FULL
METAL
JACKET
The screenplay by
Stanley Kubrick, Michael Herr and Gustav Hasford
Based on the novel The short-Timers by Gustav Hasford
1987
-----------------------------------------------------
FADE IN:
WARNER BROS. LOGO:
WARNER BROS. PICTURES
WB
A WARNER COMMUNICATIONS COMPANY
LOGO FADES OUT:
Music: Johnny Wright's "Hello Vietnam"
TITLE: A STANLEY KUBRICK FILM
CUT TO:
TITLE: FULL METAL JACKET
CUT TO:
1 INT. BARBERSHOP--PARRIS ISLAND MARINE BASE--
DAY
Marine recruits having their heads shaved with
electric clippers. The hair piles up on the floor.
2 INT. BARRACKS--DAY
Marine recruits stand at attention in front of their
bunks.
Master Gunnery Sergeant HARTMAN walks along the
line of blank-faced recruits.
HARTMAN
I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your Senior
Drill Instructor. From now on, you will speak
only when spoken to, and the first and last
words out of your filthy sewers will be "Sir!"
Do you maggots understand that?
RECRUITS
(in unison)
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Bullshit! I can't hear you. Sound off like you
got a pair.
RECRUITS
(louder)
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
If you ladies leave my island, if you survive
recruit training ... you will be a weapon, you
will be a minister of death, praying for war.
But until that day you are pukes! You're the
lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even
human fucking beings! You are nothing but
unorganized grabasstic pieces of amphibian
shit!
Because I am hard, you will not like me. But
the more you hate me, the more you will
learn. I am hard, but I am fair! There is no
racial bigotry here! I do not look down on
niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you
are all equally worthless! And my orders are
to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack
the gear to serve in my beloved Corps! Do
you maggots understand that?
RECRUITS
(in unison)
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Bullshit! I can't hear you!
RECRUITS
(louder)
Sir, yes, sir!
Sergeant HARTMAN stops in front of a black recruit,
Private SNOWBALL.
HARTMAN
What's your name, scumbag?
SNOWBALL
(shouting)
Sir, Private Brown, sir!
HARTMAN
Bullshit! From now on you're Private
Snowball! Do you like that name?
SNOWBALL
(shouting)
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Well, there's one thing that you won't like,
Private Snowball! They don't serve fried
chicken and watermelon on a daily basis in
my mess hall!
SNOWBALL
Sir, yes, sir!
JOKER
(whispering)
Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?
HARTMAN
Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's
the slimy little communist shit twinkle-toed
cocksucker down here, who just signed his
own death warrant? Nobody, huh?! The fairy
fucking godmother said it! Out-fucking-
standing! I will P.T. you all until you fucking
die! I'll P.T. you until your assholes are
sucking buttermilk.
Sergeant HARTMAN grabs cowboy by the shirt.
HARTMAN
Was it you, you scroungy little fuck, huh?!
COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
You little piece of shit! You look like a fucking
worm! I'll bet it was you!
COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!
JOKER
Sir, I said it, sir!
Sergeant HARTMAN steps up to JOKER.
HARTMAN
Well ... no shit. What have we got here, a
fucking comedian? Private Joker? I admire
your honesty. Hell, I like you. You can come
over to my house and fuck my sister.
Sergeant HARTMAN purnches JOKER in the stomach.
JOKER sags to his knees.
HARTMAN
You little scumbag! I've got your name! I've
got your ass! You will not laugh! You will not
cry! You will learn by the numbers. I will
teach you. Now get up! Get on your feet! You
had best unfuck yourself or I will unscrew
your head and shit down your neck!
JOKER
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Private Joker, why did you join my beloved
Corps?
JOKER
Sir, to kill, sir!
HARTMAN
So you're a killer!
JOKER
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Let me see your war face!
JOKER
Sir?
HARTMAN
You've got a war face? Aaaaaaaagh! That's a
war face. Now let me see your war face!
JOKER
Aaaaaaaagh!
HARTMAN
Bullshit! You didn't convince me! Let me see
your real war face!
JOKER
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!
HARTMAN
You didn't scare me! Work on it!
JOKER
Sir, yes, sir!
Sergeant HARTMAN speaks into cowboy's face.
HARTMAN
What's your excuse?
COWBOY
Sir, excuse for what, sir?
HARTMAN
I'm asking the fucking questions here,
Private. Do you understand?!
COWBOY
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Well thank you very much! Can I be in charge
for a while?
COWBOY
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Are you shook up? Are you nervous?
COWBOY
Sir, I am, sir!
HARTMAN
Do I make you nervous?
COWBOY
Sir!
HARTMAN
Sir, what? Were you about to call me an
asshole?!
COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
How tall are you, Private?
COWBOY
Sir, five foot nine, sir!
HARTMAN
Five foot nine? I didn't know they stacked shit
that high! You trying to squeeze an inch in on
me somewhere, huh?
COWBOY
Sir, no, sir.
HARTMAN
Bullshit! It looks to me like the best part of
you ran down the crack of your mama's ass
and ended up as a brown stain on the
mattress! I think you've been cheated!
HARTMAN
Where in hell are you from anyway, Private?
COWBOY
Sir, Texas, sir!
HARTMAN
Holy dogshit! Texas! Only steers and queers
come from Texas, Private Cowboy! And you
don't look much like a steer to me, so that
kinda narrows it down! Do you suck dicks!
COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
Are you a peter-puffer?
COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck
a person in the ass and not even have the
goddam common courtesy to give him a reach-
around! I'll be watching you!
Sergeant HARTMAN walks down the line to another
recruit, a tall, overtweight boy.
HARTMAN
Did your parents have any children that lived?
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
I'll bet they regret that! You're so ugly you
could be a modern art masterpiece! What's
your name, fatbody?
PYLE
Sir, Leonard Lawrence, sir!
HARTMAN
Lawrence? Lawrence, what, of Arabia?
PYLE
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
That name sounds like royalty! Are you
royalty?
PYLE
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
Do you suck dicks?
PYLE
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
Bullshit! I'll bet you could suck a golf ball
through a garden hose!
PYLE
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
I don't like the name Lawrence! Only faggots
and sailors are called Lawrence! From now on
you're Gomer Pyle!
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
PYLE has the trace of a strange smile on his face.
HARTMAN
Do you think I'm cute, Private Pyle? Do you
think I'm funny?
PYLE
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
Then wipe that disgusting grin off your face!
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Well, any fucking time, sweetheart!
PYLE
Sir, I'm trying, sir.
HARTMAN
Private Pyle, I'm gonna give you three
seconds--excactly three fucking seconds--to
wipe that stupid-looking grin off your face, or
I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-fuck
you! One! Two! Three!
PYLE purses his lips but continues to smile
involuntarily.
PYLE
Sir, I can't help it, sir!
HARTMAN
Bullshit! Get on your knees, scumbag!
PYLE gets down on his FEnees.
HARTMAN
Now choke yourself!
PYLE places his hands around his throat as if to
choke himself.
HARTMAN
Goddamn it, with my hand, numbnuts!!
PYLE reaches for HARTMAN's hand. HARTMAN jerks
it away.
HARTMAN
Don't pull my fucking hand over there! I said
choke yourself! Now lean forward and choke
yourself!
PYLE leans forward so that his neck rests in
HARTMAN's open hand.
HARTMAN chokes PYLE.
PYLE gags and starts to turn red in the face.
HARTMAN
Are you through grinning?
PYLE
(barely able to speak)
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Bullshit! I can't hear you!
PYLE
(gasping)
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Bullshit! I still can't hear you! Sound offlike
you got a pair!
PYLE
(gagging)
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
That's enough! Get on your feet!
HARTMAN releases PYLE's throat. PYLE gets to his feet,
breathing heavily.
HARTMAN
Private Pyle, you had best square your ass
away and start shitting me Tiffany cuff links
... or I will definitely fuck you up!
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
3 EXT. PARRIS ISLAND--DAY
The training platoon is double-timing in formation.
HARTMAN is calling cadence.
HARTMAN
. . right, left, right, left! Left, right, left,
right, left! Left, right, left, right, left!
JOKER
(narration)
Parris Island, South Carolina.... the United
States Marine Corps Recruit Depot. An eight-
week college for the phony-tough and the
crazy-brave.
HARTMAN
Mama and Papa were laying in bed.
RECRUITS
(chanting in. cadence)
Mama and Papa were laying in bed.
HARTMAN
Mama rolled over, this is what she said...
RECRUITS
Mama rolled over, this is what she said...
HARTMAN
Ah, gimme some...
RECRUITS
Ah, gimme some...
HARTMAN
Ah, gimme some...
RECRUITS
Ah, gimme some...
HARTMAN
P.T....
REcRuITs
P.T....
HARTMAN
P.T....
REcRuITs
P.T....
HARTMAN
Good for you!
RECRUITS
Good for you!
HARTMAN
And good for me!
RECRUITS
And good for me!
HARTMAN
Mmm, good.
RECRUITS
Mmm, good.
HARTMAN
Up in the morning to the rising sun.
RECRUITS
Up in the morning to the rising sun.
HARTMAN
Gotta run all day...
4 EXT. PRACTICE FIELD--SUNSET
Recruits, silhouetted against the sun, climbing
ropes, nets and ladders.
HARTMAN
...till the running's done!
RECRUITS
Gotta run all day till the running's done!
HARTMAN
Ho Chi Minh is a son-of-a-bitch!
RECRUITS
Ho Chi Minh is a son-of-a-bitch!
HARTMAN
Got the blueballs, crabs and the seven-year-
itch!
RECRUITS
Got the blueballs, crabs and the seven-year-
itch!
DISSOLVE TO:
5 EXT. PARADE DECK--DAY
HARTMAN marches the platoon across a wide
expanse of asphalt. The recruits carry rifles.
HARTMAN
Left, right, left, right, left! To your left
shoulder . . . hut! Left, right, left! Port . . .
hut!
HARTMAN
Left, right! Platoon ... halt! Left shoulder ...
hut!
PYLE momentarily places his rifle on the wrong
shoulder and immediately corrects himself:
HARTMAN spots this and walks up to him.
HARTMAN
Private Pyle, what are you trying to do to my
beloved Corps?
PYLE
Sir, I don't know, sir!
HARTMAN
You are dumb, Private Pyle, but do you
expect me to believe that you don't know left
from right?
PYLE
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
Then you did that on purpose! You want to
be different!
PYLE
Sir, no, sir.
HARTMAN slaps PYLE hard across the left cheek.
HARTMAN
What side was that, Private Pyle?!
PYLE
Sir, left side, sir!
HARTMAN
Are you sure, Private Pyle?
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN SlaPS pnE hard across the right cheek,
Knocking his cap off:
HARTMAN
What side was that, Private Pyle?
PYLE
Sir, right side, sir.
HARTMAN
Don't fuck with me again, Pyle! Pick up
your fucking cover!
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
DISSOLVE TO:
6 EXT. PARADE DECK--DAY
HARTMAN marching the platoon. - bringing up the
rear is PYLE, his fatigue pants down around his
ankles; he is sucking his thumb and he carries his
rifle muzzle down.
7 INT. BARRACKS--NIGHT
HARTMAN walks along the line of recruits in skivvies
holding their rifles and standing at attention in.
front of their bunks.
HARTMAN
Tonight ... you pukes will sleep with your
rifles! You will give your rifle a girl's name!
Because this is the only pussy you people are
going to get! Your days of finger-banging old
Mary Jane Rottencrotch through her pretty
pink panties are over! You're married to this
piece, this weapon of iron and wood! And you
will be faithful! Port ... hut! Prepare to
mount! Mount!
On HARTMAN's command the platoon mount their
bunks with their rifles and lie on their backs at
attention.
HARTMAN
Port . . . hut!
The recruits snap their rifles to the port arms
position. over their chests.
HARTMAN
Pray!
RECRUITS
(in unison)
This is my rifle. There are many like it, but
this one is mine. My rifle is my best friend. It
is my life. I must master it, as I must master
my life.
Without me my rifle is useless. Without my
rifle, I am useless. I must fire my rifle true. I
must shoot straighter than my enemy who is
trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he
shoots me. I will.
Before God I swear this creed. My rifle and
myself are defenders of my country. We are
the masters of our enemy. We are the saviours
of my life. So be it .. . until there is no enemy
... but peace. Amen.
HARTMAN
Order . . . hut!
