평화의 어머니 8 - 2. 희생이라는 꽃 한 송이 바치다

[대태양/김현수]

평화의 어머니
8장 가정은 가장 귀한 보석입니다
 
2. 희생이라는 꽃 한 송이 바치다
 
"이 결혼, 절대 반대다!"

"당장 집어치워라. 이따위 결혼식이 세상에 어디 있단 말이야!"

"내 딸을 데려다가 이렇게 결혼시키다니 ······ 아이구, 분해라."

안에서는 신랑신부들이 꽃송이를 들고 엄숙하게 서 있는데 밖에서는 부모들이 몰려와 아우성을 치고 난동을 부렸습니다.심지어는 연탄재를 던져 아름다운 신부가 뒤집어쓴 일도 있었습니다.

1960년에 처음 통일교회 합동결혼식이 열렸을 때 세상은 깜짝 놀랐고, 반대하는 부모들로 인해 축하받아야 할 신성한 결혼식장이 아수라장으로 변했습니다. 그때 받은 핍박과 비난은 필설로 이루 다 말할 수 없을 만큼 험악했습니다. 그러니 그 아픔과 반대를 딛고 합동결혼식은 반세기 넘게 지구촌 곳곳에서 면면히 이어져 오고 있습니다.

예나 지금이나 통일교회 합동결혼식은 희생과 배려의 또 다른 상징입니다. 원래 사랑에는 희생이 따릅니다. 어느 시인은  "사랑은 나를 버리는 아픔"이라고 노래하기도 했습니다. 나를 버리지 않으면 참된 사랑을 이루지 못합니다. 남자는 여자를 위해서, 여자는 남자를 위해서 태어났습니다. 그러므로 사랑하는 사람을 위해 나 자신을 기꺼이 희생해야 합니다.

"너는 좋은 대학을 졸업했고, 좋은 직업도 가졌다. 그러나 네 신부될 여인은 학교를 제대로 나오지 못했고, 집안도 가난하다. 결혼하겠느냐?"

이렇게 물으면 대부분 "싫습니다"라며 고개를 좌우로 젓습니다. 그러나 통일교회 식구들은 큰 소리로 대답합니다.

 
"네, 감사합니다."

결혼은 나보다 못한 사람을 만나서 그를 위해 열심히 살아가는 것입니다. 신랑신부는 그 진리를 감사히 받아들이지만 부모는 결사 반대합니다. 반대가 가장 극심한 경우는 한국과 일본의 신랑신부입니다.

"내가 일제시대에 받은 고통을 생각하면 지금도 치가 떨린다. 그런데 그런 원수 나라의 딸과 결혼을 하겠다니······우리 가문에 일본 며느리는 절대 들일 수 없다! 절대 안된다."

예수님은 "원수를 사랑하라"고 말씀하셨습니다. 원수를 사랑해야 평화로운 세상을 만들 수 있습니다. 그러나 평범한 사람으로서는 실행하기 쉽지 않은 말입니다. 입술을 깨물며 합동결혼식을 올린 신랑신부들은 결혼 후에도 가시밭길이 기다리고 있었지만 누구 하나 포기하지 않았습니다. 아들딸을 낳고 행복하게 잘 살아갑니다.

2018년 가을, 희망전진대회가 청평수련원 내 청심평화월드센터에서 열렸습니다. '효정 스피치'로 무대에 오른 전남 장성교회의 고바야시 게이코의 간증이 있었습니다. 그녀는 일본에서 공무원으로 남부럽지 않게 지내다가 1998년 한국으로 시집을 왔습니다. 결혼을 하면서 여느 가정처럼 달콤한 신혼생활을 기대했지만 그런 평범한 행복조차 그녀에게 허락되지 않았습니다. 남편은 간질병 환자였습니다. 평소에는 얌전하다가도 스트레스를 받으면 발작을 일으켰습니다. 그러다 보니 갈수록 삶에 무기력해지고 매사에 무관심했습니다. 어떤 일에도 감동을 느끼지 못했습니다.

그녀는 남편과 이혼하고 일본으로 돌아가야겠다는 생각만 가득했습니다. 가기 전에 청평수련원에 들렀습니다. 속죄기도라도 해야 마음이 편할 것 같았습니다. 그녀는 하나님께 매달려 기도했습니다.

