PART 3 // chapter 2-4

[모나리자]

"그렇게 말하지는 않았지만, 당신이 옳다고 감히 말할 수 있습니다. 다만..." "뭐요?" "그는 아무도 사랑하지 않고, 아마도 앞으로도 사랑하지 않을 거예요." 라주미힌이 단호하게 선언했다. "그가 사랑할 줄 모른다는 말이에요?"

"아브도티아 로마노브나, 당신은 모든 면에서 정말 형과 똑같아요!" 그는 갑자기 스스로도 놀라며 말을 내뱉었다. 하지만 방금 전에 형에 대해 한 말을 떠올리자 게처럼 얼굴이 빨개지고 혼란스러워졌다. 아브도티아 로마노브나는 그를 바라보며 웃음을 참을 수 없었다.

"두 분 다 로디아에 대해 착각하신 것 같아요." 풀케리아 알렉산드로브나가 약간 화가 나서 말했다. "우리의 현재 어려움에 대해 말하는 게 아니에요, 두니아. 표트르 페트로비치가 이 편지에 쓴 내용과 당신과 내가 착각한 것일 수도 있다고 생각한 내용이 있지만, 드미트리 프로코피치, 당신은 그가 얼마나 변덕스럽고, 말하자면 변덕스러운지 상상할 수 없을 거예요. 그가 열다섯 살이었을 때 무슨 짓을 할지 나는 결코 기대할 수 없었다. 그리고 나는 그가 지금 다른 누구도 생각지 못할 일을 할 것이라고 확신한다... 글쎄, 예를 들어, 1년 반 전에 그가 그 여자와 결혼한다는 생각을 했을 때, 나를 놀라게 하고 거의 죽을 뻔한 충격을 준 것을 알고 있니? 그녀의 이름은 뭐였지? 그의 집주인의 딸이었어?"

"그 사건에 대해 들었어?" 아브도티아 로마노브나가 물었다. "그럴까——" 풀케리아 알렉산드로브나가 따뜻하게 말을 이었다. "내 눈물, 간청, 병, 슬픔으로 인한 죽음, 우리의 가난이 그를 멈추게 했을 거라고 생각해? 아니, 그는 모든 장애물을 차분히 무시했을 거야. 하지만 그가 우리를 사랑하지 않는 건 아니야!" "그는 나에게 그 사건에 대해 한 마디도 한 적이 없어." 라주미힌이 조심스럽게 대답했다.

"하지만 프라스코비야 파블로브나 본인에게서 뭔가를 들었어. 그녀는 결코 수다쟁이는 아니지만 말이야. 그리고 제가 들은 것은 확실히 다소 이상했습니다." "그리고 당신은 무엇을 들었어요?" 두 여인이 한꺼번에 물었습니다. "음, 별로 특별한 것은 없었어요. 저는 그 소녀의 죽음으로 인해 이루어지지 못한 결혼이 프라스코비야 파블로브나의 마음에 들지 않았다는 것만 알게 되었습니다. 그들은 그 소녀가 전혀 예쁘지 않았다고 말했고, 사실 저는 확실히 못생겼다고 들었습니다... 그리고 너무나 병약하고... 이상했습니다.

하지만 그녀는 몇 가지 좋은 자질을 가지고 있었던 것 같습니다. 그녀는 몇 가지 좋은 자질을 가지고 있었을 것입니다. 아니면 설명할 수 없습니다.... 그녀는 돈도 없었고 그는 그녀의 돈을 고려하지 않았을 것입니다.... 하지만 그런 문제는 항상 판단하기 어렵습니다." "그녀가 좋은 소녀였을 거라고 확신합니다." 아브도티아 로마노브나가 잠깐 말했습니다. "신이 저를 용서해 주세요. 저는 그저 그녀의 죽음을 기뻐했을 뿐입니다. 하지만 그 중 어느 쪽이 다른 쪽에게 가장 큰 불행을 안겼을지 모르겠습니다. 그가 그녀에게, 아니면 그녀가 그에게" 풀케리아 알렉산드로브나가 결론을 내렸습니다.