The recruits snap their rifles down to their sides.
HARTMAN
At ease!
HARTMAN turns off the barracks lights.
HARTMAN
Good night, ladies.
RECRUITS
(in unison)
Good night, sir!
HARTMAN
(to duty guard)
Hit it, sweetheart!
DUTY GUARD
Sir, aye-aye, sir!
8 EXT. PARADE FIELD--DAWN
HARTMAN drills the platoon.
HARTMAN
Right shoulder ... hut! This is not your
daddy's shotgun, Cowboy. Left shoulder ...
hut! Move your rifle around your head, not
your head around your rifle. Port ... hut!
Four inches from your chest, Pyle! Four
inches!
9 INT. BARRACKS--NIGHT
HARTMAN marches the recruits through the squad
bay. Their rifles are at shoulder arms and their
left hands clutch their genitals.
HARTMAN
This is my rifle! This is my gun!
RECRUITS
This is for fighting! This is for fun!
HARTMAN
This is my rifle! This is my gun!
RECRUITS
This is my rifle! This is my gun!
They repeat this over and over again as they
march up and down the squad bay.
DISSOLVE TO:
10 EXT. PARADE DECK--DAY
HARTMAN marching the platoon, calling cadence.
11 EXT. "ARMSTRETCHER" OBSTACLE--DAY
Hand over hand the recruits swing along the
"Armstretcher."
HARTMAN
Ten fucking seconds! It should take you no
more than ten fucking seconds to negotiate
this obstacle! Quickly, move it out! There
ain't one swinging dick private in this pla-
toon's gonna graduate until they can get
this obstacle down to less than ten fuck-
ing seconds!
12 EXT. "TOUGH ONE" OBSTACLE--DAY
HARTMAN watches as the recruits climb ropes and
ladders to a high wooden tower above the platform
13 EXT. PUGIL-STICK CIRCLE--DAY
PYLE and another recruit, wearing football-style
helmets, batter each other with pugil sticks.
The recruits are formed up around them in a cir-
cle. They cheer as PYLE is beaten, to the ground.
14. EXT. "DIRTY NAME" OBSTACLE--DAY
RECRURTS waiting in two lines for their turn.
HARTMAN
Next two privates! Quickly!
The next two recruits struggle over the obstacle.
HARTMAN
Get over that goddamn obstacle! Move it!
Next two privates! Quickly! Hurry up! Get
up there!
JOKER and another recruit go over easily.
HARTMAN
Private Joker, are you a killer?
JOKER
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Let me hear your war cry!
JOKER
Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh!
HARTMAN
Next two privates, go!
PYLE and another recruit. PYLE is hopeless.
HARTMAN
Quickly! Get your fat ass over there, Private
Pyle! Oh, that's right, Private Pyle ... don't
make any fucking effort to get to the top of
the fucking obstacle! If God wanted you up
there He would have miracled your ass up
there by now, wouldn't He?
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Get your fat ass up there, Pyle!
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
What the hell is the matter with you anyway?
I'll bet you if there was some pussy up there
on top of that obstacle you could get up there!
Couldn't you?!
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
PYLE drops heavily to the groulzd.
HARTMAN
Your ass looks like about a hundred and fifty
pounds of chewed bubble gum, Pyle. Do you
know that?
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
15 EXT. CHINNING BAR--DAY
Recruits are doing pull-ups. HARTMAN watches
JOKER finishing many, many of them.
HARTMAN
One for the Corps! Get up there! Pull!
JOKER finally drops to the ground.
HARTMAN
I guess the Corps don't get theirs. Get up
there, Pyle!
PYLE tries to do a pull-up but can't get to the top of
the bar.
HARTMAN
Pull! Pull, Pyle, pull! One pull-up, Pyle! Come
on, pull! You gotta be shitting me, Pyle! Get
your ass up there! Do you mean to tell me
that you cannot do one single pull-up?
PYLE, exhausted from his efforts, drops to the
ground.
HARTMAN
You are a worthless piece of shit, Pyle!! Get
out of my face! Get up there, Snowball!
16 EXT. "CONFIDENCE CLIMB"--DAY
PYLE climbs a high obstacle.
HARTMAN
Get up here, fatboy! Quickly! Move it up!
Move it up, Pyle! Move it up! You climb
obstacles like old people fuck. Do you know
that, Private Pyle? Get up here! You're too
slow! Move it, move it! Private Pyle, what-
ever you do, don't fall down! That would
break my fucking heart! Quickly!
PYLE freezes at the top.
HARTMAN
Up and over! Up and over! Well, what in the
fuck are you waiting for, Private Pyle? Get
up and over! Move it, move it, move it! Are
you quitting on me? Well, are you! Then quit
you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of
shit! Get the fuck off my obstacle! Get the
fuck down off of my obstacle! Now!
PYLE climbs back down his side of the obstacle.
HARTMAN
Move it! I'm gonna rip your balls off so you
cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I
will motivate you, Private Pyle, if it short-
dicks every cannibal on the Congo!
17 EXT. ROAD--DAY
The platoon is irregularly strung out on a road
nearing the end of a rapid, forced march.
PYLE is at the end of the line ready to drop.
Supported by JOKER, PYLE Staggers along as
HARTMAN bellows at him.
HARTMAN
Pick'em up and set'em down, Pyle!
Quickly! Move it up! Were you born a fat
slimy scumbag, you piece of shit, Private
Pyle? Or did you have to work on it? Move
it up! Quickly! Hustle up! The fucking war
will be over by the time we get out there,
won't it, Private Pyle?
HARTMAN gives PYLE a shove.
HARTMAN
Move it!
PYLE gasps for breath.
HARTMAN
Are you going to fucking die, Pyle? Are you
going to die on me!! Do it now! Move it up!
Hustle it up! Quickly, quickly, quickly! Do
you feel dizzy? Do you feel faint? Jesus H.
Christ, I think you've got a hard-on!
18 EXT. MUD OBSTACLE--DAY
The platoon tries to run, through the mud. PYLE
half carried by JOKER and COWBOY falls taking
JOKER down with him.
HARTMAN
Quickly ladies! Assholes and elbows! Move it
out! Get up there! Move it! Move it, move it,
move it!
19 INT. BARRACKS--PRE-DAWN
HARTMAN and two Junior Drill Instructors stride
into the Squad Bay. The lights go on. HARTMAN
bangs loudly on an empty metal garbage can which
he carries into the room.
HARTMAN
Reveille! Reveille! Reveille! Drop your cocks
and grab your socks! Today is Sunday! Divine
worship at zero-eight-hundred! Get your
bunks made and get your uniforms on. Police
call will commence in two minutes!
HARTMAN stops in front of JOKER's bunk.
HARTMAN
Private Cowboy! Private Joker!
COWBOY
Sir, yes, sir!
JOKER
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
As soon as you finish your bunks, I want you
two turds to clean the head.
JOKER & COWBOY
(in unison)
Sir, aye-aye, sir!
HARTMAN
I want that head so sanitary and squared
away that the Virgin Mary herself would be
proud to go in there and take a dump!
JOKER & COWBOY
(in unison)
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Private Joker, do you believe in the Virgin
Mary?
JOKER
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN throws down the garbage can with a loud
bang.
HARTMAN
Private Joker, I don't believe I heard you
correctly!
JOKER
Sir, the private said "No, sir," sir!
HARTMAN
Why, you little maggot! You make me want to
vomit!
HARTMAN slaps JOKER, hard, across the cheek.
HARTMAN
You goddam communist heathen, you had best
sound off that you love the Virgin Mary . . . or
I'm gonna stomp your guts out! Now you do
love the Virgin Mary, don't you?!
JOKER
Sir, negative, sir!!
HARTMAN
Private Joker, are you trying to offend me?!
JOKER
Sir, negative, sir!!! Sir, the private believes
that any answer he gives will be wrong! And
the Senior Drill Instructor will beat him
harder if he reverses himself, sir!
HARTMAN
Who's your squad leader, scumbag?
JOKER
Sir, the private's squad leader is Private
Snowball, sir!!!
HARTMAN
Private Snowball!
SNOWBALL double-times up to HARTMAN.
SNOWBALL
Sir, Private Snowball reporting as ordered,
sir!
HARTMAN
Private Snowball, you're fired! Private Joker is
promoted to squad leader!
SNOWBALL
Sir, aye-aye, sir!
HARTMAN
Private Pyle!
PYLE
Private Pyle reporting as ordered, sir!
HARTMAN
Private Pyle, from now on Private Joker is
your new squad leader, and you will bunk
with him! He'll teach you everything. He'll
teach you how to pee.
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Private Joker is silly and he's ignorant, but
he's got guts, and guts is enough. Now, you
ladies carry on.
JOKER, COWBOY & PYLE
(in unison)
Sir, aye-aye, sir!
20 EXT. TRAINING FIELD--DAY
JOKER patiently explains the disassembly of an
M-14 rifle to PYLE.
JOKER
The bolt. The bolt goes in the receiver.
Operating rod handle. Operating rod guide.
21 INT. BARRACKS--NIGHT
JOKER and PYLE sitting on their footlockers. JOKER
instructs PYLE in the correct method of lacing his
combat boots.
JOKER
And the left one ... over the right. Right one
over the left. Left one over the right. Right
one over the left.
22 EXT. CONFIDENCE CLIMB--DAY
On. top of the confidence climb, JOKER gently talks
PYLE over the top.
JOKER
Just throw your other leg over ... that'a boy.
That's it. Now just pull the next one over .. .
and you're home free. Ready? Just throw it
over. That'a boy. Just set it down. All right?
PYLE breathes heavily. He is scared but he manages
to get over.
JOKER
There you go. Congratulations, Leonard. You
did it.
23 INT. BARRACKS--NIGHT
JOKER instructs PYLE in the correct way of making
his bed.
JOKER
You fold the blanket and the sheet back
together. Make a four-inch fold. Okay?
Got it? You do it.
PYLE looks down. uncertainly at the bed.
24 EXT. PARADE DECK--DAY
JOKER works with PYLE on the Manual of Arms.
25 EXT. OBSTACLE COURSE--DAY
COWBOY, JOKER and PYLE run up a ramp, grab the
ropes and swing across a ditch. PYLE makes it
without trouble.
26 EXT. PARADE DECK--DAY
HARTMAN is drilling the squad, calling the cadence
and watching PYLE who makes no mistakes.
DISSOLVE TO:
27 EXT. RIFLE RANGE--DAY
Targets are raised and lowered, red markers
indicating hits. HARTMAN addresses the recruits.
HARTMAN
The deadliest weapon in the world is a ma-
rine and his rifle. It is your killer instinct
which must be harnessed if you expect to sur-
vive in combat. Your rifle is only a tool. It is
a hard heart that kills. If your killer instincts
are not clean and strong you will hesitate at
the moment of truth. You will not kill. You
will become dead marines. And then you will
be in a world of shit. Because marines are not
allowed to die without permission! Do you
maggots understand?
RECRUITS
Sir, yes, sir!
28 EXT. PARRIS ISLAND STREET--DAY
The recruits are double-timing to HARTMAN's
cadences.
HARTMAN
(chanting in cadence)
I love working for Uncle Sam!
RECRUITS
(chanting in cadence)
I love working for Uncle Sam!
HARTMAN
Lets me know just who I am!
RECRUITS
Lets me know just who I am!
HARTMAN
One, two, three, four! United States Marine
Corps!
RECRUITS
One, two, three, four! United States Marine
Corps!
HARTMAN
One, two, three, four! I love the Marine Corps!
RECRUITS
One, two, three, four! I love the Marine Corps.
HARTMAN
My Corps!
RECRUITS
My Corps!
HARTMAN
Your Corps!
RECRUITS
Your Corps!
HARTMAN
Our Corps!
RECRUITS
Our Corps!
HARTMAN
Marine Corps!
RECRUITS
Marine Corps!
HARTMAN
I don't know, but I've been told.
RECRUITS
I don't know, but I've been told.
HARTMAN
Eskimo pussy is mighty cold!
RECRUITS
Eskimo pussy is mighty cold!
HARTMAN
Mmm, good!
RECRUITS
Mmm, good!
HARTMAN
Feels good!
RECRUITS
Feels good!
HARTMAN
Is good!
RECRUITS
Is good!
HARTMAN
Real good!
RECRUITS
Real good!
HARTMAN
Tastes good!
RECRUITS
Tastes good!
HARTMAN
Mighty good!
