평화의 어머니 2 - 10. 오랜 고행 끝에 찾은 뜻길

[대태양/김현수]

평화의 어머니
2장 나는 독생녀로서 이 땅에 왔습니다

10. 오랜 고행 끝에 찾은 뜻길

1 대구로 내려온 우리는 성주교의 정석천과 그의 가족을 만났습니다. 반가움이 이만저만 아니었습니다. 그는 오랫동안 헤어졌던 형제라도 만난 것처럼 무척 기뻐했습니다. 천산의 성주교는 일제의 탄압과 공산당의 극악스러운 핍박으로 거의 사라졌음에도 정석천은 뜻을 기필코 이루기 위해 계속 예배를 드리며 재림주님을 맞이할 준비를 하고 있었습니다. 부지런히 광산사업도 하고 쌀과 석유 장사도 해서 살림이 궁색하지는 않았습니다.

2 어머니는 그에게 당부를 잊지 않았습니다.
"우리는 북한에 있을 때 허호빈 부인을 통해 은혜를 많이 받았고 큰 역사가 있었어요. 재림주님은 곧 한국에 오실 것이니 그를 맞이하기 위해 힘써 기도해야 해요."

3 흩어졌던 신도들이 모여 열심히 기도하던 어느 날, 어머니는 재림주님을 만나기 위해서는 더 정성스러운 생활을 해야 한다는 하늘의 계시를 받았습니다.
"기도만 해서는 안 되고 생식을 해야 한다."

4 어머니는 생솔잎을 먹었는데, 그나마 쪄서 먹으면 괜찮았으련만 솔잎을 그냥 생으로 먹다 보니 이가 몹시 상했습니다. 그러면서 하나밖에 없는 딸을 공부 시켜야겠다는 생각에 장사를 시작했습니다. 어머니는 북한에서 결혼 전에는 비교적 유복하게 생활했습니다. 외할아버지가 농사를 크게 지었고, 외할머니가 재봉틀 상회를 운영한 덕분에 시골에서는 드물게 남매 모두 상급학교를 다녔습니다. 외할아버지는 어머니에게 늘 가르침을 주었습니다.
"아무리 어려워도 남에게 신세를 지면 안 된다."

5 그 말을 지키기 위해 어머니는 조그만 구멍가게를 열었습니다. 그런데 김칫국과 솔잎, 땅콩을 하루에 두 번만 먹고 장사를 하려니 몸이 늘 피곤하고 허약했습니다. 제대로 먹지 못해 기운은 없었으나 오히려 정신은 더 맑았습니다. 외할머니가 그 모습을 보고 놀라면서도 측은해하지 않을 수 없었습니다.
"그렇게 먹고 어떻게 장사를 하느냐. 정말 기적 같은 일이구나."

6 어머니는 굶주린 채 돈도 많이 벌지 못하면서 석 달 가량 장사를 했습니다. 신앙심이 워낙 깊어 '무조건 믿어야 한다' 고만 알고 있었습니다. 안타깝게도 현실과의 타협이라는 것을 몰랐습니다. 그렇게 죽을 고생을 하면서도 딸이 세속에 물들지 않고 순수하게 자랄 수 있도록 늘 마음을 기울였습니다.

7 나는 봉산동에 있는 대구초등학교에 들어가 공부를 했습니다. 얼굴뿐만 아니라 자태가 점점 더 예뻐지고 공부를 잘해서 친구들에게 인기가 많았고 어른들에게도 귀여움을 많이 받았습니다.

8 어느 날 오후, 어머니가 가게를 지키고 있을 때 나는 가게 앞 골목에 나와 혼자 놀고 있었습니다. 어떤 사람이 지나가다가 나를 보고 우뚝 멈추어 섰습니다. 눈빛이 형형한 도인이었습니다. 어머니는 가게에서 나와 도인에게 공손히 인사를 했습니다. 도인은 나를 가리키며 물었습니다.
"아주머니 딸입니까?"

9 그러더니 따스하고 깊은 눈빛으로 나를 바라보았습니다. 내가 어머니에게 눈길을 돌리자 도인을 말문을 열었습니다.
"어머니는 따님 하나 바라보고 사시는데, 열 아들 부럽지 않은 딸이니 훌륭하게 기르세요. 그런데 이 딸은 머지않아 시집을 가게 됩니다. 남편 될 사람은 나이가 많은데, 훗날 바다와 육지와 하늘을 넘나드는 출중한 능력을 가진 큰 인물일 겁니다."
그렇게 말하는 도인이 무척 진지해 보였습니다.

