PART 4 // chapter 2-4

[모나리자]

"당신이 그런 질문을 하는 데 놀랐어요." 루진이 점점 더 짜증이 나서 말했다. "당신을 존경하고, 말하자면, 사랑하지만, 동시에 당신 가족 중 어떤 사람을 싫어할 수도 있을 겁니다. 당신의 행복을 차지할 권리가 있지만, 당신과 양립할 수 없는 의무는 받아들일 수 없어요..." "아, 너무 기분 나빠하지 마세요, 표트르 페트로비치." 두니아가 감정에 젖어 말을 가로채며 말했다. "그리고 내가 항상 당신을 생각했고, 당신이 그렇게 생각되기를 바라는, 현명하고 관대한 사람이 되세요. 나는 당신에게 큰 약속을 했습니다. 나는 당신의 약혼자입니다.

이 문제에 대해 나를 믿으세요. 그리고 나를 믿으세요. 나는 공정하게 판단할 수 있을 겁니다. 내가 판사 역할을 맡는 것은 당신에게나 마찬가지로 내 동생에게도 놀라운 일입니다. 오늘 당신의 편지를 받고 나서 그가 우리 면담에 오라고 고집했을 때, 나는 그에게 내가 무엇을 할 것인지 전혀 말하지 않았습니다. 알아두세요, 만약 당신이 화해하지 않는다면, 나는 당신들 사이에서 선택해야 합니다. 당신이나 그 중 하나여야 합니다. 그게 바로 문제가 당신 편과 그의 편에 있는 방식입니다. 나는 내 선택에서 실수를 하고 싶지 않고, 실수해서도 안 됩니다. 당신을 위해 나는 내 동생과 결별해야 하고, 내 동생을 위해 나는 당신과 결별해야 합니다.

나는 지금 그가 내 동생인지 확실히 알 수 있고, 그것을 알고 싶습니다. 그리고 당신에 대해, 내가 당신에게 소중한지, 당신이 나를 존중하는지, 당신이 내 남편인지 알고 싶습니다." "아브도티아 로마노브나," 루진이 화를 내며 선언했습니다. "당신의 말은 나에게 너무나 중요합니다. 더 말씀드리자면, 당신과 관련하여 내가 차지할 영광을 생각하면 모욕적입니다. 당신이 나를 무례한 소년과 같은 수준으로 만드는 이상하고 모욕적인 일은 말할 것도 없고, 당신은 나에게 한 약속을 어길 가능성을 인정합니다. 당신은 '당신이나 그'라고 말하면서, 당신의 눈에 내가 얼마나 중요하지 않은지 보여줍니다... 우리 사이의 관계와... 의무를 고려할 때, 나는 이것을 지나칠 수 없습니다." "뭐라고요!" 두니아가 얼굴을 붉히며 소리쳤습니다.

"나는 지금까지 내 인생에서 가장 소중했던 모든 것, 내 인생 전체를 구성했던 모든 것보다 당신의 관심을 우선시했는데, 당신은 내가 당신을 너무 적게 평가하는 것에 대해 화를 내는군요." 라스콜니코프는 비꼬는 듯이 웃었고, 라주미힌은 몸을 꿈틀거렸지만, 표트르 페트로비치는 꾸지람을 받아들이지 않았습니다. 오히려 그는 모든 말에 더욱 끈기 있고 짜증이 났습니다. 마치 그가 그것을 즐기는 듯했습니다.

"당신 인생의 미래의 파트너, 당신의 남편에 대한 사랑은 당신의 형제에 대한 사랑보다 더 커야 합니다." 그는 엄하게 선언했습니다. "그리고 어떤 경우에도 저는 같은 수준에 있을 수 없습니다... 비록 제가 당신의 형제 앞에서 공개적으로 말하지 않겠다고 단호하게 말했지만, 그럼에도 불구하고 지금 저는 당신의 존경하는 어머니께 제 존엄성에 밀접한 관련이 있는 매우 중요한 사항에 대해 필요한 설명을 요청하고자 합니다.

당신의 아들은,” 그는 풀케리아 알렉산드로브나에게 돌아섰다. “어제

라즈수드킨 씨(아니면... 그게 맞는 말인가요? 실례합니다. 성을 잊어버렸어요.” 그는 라즈미힌에게 정중하게 절했다.) 앞에서 “제가 커피를 마시며 사적인 대화에서 표현한 생각을 왜곡하여 저를 모욕했습니다. 즉, 어려움을 겪은 가난한 소녀와 결혼하는 것이 사치스럽게 살았던 소녀와 결혼하는 것보다 부부의 관점에서 더 유리하며 도덕적 성격에 더 이롭다는 것입니다.