RECRUITS
Mighty good!
HARTMAN
Good for you!
RECRUITS
Good for you!
HARTMAN
Good for me!
RECRUITS
Good for me!
29 INT. BARRACKS--NIGHT
The recruits in their skivvies stand at attention in
two facing rows on top of their footlockers, arms
outstretched, hands held rigidly in front of them,
palms down, for inspection.
HARTMAN moves along the row of men. He smacks
a recruit's hand.
HARTMAN
Trim 'em.
HARTMAN points at the feet of another recruit.
HARTMAN
Toejam!
To another recruit.
HARTMAN
Pop that blister!
HARTMAN stops in front of PYLE and notices his foot-
locker is unlocked. He picks up the lock and holds it
up to PYLE.
HARTMAN
Jesus H. Christ! Private Pyle, why is your
footlocker unlocked?
PYLE
Sir, I don't know, sir!
HARTMAN
Private Pyle, if there is one thing in this
world that I hate, it is an unlocked footlocker!
You know that, don't you?
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
If it wasn't for dickheads like you, there
wouldn't be any thievery in this world, would
there?
PYLE
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
Get down!
PYLE steps down, from the footlocker. HARTMAN flips
open the lid with a bang and begins rummaging
through the box.
HARTMAN
Well, now .. . let's just see if there's anything
missing!
HARTMAN freezes. He reaches down and slowly picks
up a jelly doughnut, holding it in disgust at arm's
length with his fingertips.
HARTMAN
Holy Jesus! What is that? What is that,
Private Pyle?!
PYLE
Sir, a jelly doughnut, sir!
HARTMAN
A jelly doughnut?!
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
How did it get here?
PYLE
Sir, I took it from the mess hall, sir!
HARTMAN
Is chow allowed in the barracks, Private Pyle?
PYLE
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
Are you allowed to eat jelly doughnuts,
Private Pyle?
PYLE
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
And why not, Private Pyle?
PYLE
Sir, because I'm too heavy, sir!
HARTMAN
Because you are a disgusting fatbody, Private
Pyle!
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Then why did you hide a jelly doughnut in
your footlocker, Private Pyle?
PYLE
Sir, because I was hungry, sir!
HARTMAN
Because you were hungry?
Holding out the jelly doughnut, HARTMAN walks
down the row of recruits still standing with their
arms outstretched.
HARTMAN
Private Pyle has dishonored himself and
dishonored the platoon! I have tried to help
him, but I have failed! I have failed because
you have not helped me! You people have not
given Private Pyle the proper motivation!
So, from now on, whenever Private Pyle
fucks up, I will not punish him, I will punish
all of you! And the way I see it, ladies, you
owe me for one jelly doughnut! Now, get on
your faces!
HARTMAN
(to PYLE)
Open your mouth!
He shoves the jelly doughnut into PYLE's mouth.
HARTMAN
They're paying for it, you eat it!
HARTMAN turns to the recruits.
HARTMAN
Ready . . . exercise!
The platoon does push-ups.
RECRUITS
(chanting in cadence)
One, two, three, four!
I love the Marine Corps!
One, two, three, four!
I love the Marine Corps!
One, two, three, four!
I love the Marine Corps!
One, two, three, four . . .
While the platoon does push-ups, PYLE swallows
hard to get down. bites of the doughnut.
DISSOLVE TO:
30 INT. BARRACKS--DAWN
JOKER checks PYLE's Uniform.
JOKER
(quietly)
You really look like shit today, Leonard.
PYLE
Joker? Everybody hates me now. Even you.
JOKER
Nobody hates you, Leonard. You just keep
making mistakes, getting everybody in
trouble.
PYLE
I can't do anything right. I need help.
JOKER
I'm trying to help you, Leonard. I'm really
trying.
PYLE grins, trustingly.
JOKER
Tuck your shirt in.
DISSOLVE TO:
31 EXT. TRAINING FIELD--DAY
The platoon does squat thrusts as PYLE sits, his
cap on backwards, sucking his thumb. HARTMAN
watches.
RECRUITS
(counting in unison)
One, turo, three . . . nineteen!
One, two, three . . . twenty!
One, two, three . . . twenty-one!
One, two, three . . . twenty-two!
One, two, three . . . twenty-three!
One, two, three . . . twenty-four!
One, two, three . . . twenty-five!
One, two, three . . . twnty-six!
One, two, three . . . twenty-seven!
One, two, three . . . twenty-eight!
One, two, three . . . twenty-nine!
One, two, three . . . thirty!
FADE TO BLACK
32 INT. BARRACKS--NIGHT
We see a towel on a bed. A bar of soap is tossed
on the towel. The towel is folded over the soap
forming a weapon.
A hand picks up the towel-weapon and bangs it
on the mattress making a dull thud.
PYLE is asleep in his bunk.
The platoon silently slip out of their beds and
form up around PYLE.
A blanket is thrown over PYLE, each corner held
down by a recruit, pinning PYLE to the bed.
COWBOY shoves a gag in PYLE's mouth.
PYLE is helpless.
The platoon files past beating PYLE with the bars
of soap wrapped in towels.
PYLE's screams are muffled by the gag.
JOKER is the last one. He stands back from the bed.
COWBOY
(to JOKER)
Do it! Do it!
JOKER hesitates, then moves forward and hits
PYLE hard several times.
Then JOKER jumps into his bunk.
The recruits yank the restraining blanket of PYLE
and run back to their bunks.
COWBOY
(removing gag)
Remember, it's just a bad dream, fatboy.
PYLE sobs loudly and sits up, holding himself in
pain.
Lying in, his bunk, JOKER covers his ears.
FADE IN:
33 EXT. PARADE DECK--DAY
The platoon is lined up.
HARTMAN
Port... hut! Left shoulder ... hut! Right
shoulder ... hut! Port ... hut! Do we love
our beloved Corps, ladies?
RECRUITS
(shouting in unison)
Semper fi, do or die! Gung ho, gung ho,
gung ho!
PYLE says nothing, just stares straight ahead.
HARTMAN
What makes the grass grow?
RECRUITS
Blood, blood, blood!
PYLE stares. Does not join in the shouting.
HARTMAN
What do we do for a living, ladies?
RECRUlTS
Kill, kill, kill!
PYLE remains silent.
HARTMAN
I can't hear you!
RECRUITS
Kill, kill, kill!
HARTMAN
Bullshit! I still can't hear you!
RECRUITS
Kill, kill, kill!
PYLE continues to stare blartkly ahead.
34 EXT. BLEACHERS--DAY
The platoon sits on bleachers facing HARTMAN.
HARTMAN
Do any of you people know who Charles
Whitman was?
No response.
HARTMAN
None of you dumbasses knows?
COWBOY raises his hand.
HARTMAN
Private Cowboy?
COWBOY
Sir, he was that guy who shot all those people
from that tower in Austin, Texas, sir!
HARTMAN
That's affirmative. Charles Whitman killed
twenty people from a twenty-eight-storey
observation tower at the University of Texas
from distances up to four hundred yards.
HARTMAN looks around.
HARTMAN
Anybody know who Lee Harvey Oswald was?
Almost everybody raises his hand.
HARTMAN
Private Snowball?
SNOWBALL
Sir, he shot Kennedy, sir!
HARTMAN
That's right, and do you know how far away
he was?
SNOWBALL
Sir, it was pretty far! From that book
suppository building, sir!
The recruits laugh at "suppository. "
HARTMAN
All right, knock it off! Two hundred and fifty
feet! He was two hundred and fifty feet away
and shooting at a moving target. Oswald got
off three rounds with an old Italian bolt action
rifle in only six seconds and scored two hits,
including a head shot! Do any of you people
know where these individuals learned to
shoot?
JOKER raises his hand.
HARTMAN
Private Joker?
JOKER
Sir, in the Marines, sir!
HARTMAN
In the Marines! Outstanding! Those
individuals showed what one motivated
marine and his rifle can do! And before you
ladies leave my island, you will be able to
do the same thing!
Camera slowly moves in on PYLE staring at
HARTMAN.
35 INT. BARRACKS--DAY
Recruits standing at attention in two facing rows.
HARTMAN walks between the rows, leading them
in song.
HARTMAN & RECRUITS
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday, dear Jesus,
Happy Birthday to you!
HARTMAN
Today ... is Christmas! There will be a
magic show at zero-nine-thirty! Chaplain
Charlie will tell you about how the free
world will conquer Communism with the
aid of God and a few marines!
God has a hard-on for marines because we
kill everything we see! He plays His games,
we play ours! To show our appreciation for
so much power, we keep heaven packed
with fresh souls! God was here before the
Marine Corps! So you can give your heart
to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the Corps!
Do you ladies understand?
RECRUITS
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
I can't hear you!
RECRUITS
Sir, yes, sir!
36 INT. BARRACKS--NIGHT
The recruits are seated on footlockers, cleaning their
rifles. HARTMAN prowls among them, watching.
PYLE talizs softly to his rifle.
JOKER looks at him uneasily.
PYLE
(to his rifte)
It's been swabbed.... and wiped. Everything
is clean. Beautiful. So that it slides perfectly.
Nice. Everything cleaned. Oiled. So that your
action is beautiful. Smooth, Charlene.
DISSOLVE TO:
37 INT. BARRACKS--NIGHT
A few recruits, including PYLE, are mopping the
floor.
38 INT. LATRINE--NIGHT
In the latrine COWBOY and JOKER are also mopping
the floor.
JOKER stops, looks around to be sure they are alone,
and turns to COWBOY.
JOKER
Leonard talks to his rifle.
COWBOY keeps mopping.
COWBOY
Yeah!
JOKER
I don't think Leonard can hack it anymore. I
think Leonard's a Section Eight.
Pause.
COWBOY
It don't surprise me.
They both go back to mopping.
JOKER speaks again after some silence.
JOKER
I want to slip my tubesteak into your sister.
What'll you take in trade?
COWBOY
What have you got?
39 EXT. FIRING RANGE--DAY
HARTMAN kneels behind PYLE, looking on with
approval.
PYLE finishes a good group and reloads his M-14.
HARTMAN
Outstanding, Private Pyle! I think we've
finally found something that you do well!
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
40 EXT. PARADE DECK--DAY
HARTMAN inspects the recruits.
HARTMAN
(to JOKER)
What's your sixth General Order?
JOKER
Sir, the private's sixth general order is to
receive and obey and to pass on to the sentry
who relieves me ... all orders ... Sir, the
private's sixth ... Sir, the private has been
instructed but he does not know, sir!
HARTMAN
You slimy scumbag, get on your face and give
me twenty-five!
JOKER
Sir, aye-aye, sir!
HARTMAN walks to PYLE.
HARTMAN
How many counts in that movement you've
just executed?
PYLE
Sir, four counts, sir!
HARTMAN
What's the idea of looking down in the
chamber?
PYLE
Sir, that is the guarantee that the private is
not giving the inspecting officer a loaded
weapon, sir!
HARTMAN
What's your fifth general order?
PYLE
Sir, the private's fifth general order is to quit
my post only when properly relieved, sir!
HARTMAN
What's this weapon's name, Private Pyle?
PYLE
Sir, the private's weapon's name is Charlene,
HARTMAN
Private Pyle, you are definitely born again
hard! Hell, I may even allow you to serve as a
rifleman in my beloved Corps.
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
41 EXT. PARRIS ISLAND STREET--DAY
HARTMAN double-timing the recruits, calling
cadence.
HARTMAN
I don't want no teenage queen.
RECRUITS
I don't want no teenage queen.
HARTMAN
I just want my M-14.
RECRUITS
I just want my M-14.
HARTMAN
If I die in the combat zone.
RECRUITS
If I die in the combat zone.
HARTMAN
Box me up and ship me home.
RECRUITS
Box me up and ship me home.
HARTMAN
Pin my medals upon my chest.
RECRUITS
Pin my medals upon my chest.
HARTMAN
Tell my mom I've done my best.
RECRUITS
Tell my mom I've done my best.
DISSOLVE TO:
42 EXT. FOREST--DAY
Woods. For the first time the platoon marches in
full combat gear carrying rifles.
JOKER
(narration)
Graduation is only a few days away and the
recruits of platoon thirty-ninety-two are salty.
They are ready to eat their own guts and ask
for seconds.
43 EXT. FIELD--DAY
In full combat gear and with fixed bayonets, the
recruits charge through green smoke.
