I learned what it means to have faith in God and to surrender over the past few weeks. One of the most important lessons in surrendering was not just the thought of surrendering but the action that corresponds to it.
I had a big impression in my heart to surrender my family to Jesus. I had a difficult time putting Jesus first, and I didn’t want to believe that putting Jesus first was the right thing to do. I was taught for many years that Jesus comes first, then family. Yet, all the actions, testimonies, and prayers looked as if Christians were putting family first. They, including me, poured energy and prayer into developing positive relationships with family members. I knew that putting Jesus first didn’t necessarily mean neglecting my family and treating them poorly, but I also knew that family members shouldn’t dictate my direction in life.
Thursday’s HODAH gathering was one of the most challenging places to attend because my spouse did not like me going there. In fact, going to deliverance almost cost me my marriage. When we were separated, I snuck myself out while my parents watched my kids at night. I would pretend I was sleeping and didn’t text my spouse because I was “sleeping.” Since he was far away, he did not know of my whereabouts. However, when we rejoined, I couldn’t sneak out secretly.
This is when I had the opportunity to put Jesus first over HODAH. Do I risk the anger, the silent treatments, and the bitterness that comes from my spouse or any other outside source after I attend this place? Is it worth it to shake the family dynamic on Thursdays just so that I can go to HODAH? Isn’t listening to the recordings of DK and You Are My Angel enough to justify I went to HODAH?
I don’t know about others, but for me, going on Thursday HODAH night was putting Jesus first. I didn’t want to go because of the repercussions that followed. Before my winter break (I am a teacher, so I get winter breaks), I had a great excuse – I had work, so I didn’t go to HODAH. Now that I was on a break, I had no excuse.
During the first week of winter break, I was Covid positive. I am shameless to say, but I was glad because I had another great excuse not to attend HODAH. However, I knew 6 more weeks followed, and I was out of excuses. Then, ssshang, I decided to put Jesus first. On Thursday, I strategically made the kids' and husband’s favorite meals, made sure the house was in order and made sure the kids' homework was all taken care of. After I put them to bed, I left for HODAH.
Did I face some repercussions? Yes, but I put Jesus first.
Three weeks later, I went to HODAH with complete freedom (During these three weeks, other events happened, which I will share with HODAH at a later time.)
Even my husband jokingly says, “Today must be Thursday!” when he sees me frying his favorite shrimp dish or grilling Korean BBQ pork. He jokingly says, “Hurry up and quickly wash the kids, or you’ll be late! It’s Thursday!.” I laugh as he smiles. This is how I started to go to HODAH after 3 weeks later.
I laid down my family and I thought I will go through a long persecutions at home. I put Jesus first by going to HODAH.
This is when I learned that the thought of surrendering must be accompanied by actions. What I needed to surrender was my family. My action was going to HODAH. Those two went hand-in-hand.
I thought I was done surrendering, but there were more Jesus revealed for me to give up to him, and I am working through them now. I am so glad I went through surrendering my family for Jesus because I know that my surrender requires action, which pleases my God. If it pleases my God, I dare to say I am sufficient.
The incredible happiness that overpowers me is overwhelming.
Amen
첫댓글 담대함을 주신 하나님께 감사~!
항복케 하심에 감사~!
앞으로 나올 간증도 더욱 기대되어요~~~~~
Love u~~~~^^
Amen! Sister ❤️ I love your confession, it wasn’t a test from God but it was a given opportunity to submit to our forever husband! So He knows and testifies who you are Himself! Thank you Jesus!!