One Big Way to Deal with Disappointment
There's something you need to give yourself before reaching any conclusions.
Updated April 26, 2024
Reviewed by Hara Estroff Marano
KEY POINTS
Whenever what happens in real life doesn't meet what you were expecting, the difference is disappointment.
Disappointment is inevitable because each given day rarely turns out exactly how you wanted it.
When you feel disappointed about something, don't assume that the story is already over.
When you feel disappointed, there's one big thing to give yourself.
Source: Photo by Pixabay from Pexels
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Bruce Y. Lee M.D., M.B.A.
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One Big Way to Deal with Disappointment
There's something you need to give yourself before reaching any conclusions.
Updated April 26, 2024
Reviewed by Hara Estroff Marano
KEY POINTS
Whenever what happens in real life doesn't meet what you were expecting, the difference is disappointment.
Disappointment is inevitable because each given day rarely turns out exactly how you wanted it.
When you feel disappointed about something, don't assume that the story is already over.
When you feel disappointed, there's one big thing to give yourself.
Source: Photo by Pixabay from Pexels
When you feel disappointed, make sure you read into the situation properly.Source: Photo by Pixabay from Pexels
The mathematical formula for disappointment is pretty straightforward.
It's essentially expectations minus reality equals disappointment.
Whenever what happens in real life doesn't meet what you were expecting, the difference is disappointment. For example, if you were assuming that you'd meet the love of your life the first day that you were on Tinder, chances are you suffered major disappointment.
If, on the other hand, you were hoping to find a man with a photo of himself shirtless while carrying a fish in his hand, then you probably weren't disappointed.
Search
Find Counselling (Town or Eircode)
Bruce Y. Lee M.D., M.B.A.
Bruce Y. Lee M.D., M.B.A.
A Funny Bone to Pick
CAREER
One Big Way to Deal with Disappointment
There's something you need to give yourself before reaching any conclusions.
Updated April 26, 2024
Reviewed by Hara Estroff Marano
KEY POINTS
Whenever what happens in real life doesn't meet what you were expecting, the difference is disappointment.
Disappointment is inevitable because each given day rarely turns out exactly how you wanted it.
When you feel disappointed about something, don't assume that the story is already over.
When you feel disappointed, there's one big thing to give yourself.
Source: Photo by Pixabay from Pexels
When you feel disappointed, make sure you read into the situation properly.Source: Photo by Pixabay from Pexels
The mathematical formula for disappointment is pretty straightforward.
It's essentially expectations minus reality equals disappointment. Whenever what happens in real life doesn't meet what you were expecting, the difference is disappointment.
For example, if you were assuming that you'd meet the love of your life the first day that you were on Tinder, chances are you suffered major disappointment.
If, on the other hand, you were hoping to find a man with a photo of himself shirtless while carrying a fish in his hand, then you probably weren't disappointed.
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Disappointment is part of life because each given day rarely turns out exactly how you wanted it.
Some days it may turn out better. But many days, things can turn out worse. After all, believe it or not, the world doesn't revolve around you.
Therefore, each day it's common to face a lot of microdisappointments along with some megadisappointments here and there.
A smaller disappointment such as receiving a fruitcake as a holiday gift when you expected basically anything else may dissipate readily in a bit of time.
But how about a bigger disappointment?
Deborah Heiser, Ph.D., an applied developmental psychologist specializing in midlife and aging and founder/CEO of The Mentor Project, once emphasized that when you feel disappointed about something, you shouldn't assume that the story is already over. Instead, ask yourself, "Is this really the end of the story?" Where does this disappointing event fall in the big picture, the big story of things?
Unless "The End" has appeared and the credits have started rolling, you could still be in Chapter 7 of the ten or twenty or maybe even hundred chapters that make up the entire story. Heck, you could be just in the very first scene of an epically long story line. So it may be quite premature to be disappointed about an outcome without knowing where it's ultimately going to lead you. This is a big-picture realization.
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For example, say you didn't get that job or promotion that you wanted. Sure, it's natural to be disappointed. But it doesn't necessarily mean that you will never ever get that job or promotion as future opportunities arise, especially if you work on improving yourself. The timing may not be right either. Alternatively, that failure may make you realize that the job you were seeking or currently hold isn't even the right fit for you. That disappointment could be the catalyst for you to seek a different, better-matching job.
The same applies to personal disappointment. Say your first meeting with someone goes poorly. It doesn't necessarily mean the end of the line with that person. Not everybody can be on their A-game all the time. On a given day or even week or month, people can be on their C-game, D-game, or even their WTF-game.