며칠 후 갑자기 하늘에서 음성이 들렸습니다.

"사랑하는 내 딸아! 내가 너를 사랑하는 만큼 나는 네 남편도 사랑한단다. 몸이 약하고 외롭게 사는 불쌍한 내 아들을 네가 내 대신 보살펴 주면 안 되겠니?"

그녀는 그 자리에서 진심으로 회개하고 통곡하며 용서를 빌었습니다. 그 후 마음의 문을 열어 점차 남편을 사랑하자 하나님은 그녀에게 사랑스러운 아들을 허락해 주셨습니다. 그러자 남편에게도 변화가 생겨 몸이 건강해지고 일자리도 찾아 집안이 안정되었습니다. 지금은 부부가 열심히 5남매를 키우며 행복한 삶을 꾸려 가고 있습니다.

대회가 끝나고 며칠 후 나는 일본 선교사 모임을 가졌습니다. 전국 곳곳에서 4천여 명이 넘는 일본 부인들이 청평에 모였습니다. 마침 생일을 맞은 몇몇 부인에게 작은 선물을 전해 주면서, 지금까지 남편에게 생일선물을 받아 보았느냐고 물었습니다. 시골에서 바쁘게 살아가느라 생일을 잊고 지내는 사람이 대부분이었습니다. 그럼에도 그것에 불만을 가진 사람은 한 명도 없었습니다.

그들은 지난 30년 동안 어려운 일이 닥칠 때마다 하나님의 뜻과 참부모님을 생각하며 살아왔습니다. 나아가 일본의 과거 잘못을 대신 탕감하겠다고 참고 희생해 온 이들의 마음이 얼마나 귀한지 모릅니다. 유관순 열사의 정신을 기리며 기모노를 입은 채 엎드려 사죄하기도 했습니다.

행복은 모든 것이 갖춰진 상태에서 찾아오지 않습니다. 부족한 가운데 감사하는 마음을 가질 때 나도 모르게 찾아옵니다. 나보다 한참이나 못한 사람, 오히려 원수의 집안과 결혼할 때 바로 그곳에서 하나님의 역사가 이루어지고, 나아가 천운이 함께하는 행복이 출발합니다. 돈의 많고 적음을 따지지 말고, 직업이 무엇인지 헤아리지 말고, 외모에 마음을 빼앗기지 말아야 합니다. 진정한 인성을 갖춘 따뜻한 마음의 소유자가 최고의 배우자입니다. 그런 배우자를 만나 내 사랑을 다 줄 때 가치 있는 삶이 됩니다.

한국과 세계 곳곳에서 열린 통일교회의 합동결혼식은 인류 역사에서 가장 신성하고 보배로운 행사입니다. 지금까지 축복결혼을 받은 신랑신부는 수억 쌍에 이릅니다. 그 축복가정은 세계 어느 나라에 가든 반드시 있습니다. 한국 신랑과 일본 신부, 미국 신랑과 독일 신부, 세네갈 신랑과 필리핀 신부가 행복하게 살아갑니다. 말이 다르고 생활습관이 다른 것이야 금방 극복됩니다. 중요한 것은 부부가 서로 사랑하며 하나님의 뜻을 실천하며 살아가는 것입니다.

平和の母
第八章　家庭は最も貴い宝石です
 
2. 犠牲という一輪の花を捧げる

「この結婚には、絶対反対だ！」
「すぐに取り消せ。こんな結婚式が世の中のどこにあるっていうんだ！」
「私の娘を連れていった上に、こんな結婚をさせるなんて……ああ、悔しい」
建物の中では新郎新婦たちが花束を持って厳粛に立っているのと対照的に、外ではその親たちが群がってわめき立て、暴れています。挙げ句の果てには、練炭の灰を投げつけ、それが中にいた新婦にかかるということもありました。

一九六〇年代、統一教会の合同結婚式が行われるようになった時、世間は非常に驚きました。そして、本来祝われるべき神聖な結婚式の場が、反対する親たちによって、修羅場になったのです。その時に受けた迫害と非難は、筆舌に尽くし難いものでした。しかし痛みと反対を乗り越え、合同結婚式はこれまで半世紀以上の間、世界各地で行われてきています。
昔も今も、家庭連合の合同結婚式は、愛と犠牲の象徴となっています。本来、愛には犠牲が伴うものです。「愛とは、自分を捨てる痛み」と詠った詩人もいます。自分を捨てなければ、真の愛を実らせることはできません。

