PART 4 // chapter 1-5

[모나리자]

바로 그 세계로. 난 오래전에 그걸 생각했어. 만약 네가 내세를 ​​믿는다면, 그것도 믿을 수 있을 거야." "난 내세를 믿지 않아." 라스콜니코프가 말했다. 스비드리가일로프는 생각에 잠겨 앉아 있었다. "그리고 만약 거기에 거미나 그런 종류의 것들만 있다면 어떨까." 그는 갑자기 말했다. "그는 미친 놈이야." 라스콜니코프가 생각했다. "우리는 항상 영원을 우리의 개념을 넘어선 무언가, 광대하고 광대한 무언가로 상상해! 하지만 왜 광대해야 하지? 그 모든 것 대신에, 만약 그것이 시골의 목욕탕처럼 검고 더럽고 구석구석에 거미가 있는 작은 방 하나일 뿐이라면 어떨까? 그리고 그게 영원의 전부라면?

나는 때때로 그것이 그런 것이라고 생각해." "그보다 더 정의롭고 더 편안한 것을 상상할 수 있을까?" 라스콜니코프가 괴로운 기분으로 외쳤다. "정의롭다고? 그리고 어떻게 알 수 있을까요, 아마도 그게 옳을 겁니다. 그리고 제가 확실히 만들었을 것이라는 걸 아십니까?" 스비드리가일로프가 모호한 미소를 지으며 대답했습니다. 이 끔찍한 대답은 라스콜니코프에게 차가운 오한을 보냈습니다.

스비드리가일로프는 고개를 들어 그를 바라보더니 갑자기 웃기 시작했습니다. "생각해보세요." 그는 외쳤습니다. "30분 전까지만 해도 우리는 서로를 본 적이 없었고, 서로를 적대시했습니다. 우리 사이에 해결되지 않은 문제가 있습니다. 우리는 그것을 제쳐두고 추상적으로 흘러갔습니다! 우리가 같은 깃털을 가진 새라고 말한 것이 옳지 않았습니까?" "제발," 라스콜니코프가 짜증내며 말을 이었습니다. "당신이 저를 찾아와 주신 이유를 설명해 달라고 부탁드리고 싶습니다... 그리고... 저는 서두르고 있고 시간을 낭비할 시간이 없습니다. 나가고 싶습니다." "물론이죠, 물론이죠. 당신의 여동생 아브도티아 로마노브나가 루진 씨, 표트르 페트로비치와 결혼할 예정입니다."

"내 여동생에 대한 질문이나 그녀의 이름을 언급하는 것을 삼가할 수 없니? 네가 정말 스비드리가일로프라면, 내 앞에서 그녀의 이름을 감히 어떻게 부를 수 있는지 이해할 수 없어." "왜, 하지만 나는 그녀에 대해 이야기하기 위해 여기 왔어. 그녀를 언급하지 않으려면 어떻게 해야 할까?" "좋아, 말해, 하지만 서둘러."

"내 아내를 통해 나와 인연이 된 루진 씨에 대해 네가 30분만 보고, 그에 대한 사실을 들었더라도, 네가 그 사람에 대한 의견을 형성했을 거라고 확신해.

그는 아브도티아 로마노브나의 상대가 아니야. 아브도티아 로마노브나는 가족을 위해 관대하고 경솔하게 자신을 희생하고 있다고 생각해. 내가 네 이야기를 들은 바에 따르면, 세상적 이익을 희생하지 않고 결혼을 끝낼 수 있다면 네가 매우 기뻐할 거라고 생각했어. 이제 나는 너를 개인적으로 알고 있고, 확신해." "이 모든 게 너무 순진하네요... 실례합니다. 당신 입장에서는 뻔뻔스럽다고 말했어야 했어요." 라스콜니코프가 말했다. "내가 제 목적을 추구한다고 말씀하시는 거군요.

걱정하지 마세요, 로디온 로마노비치. 제 이익을 위해 일하고 있었다면 그렇게 직접적으로 말하지 않았을 거예요. 저는 바보는 아니에요. 그 점에 대해 심리적으로 궁금한 점을 고백하겠습니다. 방금 아브도티아에 대한 제 사랑을 변호하면서

로마노브나, 저는 제가 피해자라고 말했어요. 글쎄요, 지금은 전혀 사랑을 느끼지 못한다는 걸 말씀드릴게요. 조금도요. 그래서 제 자신이 의아해요. 정말 무언가를 느꼈거든요..." "게으름과 타락 때문에요." 라스콜니코프가 말했다.

"저는 확실히 게으르고 타락했지만, 당신 누이는 제가 감명받지 않을 수 없는 자질을 가지고 있어요. 하지만 지금 제 자신을 보면 그게 다 헛소리예요." "그렇게 오래 보셨어요?" "저는 그 전에도 그것을 알고 있었지만, 어제 바로 전날, 거의 피터스버그에 도착했을 때에야 그것을 완벽하게 확신했습니다. 하지만 모스크바에 와서 아브도티아 로마노브나의 손을 잡고 루진 씨를 죽이려고 온 것 같다는 생각이 들었습니다." "방해해서 죄송합니다. 간단히 말씀해 주시고, 방문 목적에 대해 말씀해 주십시오. 저는 서두르고 있습니다. 나가고 싶습니다..." "기꺼이 말씀드리겠습니다.

