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metaphorical
[mètəfɔ́ːrikəl]
은유적인,
나는 당신을 그리워한다는 직선적 표현보다
"오늘도 옷고름 씹어가며.."
또는 "꽃잎은 빨갛게 멍이 들었소,"라는 표현이 더 찡하게 다가온다
pop song 에서도 그렇다.
Don't they know it's the end of the world?
'Cause you don't love me any more
그들은 세상의 끝이
당신이 더 이상 나를 사랑하지 않기 때문이라는 것을 모르는지...
한국은 물론 세계가 주목하는
BTS 의 Dynamite 에서는
"I'm a diamond, you know I glow up." -
나는 다이아몬드, 너는 내가 번쩍임을 안다
Life is a highway
인생은 고속도로이다
위에 열거한 노랫말을 직접적인 것이 아니라
은유적 (metaphoric) 이다
성경은 은유의 꽃들로 꽉차있다.
"I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.
나는 선한 목자요
선한 목자는 양들을 위해 목숨을 내놓는다
(John / 요한복음 10:11)
false teachers are “springs without water and mists driven by a storm
거짓 교사들은 물없는 샘이며
강풍에 밀려다니는 안개이다
metaphor (형용사는 metaphoric)는
그리스어 metaphora 가 그 뿌리인데
하나의 말이 다른 뜻으로 바뀌어 사용된다는 뜻이다
"한국 가곡의 내 마음을 호수 또는 촛불이요,"라고 노래한 것 처럼 ~
나 자신을 은유법으로 표현하면 다음과 같다.
Metaphorically speaking (은유적으로 말하면)
(몸이 좋지 않아 몸이 자유롭지 못하므로)
I'd like to be a calf released from the stall.
나는 외양간에서 나온 송아지처러 되고 싶다
(물론 성경 말라기 4:2 을 인용한 것)
키가 좀 크다고 생각하는
나는 세단이 아니라 SUV 와 같다
I am not like a small sedan but an SUV (Sport Utility Vehicle)
Solomon 왕의 '사랑의 시' 가운데 은유적인 것 하나 ~
You are a garden fountain, a well of flowing water streaming down from Lebanon.
너는 정원의 샘 같고
레바논에서 흘러나오는 냇물과 같다.
(Song of Songs / 아가 4:15)
Your two breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies.
너의 두 유방은 백합과 사이에서 뛰어노는 쌍둥이 사슴 새끼 같다.
"a transfer," especially of the sense of one word to a different word,
Life is a hightway
"I'm a diamond, you know I glow up." - "Dynamite" by BTS.
Kenneth Silvestri Ed.D.
A Wider Lens
RELATIONSHIPS
use a METAPHORICAL expression
1980 부터 up
It's a METAPHORICAL pie.
What It Takes to Sustain Significant Relationships
Personal Perspective: The art of mutuality.
Posted January 5, 2024
Reviewed by Kaja Perina
But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.”
He's a couch potato. She's got a heart of gold.
That party was the bomb.
Money is the root of all evil.
Romeo and Juliet” is found in Act 2, Scene 2, known as the balcony scene. In this scene, Romeo compares Juliet to the sun, saying:
John 10:11: "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep."
Peter said that false teachers are “springs without water and mists driven by a storm” (2 Peter 2:17).
Isaiah 64:8: “But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter
"many of our metaphorical expressions develop from our perceptions of the body
A young girl takes a trip through a metaphorical zoo gathering animals symbolic of her negative thoughts. key POINTS
I have incorporated “Warm Data” in my practice (developed by Nora Bateson, President of the International Bateson Institute.)
It is “…information about the interrelationships that integrate elements of a complex system.”
Metaphorically speaking, Wal-Mart is a whale in a pool of small fish.
I just wondered if it could be somehow metaphorical
My approach to gathering Warm Data uses a metaphorical systemic three-legged stool.
Human thought is thus a metaphorical process.
"Hope lies in the very fact that as living beings we are wired for relationships. It is only possible to express our humanity in relationship to other human beings."
Nora Bateson
What follows is a summary of my qualitative participant/observations.
It manifested in ingredients for sustaining win-win mutuality in relationships.
They consist of a compilation of interactions from thousands of therapy sessions with hundreds of couples/families, as well as cases of those I supervise.
“…my mother and father were right. They always said that it takes two to make a quarrel and nobody was better at it than they were!”
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metaphor (n.)
"figure of speech by which a characteristic of one object is assigned to another, different but resembling it or analogous to it; comparison by transference of a descriptive word or phrase," late 15c., methaphoris (plural), from French metaphore (Old French metafore, 13c.) and directly from Latin metaphora, from Greek metaphora "a transfer," especially of the sense of one word to a different word, literally "a carrying over," from metapherein "to transfer, carry over; change, alter; to use a word in a strange sense," from meta "over, across" (see meta-) + pherein "to carry, bear" (from PIE root *bher- (1) "to carry," also "to bear children").
But a metaphor is no argument, though it be sometimes the gunpowder to drive one home and imbed it in the memory. [James Russell Lowell, "Democracy," 1884]
It is a great thing, indeed, to make a proper use of the poetical forms, as also of compounds and strange words. But the greatest thing by far is to be a master of metaphor. It is the one thing that cannot be learnt from others; and it is also a sign of genius, since a good metaphor implies an intuitive perception of the similarity in dissimilars. [Aristotle, "Poetics," 1459a 3-8]
also from late 15c.
Gracie Allen
Introduction
I have been involved with couples/families as a systemic psychotherapist for the past forty years.
