PART 4 // chapter 4-1

[모나리자]

라스콜니코프는 소냐가 사는 운하 기슭에 있는 집으로 곧장 갔다. 3층짜리 오래된 온실이었다. 그는 문지기에게 찾아가 재단사 카페르나우모프의 행방에 대한 모호한 지시를 받았다. 안뜰 구석에서 어둡고 좁은 계단 입구를 발견한 그는 2층으로 올라가 안뜰 위의 2층 전체를 둘러싼 갤러리로 나왔다. 그가 카페르나우모프의 문으로 가는 길을 모른 채 어둠 속을 헤매고 있을 때, 세 걸음 떨어진 곳에서 문이 열렸다. 그는 기계적으로 문을 잡았다. "누구세요?" 한 여성의 목소리가 불안하게 물었다.

"저예요... 당신을 보러 왔어요." 라스콜니코프가 대답하고 그는 작은 현관으로 들어갔다. 부러진 의자 위에 낡은 구리 촛대에 촛불이 꽂혀 있었다. "당신이에요! 세상에!" 소냐가 힘없이 외쳤고 그녀는 그 자리에 뿌리를 박고 섰다. "어느 방이에요? 이쪽이에요?" 그리고 라스콜니코프는 그녀를 보지 않으려고 애쓰며 서둘러 들어왔다. 1분 후 소냐도 양초를 들고 들어와 촛대를 내려놓고 완전히 당황한 채로 그의 앞에 서서 형언할 수 없을 정도로 흥분했고 그의 예상치 못한 방문에 겁먹은 듯했다.

그녀의 창백한 얼굴에 갑자기 혈색이 돌았고 눈물이 났다... 그녀는 메스꺼움과 부끄러움, 행복함을 느꼈다.... 라스콜니코프는 재빨리 돌아서서 테이블 옆 의자에 앉았다. 그는 재빨리 방을 훑어보았다. 그것은 크지만 매우 낮은 음조의 방이었고, 카페르나우모프가 허락한 유일한 방이었고, 왼쪽 벽에 닫힌 문이 그 방으로 이어졌다. 오른쪽 벽의 반대편에는 항상 잠겨 있는 또 다른 문이 있었다. 그것은 별도의 숙박 시설을 형성하는 다음 아파트로 이어졌다. 소냐의 방은 헛간처럼 보였다. 그것은 매우 불규칙한 사각형이었고 이것이 그로테스크한 ​​모습을 갖게 했다.

운하를 바라보는 세 개의 창문이 있는 벽이 기울어져 있어서 한 모서리가 매우 예각을 이루었고, 매우 강한 빛이 없으면 보기 힘들었습니다. 다른 모서리는 비례적으로 둔각이었습니다. 큰 방에는 가구가 거의 없었습니다. 오른쪽 모서리에 침대가 있었고, 그 옆에 문에 가장 가까운 곳에 의자가 있었습니다. 파란색 천으로 덮인 평범하고 싼 테이블이 같은 벽에, 다른 아파트로 통하는 문 가까이에 서 있었습니다. 두 개의 갈대 바닥 의자가 테이블 옆에 서 있었습니다.

예각 근처의 반대쪽 벽에는 사막에서 길을 잃은 것처럼 보이는 작고 평범한 나무 서랍장이 서 있었습니다. 방에는 그게 전부였습니다. 노랗고 긁히고 초라한 벽지는 모서리가 검은색이었습니다. 겨울에는 축축하고 연기가 가득했을 것입니다. 가난의 흔적이 가득했습니다. 침대조차도 커튼이 없었습니다.

소냐는 그녀의 방을 주의 깊고 예의 바르지 않게 살피고 있는 방문객을 침묵 속에 바라보았고, 마침내 공포에 떨기 시작했다. 마치 그녀가 판사와 그녀의 운명을 결정하는 사람 앞에 서 있는 것처럼. "늦었네요... 열한 시가 맞죠?" 그는 여전히 눈을 뜨지 않은 채 물었다.