男性は女性のために、女性は男性のために生まれました。ですから愛する人のために、自分自身を喜んで犠牲にし、奉仕するのです。
「あなたは良い大学を卒業し、良い職場にも勤めています。しかし、あなたの相手となる女性は、学校をまともに出ていないし、家も貧しいです。それでも結婚しますか？」
こう聞けば、ほとんどの人が首を横に振るでしょう。しかし、家庭連合の信徒たちは大きな声でこう答えるのです。
「はい、ありがとうございます」

結婚とは、互いに不足な部分を補い合いながら、相手のために一生懸命、生きていくことです。家庭連合の新郎新婦はその真理を感謝して受け入れるのですが、親たちは必死になって反対するのです。中でも最も強い反対に遭ったのが、韓国と日本のカップルでした。
「私が日帝時代に受けた苦しみを考えると、今でも虫唾が走る。なのに、その怨讐の国の娘と結婚するとは……。うちの家系に日本の嫁を入れることは絶対にできない! 絶対ダメだ！」

イエス様は、「怨讐を愛しなさい」と語られました。怨讐を愛してこそ、平和な世界を築くことができるのです。しかし、それを普通の人が実践するのは、簡単ではありません。親に認められない悔しさを抱いたまま、唇を唱んで合同結婚式を挙げた新郎新婦たちは、結婚後も茨の道を歩みましたが、中途で投げ出すことはしませんでした。彼らは子女を生み、幸せに暮らしています。

二〇一八年の秋、希望前進大会が京畿道加平郡の清心平和ワールドセンターで開催されました。「孝情スピーチ」という時間に、全羅南道の長城教会に所属する女性が舞台に上がり、証しをしました。

彼女は日本で公務員として、不自由のない生活をしていましたが、祝福結婚をして、一九九八年に韓国に嫁いできます。甘い新婚生活を期待していた彼女でしたが、実際にはそのような平凡な幸せすら、訪れることはありませんでした。

てんかんの持病があった夫は、普段は落ち着いていても、ストレスを受けると発作を起こしました。そのうち、薬の副作用からか、次第に無気力となり、どんなことにも関心を持たず、感動を覚えることもなくなっていったのです。彼女は、夫と離婚して日本に帰ろうという思いで頭がいっぱいになったといいます。

そこで、HJ天宙天寶修錬苑に行って解決を願う折りを捧げたら、少しは気持ちが楽になるだろうと思い、修錬苑で神様にすがって祈ったのです。
すると数日後、突然、天から声が聞こえてきました。
「愛する我が娘よ！私がお前を愛するほどに、私はお前の夫のことも愛している。体が弱く、寂しい思いで暮らしているかわいそうな息子だ。お前が私の代わりに、面倒を見てくれないだろうか？」

彼女はその場で心から悔い改め、痛突しながら赦しを乞いました。
その後、心を開いて夫を愛していく中で、神様は彼女に、かわいらしい男の子を授けてくださいました。すると夫にも、変化が現れたのです。体が健康になり、働き口も見つけられて、家庭が安定しました。 今は五人の子女を育てながら、幸せに暮らしています。

大会が終わって少ししてから、在韓の日本人宣教師の集会を持ったのですが、韓国全土から四千人を超える日本人婦人が集まりました。ちょうどその日が誕生日だった数人の婦人にささやかなプレゼントを渡しながら、私は彼女たちに、今まで夫から誕生日プレゼントをもらったことがあるかと尋ねてみました。するとほとんどの人が、生活に追われるばかりで、誕生日も忘れて過ごしていたというのです。しかし、それに不満を持っている人は一人もいませんでした。

彼女たちはこれまで、長い人で三十年間、韓国で生活しながら、困難にぶつかるたびに神様のみ旨と真の父母を思い、乗り越えてきました。さらには、日本の過去の過ちを代わりに蕩減するという覚悟で、犠牲を払って歩んできたのです。どれほど貴いことでしょうか。柳寛順烈士の精神を胸に刻んで、韓日和合のための活動もしています。

