PART 3 // chapter 5-2

[모나리자]

포르피리 페트로비치는 손님이 자기에게 약간의 용무가 있다는 말을 듣자마자 소파에 앉으라고 간청하고, 반대편에 앉아서 그가 용무를 설명할 때까지 기다렸다. 특히 낯선 사람에게는, 그리고 당신이 논의하는 내용이 당신의 생각에 그런 예외적인 엄숙함에 비해 너무나 중요하지 않은 경우, 조심스럽고 지나치게 진지한 태도로. 하지만 라스콜니코프는 간결하고 일관된 어조로 용무를 명확하고 정확하게 설명했고, 너무 만족스러워서 포르피리를 자세히 보는 데까지 성공했다. 포르피리 페트로비치는 그에게서 눈을 떼지 않았다.

같은 테이블에 마주앉은 라주미힌은 따뜻하고 참을성 없이 경청하며, 매 순간 지나치게 관심을 가지고 서로를 바라보았다. "바보야." 라스콜니코프가 스스로에게 맹세했다. "경찰에 정보를 제공해야 합니다." 포르피리가 대답했다.

아주 사무적인 태도로, "이 사건, 즉 살인 사건을 알게 된 당신은 사건을 담당한 변호사에게 이런저런 물건이 당신의 소유이며, 당신이 그것을 되찾고 싶어한다는 것을 알려달라고 간청해야 합니다... 아니면... 하지만 변호사가 당신에게 편지를 쓸 것입니다."

"바로 그것이 요점입니다. 지금 당장은" 라스콜니코프가 당혹감을 가장하려고 애썼다. "저는 돈이 충분하지 않습니다... 그리고 이 하찮은 돈조차도 저에게는 너무 힘듭니다... 저는 지금 당장 그 물건들이 제 소유라는 것을 선언하고 싶었을 뿐입니다. 그리고 돈이 생기면..." "그건 중요하지 않습니다." 포르피리 페트로비치가 그의 금전적 지위에 대한 설명을 차갑게 듣고 대답했다. "하지만 원하신다면 저에게 직접 편지를 써서, 이 사실을 알게 되었고 이런저런 것을 당신의 소유라고 주장하면서, 당신이..." "평범한 종이에?" 라스콜니코프가 다시 한 번 재정적인 질문에 흥미를 느껴서 열렬히 말을 가로채었다.

"아, 정말 평범하네요." 갑자기 포르피리 페트로비치가 그를 노골적으로 비꼬는 듯한 표정으로 바라보며 눈을 찡그리고 마치 그에게 윙크를 한 듯했다. 하지만 아마도 라스콜니코프의 환상이었을 것이다. 잠깐뿐이었으니까. 라스콜니코프는 분명 그런 게 있었을 거라고 확신할 수 있었다. 라스콜니코프는 그가 윙크를 했다고 확신할 수 있었다. 그 이유는 알 것이다. "알고 있어요." 번개처럼 그의 머릿속에 번쩍였다. "이런 사소한 일로 귀찮게 해서 죄송합니다." 그는 약간 당황한 듯 말을 이었다. "그 물건은 겨우 5루블에 불과하지만, 저는 특히 그것들을 제게 가져다준 사람들을 위해 소중히 여기고, 제가 그 말을 들었을 때 깜짝 놀랐다는 걸 고백해야겠어요..."

"그래서 제가 조시모프에게 포르피리가 모든 사람에게 약속을 받고 있다고 말했을 때 당신이 그렇게 놀랐던 거군요!" 라주미힌이 노골적으로 말했다. 이건 정말 참을 수 없었다. 라스콜니코프는 검은 눈에 복수심에 불타는 분노가 번쩍이면서 그를 쳐다보지 않을 수 없었지만, 즉시 정신을 차렸다. "형님, 저를 놀리는 것 같으신가요?" 그는 잘 가장된 짜증을 담아 그에게 말했다. "제가 그런 쓰레기에 대해 터무니없이 걱정하는 것처럼 보이긴 하지만, 저를 이기적이거나 그런 것에 욕심이 있다고 생각하지 마세요. 그리고 이 두 가지는 제 눈에는 쓰레기가 아닐 수도 있습니다.