당신의 아들은 의도적으로 제 말의 의미를 과장하고 우스꽝스럽게 만들며, 저를 악의적 의도가 있다고 비난했고, 제가 보기에는 당신과의 서신에 의지했습니다. 풀케리아 알렉산드로브나, 당신이 반대 결론을 내리고 사려 깊게 저를 안심시킬 수 있다면 저는 행복할 것입니다. 로디온 로마노비치에게 보낸 편지에서 제 말을 정확히 어떤 용어로 반복했는지 알려주십시오.” "기억이 나지 않아요." 풀케리아 알렉산드로브나가 망설였다. "제가 이해한 대로 반복했어요.

로디아가 어떻게 반복했는지 모르겠어요. 아마 과장했을 거예요." "당신이 부추기지 않았다면 과장했을 리가 없죠." "표트르 페트로비치." 풀케리아 알렉산드로브나가 위엄 있게 선언했다. "두니아와 제가 당신의 말을 그렇게 나쁜 의미로 받아들이지 않았다는 증거는 우리가 여기 있다는 사실이에요." "좋아요, 어머니." 두니아가 찬성조로 말했다. "그럼 또 제 잘못이에요." 루진이 화가 나서 말했다.

"음, 표트르 페트로비치, 당신은 계속 로디온을 비난하지만, 당신 스스로 그에 대한 거짓을 썼잖아요." 풀케리아 알렉산드로브나가 용기를 얻으며 덧붙였다. "거짓말을 쓴 기억이 없어요." "당신이 쓴 글은," 라스콜니코프가 루진에게로 돌아서지 않고 날카롭게 말했다. "어제 내가 죽은 사람의 과부에게 돈을 준 것이 아니라 (어제까지 한 번도 본 적이 없는) 그의 딸에게 주었다고. 당신은 나와 내 가족 사이에 불화를 일으키려고 이 글을 썼고, 그 목적에 대해 당신이 모르는 소녀의 행동에 대한 거친 표현을 덧붙였습니다. 그 모든 것이 비열한 중상모략입니다." "실례합니다, 선생님." 루진이 분노에 떨며 말했다.

"나는 당신의 자매와 어머니의 질문에 대한 답변으로, 당신을 어떻게 찾았는지, 그리고 당신이 나에게 어떤 인상을 주었는지에 대한 답으로 내 편지에서 당신의 자질과 행동에 대해 자세히 설명했습니다. 내 편지에서 암시한 것에 대해, 거짓된 말 한 마디를 지적해 주십시오. 즉, 당신이 돈을 버리지 않았고, 그 가족에는 아무리 불행하더라도 쓸모없는 사람이 없다는 것을 보여 주십시오."

"내 생각에, 당신은 당신의 모든 미덕에도 불구하고 돌을 던지는 그 불행한 소녀의 새끼손가락만한 가치도 없습니다." "그럼 당신은 그녀가 당신의 어머니와 자매와 어울리게 할 만큼 멀리 갈 것인가요?" "당신이 알고 싶어한다면 이미 그렇게 했습니다. 오늘 그녀를 어머니와 두니아와 함께 앉혔습니다." "로디아!" 풀케리아 알렉산드로브나가 소리쳤다. 두니아는 붉어졌고, 라주미힌은 눈썹을 찌푸렸다. 루진은 거만한 풍자로 미소지었다. "당신은 직접 볼 수 있을 겁니다, 아브도티아 로마노브나." 그는 말했다. "우리가 합의할 수 있는지 여부를.

이제 이 문제가 일단락되기를 바랍니다. 저는 물러나서 가족의 친밀감과 비밀에 대한 토론의 즐거움을 방해하지 않도록 하겠습니다." 그는 의자에서 일어나 모자를 가져갔다. "하지만 물러나면서 앞으로는 비슷한 만남과 타협을 하지 않기를 간청합니다. 저는

이 주제에 대해 특히 당신에게 호소합니다, 존경하는 풀케리아 알렉산드로브나, 제 편지는 당신에게 보낸 것이지 다른 사람에게 보낸 것이 아니기 때문에 더욱 그렇습니다.” 풀케리아 알렉산드로브나는 약간 기분이 상했습니다.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

5592p

“I am surprised at your putting the question like that,” said Luzhin, getting more and more irritated. “Esteeming, and so to say, adoring you, I may at the same time, very well indeed, be able to dislike some member of your family. Though I lay claim to the happiness of your hand, I cannot accept duties incompatible with...” “Ah, don’t be so ready to take offence, Pyotr Petrovitch,” Dounia interrupted with feeling, “and be the sensible and generous man I have always considered, and wish to consider, you to be. I’ve given you a great promise, I am your betrothed.