JOKER
(narration)
The drill instructors are proud to see that we
are growing beyond their control. The Marine
Corps does not want robots. The Marine
Corps wants killers. The Marine Corps wants
to build indestructible men, men without fear.
44 INT. BARRACKS--DAY
HARTMAN talks to the recruits formed up in a
school-circle.
HARTMAN
Today you people are no longer maggots.
Today you are marines. You're part of a
brotherhood.
45 EXT. PARADE GROUND--DAY
Graduation. A marching band. Spectators.
Hundreds of marines parade by in dress uniform.
HARTMAN
(voice over)
From now on, until the day you die, wherever
you are, every marine is your brother. Most of
you will go to Vietnam. Some of you will not
come back. But always remember this:
marines die, that's what we're here for! But
the Marine Corps lives forever. And that
means you live forever!
DISSOLVE TO:
46 INT. BARRACKS--DAY
HARTMAN talks to the platoon, again in a school-
circle.
HARTMAN
Pickett!
PICKETT
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
O-three-hundred, Infantry. Toejam!
TOEJAM
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
O-three-hundred, Infantry. Adams!
ADAMS
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Eighteen-hundred, Engineers. You go out
and find mines. Cowboy!
COWBOY
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
O-three-hundred, Infantry! Taylor!
TAYLOR
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
O-three-hundred, Infantry. Joker!
JOKER
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Forty-two-twelve, Basic Military Journalism.
You gotta be shitting me, Joker! You think
you're Mickey Spillane? Do you think you're
some kind of fucking writer?
JOKER
Sir, I wrote for my high school newspaper, sir!
HARTMAN
Jesus H. Christ, you're not a writer, you're
a killer!
JOKER
A killer, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Gomer Pyle!
PYLE doesn't answer.
HARTMAN
Gomer Pyle!
We see PYLE in close-up, now completely with-
drawn, barely able to answer HARTMAN.
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
You forget your fucking name? O-three-
hundred, Infantry. You made it. Perkins!
PERKINS
Sir, yes, sir!
47 INT. BARRACKS--NIGHT
The platoon sleeps. JOKER walks slowly down the
squad bay with a flashlight.
JOKER
(Itarration)
Our last night on the island. I draw fire
watch.
JOKER hears a muffled sound. He isn't sure where
it comes from. He slowly enters the latrine.
48 INT. LATRINE--NIGHT
Running his flashlight across the room JOKER Sees
PYLE sitting on a toilet, loading a magazine for
his M-14 rifle.
PYLE looks up at JOKER and smiles. It is a
frightening smile.
PYLE
(strange voice)
Hi, Joker.
JOKER stares at PYLE for a few seconds.
PYLE has suite clearly snapped.
JOKER
Are those ... live rounds?
PYLE
Seven-six-two millimeter, full metal jacket.
PYLE smiles grotesquely.
JOKER
Leonard .. . if Hartman comes in here and
catches us, we'll both be in a world of shit.
PYLE
I am .. . in a world . . . of shit!
PYLE gets to his feet, snaps his rifle to port arms,
and starts executing the Manual ofArms.
PYLE
(shouting)
Left shoulder ... hut! Right shoulder ...
hut! Lock and load! Order ... hut!
PYLE picks up the loaded magazine, inserts it into
the rifle and smartly brings the rifle down to the
order arms position.
PYLE
(shouting)
This is my rifle! There are many like it, but
this one is mine.
49 INT. BARRACKS HALLWAY--NIGHT
By now the platoon is awake.
HARTMAN bursts from his room, wearing his
skivvies and D.I. hat.
PYLE
(offscreen)
My rifle is my best friend! It is my life!
HARTMAN
Get back in your bunks!
PYLE
(o.s.)
I must master it as I must master my life!
Without me ...
50 INT. LATRINES--NIGHT
HARTMAN Storms into the latrine.
HARTMAN
What is this Mickey Mouse shit? What in the
name of Jesus H. Christ are you animals
doing in my head?
(to JOKER)
Why is Private Pyle out of his bunk after
lights out?! Why is Private Pyle holding that
weapon? Why aren't you stomping Private
Pyle's guts out?
JOKER
Sir, it is the private's duty to inform the
Senior Drill Instructor that Private Pyie has a
full magazine and has locked and loaded, sir!
HARTMAN and PYLE look at each other. PYLE Smiles
from the depths of his own hell.
HARTMAN focuses all of his considerable powers of
intimidation, into his best John- Wayne-on-Suribachi
voice.
HARTMAN
Now you listen to me, Private Pyle, and,you
listen good. I want that weapon, and I want it
now! You will place that rifle on the deck at
your feet and step back away from it.
With a twisted smile on his face pyLE POintS his
rifle at HARTMAN.
HARTMAN look suddenly calm. His eyes, his manner
are those of a wanderer who has found his home.
HARTMAN
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?!!
Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you enough
attention when you were a child?!!!
BANG!
The round hits HARTMAN in the chest.
He falls back dead.
JOKER and PYLE stand looking at the body.
Then PYLE looks at JoKER and slowly raises his rifle.
JOKER
(trembling)
Easy, Leonard. Go easy, man.
PYLE breathes heavily, and Keeps the rifle aimed at
JOKER.
JOKER is scared shitless.
PYLE looks at JOKER for several seconds and slowly
lowers the rifle. Then he stumbles back a few steps
and sits down, heavily on the toilet.
PYLE turns away from JOKER and stares into space,
a strangely peaceful look transforming his face.
He places the muzzle of the rifle in his mouth.
JOKER
No!!!
BANG!
PYLE pulls the trigger and blows the back of his
head over the white tiled wall behind him.
SCENE FADES TO BLACK
FADE IN:
51 EXT. DA NANG STREET, VIETNAM--DAY
Motorcycles, cars, Vietnamese civilians. Swinging
her hips ruith exaggerated sexiness, an attractive
HOOKER in a mini-skirt walks toward a cafe' table
on the pavement ulhere JOKER and RAFTERMAN are
seated.
Music: Nancy Sinatra's "These Boots Are Made
for Walking."
The girl stops at JOKER's table.
HOOKER
Hey, baby, you got girlfriend Vietnam?
JOKER
Not just this minute.
HOOKER
Well, baby, me so horny. Me so horny. Me
love you long time. You party?
JOKER
Yeah, we might party. How much?
HOOKER
Fifteen dolla.
JOKER
Fifteen dollars for both of us?
HOOKER
No. Each you fifteen dolla. Me love you long
time. Me so horny.
JOKER
Fifteen dollar too boo-coo. Five dollars each.
HOOKER
Me suckee-suckee. Me love you too much.
JOKER
Five dollars is all my mom allows me to
spend.
HOOKER
Okay! Ten dolla each.
JOKER
What do we get for ten dollars?
HOOKER
Everything you want.
JOKER
Everything?
HOOKER
Everything.
JOKER
Well, old buddy, feel like spending some of
your hard-earned money?
RAFTERMAN
Just a minute.
RAFTERMAN raises his Nikon and starts
photographing JOKER and the HOOKER.
The girl strikes quick poses for the camera and
coughs.
JOKER puts his arm around her.
JOKER
You know, half these gook whores are serving
officers in the Viet Cong.
The girl coughs again.
JOKER
The other half have got T.B. Make sure you
only fuck the ones that cough.
A young vietnamese boy walks up behind
RAFTERMAN and grabs the Nikon camera from his
hands.
The boy runs to an accomplice sitting on a waiting
motorbike and tosses the camera to him. Then in
mockery the BOY excecutes a few, Bruce Lee moves
before jumping on the bike and zooming off:
JOKER laughs.
DISSOLVE TO
52 EXT. U.S. MARINE BASE--DAY
The main gates of the base. High-security fencing.
Tanks, jeeps, trucks. A military helicopter lands.
DISSOLVE TO:
53 EXT. DA NANG BASE--DAY
JOKER and RAFTERMAN walk down the base street
past rows of hootches and other buildings. In the
background some marines play basketball.
JOKER
That little sucker really had some moves on
him, didn't he?
RAFTERMAN
Yeah ... You know what really pisses me off
about these people?
JOKER
What?
RAFTERMAN
We're supposed to be helping them and they
shit all over us every chance they get ... I
just can't feature that.
JOKER
Don't take it too hard, Rafterman. It's just
business.
RAFTERMAN
I hate Da Nang, Joker. I want to go out into
the field. I've been in this country almost
three months, and all I do is take handshake
shots at awards ceremonies.
JOKER
You get wasted your first day in the field and
it'd be my fault.
RAFTERMAN
A high school girl could do my job. I want to
get out into the shit. I want to get some
trigger time.
JOKER
If you get killed, your mom will find me after
I rotate back to the world and she'll beat the
shit out of me. That's a negative, Rafterman.
54 INT. SEA-TIGER HUT--DAY
A Quonset hut. An editorial meeting of The Sea
Tiger, the official marine newspaper, is in progress
presided over by LIEUTENANT LOCKHART.
JOKER, RAFTERMAN, and six other marine
correspondens are seated around a large messy
table covered with cameras, photographs,
newspapers artd magazines.
LOCKHART
Okay, guys, let's keep it short and sweet
today. Anybody got anything new?
JOKER
There's a rumor going around that the Tet
ceasefire is gonna be cancelled.
LOCKHART
Rear-echelon paranoia.
JOKER
A bro in Intelligence says Charlie might try to
pull off something big during the Tet holiday.
LOCKHART
They say the same thing every year.
JOKER
There's a lot of talk about it, sir.
LOCKHART
I wouldn't lose any sleep over it. The Tet
holiday's like the Fourth of July, Christmas
and New Year all rolled into one. Every
zipperhead in Nam, North and South, will be
banging gongs, barking at the moon and
visiting his dead relatives.
LOCKHART
All right ...Ann-Margret and entourage are
due here next week. I want someone to be
there on the airfield and stick with her for a
couple of days. Uh, Rafterman, you take it.
RAFTERMAN
Aye-aye, sir.
LOCKHART
Get me some good low-angle stuff. Don't make
it too obvious, but I want to see fur and early
morning dew.
RAFTERMAN
Yes, sir.
LOCKHART
(reading)
"Diplomats in Dungarees--Marine engineers
lend a helping hand rebuilding Dong Phuc
villages . . ." Chili, if we move Vietnamese,
they are evacuees. If they come to us to be
evacuated, they are refugees.
CHILI
I'll make a note of it, sir.
LOCKHART
(reading)
"N.V.A. Soldier Deserts After Reading
Pamphlets --A young North Vietnamese Army
regular, who realized his side could not win
the war, deserted from his unit after reading
Open Arms program pamphlets." That's good,
Dave. But why say North Vietnamese Army
regular? Is there an irregular? How about
North Vietnamese Army soldier?
DAVE
I'll fix it up, sir.
LOCKHART
Lawrence Welk Show's gonna go out on TV in
two weeks. Dave, do a hundred words on it.
AFTV'll give you some background stuff.
DAVE
Yes, sir.
LOCKHART
(reading)
"Not While We're Eating--N.V.A. learn
marines on a search and destroy mission don't
like to be interrupted while eating chow."
Search and destroy. Uh, we have a new
directive from M.A.F. on this. In the future, in
place of"search and destroy," substitute the
phrase "sweep and clear." Got it?
JOKER
Got it. Very catchy.
LOCKHART
And, Joker ... where's the weenie?
JOKER
Sir!
LOCKHART
The Kill, JOKER. The kill. I mean, all that fire,
the grunts must've hit something.
JOKER
Didn't see 'em.
LOCKHART
Joker, I've told you, we run two basic stories
here. Grunts who give half their pay to buy
gooks toothbrushes and deodorants--Winning
of Hearts and Minds--okay? And combat
action that results in a kill--Winning the War.
Now you must have seen blood trails ... drag
marks?
JOKER
It was raining, sir.
LOCKHART
Well, that's why God passed the law of
probability. Now rewrite it and give it a happy
ending--say, uh, one kill. Make it a sapper or
an officer. Which?
JOKER
Whichever you say.
LOCKHART
Grunts like reading about dead officers.
JOKER
Okay, an officer. How about a general?
A few laughs.
LOCKHART
Joker, maybe you'd like our guys to read the
paper and feel bad. I mean, in case you didn't
know it, this is not a particularly popular war.
Now, it is our job to report the news that
these why-are-we-here civilian newsmen
ignore.
JOKER
Sir, maybe you should go out on some ops
yourself. I'm sure you could find a lot more
blood trails and drag marks.