10 어머니는 하나밖에 없는 딸을 더 정결하게 키워야겠다는 마음으로 1954년 제주도 서귀포로 건너갔습니다. 번잡한 대도시를 떠나 깨끗한 자연 속에서 나를 키우기 위함이었습니다. 그곳에서 정석천의 아우 정석진 일가와 함께 9개월을 보냈습니다.

11 어머니는 내가 초등학교를 졸업한 다음에 세상과는 무관한 가운데 주님을 위한 성녀의 길을 걷게 하려고 했습니다. 하나님의 딸로서 소명을 받기까지는 단지 순결해야 한다는 생각으로 정성을 쏟았습니다. 나는 신효초등학교 5학년으로 전학했는데, 한창 뛰어놀 나이에 가혹하리만큼 혹독하게 신앙생활을 했습니다. 그래서 나는 기도, 경배, 정성으로 대부분의 시간을 보냈습니다.

12 어머니는 납작보리를 불려서 무김치 하나를 곁들여 생식을 했고 나는 그나마 좁쌀로 지은 밥을 먹었습니다. 어머니는 그렇게 고생스러운 생각을 하면서도 농민들이 일하는 모습을 보면 그냥 지나치지 못하고 밭으로 들어가 보리갈이를 도와 주었습니다.

13 길을 걷다가 짐을 지고 가는 사람이 있으면 집까지 져다 주었습니다.그런 어머니를 보고 사람들은 감탄해 마지않았습니다.
"세상에, 이렇게 자상한 사람이 다 있네."
"그러게나 말이예요. 교회를 열심히 다닌다고 하던데, 역시 다르긴 다르네요."
어머니는 그렇게 누군가를 도와주는 일을 생활 가운데 늘 실천함으로써 신앙인의 모범을 보여 주었습니다.

14 외삼촌은 전쟁이 끝날 무렵 결혼을 해서 가정을 꾸렸습니다. 외할머니는 아들 내외와 함께 서울에서 지내다가 딸과 외손녀가 어떻게 지내는지 궁금해 제주도로 내려왔습니다. 외삼촌은 강원도 춘천으로 발령이 나자 곧 우리에게 기별을 했습니다.
"제주도 생활을 정리하고 춘천으로 오세요."

15 외할머니도 "학자를 가까이에 두고 보는 것이 내 삶의 유일한 낙이다"라며 함께 육지로 나가자고 간곡히 말씀하셨습니다. 어머니와 나는 제주도를 떠나 외할머니가 사는 약사동 근처에 조그만 방을 얻어 춘천 생활을 시작했습니다.

16 나는 1955년 2월 봉의 초등학교로 전학하고 곧 6학년이 되었습니다. 학교에는 아름드리 플라타너스가 큰 그늘을 드리웠는데, 그 아래에서 책을 읽던 기억이 납니다. 또 학교 옆에 연탄공장이 있어서 오갈 때마다 운동화에 연탄가루가 묻었던 기억이 새롭습니다. 이듬해인 1956년 봉의초등학교를 제 11회로 졸업했는데, 전쟁통에 학교 네 곳을 거친 끝에야 졸업장을 받았습니다. 공부를 잘해서 졸업식 때 우등상도 받았습니다.

17 주님을 만나려는 어머니의 간절함에 하늘이 드디어 응답했습니다. 우리 모녀를 보살피는 하나님은 손길을 거두지 않았습니다. 우리보다 먼저 남한으로 내려와 대구에서 살던 정석천은 항상 모친 김성도의 유언을 기억하며 실천하려 했습니다.

18 "하나님이 맡기신 뜻을 내가 성사하지 못하면 다른 사람을 통해서라도 이룰 것이다. 주님이 오시는 단체는 음란집단으로 오해보다 핍박을 당하고 옥고를 치를 것이다. 그런 교회가 나타나면 참된 교회인 줄 알고 찾아가거라."

