PART 4 // chapter 1-6

[모나리자]

"당신이 나에게 소리를 지를 줄 알았어. 하지만 첫째로, 나는 부자가 아니지만, 이 만 루블은 완벽하게 무료야. 나는 그것이 전혀 필요하지 않아. 아브도티아 로마노브나가 그것을 받아들이지 않는다면, 나는 그것을 더 어리석은 방식으로 낭비할 거야. 그것이 첫 번째야. 둘째로, 내 양심은 완벽하게 편안해. 나는 숨은 동기 없이 제안을 해.

당신은 믿지 못할지도 모르지만, 결국 아브도티아 로마노브나와 당신은 알게 될 거야. 요점은, 내가 실제로 당신의 여동생에게 약간의 문제와 불쾌감을 주었고, 그래서 진심으로 후회하지만, 나는 보상하고 싶지 않고, 불쾌함에 대해 그녀에게 갚고 싶지 않고, 그저 그녀에게 이로운 무언가를 하고 싶고, 결국 나는 해를 끼치는 것 외에는 아무것도 할 특권이 없다는 것을 보여주고 싶어.

내 제안에 백만 분의 일의 이기심이 있었다면, 나는 그렇게 공개적으로 제안하지 않았을 거야. 그리고 5주 전에 그녀에게 더 많은 돈을 주겠다고 제안했을 때, 나는 그녀에게 1만 달러만 주겠다고 제안해서는 안 됩니다. 게다가, 나는 아마도 곧 젊은 여성과 결혼할지도 모르고, 그것만으로도 아브도티아 로마노브나에 대한 어떤 의도에 대한 의심을 피할 수 있을 것입니다. 결론적으로, 루진 씨와 결혼함으로써 그녀는 다른 남자에게서 돈을 받는 것과 마찬가지라고 말씀드리겠습니다. 화내지 마세요, 로디온 로마노비치, 차분하고 조용히 생각해보세요.

"스비드리가일로프 자신도 이 말을 할 때 매우 차분하고 조용했습니다.

"더 이상 말하지 마십시오." 라스콜니코프가 말했습니다. "어쨌든 이것은 용서할 수 없는 무례입니다." "전혀 그렇지 않습니다. 그러면 이 세상에서 사람은 이웃에게 해를 끼칠 뿐이고, 사소한 관습적인 형식 때문에 아주 작은 선행도 할 수 없습니다. 그것은 터무니없는 일입니다. 예를 들어, 내가 죽어서 유언장에 그 금액을 당신 자매에게 남겼다면, 그녀가 그것을 거부하지 않겠습니까?" "아마도 그럴 것입니다." "아니요, 사실입니다. 하지만 거절한다면 그렇게 하세요. 만 루블은 가끔은 큰 돈이긴 하지만요.

어쨌든 제가 아브도티아 로마노브나에게 한 말을 반복해 주세요." "아니요, 그러지 않겠습니다." "그렇다면, 로디온 로마노비치, 제가 직접 그녀를 만나서 걱정시켜 드려야겠습니다." "그리고 제가 그녀에게 말한다면, 그녀를 만나보지 않겠어요?" "무슨 말을 해야 할지 모르겠어요. 그녀를 한 번 더 보고 싶어요." "그럴 리가 없어요." "미안합니다. 하지만 당신은 저를 모르시네요. 어쩌면 우리가 더 좋은 친구가 될 수도 있을 거예요." "우리가 친구가 될 수 있을 것 같아요?" "그리고 왜 안 되겠어요?" 스비드리가일로프가 미소를 지으며 말했다.

그는 일어나서 모자를 가져갔다. "당신을 방해할 생각은 없었고, 그럴 생각도 없이 여기 왔어요... 하지만 오늘 아침 당신의 얼굴에 정말 충격을 받았어요." "오늘 아침 어디서 나를 보셨어요?" 라스콜니코프가 불안하게 물었다. "우연히 당신을 봤어요... 당신이 나와 비슷한 게 있을 거라고 계속 상상했어요... 하지만 불안해하지 마세요. 저는 방해가 되지 않아요. 카드 샤퍼들과는 잘 지냈고, 먼 친척인 위대한 인물 스비르베이 왕자를 결코 지루하게 하지 않았고, 프리루코프 부인의 앨범에 라파엘로의 마돈나에 대해 쓸 수 있었고, 7년 동안 마르파 페트로브나 곁을 떠나지 않았고, 옛날에는 헤이 마켓에 있는 비아젬스키의 집에서 하룻밤을 지냈고, 베르크와 함께 풍선을 타고 올라갈 수도 있어요."