Some laughs.
LOCKHART
JOKER, I've had my ass in the grass. Can't say
I liked it much. Lots of bugs and too
dangerous. As it happens, my present duties
keep me where I belong. In the rear with the
gear.
DISSOLVE TO:
55 EXT. DA NANG BASE--DUSK
Rows of hootches. In the distance, fireworks.
JOKER
(voiceover)
Tet. The Year of the Monkey. Vietnamese
Lunar New Year's Eve. Down in Dogpatch, the
gooks are shooting off fireworks to celebrate.
DISSOLVE TO:
56 INT. HOOTCH--NIGHT
JOKER, RAFTERMAN, PAYBACK and the others are in
their bunks, reading, lazing, smoking grass. JOKER
is writing in a notebook.
JOKER
(yawns and stretches)
I am fucking bored to death, man. I gotta get
back in the shit. I ain't heard a shot fired in
anger in weeks.
PAYBACK
Joker's so tough he'd eat the boogers out of a
dead man's nose ... then ask for seconds.
Some laughs.
JOKER
(John Wayne voice)
Listen up, pilgrim. A day without blood is like
a day without sunshine.
PAYBACK
Shi-i--i-t! Joker thinks the bad bush is
between old mama-san's legs.
Some laughs.
PAYBACK
He's never been in the shit. It's hard to talk
about it, man. It's like on Hastings.
CHILI
Aw, you weren't on Operation Hastings,
Payback. You weren't even in country.
PAYBACK
Eat shit and die, you fucking Spanish-
American! You fucking poge! I was there,
man. I was in the shit with the grunts.
JOKER
(John Wayne voice)
Don't listen to any of Payback's bullshit,
Rafterman. Sometimes he thinks he's John
Wayne.
PAYBACK
You listen to Joker, new guy. He knows ti ti.
Very little. You know he's never been in the
shit,'cause he ain't got the stare.
RAFTERMAN
The stare?
PAYBACK
The thousand-yard stare. A marine gets it
after he's been in the shit for too long. It's like
... it's like you've really seen beyond. I got it.
All field marines got it. And you'll have it too.
RAFTERMAN
I will?
STORK
Hey, Payback. How do you stop five black
dudes from raping a white chick?
PAYBACK
Fuck you, Stork.
STORK
Throw'em a basketball.
Laughter.
They are startled by the dull boom of mortar shells
outside.
DAVE
Incoming.
PAYBACK
Oh, shit!
CHILI
They're outgoing.
DAVE
That ain't outgoing!
Some closer explosions, much louder.
CHILI
That ain't outgoing!
DAVE
Now what I just say?
The men grab their helmets, flak jackets and
weapons and run outside.
RAFTERMAN
Joker, is this for real?
JOKER
Yes, it is, Rafterman.
57 EXT. DA NANG BASE--NIGHT
Men running everywhere. Sirens. A mortar round
lands in the distance, then others nearer. Fires
are breaking out.
58 INT. BUNKER--NIGHT
JOKER loads an M-60 machine gun, then hunches
down watching the main gate of the perimeter.
JOKER
Hey, I hope they're just fucking with us. I
ain't ready for this shit.
STORK
Amen.
The sound ofa truck approaching.
The marines get set.
The truch smashes though the gates.
The marines open fire.
The truck is hit by a hail of automatic fire; it
explodes and starts burning.
N.V.A. troops follow the truck through the gate.
The attackers are cut down by a withering fire
from the marines.
The attack peters out.
People yell, "Cease fire."
The firing trails off:
DISSOLVE TO:
59 EXT. DA NANG BASE--DAWN
JOKER and RAFTERMAN walk through the wreckage
of the night's battle.
Prisoners are led past.
LOCKHART
(voice over)
The enemy has very deceitfully taken
advantage of the Tet ceasefire to launch an
offensive all over the country. So far, we've
had it pretty easy here. But we seem to be
the exception.
60 INT. SEA-TIGER OFFICE--DAWN
Dirty and still in. their combat gear, JOKER,
RAFTERMAN, PAYBACK and the other correspondents
are slumped in, their chairs around the table.
LOCKHART
(walking)
Charlie has hit every major military target
in Vietnam, and hit 'em hard. In Saigon, the
United States Embassy has been overrun by
suicide squads. Khe Sahn is standing by to
be overrun. We also have reports that a divi-
sion of N.V.A. has occupied all of the city of
Hue south of the Perfume River. In strate-
gic terms, Charlie's cut the country in
half... the civilian press are about to wet
their pants and we've heard even Cronkite's
going to say the war is now unwinnable.
In other words, it's a huge shit sandwich,
and we're all gonna have to take a bite.
Long, serious pause.
JOKER
Sir ... does this mean that Ann-Margret's not
coming?
Laughter.
LOCKHART
(pissed off)
Joker.... I want you to get straight up to Phu
Bai. Captain January will need all his people.
JOKER
Yes, sir.
LOCKHART
And Joker, you will take off that damn button.
How's it gonna look if you get killed wearing
a peace symbol?
RAFTERMAN
Sir? Permission to go with Joker?
LOCKHART
Permission granted.
RAFTERMAN
Thank you, sir.
JOKER
Sir, permission not to take Rafterman with
me?
LOCKHART
You still here? Vanish, Joker, most ricky-tick,
and take Rafterman with you. You're
responsible for him.
61 EXT. HELICOPTER SHOTS--DAWN
A military helicopter flies past a huge sun.
62 INT. AERIAL HELICOPTER--DUSK
JOKER Sits looking out the door.
RAFTERMAN is frightened and airsick.
The DOORGUNNER laughs and yells as he fires his
M-60 machine gun.
We see Vietnamese below running and falling.
DOORGUNNER
Get some ... get some ... get some ... get
some ... yeah ... yeah ... get some ... get
some.
After a while the DOORGUNNER stops firing and
grins at JOKER.
DOORGUNNER
(shouting to be heard)
Anyone who runs is a V.C. Anyone who
stands still is a well-disciplined V.C.
(laughs)
You guys oughtta do a story about me
sometime.
JOKER
Why should we do a story about you?
DOORGUNNER
'Cause I'm so fucking good! That ain't no
shit neither. I've done got me one hundred
and fifty-seven dead gooks killed. And fifty
water buffaloes, too. Them're all certified.
RAFTERMAN gags.
JOKER
Any women or children?
DOORGUNNER
Sometimes.
JOKER
How can you shoot women and children?
RAFTERMAN gags.
DOORGUNNER
Easy. You just don't lead 'em so much.
(laughs)
Ain't war hell?
DISSOLVE TO:
63 EXT. LZ HUE--DAY
The helicopter lands.
JOKER and RAFTERMAN jump out, duck down low
and move away through pink smoke blown by the
rotor blades.
Marines run by carrying wounded on stretchers.
JOKER
(to a sergeant)
Top, we want to get in the shit.
MASTER SERGEANT
Down the road, two-five.
JOKER
Two-five. Outstanding! Thanks, Top.
DISSOLVE TO:
64 EXT. ROAD TO HUE--DAY
A road next to a small canal on the outskirts of
Hue.
Tanks, trucks and marines are moving into the city
past a column of refugees heading the other way.
JOKER and RAFTERMAN catch up to a Lieutenant,
salute him and walk alongside.
JOKER
Excuse me! Sir ... we're looking for First
Platoon, Hotel two-five. I got a bro named
Cowboy there.
TOUCHDOWN
You people one-one?
JOKER
No, sir. We're reporters for Stars and Stripes.
TOUCHDOWN
Stars and Stripes.
JOKER
Yes, sir.
TOUCHDOWN
I'm Cowboy's platoon commander. Cowboy's
just down the road in the platoon area.
JOKER
Oh. You mind if we tag along, sir?
TOUCHDOWN
No problem. Welcome aboard. By the way, my
name's Schinoski. Walter J. Schinoski. My
people call me Mister Touchdown. I played a
little ball for Notre Dame.
JOKER
Notre Dame?
TOUCHDOWN
(laughing)
Yeah.
JOKER
All right!
TOUCHDOWN
You here to make Cowboy famous?
JOKER
Ha! Never happen, sir.
TOUCHDOWN
Well, if you people came looking for a story,
this is your lucky day. We got Condition Red
and we're definitely expecting rain.
JOKER
Outstanding, sir. We taking care of business?
TOUCHDOWN
Well, the N.V.A. are dug in deep. Hotel
Company's still working this side of the river.
Street by street and house by house. Charlie's
definitely got his shit together. But we're still
getting some really decent kills here.
JOKER
We heard some scuttlebutt, sir, about the
N.V.A. executing a lot of gook civilians.
TOUCHDOWN
That's affirmative. I saw some bodies about
half a klick this side of Phu Cam Canal.
JOKER
Can you show me where, sir?
TOUCHDOWN
Here's the canal...
65 EXT. MASS GRAVE--DAY
JOKER stands looking down into a large open grave
at a row of white, lime-covered corpses.
Journalists, marines and civilians are grouped
around the grave.
A work detail leans on their shovels, their faces
covered with bandanas against the stench.
JOKER
(voice over)
The dead have been covered with lime. The
dead only know one thing. It is better to be
alive.
JOKER approaches a young lieutenant-- CLEVES.
JOKER
Excuse me. Good morning, Lieutenant.
LT. CLEVES
Good morning.
JOKER
I make it twenty. Is that the official body
count, sir?
LT. CLEVES
(sharply)
What outfit are you men with?
JOKER
Sir, we're reporters from Stars and Stripes.
LT. CLEVES
(warms up)
Oh, I see.
JOKER
I'm Sergeant Joker and this photographer's
Rafterman.
RAFTERMAN starts shooting pictures of the
Lieutenant.
LT. CLEVES
I'm Lieutenant Cleves. I'm from Hartford,
Connecticut.
JOKER
Have you got a body count, sir?
LT. CLEVES
We think it's twenty.
JOKER
Do you know how it happened, sir?
LT. CLEVES
Well, it seems the N.V.A. came in with a list
of gook names. Government officials,
policemen, ARVN officers, schoolteachers.
They went around their houses real polite and
asked them to report the next day for political
re-education. Everybody who turned up got
shot. Some they buried alive.
A marine COLONEL who has been watching JOKER
turns from the group arourzd the grave and strides
up. JOKER snaps to attention.
COLONEL
Marine !
LT. CLEVES
Colonel.
COLONEL
Marine, what is that button on your body
armor?
JOKER
A peace symbol, sir.
COLONEL
Where'd you get it?
JOKER
I don't remember, sir.
COLONEL
What is that you've got written on your
helmet?
JOKER
"Born to Kill," sir.
COLONEL
You write "Born to Kill" on your helmet and
you wear a peace button. What's that
supposed to be, some kind of sick joke?!
JOKER
No, sir.
COLONEL
You'd better get your head and your ass wired
together, or I will take a giant shit on you!
JOKER
Yes, sir.
COLONEL
Now answer my question or you'll be standing
tall before the man.
JOKER
I think I was trying to suggest something
about the duality of man, sir.
COLONEL
The what?
JOKER
The duality of man. The Jungian thing, sir.
COLONEL
Whose side are you on, son?
JOKER
Our side, sir.
COLONEL
Don't you love your country?
JOKER
Yes, sir.
COLONEL
Then how about getting with the program?
Why don't you jump on the team and come
on in for the big win?
JOKER
Yes, sir!
COLONEL
Son, all I've ever asked of my marines is that
they obey my orders as they would the word
of God. We are here to help the Vietnamese,
because inside every gook there is an
American trying to get out. It's a hardball
world, son. We've gotta keep our heads until
this peace craze blows over.
JOKER
Aye-aye, sir.
DISSOLVE TO:
66 EXT. FIELD--DAY
JOKER and RAFTERMAN Walk through a field
toward a pagoda.
67 EXT. PAGODA--DAY
Marines are moving supplies. Some men are rest-
ing on the ground. A helicopter flies overhead.
Music: Sam the Sham's "Wooly Bully."
JOKER
Hey, bro, we're looking for First Platoon,
Hotel two-five.
MARINE
Around the back.
JOKER and RAFTERMAN lualk to the back of the
building.
JOKER
(to another marine)
First Platoon?
MARINE
Yeah, through there.
68 INT. PAGODA COURTYARD--DAY
Through a moon-door opening on to the pagoda
courtyard, We see COWBOY shauing. Other marines
are sprawled around the courtyard walls.