19 그래서 그는 집에서 열심히 예배드리면서 이곳저곳의 교회에서 부흥회가 열리면 부지런히 찾아 다녔습니다. 그러던 1955년 5월, 그는 <동아일보>에 실린 이화여대 퇴학 사건 관련 기사 한 토막을 읽었습니다. 통일교회에 나간다는 이유로 이화여대 교수 5명이 해직되고, 학생 14명이 강제 퇴학되었다는 내용이었습니다.

20 모친의 예언이 이루어지고 있음을 직감한 정석천은 부산에 사는 누나에게 편지를 보냈습니다. 누나는 딸과 함께 신문 조각을 들고 무작정 서울 청파동으로 올라왔으나 문 총재는 만나지 못하고 부산 통일교회를 소개받아 다시 부산으로 내려갔습니다. 그리고 대구에 있는 정석천에게 이 사실을 알렸습니다.

21 정석천은 대구 통일교회를 찾아가 원리말씀을 듣고 그 자리에서 통일교 신도가 되었습니다. 그런데 입교한 지 열흘 만인 7월 4일에 문 총재가 투옥되는 충격적인 사건이 일어났습니다. 서울로 올라온 정석천은 서대문 형무소에서 문 총재를 면회하고 큰 격려를 받았습니다. 문 총재가 10월 4일 무죄로 석방되자 정석천은 대구 살림을 모두 정리하고 서울로 올라와 뜻길에 헌신하게 되었습니다.

22 문 총재는 출소 후에 대구를 방문했습니다. 그때 춘천으로 이사한 어머니는 하얀 용이 품에 안기는 꿈을 꾸었습니다. 하얀 용이 누구를 의미하는지, 품에 안기는 것은 또 무엇을 뜻하는지 정확히 알 수 없었으나 조만간 큰일이 닥치리라는 예감이 들었습니다. 마침 정석천이 보낸 편지를 읽고 곧장 대구로 내려갔습니다. 그러나 문 총재는 이미 서울로 올라간 후여서 만나지 못했습니다.

23 아쉬운 마음으로 대구를 떠나려 할 때 또 꿈을 꾸었었습니다. 황금용 한 쌍이 서울을 향해 엎드려 있는 꿈이었습니다. 어머니는 그 꿈을 가슴 깊이 새기고 서울로 올라와 한달음에 청파동 교회를 찾아갔습니다. 그곳에서 처음으로 문 총재를 뵙고 인사를 올렸습니다. 꿈에 나타난 하얀 용이 누구인지 궁금증이 풀렸습니다. 그때가 1955년 겨울 초입이었습니다. 30년 넘게 온갖 고행을 하며 꿈에 그리던 재림주님을 만나 더할 수 없이 감복했습니다. 그러나 황금용 한 쌍은 누구인지, 그 수수께끼는 풀지 못했습니다.

24 어머니의 감복과 달리 문 총재는 다른 식구들에게는 다정하게 대화하면서도 유독 어머니만은 냉대했습니다. 어머니는 서러운 마음이 들고 한편으로는 앞이 캄캄했으나 묵묵히 쉬지 않고 기도했습니다. 하루는 문 총재가 예수님의 심정에 대해 설교하면서 이렇게 말했습니다.
"옛날 이스라엘 민족은 참아버지로 오신 예수님을 맞아들이지 못하고 십자가에서 돌아가시게 했어요. 그 죄가 얼마나 큰지 알아요!"

25 그 말씀을 들으며 어머니는 성전 한구석에서 처음부터 끝까지 마냥 울기만 했습니다. 그 이야기를 전해 들은 문 총재는 어머니를 불러 하늘의 소명을 받은 사람은 하늘은 물론 사탄의 시험까지 통과해야 한다며 위로해 주었습니다 그러자 지금까지 냉대받은 서러움이 어머니 마음속에서 봄눈 녹듯 사라졌습니다. 굳건한 믿음을 갖게 된 어머니는 곧 춘천으로 내려가 개척전도를 시작했습니다.