방금 말씀드렸듯이, 은시계는 한 푼어치도 안 되는 값어치지만, 아버지께서 우리에게 남겨 주신 유일한 물건입니다. 저를 비웃으셔도 됩니다만, 제 어머니가 여기 계십니다." 그는 갑자기 포르피리에게 돌아섰다. "그리고 만약 어머니가 시계를 잃어버렸다는 것을 안다면," 그는 다시 서둘러 라주미힌에게 돌아서서 조심스럽게 목소리를 떨게 했다. "그녀는 절망에 빠졌을 겁니다! 여자란 어떤 존재인지 아시잖아요!" "전혀 그렇지 않아요! 전혀 그런 뜻이 아니었어요! 오히려 그 반대예요!" 라주미힌이 괴로워하며 소리쳤다. "옳았나? 자연스러운가? 내가 과했나?" 라스콜니코프는 떨면서 스스로에게 물었다. "왜 여자에 대해 그런 말을 했을까?" "아, 당신 어머니가 당신과 함께 계시네요?" 포르피리 페트로비치가 물었다. "네." "언제 오셨어요?" "어젯밤에."

As soon as Porfiry Petrovitch heard that his visitor had a little matter of business with him, he begged him to sit down on the sofa and sat down himself on the other end, waiting for him to explain his business, with that careful and over-serious attention which is at once oppressive and embarrassing, especially to a stranger, and especially if what you are discussing is in your opinion of far too little importance for such exceptional solemnity. But in brief and coherent phrases Raskolnikov explained his business clearly and exactly, and was so well satisfied with himself that he even succeeded in taking a good look at Porfiry. Porfiry Petrovitch did not once take his eyes off him.

Razumihin, sitting opposite at the same table, listened warmly and impatiently, looking from one to the other every moment with rather excessive interest. “Fool,” Raskolnikov swore to himself. “You have to give information to the police,” Porfiry replied,

with a most businesslike air, “that having learnt of this incident, that is of the murder, you beg to inform the lawyer in charge of the case that such and such things belong to you, and that you desire to redeem them... or... but they will write to you.”

“That’s just the point, that at the present moment,” Raskolnikov tried his utmost to feign embarrassment, “I am not quite in funds... and even this trifling sum is beyond me... I only wanted, you see, for the present to declare that the things are mine, and that when I have money....” “That’s no matter,” answered Porfiry Petrovitch, receiving his explanation of his pecuniary position coldly, “but you can, if you prefer, write straight to me, to say, that having been informed of the matter, and claiming such and such as your property, you beg...” “On an ordinary sheet of paper?” Raskolnikov interrupted eagerly, again interested in the financial side of the question.

“Oh, the most ordinary,” and suddenly Porfiry Petrovitch looked with obvious irony at him, screwing up his eyes and, as it were, winking at him. But perhaps it was Raskolnikov’s fancy, for it all lasted but a moment. There was certainly something of the sort, Raskolnikov could have sworn he winked at him, goodness knows why. “He knows,” flashed through his mind like lightning. “Forgive my troubling you about such trifles,” he went on, a little disconcerted, “the things are only worth five roubles, but I prize them particularly for the sake of those from whom they came to me, and I must confess that I was alarmed when I heard...”

“That’s why you were so much struck when I mentioned to Zossimov that Porfiry was inquiring for everyone who had pledges!” Razumihin put in with obvious intention. This was really unbearable. Raskolnikov could not help glancing at him with a flash of vindictive anger in his black eyes, but immediately recollected himself. “You seem to be jeering at me, brother?” he said to him, with a well-feigned irritability. “I dare say I do seem to you absurdly anxious about such trash; but you mustn’t think me selfish or grasping for that, and these two things may be anything but trash in my eyes.

I told you just now that the silver watch, though it’s not worth a cent, is the only thing left us of my father’s. You may laugh at me, but my mother is here,” he turned suddenly to Porfiry, “and if she knew,” he turned again hurriedly to Razumihin, carefully making his voice tremble, “that the watch was lost, she would be in despair! You know what women are!” “Not a bit of it! I didn’t mean that at all! Quite the contrary!” shouted Razumihin distressed. “Was it right? Was it natural? Did I overdo it?” Raskolnikov asked himself in a tremor. “Why did I say that about women?” “Oh, your mother is with you?” Porfiry Petrovitch inquired. “Yes.” “When did she come?” “Last night.”