여기에 도착해서 어떤... 여행을 하기로 결정한 후에, 몇 가지 필요한 예비 준비를 하고 싶습니다. 저는 아이들을 이모에게 맡겼습니다. 아이들은 잘 돌봐주고 있고, 저는 개인적으로 필요하지 않습니다. 그리고 좋은 아빠도 만들어야 합니다! 저는 마르파 페트로브나가 1년 전에 준 것 외에는 아무것도 가지고 가지 않았습니다. 저는 그것으로 충분합니다. 죄송합니다. 요점만 말씀드리겠습니다. 여행을 떠나기 전에 루진 씨도 만나고 싶습니다.

내가 그를 그렇게 싫어하는 것은 아니지만, 마르파 페트로브나가 이 결혼을 망쳤다는 것을 알았을 때 그를 통해 그녀와 다툰 적이 있습니다. 지금 나는 아브도티아 로마노브나를 당신의 중재를 통해 보고 싶고, 당신이 원한다면 당신 앞에서 그녀에게 우선 루진 씨로부터 해를 입는 것 외에는 아무것도 얻지 못할 것이라고 설명하고 싶습니다. 그런 다음 과거의 모든 불쾌함에 대해 그녀의 용서를 구하고 그녀에게 만 루블을 선물하여 루진 씨와의 결별을 돕고 싶습니다. 그녀가 그 결별을 할 수 있는 방법을 볼 수 있다면 그녀 자신도 싫어하지 않을 것이라고 생각합니다." "당신은 확실히 미쳤군요." 라스콜니코프가 화가 난 것이 아니라 놀란 듯 외쳤습니다. "어떻게 감히 그런 말을 할 수 있습니까!"

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5340p

straight into that world. I thought of that long ago. If you believe in a future life, you could believe in that, too.” “I don’t believe in a future life,” said Raskolnikov. Svidrigaïlov sat lost in thought. “And what if there are only spiders there, or something of that sort,” he said suddenly. “He is a madman,” thought Raskolnikov. “We always imagine eternity as something beyond our conception, something vast, vast! But why must it be vast? Instead of all that, what if it’s one little room, like a bath house in the country, black and grimy and spiders in every corner, and that’s all eternity is?

I sometimes fancy it like that.” “Can it be you can imagine nothing juster and more comforting than that?” Raskolnikov cried, with a feeling of anguish. “Juster? And how can we tell, perhaps that is just, and do you know it’s what I would certainly have made it,” answered Svidrigaïlov, with a vague smile. This horrible answer sent a cold chill through Raskolnikov.

Svidrigaïlov raised his head, looked at him, and suddenly began laughing. “Only think,” he cried, “half an hour ago we had never seen each other, we regarded each other as enemies; there is a matter unsettled between us; we’ve thrown it aside, and away we’ve gone into the abstract! Wasn’t I right in saying that we were birds of a feather?” “Kindly allow me,” Raskolnikov went on irritably, “to ask you to explain why you have honoured me with your visit... and... and I am in a hurry, I have no time to waste. I want to go out.” “By all means, by all means. Your sister, Avdotya Romanovna, is going to be married to Mr. Luzhin, Pyotr Petrovitch?”

“Can you refrain from any question about my sister and from mentioning her name? I can’t understand how you dare utter her name in my presence, if you really are Svidrigaïlov.” “Why, but I’ve come here to speak about her; how can I avoid mentioning her?” “Very good, speak, but make haste.”

“I am sure that you must have formed your own opinion of this Mr. Luzhin, who is a connection of mine through my wife, if you have only seen him for half an hour, or heard any facts about him.

He is no match for Avdotya Romanovna. I believe Avdotya Romanovna is sacrificing herself generously and imprudently for the sake of... for the sake of her family. I fancied from all I had heard of you that you would be very glad if the match could be broken off without the sacrifice of worldly advantages. Now I know you personally, I am convinced of it.” “All this is very naïve... excuse me, I should have said impudent on your part,” said Raskolnikov. “You mean to say that I am seeking my own ends.

Don’t be uneasy, Rodion Romanovitch, if I were working for my own advantage, I would not have spoken out so directly. I am not quite a fool. I will confess something psychologically curious about that: just now, defending my love for Avdotya

Romanovna, I said I was myself the victim. Well, let me tell you that I’ve no feeling of love now, not the slightest, so that I wonder myself indeed, for I really did feel something...” “Through idleness and depravity,” Raskolnikov put in.

“I certainly am idle and depraved, but your sister has such qualities that even I could not help being impressed by them. But that’s all nonsense, as I see myself now.” “Have you seen that long?” “I began to be aware of it before, but was only perfectly sure of it the day before yesterday, almost at the moment I arrived in Petersburg. I still fancied in Moscow, though, that I was coming to try to get Avdotya Romanovna’s hand and to cut out Mr. Luzhin.” “Excuse me for interrupting you; kindly be brief, and come to the object of your visit. I am in a hurry, I want to go out...” “With the greatest pleasure.

On arriving here and determining on a certain... journey, I should like to make some necessary preliminary arrangements. I left my children with an aunt; they are well provided for; and they have no need of me personally. And a nice father I should make, too! I have taken nothing but what Marfa Petrovna gave me a year ago. That’s enough for me. Excuse me, I am just coming to the point. Before the journey which may come off, I want to settle Mr. Luzhin, too.

It’s not that I detest him so much, but it was through him I quarrelled with Marfa Petrovna when I learned that she had dished up this marriage. I want now to see Avdotya Romanovna through your mediation, and if you like in your presence, to explain to her that in the first place she will never gain anything but harm from Mr. Luzhin. Then, begging her pardon for all past unpleasantness, to make her a present of ten thousand roubles and so assist the rupture with Mr. Luzhin, a rupture to which I believe she is herself not disinclined, if she could see the way to it.” “You are certainly mad,” cried Raskolnikov not so much angered as astonished. “How dare you talk like that!”