Re: 2A 208 (Alexander)

[Sub Tutor]

The title of this book is "An Old, Old Story".

Freddy Howard came home from school and dumped his books on the table. Freddy's eyes shone with excitement. They told stories around the campfire. Freddy picked up an apple.

That night, when Freddy was ready for bed, his mother told him an old story. The animals teased the Man and the Woman because they had no tools. The Man and the Woman were hungry. The Man and the Woman thanked Ku and went back to the village. The animals were afraid of each other. These animals do not tease the Man and the Woman.

Mrs. Howard laughed softly. Freddy told the story during the story hour.

Grade: B+

Tips:

• 문장을 조금 더 자세히 구체화하면 좋습니다. 예를 들어 "Freddy는 학교에서 돌아와 책을 책상에 내려놓았다. 그의 눈은 흥분으로 빛났다."와 같이 말이죠.
• 등장인물들의 행동이나 감정을 묘사하는 문장이 좀 더 풍부하면 재미있는 이야기가 될 것 같습니다.
• 전체적인 흐름은 잘 나타나고 있지만, 문장 구조나 문법적 오류를 좀 더 개선할 필요가 있습니다.