"네," 소냐가 중얼거렸다. "오, 맞아요," 그녀는 서둘러 덧붙였다. 마치 탈출구가 거기에 있는 것처럼. "저희 집주인의 시계가 방금 울렸어요... 제가 직접 들었어요..." "마지막으로 당신을 찾아왔어요." 라스콜니코프가 우울하게 말을 이었다. 하지만 이번이 처음이었다.

"다시는 당신을 볼 수 없을지도 몰라요..." "당신은... 떠나요?" "모르겠어요... 내일..." "그럼 내일 카테리나 이바노브나에게 오지 않으시겠어요?" 소냐의 목소리가 떨렸다. "모르겠어요. 내일 아침이 되면 알게 될 거야.... 그건 잠시 접어두고, 한 마디 하러 왔어..." 그는 침울한 눈빛으로 그녀를 바라보더니, 갑자기 자신은 앉아 있는 반면 그녀는 쭉 그 앞에 서 있다는 것을 깨달았다.

"왜 서 있어? 앉아." 그는 변한 목소리로 부드럽고 친절하게 말했다. 그녀가 앉았다. 그는 그녀를 친절하고 거의 동정하는 듯이 바라보았다. "얼마나 말랐어! 얼마나 큰 손이야! 마치 죽은 손처럼 투명해." 그는 그녀의 손을 잡았다. 소냐는 희미하게 미소를 지었다. "나는 항상 그랬어." 그녀가 말했다. "네가 집에 살 때도?" "네." "물론이지, 그랬지." 그는 갑자기 덧붙였고 그의 얼굴 표정과 목소리의 소리가 다시 갑자기 바뀌었다. 그는 다시 한 번 주변을 둘러보았다.

"카페르나우모프에서 이 방을 빌렸어?" "네..." "그들은 저 문을 통해 거기 살고 있어?" "네.... 그들은 이런 방을 또 하나 가지고 있어." "모두 한 방에?" "네." "나는 밤에 네 방에서 무서워해야 할 거야." 그는 우울하게 관찰했다. "그들은 아주 좋은 사람들이고 아주 친절해." 여전히 당황한 듯 보였던 소냐가 대답했다. "그리고 모든 가구, 모든 것... 모든 것이 그들의 거야. 그리고 그들은 매우 친절했고 아이들도 종종 나를 보러 왔어요." "그들은 모두 더듬거리죠, 그렇죠?" "그렇죠... 그는 더듬거리고 절름발이에요.

그리고 그의 아내도... 그녀가 더듬거리는 건 아니지만, 제대로 말을 못해요. 그녀는 매우 친절한 여자예요. 그리고 그는 집안일을 했어요. 그리고 일곱 명의 아이들이 있어요... 그리고 가장 큰 아이만 더듬거리고 다른 아이들은 그냥 아플 뿐이에요... 하지만 그들은 더듬거리지 않아요... 하지만 당신은 그들에 대해 어디서 들었어요?" 그녀는 약간 놀라면서 덧붙였다.

"그럼 당신 아버지가 말씀하셨어요. 당신에 대한 모든 걸 말씀하셨어요... 그리고 당신이 여섯 시에 나가서 아홉 시에 돌아왔고 카테리나 이바노브나가 당신 침대 옆에 무릎을 꿇었다는 것도요." 소냐는 혼란스러워했다. "오늘 그를 본 것 같아요." 그녀는 주저하며 속삭였다.

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5810p

CHAPTER IV

Raskolnikov went straight to the house on the canal bank where Sonia lived. It was an old green house of three storeys. He found the porter and obtained from him vague directions as to the whereabouts of Kapernaumov, the tailor. Having found in the corner of the courtyard the entrance to the dark and narrow staircase, he mounted to the second floor and came out into a gallery that ran round the whole second storey over the yard. While he was wandering in the darkness, uncertain where to turn for Kapernaumov’s door, a door opened three paces from him; he mechanically took hold of it. “Who is there?” a woman’s voice asked uneasily.