They usually come to make a difference in their significant relationships, although they seldom initially understand how it is to be “within” those relationships.
Having been trained in cultural anthropology to look at how change comes about, I have “learned to learn” to help them recognize the tipping point or readiness to make that difference.
Many therapists who work with couples and families fall into the trap of becoming part of the presenting problems by creating long-term dependency.
That is only a “first-order change” and seldom goes beyond the therapeutic question of “how do you feel.” I have found that when all involved, including myself, have a synchronized understanding of how relationships transcend individuality, this is when “differences that make a difference” occur in earnest.
I have incorporated “Warm Data” in my practice (developed by Nora Bateson, President of the International Bateson Institute.)
It is “…information about the interrelationships that integrate elements of a complex system.”
My approach to gathering Warm Data uses a metaphorical systemic three-legged stool.
It consists of contextual prompts regarding Commitment to making a difference within a systemic framework;
Equity in altering decision-making/power; and Intimacy/Communication, the hundred-plus ways to have a relationship.
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What follows is a summary of my qualitative participant/observations.
It manifested in ingredients for sustaining win-win mutuality in relationships.
They consist of a compilation of interactions from thousands of therapy sessions with hundreds of couples/families, as well as cases of those I supervise.
The results can be used as a recipe in any order and will be beneficial when the prompts are answered in the contexts of commitment, equity, and intimacy mentioned above.
What It Means to be Holistic
Recognizing the gestalt of our being is a prerequisite to savoring our relationships. This widens our perceptual lens to see more than the sum of the parts that make up our existence. We are much more than what any of us can offer individually.
Think about how nature works, allowing for unpredictability, for all species to hopefully evolve harmoniously. It can be messy and beautiful while offering a multitude of interconnected ways to survive. For us humans, it provides an ecological communication opportunity to thrive by sharing narratives that form an understanding of our interdependencies. It requires accepting what Nora Bateson describes as “Ready-ing.” She believes that “This process is open-ended, always sensitizing, ever-learning and taking place within an already existing aggregate of perceptions.”
THE BASICS
Why Relationships Matter
Find a therapist to strengthen relationships
In my experience and research, change is possible when it is understood and accepted how each plays a role in whatever communication problem may exist. I have found that knowing ourselves is an expression of all that lies between us. This is what influences our behaviors. It also proves the adage that as Gregory Bateson was fond of saying, “It takes two to know one.”
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Prompts: What is it like to be with another? (Think what is immanent in your relationships within the suggested contexts)
Start a short poem or narrative with the phrase; if I can change my life, I would be….
Imagine how your life can be enhanced if you take a moment each day and look beyond your immediate view, feelings, tastes, smells, and touches.
Ask questions that will change the narratives in your relationships
Those whom I’ve worked with have demonstrated how relationships that are healthy and reciprocal are sustained through a win-win communication volley. The consequence of adversarial or competitive interaction is like spiking the ball while volleying on a ping pong table. This results in both sides losing. A win-win volley consists of: Expressing/asking; Checking with all your senses if you are being heard; Restating or affirming your expression; and then, Reversing roles. These are the basic rules of win-win conversations.
RELATIONSHIPS ESSENTIAL READS
8 New Scientific Insights on Love and How It Fades Away
Keeping Your In-Laws Out of Your Relationship
We exist and evolve in our contexts which are simultaneously part of wider ones and so on. Asking questions is to learn from each other and it alters the growing narrative that influences subsequent contexts of our lives. What was evident in my observations was how little was known about each other’s perceptions and beliefs with those looking to improve their relationships.
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Prompts: How does being aware of the context of your interactions enhance your relationships?
How might your conversations be more conducive to getting your message heard?
Start a short poem or narrative with another that continues the phrase, when I am heard I……
(c) Kenneth Silvestri
Pausing(c) Kenneth Silvestri
Respect pauses and gaps when mutually communicating
In working on relationship issues, it is necessary to savor introspection. These liminal moments dissolve barriers that formerly hindered communication. This is where we become collaborators in discovering the unseen available resources to combine our insights. It is a space offering mutually-learned information that motivates the emergence of possibilities.
Prompts: Ask "how" questions to get to the depth of what mutual learning is available to each other.
Think of ways you can create contexts of collaboration and in what ways you can adjust and maintain them.
What are the causes that hinder collaboration in your life?
Avoid compromises that stifle mutual learning
What was obvious in my observation of relational equity is that there was little success in trying to compromise. We all lose something when we compromise. The skill and opportunity to have win-win results are to blend with conflict. Compromise interrupts the creativity that is available to all of us, especially since aestheticism is the human metaphor for how nature works.
Prompts: How can you alter adaptive behaviors of communication that have left you unfulfilled?
How did you push through obstacles and produce outcomes that you may have thought were impossible?
Have you ever been in a conflict situation where the outcome could have been less injurious had you considered other options?
Most of those in my practice articulate how quick-fix cultural constraints hindered their ability to avoid narrow cause-and-effect reasoning. An exercise that I have used is to imagine that you have a built-in lens that zooms in and out whenever you need it to see how each situation is simultaneously part of wider transcontextual situations. The goal of being interdependent depends on how we combine and share our intimacy. What was most articulated by those in this study was that when using this lens, change occurred in wild weird non-linear unpredictable ways.
Prompt: Discuss how “the map is not the territory."
What personal implications do you feel would result from accepting an ecological view of relationships?
How would you be if you could improvise within your relationships?
We are all half-baked, however, I have found that using the above ingredients can regardless, help nurture relationships to be interdependent. This becomes an ongoing journey to better fulfill ourselves through mutual learning to sustain our relationships.