Re: read it!-steven

[Teacher Winget]

When I think about quit quitting, I think of three people: there Ventent ban Gogh Vincent van Gogh, J.K. rolling Rowling, vetoban Beethoven, and Jordan.
all of they, they got a lot of panic All of them faced great struggles, but they didn't give up.
so So, J.K. rolling Rowling became a best auther one of the best authors, veteran Beethoven composed many pieces of music, and Jordan became one of be a all of the best the best basketball players.
However, Ventent Ban Gogh Vincent van Gogh didn't succeed during his lifetime, but concern many people now appreciate many people like Goghs picture his paintings.
I think this book is helpful when I give, to help me I feel like giving up; it motivates me.

Score: B

Tips)

1. 문법: "all of they, they got a lot of panic" 대신 "All of them faced great struggles"라고 해야 자연스럽고, "concern many people like Goghs picture" 대신 "many people now appreciate his paintings"라고 해야 해요.
2. 내용 추가: "이 인물들이 어떤 어려움을 겪었고, 그 어려움을 어떻게 극복했는지 더 설명해 보세요!"