平和の母
第二章 私は独り娘としてこの地上に来ました
10. 長い苦難の末にたどり着いたみ旨の道

大邱に下った私たちは、聖主教の鄭錫天とその家族に会いました。無事に会えた喜びは、大変なものでした。鄭錫天も、長い間離別していた兄弟にでも会ったかのように、 非常に喜んでくれました。

鉄山の聖主教は、日本の弾圧と共産党の恐ろしい迫害によってほとんど消えかけていましたが、鄭錫天はみ旨を必ずや果たそうと、礼拝を捧げながら再臨主を迎える準備をしていました。鉱山事業を営みつつ、堅実に米や石油の商売も手掛け、暮らしに困窮してはいませんでした。

私の母は、彼に切実に訴えました。

「私たちが北にいる時、許浩彬女史を通してたくさんの恩恵を受け、大きな役事がありました。再臨主はもうすぐ韓国に来られます。その方をお迎えするために、精いっぱい祈らなければなりません」

こうして、散らばっていた信徒たちが集まり、再び熱心に祈りを捧げるようになったのです。そんなある日、母は、再臨主に会うためにはもっと精誠を込めた生活をしなければならないという天の啓示を受けました。

「祈るだけではいけない。生食をしなければ」

母は松の葉を生で食べて過ごすようになりました。蒸して食べれば問題ない松葉ですが、それを生で食べ続けたため、歯をひどく傷めてしまいました。

また、一人しかいない娘に勉強をさせてやらなければという思いから、母は商いを始めました。祖父が農業を大きく手掛け、祖母もミシン商会を営んでいたおかげで、母は結婚するまで、比較的裕福な生活をしていました。田舎では珍しく、姉弟共に上級学校に通ったほどです。

その祖父が、母にいつも言い聞かせていたことがありました。

「どれほど大変でも、他人の世話になってはいけない」

その言葉を守るために、母は小さな店を開いたのです。ところが、キムチ汁と松葉、ピーナッツを一日二回だけ食べる生活をしていたので、いつも体に疲労が残り、弱っているように見えました。ただ、ろくに食べないので元気はありませんでしたが、精神は澄み切っているようでした。祖母はそんな母を不憫に思わずにはいられなかったようです。

「これしか食べずにどうやって商売ができるのだろう。本当に奇跡のようだ」

母は空腹に耐えながら、わずかなお金を稼ぐため、三カ月ほど商売をしました。人一倍、強い信仰心で、「無条件、信じなければならない」とだけ考えていました。現実と妥協するということを知らなかったのです。そうして死ぬほど苦労をしながらも、娘が世俗に染まらず純粋に育つように、常に意識を傾けていました。

私は、鳳山洞にある大邱小学校に入って、勉強を続けました。勉強はできるほうで、友達もたくさんいました。なぜか、大人たちからもかわいがられました。

ある日の午後、母の店の前で一人遊ぶ私を見て、通りすがりの人が足を止めました。キラキラと目が輝く道人でした。母が店から出てきて丁重に挨拶をすると、その人は私を指さして尋ねました。

「あなたのお嬢さんですか？」

道人は、温かく深い眼差しで私を見つめました。母が領くのを見て、彼は言葉を続けました。「この娘は、十人の息子にも勝るので、しっかり育ててください。遠くないうちに、年の差が大きい人と結婚する貴い娘です。陸海空の財産を持つ富者として暮らすでしょう」

真摯に話す道人の言葉が、 胸に響きました。

母はたった一人の娘をさらに清く育てなければならないと思い、一九五四年、済州島の西帰浦に渡りました。雑然とした大都市を離れ、清らかな自然の中で私を育てるためでした。そこで、鄭錫天の弟である鄭ソクチン一家と九ヵ月間、共に生活しました。

母は私に、小学校卒業後、世の中とは関係のない、主のための聖女の道を歩ませようとしました。神様の娘として召命を受けるためには、純潔でなければならないという思いで、精誠を尽くしたのです。新孝小学校の五年に転入した私は、遊びたい盛りの年に、過酷とも言えるほどの厳しい信仰生活をすることになりました。祈祷、敬拝、精誠を捧げることに、ほとんどの時間を費やすようになったのです。

母はふやかした押し麦に、大根キムチを一つ添えて生食をし、私は栗と一緒に炊いた御飯を食べて過ごしました。母は生食をしながらも、農民が働いている姿を見ると、そのまま通り過ぎることができず、畑に入って仕事を手伝いました。また、道を歩いていて重い荷物を背負っている人を見かければ、家まで担いであげました。そのような母の姿を見て、人々はただただ感嘆するばかりでした。

「何とも、奇特な人がいるものだね」

「教会に熱心に通っているそうだけど、やはり違うな」

母は誰かを助けることを生活の中で常に実践し、信仰者としての模範を示してくれました。

叔父は戦争が終わる頃に結婚し、家庭を持っていました。祖母は息子夫婦と一緒にソウルに住んでいましたが、母と私がどのように過ごしているのか気になるようで、済州島にまで訪ねてきました。ある日、江原道の春川勤務の発令を受けた叔父から連絡が来ました。