그런 다음 그녀는 전날 루진과 있었던 일에 대해 주저하며 그에게 물어보기 시작했고, 주저하며 두니아를 계속 쳐다보았는데, 당연히 두니아는 짜증이 났다. 이 사건은 다른 모든 사건보다 그녀를 불안하게 했고, 심지어 당황하게 했다. 라주미힌은 다시 자세히 설명했지만, 이번에는 자신의 결론을 더했다. 그는 라스콜니코프가 고의로 표트르 페트로비치를 모욕했다고 공개적으로 비난했고, 그의 병에 대해 변명하려는 것이 아니었다.

"그는 병이 들기 전에 계획했어요."라고 그는 덧붙였다. "나도 그렇게 생각해요." 풀케리아 알렉산드로브나는 낙담한 어조로 동의했다. 하지만 그녀는 라주미힌이 표트르 페트로비치에 대해 그렇게 조심스럽게, 심지어 어느 정도 존경심을 가지고 자신을 표현하는 것을 듣고 매우 놀랐다. 아브도티아 로마노브나도 그것에 충격을 받았다.

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“I didn’t say so; but I daresay you are right, only...” “What?” “He loves no one and perhaps he never will,” Razumihin declared decisively. “You mean he is not capable of love?”

“Do you know, Avdotya Romanovna, you are awfully like your brother, in everything, indeed!” he blurted out suddenly to his own surprise, but remembering at once what he had just before said of her brother, he turned as red as a crab and was overcome with confusion. Avdotya Romanovna couldn’t help laughing when she looked at him.

“You may both be mistaken about Rodya,” Pulcheria Alexandrovna remarked, slightly piqued. “I am not talking of our present difficulty, Dounia. What Pyotr Petrovitch writes in this letter and what you and I have supposed may be mistaken, but you can’t imagine, Dmitri Prokofitch, how moody and, so to say, capricious he is. I never could depend on what he would do when he was only fifteen. And I am sure that he might do something now that nobody else would think of doing... Well, for instance, do you know how a year and a half ago he astounded me and gave me a shock that nearly killed me, when he had the idea of marrying that girl—what was her name—his landlady’s daughter?”

“Did you hear about that affair?” asked Avdotya Romanovna. “Do you suppose——” Pulcheria Alexandrovna continued warmly. “Do you suppose that my tears, my entreaties, my illness, my possible death from grief, our poverty would have made him pause? No, he would calmly have disregarded all obstacles. And yet it isn’t that he doesn’t love us!” “He has never spoken a word of that affair to me,” Razumihin answered cautiously.

“But I did hear something from Praskovya Pavlovna herself, though she is by no means a gossip. And what I heard certainly was rather strange.” “And what did you hear?” both the ladies asked at once. “Well, nothing very special. I only learned that the marriage, which only failed to take place through the girl’s death, was not at all to Praskovya Pavlovna’s liking. They say, too, the girl was not at all pretty, in fact I am told positively ugly... and such an invalid... and queer.

But she seems to have had some good qualities. She must have had some good qualities or it’s quite inexplicable.... She had no money either and he wouldn’t have considered her money.... But it’s always difficult to judge in such matters.” “I am sure she was a good girl,” Avdotya Romanovna observed briefly. “God forgive me, I simply rejoiced at her death. Though I don’t know which of them would have caused most misery to the other—he to her or she to him,” Pulcheria Alexandrovna concluded.

Then she began tentatively questioning him about the scene on the previous day with Luzhin, hesitating and continually glancing at Dounia, obviously to the latter’s annoyance. This incident more than all the rest evidently caused her uneasiness, even consternation. Razumihin described it in detail again, but this time he added his own conclusions: he openly blamed Raskolnikov for intentionally insulting Pyotr Petrovitch, not seeking to excuse him on the score of his illness.

“He had planned it before his illness,” he added. “I think so, too,” Pulcheria Alexandrovna agreed with a dejected air. But she was very much surprised at hearing Razumihin express himself so carefully and even with a certain respect about Pyotr Petrovitch. Avdotya Romanovna, too, was struck by it.