Re: Max and Ruby - Jia

[Teacher Winget]

Ruby and her many friends decided to play baseball.
And Meanwhile, Max wanted to play in the playground with his toys.

But Ruby didn't know how to play baseball.
So, Roger informed how to play it taught her how to play.

But Max bothered for her to use his toy plane bothered her by using his toy plane, so Ruby did a little scold scolded him a little.

However Still, Max continued to bother her.

But his plane toy toy plane helped her to do Home Run hit a home run.
Thanks to Max, Ruby did a Home Run hit a home run.

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Score: B+

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Tips)

• "informed"은 설명보다는 알리는 느낌이에요. “taught”가 더 자연스러워요.

• "did a home run"이 아니라 “hit a home run”이라고 해요.

• "bothered for her"는 이상한 표현이에요. 그냥 "bothered her"로 쓰면 돼요.

• Ruby가 화났을 때 어떤 기분이었는지 한 문장 더 추가해 보세요.

• 마지막에 Ruby가 Max에게 고마워하는 장면이 있으면 이야기가 더 따뜻해져요.