Re: 2A- 208 (Bella)

[Sub Tutor]

The title of this book is "An Old, Old Story".

One day, Freddy's mom asked, "How did your science report go?"

"It's good, but Billy Redcloud gave the best report," Freddy answered. "He is a real Indian. They built campfires and they told stories around the campfire," Freddy said.

So Mom told a story about the animals. "When Ku, the Man and the Woman came down to Earth, he sent them with the animals. At first, the animals teased the Man because they didn't have tools. So they were so hungry. Ku looked at their situation and he gave them a sharp knife. So the Man attacked the animals. Then some animals asked him not to kill them. So they lived in the Man's house together."

I think this book is interesting.

Grade: A-

Tips:

• 전체적으로 문장 구조와 흐름이 매우 좋습니다. 이야기의 세부 내용도 잘 전달되고 있어요.
• 등장인물들의 감정이나 행동을 좀 더 자세히 서술하면 더 생동감 있는 이야기가 될 것 같습니다.
• 문법적인 부분도 매우 잘 표현되었습니다.