「済州島の生活を整理して、春川に来てください」

祖母も、「鶴子を近くで毎日見るのが、私の人生の唯一の楽しみだ」と言って、本土に来るよう、懇願しました。こうして、母と私は済州島を離れ、祖母の住まいの近く、薬司洞に小さな部屋を借りて、春川での生活を始めることになったのです。

私は一九五五年二月、鳳儀小学校に転校し、ほどなくして六年生になりました。学校には大きなプラタナスの木があったのですが、その木陰で本を読んでいたことが思い出されます。学校の隣には練炭工場があり、登下校のたびに運動靴に練炭の粉が付いていたこともよく覚えています。

翌年の一九五六年、私は鳳儀小学校を第十一期生として卒業しました。戦争が起きる中、四つの学校を転々とした末に、受け取った卒業証書でした。学業優秀者として、卒業式の時に優等賞ももらいました。

そのような中で、主に出会うために捧げる母の切実な精誠に、天がついに応えてくださいました。私たちを見守ってこられた神様は、そのみ手を決して放されなかったのです。

私たちより先に南に下り、大邸で暮らしていた鄭錫天は、金聖道の遺言をいつも心に留め実践しようとしていました。

「神様から任されたみ旨を私が成し遂げられなければ、他の人を通してでも成し遂げるだろう。主が来られる団体は、淫乱集団だと誤解され、迫害を受けて投獄もされるはずだ。そのような教会が現れれば、真なる教会だと思って訪ねていきなさい」

彼は家で熱心に礼拝を捧げながら、復興会が開かれると聞けば、あちらの教会、こちらの教会とこまめに訪ねていきました。そうして、一九五五年五月、「東亜日報」に載った梨花女子大学退学事件に関する記事を目にしたのです。

それは、統一教会は淫乱集団の疑いがあり、そこに顔を出しているという理由で、梨花女子大の教授たち五人が解雇され、学生も十四人、強制的に退学させられたという内容でした。

母親の予言が現実のものとなっていることを直感した鄭錫天は、釜山に住む自分の姉に手紙を送りました。彼の姉は娘と共に、新聞の切れ端を握ってすぐさまソウルの青坂洞に向かいましたが、文総裁には会うことができず、釜山の統一教会を紹介されて戻りました。

姉から連絡を受けた鄭錫天は、今度は自ら大邱の統一教会を訪ねて「統一原理」を聞き、すぐに信徒になりました。ところが、入教して十日後の七月四日、文総裁が投獄されるという衝撃的な事件が起きたのです。

それでも、鄭錫天はソウルの西大門刑務所を訪問して文総載と面会し、大きな励ましを受けました。そして文総裁が十月四日に無罪で釈放されると、鄭錫天は大邱での生活をすべて整理してソウルに上り、み旨の道を献身的に歩むようになったのです。

出監後、文総裁が大邱を訪問することがありました。その頃、春川にいた母が、ある夢を見ました。それは白い龍が自分の懐に入ってくるというものだったのですが、その夢が何を意味するのか、はっきりとは分かりませんでした。

ただ、近いうちに大きなことが起こるだろうという予感だけはありました。そのような折に鄭錫天から手紙が届き、すぐに大邱に向かったのです。しかし、文総裁は既にソウルに戻った後だったので、その時は会うことができませんでした。

残念に思いながら大邱を去ろうとした時、母はまた夢を見ました。一対の黄金の龍がソウルに向かってひれ伏している夢でした。母はその夢を胸深く刻み、休む間もなくソウルに行くと青披洞教会を訪ねました。こうして、そこで初めて文総裁にお会いし、御挨拶ができたのです。一九五五年十二月のことでした。それはまた、白い龍の現れた夢が何を意味していたのか、疑問が解けた瞬間でもありました。

長年にわたって、あらゆる苦行をしながら夢に描いてきた再臨主に会うことができ、母はこれ以上ないほど感激していました。しかし、一対の黄金の龍の夢が何を意味しているのか、まだ解くことはできませんでした。