Trust me in this matter and, believe me, I shall be capable of judging impartially. My assuming the part of judge is as much a surprise for my brother as for you. When I insisted on his coming to our interview to-day after your letter, I told him nothing of what I meant to do. Understand that, if you are not reconciled, I must choose between you—it must be either you or he. That is how the question rests on your side and on his. I don’t want to be mistaken in my choice, and I must not be. For your sake I must break off with my brother, for my brother’s sake I must break off with you.

I can find out for certain now whether he is a brother to me, and I want to know it; and of you, whether I am dear to you, whether you esteem me, whether you are the husband for me.” “Avdotya Romanovna,” Luzhin declared huffily, “your words are of too much consequence to me; I will say more, they are offensive in view of the position I have the honour to occupy in relation to you. To say nothing of your strange and offensive setting me on a level with an impertinent boy, you admit the possibility of breaking your promise to me. You say ‘you or he,’ showing thereby of how little consequence I am in your eyes... I cannot let this pass considering the relationship and... the obligations existing between us.” “What!” cried Dounia, flushing.

“I set your interest beside all that has hitherto been most precious in my life, what has made up the whole of my life, and here you are offended at my making too little account of you.” Raskolnikov smiled sarcastically, Razumihin fidgeted, but Pyotr Petrovitch did not accept the reproof; on the contrary, at every word he became more persistent and irritable, as though he relished it.

“Love for the future partner of your life, for your husband, ought to outweigh your love for your brother,” he pronounced sententiously, “and in any case I cannot be put on the same level.... Although I said so emphatically that I would not speak openly in your brother’s presence, nevertheless, I intend now to ask your honoured mother for a necessary explanation on a point of great importance closely affecting my dignity.

Your son,” he turned to Pulcheria Alexandrovna, “yesterday in the presence of Mr.

Razsudkin (or... I think that’s it? excuse me I have forgotten your surname,” he bowed politely to Razumihin) “insulted me by misrepresenting the idea I expressed to you in a private conversation, drinking coffee, that is, that marriage with a poor girl who has had experience of trouble is more advantageous from the conjugal point of view than with one who has lived in luxury, since it is more profitable for the moral character.

Your son intentionally exaggerated the significance of my words and made them ridiculous, accusing me of malicious intentions, and, as far as I could see, relied upon your correspondence with him. I shall consider myself happy, Pulcheria Alexandrovna, if it is possible for you to convince me of an opposite conclusion, and thereby considerately reassure me. Kindly let me know in what terms precisely you repeated my words in your letter to Rodion Romanovitch.” “I don’t remember,” faltered Pulcheria Alexandrovna. “I repeated them as I understood them.

I don’t know how Rodya repeated them to you, perhaps he exaggerated.” “He could not have exaggerated them, except at your instigation.” “Pyotr Petrovitch,” Pulcheria Alexandrovna declared with dignity, “the proof that Dounia and I did not take your words in a very bad sense is the fact that we are here.” “Good, mother,” said Dounia approvingly. “Then this is my fault again,” said Luzhin, aggrieved.

“Well, Pyotr Petrovitch, you keep blaming Rodion, but you yourself have just written what was false about him,” Pulcheria Alexandrovna added, gaining courage. “I don’t remember writing anything false.” “You wrote,” Raskolnikov said sharply, not turning to Luzhin, “that I gave money yesterday not to the widow of the man who was killed, as was the fact, but to his daughter (whom I had never seen till yesterday). You wrote this to make dissension between me and my family, and for that object added coarse expressions about the conduct of a girl whom you don’t know. All that is mean slander.” “Excuse me, sir,” said Luzhin, quivering with fury.

“I enlarged upon your qualities and conduct in my letter solely in response to your sister’s and mother’s inquiries, how I found you, and what impression you made on me. As for what you’ve alluded to in my letter, be so good as to point out one word of falsehood, show, that is, that you didn’t throw away your money, and that there are not worthless persons in that family, however unfortunate.”

“To my thinking, you, with all your virtues, are not worth the little finger of that unfortunate girl at whom you throw stones.” “Would you go so far then as to let her associate with your mother and sister?” “I have done so already, if you care to know. I made her sit down to-day with mother and Dounia.” “Rodya!” cried Pulcheria Alexandrovna. Dounia crimsoned, Razumihin knitted his brows. Luzhin smiled with lofty sarcasm. “You may see for yourself, Avdotya Romanovna,” he said, “whether it is possible for us to agree.

I hope now that this question is at an end, once and for all. I will withdraw, that I may not hinder the pleasures of family intimacy, and the discussion of secrets.” He got up from his chair and took his hat. “But in withdrawing, I venture to request that for the future I may be spared similar meetings, and, so to say, compromises. I appeal

particularly to you, honoured Pulcheria Alexandrovna, on this subject, the more as my letter was addressed to you and to no one else.” Pulcheria Alexandrovna was a little offended.