3월26일(수) 1.Internet romance 2. Hazing to death

Internet romance Dear Annie: I'm an 18-year-old girl who is smart, funny, cute and kind. The problem? I've never had a boyfriend or a date until now. I'm the oldest child in my family, so I'm kind of new to the whole thing. I met "Jacob" and we hit it off right away. We met face-to-face two weeks ago. Jacob is nice, quiet and only a year older than I am. I'd like my parents to meet Jacob, as kind of a reassurance thing, but I don't know how to tell them that we met online. I know they are going to ask and I don't want to lie, but they aren't crazy about the idea of meeting people by computer because of all the horror stories you hear. Is there a way to bring it up without them going completely nuts? -- Wanting Him Dear Wanting: Your parents should indeed meet Jacob, and the sooner, the better. Tell them about the new man in your life, and when they ask how you met, show them the site and let them see for themselves what's there. It might be more acceptable than they expect. (We trust it isn't a chat room for, say, vampires.) Either way, explain that you want them to get to know Jacob and hope they will give him a chance. We're betting they will. And if they like him, how you met will become irrelevant. Dear Annie: My husband is a medic serving in Iraq. I recently got a call from his 69-year-old mother letting me know she had been to the doctor with a bladder infection and a few more minor things. She didn't say whether the doctors thought it was cause for major concern. She told me not to tell my husband because she doesn't want him to worry. Do I respect her wishes and not say anything? His parents are country folk who don't understand a lot of medical jargon, and my husband is usually able to explain things to them. I think he'd want to know. He's not a worrier, especially about illness. What should I do? -- Army Wife in the Know Dear Army Wife: Say nothing to your husband for the moment. Mom needs to know she can trust you. Her problems seem manageable, especially since she is under the care of a physician. However, please encourage her to tell her son. Explain that he would want to know and that his medical knowledge will be helpful. In the meantime, keep tabs on her health and make it clear that if things worsen, her son will need to be informed. Dear Annie: Yesterday, I received a recorded phone message from a candidate who wanted my vote. I am on the National Do Not Call Registry. I realize that political candidates are not legally obligated to honor the list, but if this candidate cannot respect the preferences of his or her constituents in such a simple matter, how can that person represent our preferences if elected? I will not vote for this candidate. -- Mississippi Voter Dear Mississippi: We hope you phoned the candidate's campaign headquarters and explained why he or she was not getting your vote. But you might want to reconsider. According to the Federal Trade Commission, calls from political organizations, charities and telephone surveyors are still permitted, as are calls from companies with which you have an existing business relationship -- that means any company from which you've purchased something or have called to request information. Political solicitations are not considered telemarketing and are exempt, so we doubt they even bother to look at the lists. In fact, we're surprised you only received calls from one candidate. By the way, although registration was set to expire after five years, the FTC now plans to make the Registry permanent. Those who want more information, or who want to add their phone numbers, can call 1-888-382-1222 or go online to donotcall.gov.  2008.03.10  [EDITORIAL] Hazing to death Freshmen hazing appears to have claimed yet another life. A first-year college student attending an overnight retreat for new students -- known as an "orientation program" -- was found dead last Friday morning in his room. Although the police have yet to determine the cause, fellow students have said that they drank until late. There were many empty beer bottles strewn about the room where he died. In an earlier incident, a freshman died 20 days after he fell into a coma during this kind of initiation. A brain hemorrhage caused the coma, according to doctors. Although school officials said he got the brain injury during a physical training session, police determined that repeated beatings by upperclassmen led to his death. Every year around this time, we hear of freshmen dying during "orientation" programs. Many of these deaths involve forced heavy drinking. In recent years, physical violence has been responsible for a number of deaths, as well. The deaths of these young students are a great loss and tragedy not only for the families, but our society, as well. Hazing is not new. Nor is it a uniquely Korean problem. It's an old tradition that supposedly promotes group loyalty and camaraderie through shared suffering. However, when hazing results in serious injuries and even death, the whole practice has to be scrutinized. In a time where virtually everything is pushed to the extreme, hazing is one of the most disturbing affairs. There must be better ways to promote group identity than through compulsory binge drinking and sadism. Schools should be held responsible for the consequences of hazing when it takes place on campus or during school-sanctioned or organized programs. More importantly, students should be educated about responsible drinking. As for physical violence, they must learn that there is no place for physical abuse of any sort in college life or anywhere else. Several U.S. states have anti-hazing legislation, and, in France, hazing can result in up to six months in jail or a fine. If students and colleges cannot voluntarily curb the excesses of this ritual, laws should be enacted to safeguard against such abuse. It is time to reverse this brutal trend.   2008.03.10