JOKER walks up behind COWBOY.
JOKER
Hey, Lone Ranger.
COWBOY
Holy shit!
JOKER
You old motherfucker.
COWBOY
It's the JOKER.
JOKER
What's happenin'?
They hug each other.
COWBOY
Boy, I hoped I'd never see you again, you
piece of shit!
JOKER
(laughs)
What's happening, man?
COWBOY
Oh, I'm just waiting to get back to the land
of the big PX.
JOKER
Yeah? Well, why go back? Here or there,
samey-same.
COWBOY
Been getting any?
JOKER
Only your sister.
COWBOY
Well, better my sister than my mom, though
my mom's not bad.
COWBOY leads JOKER to the center of the courtyard.
COWBOY
This is my bro Joker from the Island. And
this is...
JOKER
Rafterman.
COWBOY
...Rafterman. They're from Stars and
Stripes. They'll make you famous.
Adlibs of "All right!"
COWBOY
We're the Lusthog Squad. We're life-takers
and heartbreakers.
Adlibs.
COWBOY
We shoot 'em full of holes and fill 'em full of
lead.
Adlibs of "Yeah!" etc.
A big grunt, ANIMAL MOTHER, approaches JOKER.
Trouble.
ANIMAL MOTHER
Are you a photographer?
JOKER
No ... I'm a combat correspondent.
ANIMAL MOTHER
(smiles)
Oh, you seen much combat?
JOKER returns the smile.
JOKER
Well, I've seen a little on TV.
The other marines laugh.
ANIMAL MOTHER
You're a real comedian.
Some more laughs.
JOKER
(pause)
Well, they call me the JOKER.
Adlibs. "Oooooooooo!" and laughter.
ANIMAL MOTHER
(moves closer)
Well, I got a joke for you. I'm gonna tear you
a new asshole.
Adlibs, laughter.
JOKER
(John. Wayne voice)
Well, pilgrim ... only after you ... eat the
peanuts out of my shit!
Loud laughs and shouts.
ANIMAL MOTHER
(moves in close)
You talk the talk. Do you walk the walk?
Anticipatory adlibs of "Ooooh!" and "Whoooa!"
EIGHTBALL, a black grunt, gets up and steps between
JOKER and ANIMAL MOTHER.
EIGHTBALL
(to JOKER)
Now you might not believe it but under fire
Animal Mother is one of the finest human
beings in the world.
Laughter.
EIGHTBALL
All he needs is somebody to throw hand
grenades at him the rest of his life.
Laughter.
EIGHTBALL leads ANIMAL MOTHER away.
COWBOY
(laughing)
Come on, sit down. Come on, new guy.
EIGHTBALL and ANIMAL MOTHER sit down together.
ANIMAL MOTHER
Hey, jungle bunny. Thank God for the sickle
cell, huh?
EIGHTBALL
Yeah, mother.
CRAZY EARL sits on the ground next to a figure
sprawled in a chair.
CRAZY EARL
Hey ... photographer! You want to take a
good picture? Here, man ... take this. This
... is my bro.
CRAZY EARL lifts the hat which has been, covering
the man's face. We see he is a dead N.V.A. soldier.
Laughter.
CRAZY EARL
This is his party. He's the guest of honor.
Today ... is his birthday.
Adlibs: "Happy Birthday, zipperhead!" etc.
CRAZY EARL
I will never forget this day. The day I came
to Hue City and fought one million N.V.A.
gooks. I love the little Commie bastards, man,
I really do. These enemy grunts are as hard
as slant-eyed drill instructors. These are
great days we're living, bros!'We are jolly
green giants, walking the earth with guns.
These people we wasted here today ... are
the finest human beings we will ever know.
After we rotate back to the world, we're gonna
miss not having anyone around that's worth
shooting.
69 EXT. A FIELD, OUTSKIRTS HUE CITY--DAY
COWBOY's platoon, advancing towards the city in a
sweep formation behind tanks.
Cuts of the squad, nervous and alert.
Mortar rounds explode ahead.
LIEUTENANT TOUCHDOWN is hit and goes down.
The platoon dives for cover.
DOC JAY crawls to him and starts mouth-to-mouth.
SERGEANT MURPHY crawls up, has a look, moves to
the back of the tank and picks up a field radio.
The platoon stays flat.
MURPHY
Delta Six Actual, this is Murphy. Over. Delta
Six Actual, this is Murphy. Over.
DELTA SIX
(o.s.)
Delta Six.
MURPHY
Delta Six, we are receiving incoming fire from
the ville. The Lieutenant is down. We're going
to stop here and check out what's in front of
us. Over.
CRAZY EARL, keeping low, scrambles up to the
LUSTHOG SQUAD.
CRAZY EARL
Okay. Lusthog Squad, listen up! We're gonna
move up these two roads here and check the
ville. I want the third team up this road here.
First and second fire team behind me up this
other road, okay?
Adlibs of "Right!" and "Okay!"
CRAZY EARL
Let's go! Let's get it done!
Bending low the squad moves out past the tanks,
leapfrogging toward some ruined buildings a couple
of hundred yards in front of them.
HAND JOB peers cautiously around the corner of a
house and is killed instantly by a burst of
automatic fire.
ANIMAL MOTHER opens fire with his M-60 machine
gun at some windows where the shots came from.
Everyone opens fire, blasting chunks out of the
building with a zillion rounds.
T.H.E. ROCK fires an M-79 grenade, blowing out a
window.
RAFTERMAN photographs the action, his Nikon
violently shaking.
The fire slackens.
Then it gets quiet.
All their senses alert, everyone watches the
building, listening hard.
They reload.
As CRAZY EARL reloads he spots six V.C. dashing
across the street fifty yards away. They are out of
sight in a second.
Having missed his first chance, CRAZY EARL gets
set hoping for another.
Two more V.C. rush out into the open. He fires a
long burst from his M-16 and they both go down.
CRAZY EARL turns to the squad with a big grin.
Music: "Surfin' Bird" by the Trashmen. This car-
ries over through the next scene.
70 EXT. LOW WALL--DAY
The platoon are hunched down behind a low wall.
Tanks fire at some distant buildings. A three-man
TV crew, ducking low, moves past them, filming.
JOKER
(John Wayne voice)
Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?
COWBOY
Hey, start the cameras. This is "Vietnam--
the Movie!"
EIGHTBALL
Yeah, Joker can be John Wayne. I'll be a
horse!
DONLON
T.H.E. Rock can be a rock!
T.H.E. ROCK
I'll be Ann-Margret!
DOC JAY
Animal Mother can be a rabid buffalo!
CRAZY EARL
I'll be General Custer!
RAFTERMAN
Well, who'll be the Indians?
ANIMAL MOTHER
Hey, we'll let the gooks play the Indians!
Laughter.
71 EXT. HUE CITY RUINS--DAY
The bodies of LIEUTENANT TOUCHDOWN and HAND
JOB laid out on ground sheets. The LUSTHOG SQUAD
are gathered around them. The camera moves to
each man, pausing for them to speak.
T.H.E. ROCK
You're going home now.
Camera move.
CRAZY EARL
Semper fi.
Camera move.
DONLON
We're mean marines, sir.
Camera move.
EIGHTBALL
Go easy, bros.
Camera move.
ANIMAL MOTHER
Better you than me.
RAFTERMAN
Well, at least they died for a good cause.
ANIMAL MOTHER
What cause was that?
RAFTERMAN
Freedom.
ANIMAL MOTHER
Flush out your head gear, new guy. You think
we waste gooks for freedom? This is a
slaughter. If I'm gonna get my balls blown off
for a word ... my word is "poontang."
COWBOY
Tough break for Hand Job. He was all set to
get shipped out on a medical.
JOKER
What was the matter with him?
COWBOY
He was jerkin' off ten times a day.
EIGHTBALL
It's no shit. At least ten times a day.
COWBOY
Last week he was sent down to Da Nang to
see the Navy head shrinker, and the crazy
fucker starts jerking off in the waiting room.
Instant Section Eight. He was just waiting for
his papers to clear division.
72 EXT. HUE CITY--VARIOUS PLACES--DAY
The television crew interviews members of the
LUSTHOG SQUAD.
REPORTER
You ready?
CAMERAMAN
Yeah.
REPORTER
Turnover.
CAMERAMAN
Rolling.
REPORTER
Hue City interviews. Roll thirty-four.
ANIMAL MOTHER
Well ... like, like you see, you know, it's a
major city, so we have to assault with, uh ...
tanks. So, they send us in first squad ... to
make sure that there are no little Vietnamese
waiting with, like, B-40 rockets that blow the
tanks away. So we clear it out and we roll the
tanks in and ... basically, blow the place to
hell.
(chuckles)
COWBOY
When we're in Hue ... when we're in Hue City
... it's like a war. You know like what I
thought about a war, what I thought a war
was, was supposed to be. There's the enemy,
kill 'em.
RAFTERMAN
Well, I don't think there's any question about
it. I mean we're the best. I mean all that
bullshit about the Air Cav ... When the shit
really hits the fan, who do they call? They call
Mother Green and her killing machine!
CRAZY EARL
Do I think America belongs in Vietnam? Um
... I don't know. I belong in Vietnam. I'll tell
you that.
DOC JAY
Can I quote L.B.J.?
REPORTER
Sure.
DOC JAY
(imitating L.B.J.)
"I will not send American boys eight or ten
thousand miles around the world to do a job
that Asian boys oughtta be doin' for
themselves."
EIGHTBALL
Personally, I think, uh ... they don't really
want to be involved in this war. I mean ...
they sort of took away our freedom and gave it
to the, to the gookers, you know. But they
don't want it. They'd rather be alive than free,
I guess. Poor dumb bastards.
COWBOY
Well, the ones I'm ... I'm fighting at are some
pretty bad boys. I'm not real keen on ... some
of these fellows that are . . . supposed to be on
our side. I keep meeting'em coming the other
way. Yeah.
DONLON
I mean, we're getting killed for these people
and they don't even appreciate it. They think
it's a big joke.
ANIMAL MOTHER
Well, if you ask me, uh, we're shooting the
wrong gooks.
RAFTERMAN
Well, it depends on the situation. I mean,
I'm--I'm here to take combat photos. But if
the shit gets too thick, I mean, I'll go to the
rifle.
ANIMAL MOTHER
What do I think about America's involvement
in the war? Well, I think we should win.
COWBOY
I hate Vietnam. There's not one horse in this
whole country. They don't have one horse in
Vietnam. There's something basically wrong
with that.
(laughs)
ANIMAL MOTHER
Well, if they'd send us more guys and maybe
bomb the hell out of the North, they might,
uh, they might give up.
JOKER
I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of
Southeast Asia. I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture
and ... kill them. I wanted to be the first kid
on my block to get a confirmed kill.
73 EXT. WRECKED MOVIE THEATER--DAY
The marines are seated outside the theater on rows
of broken movie seats.
A motor-scooter, driven by a young ARVN soldier
with a pretty teenage Vietnamese HOOKER sitting
behind him, and pulls up in front of the LUSTHOG
SQUAD.
The girl gets off slowly, swinging her hips as she
walks.
Adlibs, hoots anal hollers.
COWBOY
Ten-hut!
More hoots and hollers.
COWBOY
Good morning, little schoolgirl. I'm a little
schoolboy, too.
Adlibs and laughter.
COWBOY
What you got there, chief!
The girl stands facing them, hands on hips.
ARVN PIMP
Do you want number one fuckee?
Adlibs and laughter.
COWBOY
Hey, any of you boys want number one
fuckee?
Adlibs.
JOKER
Oh, I'm so horny. I can't even get a piece of
hand.
DONLON
Hey! Hey! Me want suckee.
ARVN PIMP
Suckee, fuckee, smoke cigarette in the
pussy, she give you everything you want. Long
time.
Laughter.
COWBOY
Everything you want! All right! How much
there, chief!
ARVN PIMP
Fifteen dolla each.
Adlibs: "Nooooooo!"
COWBOY
Number ten. Fifteen dolla beaucoup money.
Laughter.
COWBOY
Five dolla each.
ARVN PIMP
Come on. She love you good. Boom-boom long
time. Ten dolla.
COWBOY
Five dolla.
ARVN PIMP
No. Ten dolla.
COWBOY
Be glad to trade you some ARVN rifles. Never
been fired and only dropped once.
Laughter and derisive adlibs.
ARVN PIMP
(angry)
Okay, five dolla. You give me.