母の感激とは裏腹に、文総裁は他の信徒には優しく接しながら、母にだけは冷たく当たりました。母は目の前が真っ暗になり、胸が張り裂けるようでしたが、休むことなく、黙々と祈りました。

ある日、文総裁がイエス様の心情について説教で話しながら、 このように言いました。「昔、イスラエル民族は真の父として来られたイエス様を迎え入れることができず、十字架にかけてしまった。その罪がどれほど大きいことか！」

その言業を聞いた母は、礼拝堂の片隔で説教が終わるまで、ただただ涙を流していました。すると、そのことを伝え聞いた文総裁があとで母を呼び、天の召命を受けた人は、サタンからはもちろん、天からの試験までも通過しなければならないと語りながら、慰労してくださったのです。それまで感じていた寂しさは、春に雪が溶けてなくなるように、母の心の中から消え去っていきました。

確固たる信仰を持った母は、すぐに春川に向かい、開拓伝道を始めました。

MOTHER of PEACE
CHAPTER 2. I CAME INTO THIS WORLD AS THE ONLY BEGOTTEN DAUGHTER
10. The way of God's will

By God's hand, on our way to Daegu we met Jeong Seok-cheon, a member of the Holy Lord Church, to which my family had belonged in Cholsan. He was very pleased to see us, and we all felt as if we were meeting long-lost relatives.

The Holy Lord Church was the church in which my parents were married, and Jeong Seok-cheon's mother, Kim Seong-do, was its founder. She was one of many female church leaders in the northern part of Korea whose devotion to Jesus was unparalleled and who had received revelations of what was to come.

The Holy Lord Church had withered due to Japanese persecution, and the Communist Party's brutal oppression had put an end to it and all churches in the North. Escaping to the South, Jeong Seok-cheon continued to worship God.

With scattered Holy Lord Church members who had found each other, he created a prayer group in Daegu. He maintained his ardor to accomplish God's will and prepared himself to meet the returning Lord. He also worked diligently and had a good livelihood managing mining, rice and oil businesses. Mr. Jeong organized our lodging in Daegu.

My mother made a simple request of him. 'When we were in North Korea,” she said, “we received much grace through Mrs. Heo Ho-bin, and there were great works.” Mr. Jeong knew of Rev. Heo, whose congregation had prepared food and clothes for Jesus, as well as for the Second Coming Lord. “As the Lord will return to Korea soon,” my mother said to Mr. Jeong, “please, let us pray very hard to welcome him.'

One morning, during the Daegu group's intense prayer, my mother received a revelation from Heaven. God told her that she had to live a life of greater devotion if she wanted to meet the Lord at the Second Advent. “Prayer alone is not enough,” she was told. “You have to eat your food uncooked.” My mother began to subsist on pine needles, which would have been digestible had they been steamed, but she ate them raw, even though they badly damaged her teeth.

My mother had come from a relatively well-to-do family. Her father had owned a large farm, and her mother had a sewing-machine shop, so they were able to pay for my mother and her brother to attend high school.

My maternal grandfather always taught my mother, “No matter how hard things may be, you must never be indebted to others.” Abiding by his words, there in Daegu my mother opened a small shop, thinking that it would provide enough money to enable her to re-enroll her only daughter in elementary school.

Daily subsistence of two meals of kimchi broth, raw pine needle tips and peanuts, plus taking care of her shop, exhausted my mother's physical frame. A normal person would have eased off that discipline, but for my mother, her mind only became clearer. When I saw her serene countenance, while feeling sympathy for her, I could not help but be amazed.

“How can she run a business while consuming so little?” I asked myself. “It is nothing less than a miracle.” My mother maintained a near-starvation diet, and her shop did not bring a profit for three months.

Most people would have given up, but her faith was deep and, with supreme confidence that she was upholding God's dream, she persevered unconditionally. She did not compromise with reality. With the Holy Spirit, she created her own reality.

No matter her plight, my mother surrendered her mind to her search for Jesus. Now, as I began to mature, she added to that the task of providing her daughter a spiritually safe environment.

She wanted me to reach maturity in an environment of internal and external purity, and she considered how to separate me as much as possible from the influence of the secular world.

I was attending Daegu Elementary School in a neighborhood called Bongsan-dong. As time passed, not only my face but also my bearing became attractive. I was good at my studies, so I soon became popular among my friends, and I was well-liked by many adults as well. One afternoon, I was playing alone on the narrow street in front of the shop, with my mother inside.

