self-concern and self-pity filled all their thoughts

[soso]

Selfish, not self-centred: 

for in such a life my mind would be directed towards a thousand things, not one of which is myself. 

The distinction is not unimportant. 

[One of the happiest men and most pleasing companions () I have ever known] was intently selfish.

On the other hand I have known people /capable of real sacrifice //whose lives were nevertheless a misery to themselves and others, because [self-concern and self-pity] filled all their thoughts.

Either condition will destroy the soul in the end.

But till the end, give me the man //who takes the best of everything (even at my expense)

and then talks of other things,

rather than the man //who serves me and talks of himself,

and whose very kindnesses are a continual reproach, a continual demand for pity, gratitude, and admiration.

From Surprised by Joy

Surprised by Joy: The Shape of My Early Life. Copyright © 1955 by C. S. Lewis Pte. Ltd. All rights reserved. Used with permission of HarperCollins Publishers.