"아, 알겠어요. 곧 여행을 시작하시나요?" "어떤 여행이요?" "그 '여행'에 대해서요. 당신이 직접 말씀하셨잖아요." "여행이요? 아, 맞아요. 제가 여행에 대해 말씀드렸어요. 글쎄, 그건 폭넓은 주제야... 네가 묻는 게 뭔지만 알았다면 말이야." 그는 덧붙여 말하며 갑자기 크고 짧게 웃었다. "아마도 여행 대신 결혼할 거야. 그들이 나를 위해 결혼 상대를 찾고 있어." "여기?" "네." "그럴 시간이 어떻게 있었어?" "하지만 아브도티아 로마노브나를 한 번 보고 싶어.

진심으로 간청한다. 그럼, 지금은 안녕. 오, 그래. 뭔가 잊었어. 네 누이, 로디온 로마노비치에게 마르파 페트로브나가 유언장에 그녀를 기억하고 3천 루블을 남겼다고 전해. 그건 확실해. 마르파 페트로브나가 죽기 일주일 전에 마련했고, 내가 보는 앞에서 그렇게 했어. 아브도티아 로마노브나는 2~3주 안에 돈을 받을 수 있을 거야."

"진실을 말하고 있니?" "네, 말해. 글쎄, 네 하인. 나는 너와 아주 가까이에 있을 거야." 그가 나가자 스비드리가일로프가 문에서 라주미힌에게 달려들었다.

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5397p

“I knew you would scream at me; but in the first place, though I am not rich, this ten thousand roubles is perfectly free; I have absolutely no need for it. If Avdotya Romanovna does not accept it, I shall waste it in some more foolish way. That’s the first thing. Secondly, my conscience is perfectly easy; I make the offer with no ulterior motive.

You may not believe it, but in the end Avdotya Romanovna and you will know. The point is, that I did actually cause your sister, whom I greatly respect, some trouble and unpleasantness, and so, sincerely regretting it, I want—not to compensate, not to repay her for the unpleasantness, but simply to do something to her advantage, to show that I am not, after all, privileged to do nothing but harm.

If there were a millionth fraction of self-interest in my offer, I should not have made it so openly; and I should not have offered her ten thousand only, when five weeks ago I offered her more, Besides, I may, perhaps, very soon marry a young lady, and that alone ought to prevent suspicion of any design on Avdotya Romanovna. In conclusion, let me say that in marrying Mr. Luzhin, she is taking money just the same, only from another man. Don’t be angry, Rodion Romanovitch, think it over coolly and quietly.

” Svidrigaïlov himself was exceedingly cool and quiet as he was saying this.

“I beg you to say no more,” said Raskolnikov. “In any case this is unpardonable impertinence.” “Not in the least. Then a man may do nothing but harm to his neighbour in this world, and is prevented from doing the tiniest bit of good by trivial conventional formalities. That’s absurd. If I died, for instance, and left that sum to your sister in my will, surely she wouldn’t refuse it?” “Very likely she would.” “Oh, no, indeed. However, if you refuse it, so be it, though ten thousand roubles is a capital thing to have on occasion.

In any case I beg you to repeat what I have said to Avdotya Romanovna.” “No, I won’t.” “In that case, Rodion Romanovitch, I shall be obliged to try and see her myself and worry her by doing so.” “And if I do tell her, will you not try to see her?” “I don’t know really what to say. I should like very much to see her once more.” “Don’t hope for it.” “I’m sorry. But you don’t know me. Perhaps we may become better friends.” “You think we may become friends?” “And why not?” Svidrigaïlov said, smiling.

He stood up and took his hat. “I didn’t quite intend to disturb you and I came here without reckoning on it... though I was very much struck by your face this morning.” “Where did you see me this morning?” Raskolnikov asked uneasily. “I saw you by chance.... I kept fancying there is something about you like me.... But don’t be uneasy. I am not intrusive; I used to get on all right with card-sharpers, and I never bored Prince Svirbey, a great personage who is a distant relation of mine, and I could write about Raphael’s Madonna in Madam Prilukov’s album, and I never left Marfa Petrovna’s side for seven years, and I used to stay the night at Viazemsky’s house in the Hay Market in the old days, and I may go up in a balloon with Berg, perhaps.”

“Oh, all right. Are you starting soon on your travels, may I ask?” “What travels?” “Why, on that ‘journey’; you spoke of it yourself.” “A journey? Oh, yes. I did speak of a journey. Well, that’s a wide subject.... if only you knew what you are asking,” he added, and gave a sudden, loud, short laugh. “Perhaps I’ll get married instead of the journey. They’re making a match for me.” “Here?” “Yes.” “How have you had time for that?” “But I am very anxious to see Avdotya Romanovna once.

I earnestly beg it. Well, good-bye for the present. Oh, yes. I have forgotten something. Tell your sister, Rodion Romanovitch, that Marfa Petrovna remembered her in her will and left her three thousand roubles. That’s absolutely certain. Marfa Petrovna arranged it a week before her death, and it was done in my presence. Avdotya Romanovna will be able to receive the money in two or three weeks.”

“Are you telling the truth?” “Yes, tell her. Well, your servant. I am staying very near you.” As he went out, Svidrigaïlov ran up against Razumihin in the doorway.