A Buddhist monk walked by, and I caught his eye and he stopped. I returned his gaze, and I remember his piercing eyes. My mother came out and bowed politely to him. Pointing to me, he asked, “Is she your daughter?” Hearing her affirmative answer, his eyes turned warm and deep. As I turned to look at my mother, the holy man spoke.

'You live with only one daughter, but don't envy someone who has ten sons. Please raise her well. This daughter of yours is going to be married at a young age. Her future husband may be older than she is, but he'll be a great man with outstanding ability that transcends the sea, the land and the skies.”

My mother took the ascetic's words seriously. Acting on her intention to rear her only daughter in the most serene and secure surroundings, in 1954 my mother moved us to Jeju Island off the southern coast of the Korean Peninsula, to the town of Seogwipo.

She wanted to leave the crowded city streets and allow me to mature in the pristine countryside. We spent our first nine months on Jeju with the family of Jeong Seok-jin, the younger brother of our Holy Lord Church friend, Jeong Seok-cheon.

On Jeju, as she had everywhere, my mother led me on the path of sainthood for the Lord, with no thought of worldly matters, and this fit my emerging personality very well. I read biographies of saintly women and devoted myself to the ideal of complete purity in preparation to receive my calling as the Daughter of God.

Once settled in Seogwipo, I enrolled in Shinhyo Elementary School as a fifth-grader. At the age of 11, while my classmates were running around and playing, I lived a rigorous and strict life of faith. With my grandmother and mother, I devoted myself to prayer, study and worship.

My mother soaked flattened barley in water and added it to radish kimchi for her raw food diet, while I ate millet porridge. Even though weak due to nutritional privation, when she saw farmers working the barley fields, my mother could not resist helping with the plowing. If she saw someone having difficulty carrying a load, she would volunteer to carry it for them.

Without her saying a word, people were filled with admiration. “I've never met such a thoughtful person,' one village woman would say to another, who would respond, “That's what I'm saying. I heard she's a regular churchgoer, but still, she is so different from the others.”

My mother lived the exemplary life of an authentically religious person, always putting her faith into practice by helping others. She studied the Bible and shared with me the teachings of the Holy Lord Church and the Inside-the-Womb Church that Jesus would return as a man in the flesh, just as he had come 2,000 years ago, that he would find his holy bride and hold the marriage supper of the Lamb, as the Bible prophesies, and that all this would take place in Korea.

From her I learned the meaning of Jesus' Second Advent and could imagine it and taste and touch it. And from my mother, I learned the meaning of true discipleship.

My uncle, who had rescued us at the outbreak of the Korean War, married at the end of that war, and Grandmother Jo went to live with him and his new bride in Seoul.

Within a few months, she was longing to see her daughter and granddaughter, and she came to visit us on Jeju Island. While she was with us, my uncle was posted to the city of Chuncheon, some 50 miles northeast of Seoul.

He sent us an abrupt but clear message: “Please wrap up your life on Jeju and move to Chuncheon.” Grandmother Jo urged us to comply, saying softly, with the pleading eyes of a loving matriarch, “My only pleasure in life is to have Hak Ja nearby and take care of her every day.”

That was it. In February 1955 we all three departed Jeju, bound for Chuncheon. My mother rented a small room for us in the Yaksa-dong neighborhood, and my grandmother lived with my uncle's family nearby. I enrolled in Bongui Elementary School and soon entered the sixth grade. On the school grounds stood a big sycamore tree, its circumference greater than I could reach around.

I read books under its abundant shade in the hot weather. There was a coal briquette factory next to the school, and my shoes would be covered with black soot when I walked past. All this springs out fresh in my memory. In the next year, 1956, I graduated from elementary school.

I was 13 and received my graduation certificate after having attended four different schools. Though I had been a student at Bongui but one year, I was honored at the graduation ceremony with an award for doing well in my studies.

God finally responded to my mother's ceaseless prayers and pleadings. His care for her once again was extended through Jeong Seok-cheon, our friend from the Holy Lord Church. Mr. Jeong remembered the last words of his late mother, the Holy Lord Church founder, Rev. Kim Seong-do : “If someone fails to accomplish what God has entrusted him to do,” his mother had said to him, “it must be accomplished through someone else.