“It’s I... come to see you,” answered Raskolnikov and he walked into the tiny entry. On a broken chair stood a candle in a battered copper candlestick. “It’s you! Good heavens!” cried Sonia weakly, and she stood rooted to the spot. “Which is your room? This way?” and Raskolnikov, trying not to look at her, hastened in. A minute later Sonia, too, came in with the candle, set down the candlestick and, completely disconcerted, stood before him inexpressibly agitated and apparently frightened by his unexpected visit.

The colour rushed suddenly to her pale face and tears came into her eyes... She felt sick and ashamed and happy, too.... Raskolnikov turned away quickly and sat on a chair by the table. He scanned the room in a rapid glance. It was a large but exceedingly low-pitched room, the only one let by the Kapernaumovs, to whose rooms a closed door led in the wall on the left. In the opposite side on the right hand wall was another door, always kept locked. That led to the next flat, which formed a separate lodging. Sonia’s room looked like a barn; it was a very irregular quadrangle and this gave it a grotesque appearance.

A wall with three windows looking out on to the canal ran aslant so that one corner formed a very acute angle, and it was difficult to see in it without very strong light. The other corner was disproportionately obtuse. There was scarcely any furniture in the big room: in the corner on the right was a bedstead, beside it, nearest the door, a chair. A plain, deal table covered by a blue cloth stood against the same wall, close to the door into the other flat. Two rush-bottom chairs stood by the table.

On the opposite wall near the acute angle stood a small plain wooden chest of drawers looking, as it were, lost in a desert. That was all there was in the room. The yellow, scratched and shabby wall-paper was black in the corners. It must have been damp and full of fumes in the winter. There was every sign of poverty; even the bedstead had no curtain.

Sonia looked in silence at her visitor, who was so attentively and unceremoniously scrutinising her room, and even began at last to tremble with terror, as though she was standing before her judge and the arbiter of her destinies. “I am late.... It’s eleven, isn’t it?” he asked, still not lifting his eyes.

“Yes,” muttered Sonia, “oh yes, it is,” she added, hastily, as though in that lay her means of escape. “My landlady’s clock has just struck... I heard it myself....” “I’ve come to you for the last time,” Raskolnikov went on gloomily, although this was the first time.

“I may perhaps not see you again...” “Are you... going away?” “I don’t know... to-morrow....” “Then you are not coming to Katerina Ivanovna to-morrow?” Sonia’s voice shook. “I don’t know. I shall know to-morrow morning.... Never mind that: I’ve come to say one word....” He raised his brooding eyes to her and suddenly noticed that he was sitting down while she was all the while standing before him.

“Why are you standing? Sit down,” he said in a changed voice, gentle and friendly. She sat down. He looked kindly and almost compassionately at her. “How thin you are! What a hand! Quite transparent, like a dead hand.” He took her hand. Sonia smiled faintly. “I have always been like that,” she said. “Even when you lived at home?” “Yes.” “Of course, you were,” he added abruptly and the expression‎ of his face and the sound of his voice changed again suddenly. He looked round him once more.

“You rent this room from the Kapernaumovs?” “Yes....” “They live there, through that door?” “Yes.... They have another room like this.” “All in one room?” “Yes.” “I should be afraid in your room at night,” he observed gloomily. “They are very good people, very kind,” answered Sonia, who still seemed bewildered, “and all the furniture, everything... everything is theirs. And they are very kind and the children, too, often come to see me.” “They all stammer, don’t they?” “Yes.... He stammers and he’s lame.

And his wife, too.... It’s not exactly that she stammers, but she can’t speak plainly. She is a very kind woman. And he used to be a house serf. And there are seven children... and it’s only the eldest one that stammers and the others are simply ill... but they don’t stammer.... But where did you hear about them?” she added with some surprise.

“Your father told me, then. He told me all about you.... And how you went out at six o’clock and came back at nine and how Katerina Ivanovna knelt down by your bed.” Sonia was confused. “I fancied I saw him to-day,” she whispered hesitatingly.