Danger of child molester

Danger of child molester




Dear Annie: I have to respond to your column about parents taking baths with children under the age of 5. I agree that it is perfectly normal if the parent is not a molester. The only problem is that you do not know who the molester is. Molesters do not wear a sign. They can fool anyone. Often, they seem to be the model parent.


I speak from experience. I am a social service worker and knew all the signs. Yet the "wonderful, religious man" I married was later found to be molesting his own children, starting when they were 3 years old. The children seemed bright, happy and very outgoing. Only after one of the children came forward to describe the years of abuse did the man confess and the enormity of his perversion become apparent. My husband's friends were judges, attorneys, doctors and ministers. No one suspected a thing.


There is no reason for children to bathe nude with their parents, ever. We live in a society permeated with sexual lasciviousness. Some people simply have no control after being inundated day after day with sexual thoughts and images.


Child molestation can ruin families for generations. We need to keep our children safe. Tell your readers to keep their clothes on around their children. Teach children that their bodies are private until they are married. Sex is awesome in the right context, but not otherwise. -- Nameless To Protect the Innocent


Dear Nameless: What a sad world we live in when parents cannot trust one another with their own children. It's true that molesters come in all shapes and sizes and you cannot always tell when one is living in your home. The best advice we can give is to keep your eyes and ears open, supervise all activities, and teach your children to respect their bodies and report anyone who tries to touch them improperly. Meanwhile, be careful not to transmit your anxieties to your kids.


Dear Annie: I read the letter from the single guy who didn't like to meet women in bars. Annie, why don't you proclaim every Tuesday night "Singles Night at the Supermarket"? Grocery managers could profit by providing a meet-and-chat area, or maybe even encourage a scavenger hunt. What a great environment to meet other singles! -- Not Lonely in Pensacola, Fla.


Dear Pensacola: That's a sweet idea, since many singles already meet others while shopping. Some grocers might want to give this a test run on slow days and start a new trend. Who knows? Maybe love could sprout between the carrots and the broccoli.


Dear Annie: The letter from "Never Been Kissed" really touched me. I did not have a serious boyfriend until I was 24 and didn't date at all in high school or college.


My advice to her is to relax. She first needs to be happy with herself before she can find happiness with others. Also, many guys experience an almost physical pain when rejected and often shy away. It doesn't hurt to ask them first.


I really liked your advice to ask friends to give her "the lowdown." I would add that she should also ask her male friends, if she has any. Guys usually have better insight into other guys. -- Finally Caught One


Dear Finally: Sometimes it helps simply to know you are not alone. Thanks for providing encouragement and for the great suggestions.


Dear Readers: Thursday, April 8, is National Alcohol Screening Day. If you or anyone you know has an alcohol problem, please call 1-800-697-6700 (TDD 1-800-206-6100) and make an appointment for a free, confidential screening.