Adlibs.
COWBOY
Okay, okay!
EIGHTBALL, a black grunt, walks up to the girl.
EIGHTBALL
Let's get mounted.
HOOKER
(speaks in Vietnamese)
ARVN PIMP
(argues in Vietnamese)
EIGHTBALL
Something wrong there, chief?
ARVN PIMP
She says, uh, no boom-boom with soul
brotha.
EIGHTBALL
Hey, what the mother fuck?
ARVN PIMP
She say soul brotha too boo-coo. Too boo-coo.
EIGHTBALL
Hey, what is this, man?
COWBOY
(breaiting up)
I think what he's trying to tell you is that
you black boys pack too much meat.
Laughter.
ARVN PIMP
Too boo-coo. Too boo-coo.
EIGHTBALL
Oh, shi-i-i-t! (laughs) This baby-san looks
like she could suck the chrome off a trailer
hitch.
Laughter.
ARVN PIMP
She say too boo-coo. Too boo-coo.
EIGHTBALL
Uh, excuse me, ma'am. Now what we have
here, little yellow sister, is a magnificent...
(takes out his dick)
. . specimen of pure Alabama blacksnake.
But it ain't too goddamn boo-coo.
The girl looks at it.
Hoots and catcalls.
TEENAGE HOOKER
Okay. Okay. Emjee.
More hoots.
COWBOY
(mimicking Vietnamese word)
Okay! Okay! Emjee! Emjee!
Adlibs of "Emjee."
EIGHTBALL starts to lead her away.
EIGHTBALL
All right! This is my boogie!
COWBOY
Hey, we need a batting order.
ANIMAL MOTHER grabs the girl's arm, EIGHTBALL
holds on to the other one.
ANIMAL MOTHER
I'm going first.
EIGHTBALL
Hey, now back off, white bread. Don't get
between a dog and his meat.
ANIMAL MOTHER slaps EIGHTBALL on the wrist like
he's a naughty boy and pushes the girl into the
movie theater.
ANIMAL MOTHER
(jokingly)
All fucking niggers must fucking hang.
Adlibs of "Fuck you!" and laughter.
ANIMAL MOTHER
Hey, hey! I won't be long. I'll skip the
foreplay.
FADE IN:
74 EXT. HUE CITY RUINS--DAY
The LUSTHOG SQUAD on patrol moves slowly in
single file, fifteen yards apart, through the ruined,
smouldering city.
JOKER
(voiceouer)
Intelligence passed the word down that during
the night the N.V.A. had pulled out of our
area to positions across the Perfume River.
Our squad is sent on patrol to check out the
report.
75 INT. BOMBED FACTORY--DAY
The patrol moves carefully through the gutted shell
of a building. The clink of their gear as they walk
sounds loud in the unnatural silence.
CRAZY EARL stops to pick up a child's stuffed toy.
BANG!
The toy triggs a booby trap, blasting CRAZY EARL
across the room.
The squad dives for couer.
COWBOY
Face outboard and take cover! Do it!
DOC JAY scurries up to CRAZY EARL, who is
unconscious and gives him mouth-to-mouth
resuscitation.
COWBOY scrambles up to them. He looks at CRAZY
EARL. Then JOKER runs in.
DOC JAY
(stops for a second)
He aidt gonna make it.
COWBOY
(to himself)
Shit.
COWBOY doesn't know, what to do. Then he fumbles
for his field radio.
COWBOY
Hotel One Actual, this is Cowboy!
DOC JAY continues the mouth-to-mouth.
COWBOY
Hotel One Actual, this is Cowboy!
MURPHY
(o.s.)
Hotel One. Over
COWBOY
Murph, this is Cowboy. Craze is hit. Booby
trap.
MURPHY
(o.s.)
Roger. Understand. Wait One.
COWBOY looks around edgily.
MURPHY
(o.s.)
You're senior N.C.O. You take charge and
continue on with the patrol. Call in at the
next checkpoint. Over.
COWBOY
Roger. Out.
COWBOY stares at the radio. He looks scared. He
turns to JOKER.
COWBOY
I'm squad leader.
JOKER punches him reassuringly in the arm.
JOKER
I'll follow you anywhere, scumbag.
DOC JAY stops working over CRAZY EARL and slowly
looks up.
DOC JAY
He's dead.
The three men stare at the body.
76 EXT. BURNING FALLEN BUILDING--DAY
The squad moves past a burning five-storey
building that has collapsed and is lying on its side.
DISSOLVE TO:
77 EXT. LOW CONCRETE WALL--DAY
EIGHTBALL, on point, studies a map as he walks.
Then he slours to a stop and signals to halt the
squad.
The squad stops ancl crouches down in the rubble.
EIGHTBALL gestures for COWBOY to move up.
EIGHTBALL
(quietly)
Cowboy!
COWBOY moves up and they kneel behind a low
concrete wall.
COWBOY
What's up?
EIGHTBALL
I think we made a mistake at the last
checkpoint.
He shows COWBOY the map.
EIGHTBALL
Here ... see what you think. I think we're
here and we should be here.
COWBOY studies the map.
COWBOY
We're here?
EIGHTBALL
Yeah.
COWBOY
We should be here?
EIGHTBALL
Yeah ...yeah ... that's right.
COWBOY is confused and scared.
He checks his compass. Then he peers over the wall
through his binoculars.
COWBOY looks back nervously at the squacl strung
out behind him.
COWBOY
Fuck ... What do you think?
EIGHTBALL
Well, I think we should change direction.
EIGHTBALL doesn't sound like he really knows what
to do either.
COWBOY knows he has to make a decision.
COWBOY
Okay. We'll change direction.
COWBOY motions to the squad to come up. They
rattle up and take positions behind the low wall.
JOKER
What's up?
COWBOY
Changing direction.
JOKER
What, are we lost?
COWBOY
Joker, shut the fuck up!
COWBOY
(to squad)
Okay! Listen up! Can you hear me?
Adlibs of "Yeah!"
COWBOY
Okay, we're changing direction. We're heading
over that way.
COWBOY points over the wall to some ruined
buildings across an open space to their Left.
COWBOY
Eightball's gonna go out and see if he can
find a way through.
EIGHTBALL shrugs, apprehensiuely.
COWBOY
Got it?
Adlibs of "Yeah!"
COWBOY
Eightball ... let's dance.
EIGHTBALL slowly gets to his Knees and peers
over the wall.
EIGHTBALL
Put a nigger behind the trigger.
78 EXT. RUINED STREET HUE--DAY
EIGHTBALL climbs over the low wall and moves
cautiously out into the open, heading for the
damaged buildings.
The squad covers him.
EIGHTBALL reaches the buildings and stops to
study the smoke-filled square.
79 SNIPER P.O.V. -- DAY
P.O.V. from a concealed position on the second
floor of a building on the square, an AK-47 rifle is
slowly raised and aimed at EIGHTBALL.
EIGHTBALL turns back to wave the rest of the
squad up.
BANG!
The SNIPER fires.
EIGHTBALL is hit in the leg.
Seen in slow motion, EIGHTBALL twists and
crumples to the ground.
The LUSTHOG SQUAD fires blindly, wildly, at every
door and window in the direction of the shot.
COWBOY
Okay, cease fire! Cease fire, goddamn it!
Some of the squad keep firing.
COWBOY
Cool it, goddamn it! Cool it! Cease fire!
AdLibs of "Cease fire!"
The firing stutters to a stop.
COWBOY
Okay, listen up! Did anybody see a sniper?
Did anybody see anything?
T.H.E. ROCK
(down the line)
Did anybody see a sniper?
DOC JAY
No!
DONLON
Nothing!
RAFTERMAN
Negative!
T.H.E. ROCK
Nothing!
Adlibs of "No!"
COWBOY
Okay, then save your ammo! Nobody fire till I
tell you!
Seen, in slow, motion, the SNIPER fires again and hits
EIGHTBALL in the arm. He screams in pain.
The squad opens fire at buildings facing them.
COWBOY
No, no! Cease fire! Cease fire! Animal, cease
fire!
Keeping low, DONLON comes up and hands COWBOY
the radio.
DONLON
Cowboy, it's Sergeant Murphy.
COWBOY
(into radio)
This is Cowboy. Over.
MURPHY
(o.s.)
This is Murphy. What is your present
position? Over.
COWBOY
Murph, we're receiving enemy sniper fire.
Eightball is down. Our position is about half
a klick north of checkpoint four. Believe pos-
sible strong enemy force occupying buildings
in front of us. Request immediate tank
support. Over.
MURPHY
(o.s.)
Roger. Understand. I'll see what I can do.
Over.
COWBOY
Roger. Over and out.
COWBOY
(to Donlon)
Stay close.
DONLON
Got it.
COWBOY thinks hard for a few seconds.
COWBOY
(to squad)
Okay, listen up! I think we're being set up
for an ambush. I think there may be strong
enemy forces in those buildings over there.
I've requested tank support. We're gonna sit
tight until it comes, but keep your eyes open.
If they decide to hit us, we'll have to pull
back fast.
The SNIPER fires, wounding EIGHTBALL again, this
time in the foot. He shrieks in agony.
Again the squad opens fire.
COWBOY
Goddamn it! Hold! Cease your fire, Mother!
Cease your fucking fire!
The firing stops.
DOC JAY
Cowboy!
COWBOY
What?
DOC JAY
We can't leave him out there!
COWBOY
We're not leaving him! We'll get him when the
tank comes up.
DOC JAY
He's hit three fucking times! He can't wait
that long!
COWBOY
I've seen this before! That sniper's just trying
to suck us in one at a time!
The SNIPER fires and hits EIGHTBALL in the thigh.
His cries echo across the open space ground.
ANIMAL MOTHER fires madly.
COWBOY
(shouting)
Goddamn it! No!
The squad continues firing.
COWBOY
Goddamn it, cease fire!
The firing trails off:
ANIMAL MOTHER
He's out there alone!
COWBOY
Cease fire!
The firing stops.
DOC JAY
Man, fuck this, fuck this shit! I'm going out to
bring him in!
COWBOY
No! You stay the fuck down!
DOC JAY
Cover me!
DOC JAY jumps over the wall and, ducking low, zig-
zags across the open ground.
The squad fires to cover him.
DOC JAY gets there safely and momentarily drops out
of sight.
COWBOY
Goddamn it! Goddamn it! Okay, cease fire!
He's there!
Adlibs of "Cease fire!"
80 SNIPER P.O.V.--DAY
DOC JAY, Seen over the sights of the SNIPER's AK-47,
drags EIGHTBALL toward cover.
81 EXT. THE SQUARE--DAY
The SNIPER fires. DOC JAY is hit and falls next to
EIGHTBALL.
The squad opens fire again.
COWBOY
Hold your fire! Hold your fire!!! Cease fire!
You can't see the sniper! Save the ammo!
Nobody fire till I tell you! Nobody!
ANIMAL MOTHER
What the fuck do we do now, Cowboy?
COWBOY
Gimme that fucking radio.
DONLON scuttles over with the radio.
COWBOY
(into radio)
Murph? This is Cowboy. Over.
MURPHY
(o.s.)
This is Murphy. Over.
COWBOY
Murph, we're in some deep shit. I got two men
down. What's the story on that fucking tank?
Over.
MURPHY
(o.s.)
Sorry, Cowboy. No luck so far with the tank.
Will advise. Over.
COWBOY
Roger. Out.
(muttering to himself)
Numbnut bastards!
(to the squad)
Okay, listen up!
T.H.E. ROCK
Listen up!
COWBOY
Can't afford to wait for the tank. I think
they're gonna hit us any minute. When they
do we won't have time to pull out. We gotta do
it now. Let's get ready to move.
No one moves or says anything.
T.H.E. ROCK
Get ready to pull out!
ANIMAL MOTHER
Wait a minute! Hold it! Hold it! Nobody's
pulling out! There's only one fucking sniper
out there!
COWBOY
Back off, Mother! I'm calling the plays! I say
we're pulling out!
ANIMAL MOTHER
Yeah, well, what about Doc Jay and Eightball?
COWBOY
I know it's a shitty thing to do, but we can't
refuse to accept the situation.
ANIMAL MOTHER
Yeah, well, we're not leaving Doc Jay and
Eightball out there!
COWBOY
Doc Jay and Eightball are wasted! You know
that!
ANIMAL MOTHER
Bullshit! Come on, you guys! We gotta go
bring'em back! Let's go get 'em! Let's do it!