The group to which the Lord is coming will be accused and slandered as a sex cult. Its members will be persecuted and imprisoned. If you hear of such a church, know that it may be the true church, and that you should personally investigate it and decide for yourself.'

So Mr. Jeong diligently traveled the country to participate in revival meetings. He did not find what he was looking for until May 1955, when he read in the Dong-A Ilbo, a Seoul newspaper, about an incident at Ewha Womans University.

Five Ewha professors had been fired from the faculty for joining a group called the Unification Church, led by a man they called Teacher Moon, and fourteen students had been expelled from the same school for the same reason.

Sensing the spirit of his prophetic mother, Mr. Jeong sent a letter with the newspaper clipping to his older sister in Busan. His sister took a look at the clipping and, without thinking twice, booked passage to Seoul with her daughter.

They arrived and found their way to the Jangchung-dong headquarters of the Unification Church, but were unable to meet its leader at that time. The members told her the location of the Unification Church in Busan, and she returned home. From there, she informed her younger brother what had happened and that there was another Unification Church branch in Daegu.

Jeong Seok-cheon visited the church in Daegu, listened to Divine Principle lectures, accepted its teachings and joined. Then out of the blue, ten days later, the local group was sent reeling. On July 4, Teacher Moon and several of our church members were incarcerated at Seodaemun Prison in Seoul.

Mr. Jeong traveled to Seoul to visit Teacher Moon in prison. In that visit he received inspiration and encouragement. Mr. Jeong knew that he had found the one whom Jesus had sent.

Some three months later, on October 4, Teacher Moon was acquitted of all the charges for which he had been imprisoned. At that point, Mr. Jeong secured his family's support in Daegu and moved to Seoul to devote himself full time to God's will.

After his release from Seodaemun, Teacher Moon visited Daegu. At that time, I was 12 years old, living with my family in Chuncheon, several hours north of Daegu. One morning, my mother told me that she had a dream of cuddling a white dragon in her arms. She did not know what the white dragon symbolized, nor what it meant to cradle it in her arms, but she said that something earth-shaking was about to transpire.

That very day she received a letter from Mr. Jeong about his meeting the Divine Principle movement, and meeting Teacher Moon in prison, and who Teacher Moon is, and that Teacher Moon was in Daegu. My mother left for Daegu immediately, only to find that Teacher Moon had returned to Seoul.

My mother felt deep regret, and while staying overnight in Daegu she had another dream. In it she saw a pair of golden dragons prostrating themselves in the direction of Seoul.

With this vision carved into her heart, she took the train to Seoul the next morning and proceeded to the Unification movement's newly purchased headquarters church in Cheongpa-dong. It was early in December 1955. There, she met the teacher of the Unification Church for the first time.

The moment she greeted him, she realized that the white dragon in her dream represented none other than him, and that he was the one she had been seeking. She was deeply moved to meet, in her lifetime on earth, the Lord at the Second Advent, for whom she had suffered and sacrificed for three decades. She stayed at Cheongpa-dong to study the Principle, and heard teachings that put together what she had learned in the Holy Lord Church and Inside-the-Womb Church.

With each lecture, her eyes were opened and her initial inspiration was confirmed. At times she pondered the meaning of her dream of the pair of golden dragons. Not coming up with anything, she put that out of her mind.

Despite my mother's admiration of him, and in contrast to his affectionate openness with everyone else, Teacher Moon related to my mother in a formal and reserved fashion.

As a result, she felt empty and a little bit isolated, with a feeling of lack of love lodging in her heart. She invested in prayer silently, without rest, erasing from her soul all the concepts and expectations she may have had about whom she was going to meet.

Then one Sunday, Teacher Moon preached a sermon about the heart of Jesus. He said, “The people of Israel did not welcome Jesus, who came as their True Father. They allowed him to die on the cross,” and asked the congregation, “Do you know how great was the sin they committed?' Upon hearing this, my mother withdrew into a corner of the church.

There she wept, crying her heart out for the remainder of the service. Teacher Moon viewed this, and after the service he called to my mother and consoled her, saying, “A person anointed by God must pass the test of Satan as well as that of Heaven.”

At that, like the snow melting in springtime, all sorrow disappeared from my mother's heart. Her faith in God became stronger than it ever was. Soon thereafter, she returned to Chuncheon to commence pioneer work for the Unification Church.

[최상덕]

감사합니다 아주