4월7일(월)자료 1. In love with ex's brother 2. Online predator

In love with ex's brother Dear Annie: It's been almost a year since my husband and I separated. We were married for 12 years, and for most of them, we lived like roommates. Our only real fights were triggered because I kept telling him I wanted a more intimate relationship. He was not willing to invest more in our marriage. He seemed comfortable, although not in love with me. I realized things wouldn't improve, but all my other needs were met, we were good friends, and most importantly, we had a son. I decided to stick with it as long as I could because I had been married before and didn't want to go through another divorce. Suddenly and abruptly, however, he left me for someone else. The thing is, my ex's brother, "Rex," and I started talking about the situation, and as we began calling each other more, we confided that there had been an attraction between us since the day we met. I have fallen in love with this man. He seems like my soul mate. Rex, on the other hand, says he cares about me and wants to be with me, but won't allow himself to fall too deeply into this relationship because it feels like he is betraying his brother. He also knows his family will not accept our being together. Do you think these obstacles can be overcome? Could we be happy together? -- Jane in Arizona Dear Jane: People can learn to accept what is inevitable, and "betrayal" apparently runs in the family. However, it would require that Rex completely support the idea and make a firm commitment to the relationship, and he obviously is reluctant to do either. Also, brothers can be a lot alike, and whatever attracted you to your ex-husband may also be what makes Rex so appealing. So be careful what you wish for. Dear Annie: I am a 48-year-old male, recently retired from a civil servant position after 25 years. I now work part time in the evenings, four days a week. Ever since my retirement, my wife has been extremely nasty to me when she gets home from her full-time job. Her first question is always, "So, what did you do today?" as if all I do is sit around watching TV. I do some things around the house, like make the bed, do the dishes, etc., but she acts as if she expects me to be tearing out walls and replacing carpeting. I think she is jealous of my situation; plus, she is starting to have some menopausal symptoms (she is 48). I am running out of patience with her attitude. What should I do? -- Sick and Tired Dear Tired: Women often have the same complaint when they stay home with children and their husbands ask what they did all day. If you work fewer hours than your wife and aren't caring for dependent family members, you should be doing more of the housekeeping, laundry, grocery shopping and meal preparation. The fact that your wife is nasty may mean jealousy or hormones are preventing her from keeping a tighter lid on her anger, but it doesn't make it less valid. It's time to open the lines of communication so you can discuss each other's expectations.  2008.03.26 Online predator Dear Annie: I just discovered that my 14-year-old daughter, "Melissa," has a MySpace account where she is posing as a 21-year-old. She posted pictures of some other female and said they were of herself. A military man, 27 years old, has been e-mailing her, and some of his letters are rather explicit. Of course, I will take steps with my daughter to see that this does not happen again and I hope communication between us gets better. But I am furious with this man. Perhaps he legitimately thought she was 21, but I don't believe it. Any adult with half a mind could ask the right questions and discover the writer was a child. I could tell from her first e-mail. Assuming he isn't stupid, there is nothing else to think but that he is a predator. I have his name, phone number and address, and I have turned that information over to the authorities in my state and the military. Please advise anyone legitimately trying to find a mate online to ask the right questions to determine whether the future mate is of age. For example, ask a supposed 21-year-old if she is in school and what subjects she's taking. If she tells you she's studying fractions and geometry, you know she's barely out of grade school. -- Disappointed and Furious Dear Disappointed: Don't be naive. Any girl who would lie about her age could just as easily lie about what subjects she's taking in school. We know you are frightened for your daughter and worried about what might have happened, and we don't blame you. But it is very difficult to discern the truth over the Internet. Yes, adults need to be circumspect, but all parents should supervise what their children are doing online, teaching them how to protect themselves from predators and why deliberately misrepresenting themselves can lead to major trouble or worse. Dear Annie: What do you make of a man who finds it necessary to tell you about his past love life, how many women he's been with, how great sex is when you are high (I don't do drugs), and who says he is "used to having sex and lots of it"? I have been seeing this man for three years, and every so often he comes out with this stuff. I have told him I don't like it and don't want to hear it, but he can't seem to cease and desist. We are both in our 50s with grown children from previous marriages. -- Too Much Information Dear Too Much: We think your boyfriend is terribly insecure and desperate to impress you with his sexual experience. You might point out that those who are truly knowledgeable tend not to brag about it. Otherwise, if you can't ignore him, try to laugh about it. We suspect that will take care of the problem. 2008.3.27