COWBOY
Stand down, Mother! That's a direct order!
ANIMAL MOTHER
Fuck you, Cowboy! Fuck all you assholes!
ANIMAL MOTHER jumps over the wall and runs
screaming and firing his M-60.
The squad fires to cover him, blasting chunks of
mortar and concrete from the buildings.
ANIMAL MOTHER
(screaming)
Fucking son-of-a-bitch! You motherfucker!
Aaagh! Whooo!
ANIMAL MOTHER reaches the buildings and drops
down against a shattered wall. He calls across the
open street.
ANIMAL MOTHER
Doc! Doc! Doc! Where's the sniper?
DOC JAY tries to speak.
ANIMAL MOTHER
Doc, where's the sniper?
Barely able to move, DOC JAY tries to point in the
direction of the SNIPER.
Suddenly he and EIGHTBALL are riddled by a burst
of automatic fire from the SNIPER, Killing them
instantly.
ANIMAL MOTHER's eyes widen in horror.
ANIMAL MOTHER
(under his breath)
Shit!
ANIMAL MOTHER gets to his feet and edges forward to
the corner of the building.
He carefully looks around the corner across the
square at the black building, from where he thinks
the shots were fired.
BANG!
A shot from the SNIPER ricochets off the wall a few
inches from his head.
He ducks back around the corner, breathing hard.
ANIMAL MOTHER looks around and carefully works
his way to a safer spot behind another building.
He shouts to the squad.
ANIMAL MOTHER
Hey, Cowboy!
COWBOY
Yeah!
ANIMAL MOTHER
Doc Jay and Eightball are wasted! There's
only one sniper, nothing else. Move up the
squad! You're clear up to here! Come on!
COWBOY isn't sure what to do.
COWBOY
(mutters)
Son-of-a-bitch.
The squad look to him.
He takes a couple of thoughtful breaths and decides
to go.
COWBOY
Okay, listen up!
No-Doze, Stutten, Donlon, Rock--you come
with me, we'll take a look! The rest of you
stay put and cover our ass! We may be
coming back in a big hurry!
JOKER
I'm going with you.
RAFTERMAN
I'm coming, too.
COWBOY
Okay.
(To the others)
You all set?
Adlibs "Yeah!"
COWBOY
Let's move out!
T.H.E. ROCK
Let's do it!
The five men clamber over the wall and dash
across the broken ground to the smouldering
cluster of buildings.
When they reach ANIMAL MOTHER he leads them
to a street off the square where they duck down
against a shattered building.
They catch their breath and move forward to the
next building, where they crouch down against
the wall.
ANIMAL MOTHER
(pointing)
Cowboy .. . top of the black building,
around the corner.
COWBOY cautiously moves to the corner of the
building and studies the strange-looking black
building which commands the square.
Then. he ducks back around the corner, more
uncertain than ever what they should do.
COWBOY
Donlon ... give me that radio.
COWBOY moves to DONLON to take the radio.
Facing away from the black building, COWBOY does
not notice that from the place he has moved to he
can be seen. by the SNIPER through a jagged hole in
the building.
83 SNIPER P.O.V. OF COWBOY
The SNIPER's P.O.V. --COWBOY's upper body is just
visible through the hole in the building.
84 EXT. SQUARE--DUSK
COWBOY
Murphy, this is Cowboy. Over!
A gunshot reverberates.
In slow-motion COWBOY falls.
JOKER
Cowboy!
ANIMAL MOTHER starts firing his M-60.
RAFTERMAN
(shouting)
Holy shit! The sniper's got a clean shot
through the hole in the wall.
Much yelling, shouting and confusion as the men
realize where the shot came from.
JOKER
(shouting)
Get him! Get him the fuck outta here!!
COWBOY is carried behind the building.
All talk at once.
JOKER
Easy! Easy!
DONLON
Get him on his back.
Adlibs.
COWBOY
(weakly)
Oh, I don't believe this shit.
Adlibs, fumbling for bandages, etc.
JOKER
Shut up! You'll be all right, Cowboy.
T.H.E. ROCK
Take it easy, Cowboy.
Four pairs of hands doing things.
COWBOY
(moaning)
Uhhh, that son-of-a-bitch!
JOKER
You're gonna be all right.
T.H.E. ROCK
You're going home, man. You're going home.
DONLON
Easy, man. Easy. Easy.
COWBOY
Ohhhh, don't shit me, JOKER! Don't shit me!
JOKER
I wouldn't shit you, man. You're my favorite
turd.
COWBOY begins to lose consciousness.
JOKER
Cowboy...
DONLON
Hang on, man. Hang on!
COWBOY
(coughs)
I ... I can hack it.
T.H.E. ROCK
You can hack it.
COWBOY
I can. I-I...
COWBOY spits up some blood and dies in JOKER's
arms.
JOKER bends down and hugs COWBOY.
Nobody moves.
Then, one by one, they slowly get to their feet.
JOKER is the last to get up.
They stand looking at the body.
ANIMAL MOTHER leaves two men to continue firing
at the SNIPER, and he scuttles around the corner to
the group around COWBOY's body.
He looks at COWBOY and then at JOKER.
ANIMAL MOTHER
Let's go get some payback.
JOKER looks up slowly.
JOKER
(in cold anger)
Okay.
ANIMAL MOTHER leads then down a narrow street.
They stop to take cover behind a building just off
the square.
They have to cross the open. square, ruhich would
give the SNIPER a clear shot at them.
ANIMAL MOTHER
Give 'em some smoke.
He and JOKER toss three smoke grenades into the
square. They explode ruith a dull bang.
They wait while the square slowly fills with
smoke.
ANIMAL MOTHER waves and they run out blindly
through the thick smoke to the other side of the
square.
85 INT. BLACK BUILDING
They work their way into the shattered, burning
building, past twisted steel girders and huge broken
chunks of concrete.
They come to a place where they have to split up.
ANIMAL MOTHER points one way.
ANIMAL MOTHER
Donlon, Rock--that way. You two with me.
DONLON and T.H.E. ROCK move off as ordered.
JOKER and RAFTERMAN follow ANIMAL MOTHER the
other way.
They come to another place where they have to
choose which way to go.
ANIMAL MOTHER
(pointing)
JOKER, in there! New Guy with me.
JOKER cautiously enters one door. ANIMAL MOTHER
and RAFTERMAN disappear through the other.
86 INT. WRECKED AND BURNING LOBBY--DAY
JOKER finds himself in what was the lobby of the
building, a large room, which is on fire, with
shattered columns, oriental arches, and windows
with large decorative grillwork.
JOKER inches slowly into the room.
He hears a noise, ducks behind a column and peers
around it.
He sees a small, black-clad figure standing at a
window - the SNIPER.
He raises his rifle, aims and squeezes the trigger.
A loud click.
In slow motion the SNIPER turns to face JOKER.
We see the startled face of a beautiful Vietnamese
girl of about fifteen.
In slow motion JOKER frantically works the bolt of
his M-16.
With the hard eyes of a grunt, the SNIPER fires her
AK-47 rifle.
In slow motion JOKER ducks behind the column,
desperately trying to unjam his M-16 rifle.
In, slow motion the SNIPER fires and runs down a
few steps to get a better shot at JOKER.
The bullets from her AK-47 tear large chunks of
masonry from the column shielding him.
Suddenly the SNIPER's body seems to explode as she
is hit by a burst of automatic fire.
RAFTERMAN has come up and fires his M-16 into the
girl's body.
JOKER stands trembling against the shattered
column.
RAFTERMAN snaps another M-16 magazine into
place, gestures JOKER to stay put, and moves
forward like Supergrunt to check out the rest of the
room.
It's clear.
He moves to the window, and shouts to the two men
in the square.
RAFTERMAN
We got the sniper!
The SNIPER lies on the floor, writhing in pain.
JOKER and RAFTERMAN cautiously approach her.
RAFTERMAN kicks away her AK-47.
The two men stare at her in disbelief:
The SNIPER is a child, no more than fifteen years
old, a slender Eurasian. angel with dark beautiful
eyes.
They are startled by a faint sound.
They dive for cover.
They listen.
ANIMAL MOTHER calls from behind cover at the other
end of the room.
ANIMAL MOTHER
Joker?
JOKER
Yo.
ANIMAL MOTHER
What's up?
JOKER
We got the sniper.
RAFTERMAN and JOKER circle around the SNIPER as
DONLON and T.H.E. ROCK and ANIMAL MOTHER walk
up.
RAFTERMAN
I saved JOKER's ass. I got the sniper. I fucking
blew her away.
RAFTERMAN laughs hysterically, and kisses his rifle.
RAFTERMAN
Am I bad? Am I a life-taker? Am I a heart-
breaker?
No one pays any attention to RAFTERMAN.
The SNIPER gasps, whimpers.
DONLON stares at her.
DONLON
What's she saying?
JOKER
(after a pause)
She's praying.
T.H.E. ROCK
No more boom-boom for this baby-san. There's
nothing we can do for her. She's dead meat.
ANIMAL MOTHER stares down at the SNIPER.
ANIMAL MOTHER
Okay. Let's get the fuck outta here.
JOKER
What about her?
ANIMAL MOTHER
Fuck her. Let her rot.
The SNIPER prays in Vietnanese.
JOKER
We can't just leave her here.
ANIMAL MOTHER
Hey, asshole ... Cowboy's wasted. You're
fresh out of friends. I'm running this squad
now and I say we leave the gook for the
mother-lovin' rats.
JOKER stares at ANIMAL MOTHER.
JOKER
I'm not trying to run this squad. I'm just
saying we can't leave her like this.
ANIMAL MOTHER looks down at the SNIPER.
SNIPER
(whimpering)
Sh . . . sh-shoot . . . me. Shoot . . . me.
ANIMAL MOTHER looks at JOKER.
ANIMAL MOTHER
If you want to waste her, go on, waste her.
JOKER looks at the SNIPER.
The four men look at JOKER.
SNIPER
(gasping)
Shoot . . . me . . . shoot . . . me.
JOKER slowly lifts his pistol and looks into her
eyes.
SNIPER
Shoot . . . me.
JOKER jerks the trigger.
BANG!
The four men are silent.
JOKER stares down at the dead girl.
RAFTERMAN
(laughs)
JOKER ... we're gonna have to put you up for
the Congressional Medal of... Ugly!
(laughs)
JOKER looks at RAFTERMAN, blankly.
DONLON
Hard core, man. Fucking hard core.
87 EXT. BURNING CITY--NIGHT.
The platoon moves through the city, silhouetted
against the raging fires. A scene in, hell.
JOKER
(narration)
We have nailed our names in the pages of
history enough for today. We hump down to
the Perfume River to set in for the night.
The marines start to sing.
MARINE PLATOON
Who's the leader of the club that's made for
you and me?
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E.
Hey there. Hi there. Ho there. You're as
welcome as can be.
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E.
Mickey Mouse. (Mickey Mouse.)
Mickey Mouse. (Mickey Mouse.)
Forever let us hold our banner high.
High. High. High.
Come along and sing a song and join the
jamboree.
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E.
Here we go a-marching and a-shouting
merrily.
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E.
We play fair and we work hard and we're in
harmony.
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E.
Mickey Mouse. (Mickey Mouse.)
Mickey Mouse. (Mickey Mouse.)
Forever let us hold our banner high.
High. High. High.
Boys and girls from far and near you're as
welcome as can be.
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E.
Who's the leader of the club that's made for
you and me?
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E.
Who is marching coast to coast and far across
the sea?
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E.
Mickey Mouse. (Mickey Mouse.)
Mickey Mouse. (Mickey Mouse.)
Forever let us hold his banner high.
High. High. High.
Come along and sing a song and join the
family.
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E.
JOKER
(voiceover)
My thoughts drift back to erect nipple wet
dreams about Mary Jane Rottencrotch and
the Great Homecoming Fuck Fantasy. I am so
happy that I am alive, in one piece and short.
I'm in a world of shit . . . yes. But I am alive.
And I am not afraid.
MARINE PLATOON
(singing)
Come along and sing this song and join our
family.
M-I-C-K-E-Y- M-O-U-S-E
The marines march off into the distance.
MARINE PLATOON
(singing)
Who's the leader of the club that's made for
you and me?
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E
Hey there! Hi there! Ho there!
You're as welcome as can be.
Mickey Mouse ...
The sound fades aulay as the scene fades to black.