幸福は、あらゆるものがそろっている状態で訪れるとは限りません。不足なものがある中でも感謝の思いを持てば、知らず知らずのうちに訪れてくるものなのです。自分よりもはるかに恵まれない人、さらには自分の怨讐の国や民族、家系の人と結婚するときこそ、まさに神様の役事が起こり、天運が宿る幸福が訪れるのです。財産や職業を問うてはならないし、容姿に心を惑わされてもいけません。本物の人格を備えた、温かい心の持ち主となることが、最高の配偶者になる道なのです。そのようにして、自らの愛をすべて捧げるとき、価値ある人生となるのです。

韓国、そして世界各地で開催されてきた家庭連合の合同結婚式は、人類歷史上、最も神聖で、貴重な行事です。これまでに祝福結婚をした新郎新婦は、数億組に上ります。今や世界のどの国に行っても、祝福家庭が必ずいます。韓国人の夫と日本人の妻、アメリカ人の夫とドイツ人の妻など、国際家庭が幸せに暮らしています。言語の違いや生活習慣の違いなどはいずれ克服できます。大切なことは、夫婦が互いに愛し合い、神様のみ旨を実践しながら生きていくことなのです。

Mother of Peace
Chapter 8 The Mother Builds The Family , The Family Builds The World
 
2. A flower called sacrifice

It was 1961, and our church was filled with brides and bridegrooms standing solemnly side by side, each bride holding a bouquet. Outside the gate, however, angry parents gathered. Through the windows came the clamor of raised voices: 'I'm absolutely against this wedding! Stop it at once! How on earth can you think this is a real marriage?” They energized each other with their outrage. “That Mr. Moon took my daughter to marry her off like this! I will never give my consent—let her out of there!' One of them even threw coal ashes over the gate, dirtying the wedding gown of a beautiful bride.

When the Unification Church conducted its first large wedding ceremony, many throughout Korea stood in vehement opposition. Parents opposed to the wedding turned a sacred venue, where the newlyweds should have been congratulated, into a place of pandemonium. There are no words to describe how severely we were attacked and maligned at that time. Yet we overcame the hurt and embraced the opposition. We have conducted what we call the Blessing Ceremony for over half a century, blessing in marriage hundreds of thousands of couples of all races, nations and religions throughout the world. This is a testimony to the fact that the Blessing Ceremony is a manifestation of God's love and truth.

The marriage Blessing Ceremony conducted by the True Parents is a sacrament rooted in single-minded devotion. It is a ceremony of true love, and true love embodies sacrifice. A poet once said, “Love is the pain of giving up myself.” We cannot achieve true love without offering ourselves. Man is born for woman and woman for man. Naturally andjoyfully we should sacrifice ourselves for our beloved. This is nowhere more evident than in our cross-cultural marriages.

“You have graduated from a prominent university, and you have a good job. Think about it—the person who is to be your spouse is of a different race, and her family lives halfway around the world. Are you going to go through with this?” When asked such a question, most people will waver. Our members, on the other hand, immediately answer, “Yes, I will. This is something I am thankful to do for a great purpose.”

The Unification movement teaches that intercultural, interracial families are the key to world peace. During my husband's life, most of our members requested that he and I arrange their marriage, for the purpose of their making a complete offering of their lives to God. In many cases, if not most, they knew that this meant they would be dedicating their life to someone who is quite different from them, who might not speak their language or know their culture. They wanted their marriage to be grounded in nothing but God, True Parents and the principles of peace. Our brides and bridegrooms requested this path with gratitude, but their parents sometimes desperately opposed it. It was the parents of the thousands of Korean-Japanese couples that faced the greatest difficulty.

One Korean father represented many when he wrote to my husband, “When I think about what we suffered under Japanese colonial rule, my blood still boils. To think that my son will marry the daughter of our enemy nation! I will never accept a Japanese daughter-in-law into our family. Never!” Many parents of the Japanese brides felt the same from their side of the divide.

Jesus said, “Love your enemy.” Most people admit that a peaceful world will come only when we love our enemies. Nonetheless, it is not easy for most of us to translate Jesus' words into action. Some brides and grooms bit their lips as they took part in these joint wedding ceremonies. Their course was by no means smooth as they prepared for their marriage and spent the first years of their lives together. But their commitment to live for a purpose beyond themselves, centered on God, gave them the strength necessary to liquidate the underlying terrible history of their two nations that had been enemies. They were able to dissolve this bitter root through coming to understand each other and healing each other's pain.

