorously attacked the lodgings, but, remembering Luzhin, stopped in embarrassment and was greatly relieved by Pulcheria Alexandrovna’s questions, which showered in a continual stream upon him.