5월17일(토) 1. Laxatives abuse 2.Over sensitive

[Max(金昌鎬)]

 Laxatives abuse

Dear Annie: My daughter-in-law is a danger to herself and others. "Dotty" has been repeatedly arrested for drunk and/or disorderly behavior. She physically hurts her 6-year-old son, and verbally abuses and physically beats on her husband. He and others have called the police on her, and she has spent some time in rehab. But she is in denial that she has a problem. Her young child is suffering because of her antics and, of course, so is her marriage.

Dotty says the doctors have told her she is perfectly fine and has no mental health issues. Everyone knows she is lying. She uses their child as a tool to mend the marriage and makes a mockery out of my son's valiant efforts to change things. My question is, how should my son tell his young child that Mommy is not well and the marriage is over? -- Concerned Grandma

Dear Grandma: If your son believes the marriage is over, he should talk to a lawyer, report and document the abuse and discuss custody issues because his child needs to be protected. He also can benefit from counseling for himself and his son. But you need to stay out of this as much as possible.

We know how hard it is to watch this oncoming train wreck, but the best thing you can do for your son and grandchild is be a source of support and calm. Encourage your son to report the abuse to the authorities and seek counseling. Do not involve yourself in their marital problems. Do not badmouth your daughter-in-law. Do not push your son to get a divorce. Do not, under any circumstances, decide what your grandchild is entitled to know about his parents. This is your son's decision. Make your home a sympathetic refuge and you will have nothing to regret later.

Dear Annie: I am a 36-year-old woman who is an awful mess. I got into the trap of using laxatives for weight loss. It only took a couple of times until my body wouldn't work without them. I know it was stupid, but it's too late now.

I'm afraid I'm not the only one who ended up like this and thought it would be good to warn others about the dangers of using laxatives. -- Anonymous

Dear Anonymous: According to the National Eating Disorders Association, laxative abuse can result in health complications and life-threatening risks, and the idea that it is effective for weight control is a myth. Laxatives do not purge the body of calories from food. Instead, abuse causes the loss of water, minerals, electrolytes and indigestible fiber, all of which the body needs to function properly. This "water weight" returns as soon as you drink any fluids. (Not drinking fluids can cause weakness, blurry vision, kidney damage and, in extreme cases, death.) Chronic laxative abuse may also contribute to the risk of colon cancer.

It's not too late to get help. Please speak to your doctor and ask for a referral to someone with expertise in treating eating disorders. Or contact the National Eating Disorders Association (nationaleatingdisorders.org) at 1-800-931-2237.2008.05.07

Over sensitive  
  Dear Annie: My fiancee, "Catherine," has told me that I am overly sensitive. As you might expect, I disagree with her, so I am asking you.

Catherine is friends with "John and Geraldine," whose company I do not particularly care to keep. This couple was married two years ago -- immediately after John divorced his first wife. Prior to pursuing Geraldine, however, John expressed a strong interest in Catherine. This doesn't surprise me, as Catherine is a very attractive woman.

What bothers me is that over dinner one recent evening, Catherine lamented about having not married John herself, so that she could have traveled with him to Hawaii, Cancun, etc., as John and Geraldine have done since their wedding.

Am I being overly sensitive to object to Catherine's continued relationship with John? Should I consider asking her for an apology? -- Dazed and Confused

Dear Dazed: Sorry to tell you, but you are a little over-sensitive on this issue. Catherine is not carrying a torch for John. She is carrying one for Hawaii. She envies the traveling that John and his wife have been able to afford. We will say, however, that she expressed it rather insensitively, considering that you take these things to heart.

Tell her, gently, that it hurts when she makes it sound as if she would rather be engaged to John instead of you. Then let her make it up to you.

Dear Annie: Our office staff often hosts meetings for small groups in our conference room. This past week, we were the hosts for a meeting, and a young woman who was attending offered to bring refreshments for the participants. We were very grateful to her, as we usually provide only coffee and water.

The young woman in question brought cookies, and after the meeting, she took the remaining cookies with her. Is this appropriate behavior, or should she have left the cookies for the hosts?

Some of our staff has likened this to bringing a bottle of wine to a dinner party and asking that the unused portion be returned to you. Another group feels she is entitled to the leftover cookies, since she brought them. What do you say? -- Wondering in Wyoming

Dear Wondering: This was not a social event, like a dinner party. She was bringing the cookies for the participants. Although it would have been nice for her to share the extra calories with your office staff, she no doubt assumed she had to clean up after the meeting and took the cookies with her. No faux pas intended.