In the autumn of 2018, we held a Rally of Hope at the Cheongshim Peace World Center, an arena with a capacity of 20,000 located in our HJ Cheonwon complex, east of Seoul. During a members' testimony session, Keiko Kobayashi, a Japanese wife living in Korea's South Jeolla Province with a Korean husband, came to the podium to share her heart.

In 1998, she said, while living a comfortable life as a public official in Japan, she applied for the matching and was matched and then blessed in marriage to a Korean man. She moved to Korea, expecting that they would live happily as newlyweds. However, her hopes for happiness were dashed because her husband suffered from epilepsy. Although he was usually calm, when under stress he was prone to epileptic fits. He grew lethargic and became indifferent about life in general. Nothing could inspire him.

Keiko thought seriously about ending the marriage and returning to Japan. But first she decided to put her mind at ease by traveling to our Cheongpyeong Training Center to offer a week of prayer and devotions before making her final decision. She had already had many good experiences at this Center, participating in workshops with hundreds of members from Korea, Japan and around the world. For several days, she clung to God, prayed to Him, and turned her ears toward Heaven. God heard her prayer, and spoke to her: “My beloved daughter! Just as I love you as my daughter, I love your husband as my son. Can you not take care of him on My behalf, as my poor son whose body is weak and who is living in loneliness?”

Hearing this, she said, she broke down in tears of repentance and sincerely asked God for forgiveness. She returned home, opened her heart to her husband and learned to love him. Soon thereafter, God rewarded her by giving them a lovely son and changes began taking place in her husband. His health improved, he was able to get a job, and the family stabilized. Now they are living happily together, raising five sons and daughters. This is what Keiko shared with the audience.

A few days after that rally, I convened a meeting at Cheongpyeong with more than 4,000 Japanese wives of Korean husbands; they had gathered from all parts of Korea. I gave small presents to those among them who, as luck would have it, had their birthday on that day. I asked them if they had ever received a birthday gift from their husbands. Most of them answered that they did not celebrate birthdays at all because they were too busy with the strenuous task of making a living in rural areas. Yet not one of them was discontented. They testified that their lives were dedicated to God's will and that when they face difficulties their bond with True Parents strengthens them.

I treasure these women all the more because they endured and sacrificed themselves as representatives of their nation. They gathered in Seoul in 2019 to pay respects to the spirit of Ryu Gwan-sun, a girl of 18 who, in 1920, gave her life as a martyr in protest of the Japanese occupation of Korea. Our Japanese sisters gathered in their kimonos to pray for this young woman martyr for independence and to ask for forgiveness on behalf of Japan.

Happiness does not come to us when we have everything. It comes mysteriously, when we have seemingly lost everything yet still feel gratitude. When a woman marries a man with a disability or who is of a different religious background or racial minority, that is where God can work miracles. True love transcends historical divisions that resulted from sin and allows happiness and heavenly fortune to find a home. The blessed marriage tradition places true love above considerations of appearance and social status. A person that develops true character and a warm heart will make a good spouse. When you meet such a person and give him or her all your love, yours becomes a worthy life indeed.

The marriage Blessing Ceremony of the Unification Church movement is the most sacred and precious event in human history. Why? It is because the Blessing imparts Heavenly Parent's spiritual reality and allows a man and a woman to embody it as one flesh. It is the veritable marriage supper of the Lamb of which the Bible speaks. Our larger Blessing Ceremonies gather tens of thousands of couples, but there have been some with just three or four, and once in a while my husband and I have blessed just one couple. Thousands of our representative blessed central families in Korea and throughout the world have also officiated Blessing Ceremonies.

Millions of couples have received the marriage Blessing. You will find these blessed families in every country. Couples composed of a Korean groom and Japanese bride, an American groom and German bride, a Senegalese groom and Filipino bride, all live in happiness. They overcome differences in language and lifestyle. The foundation for this is in the vows that blessed couples make during the Blessing Ceremony, that the husband and the wife will share true love and live in accordance with God's will.