PART 4 // chapter 5-1

[모나리자]

다음날 아침 11시에 라스콜니코프가 정각에

범죄 사건 수사 부서에 들어가 포르피리 페트로비치에게 자신의 이름을 보냈을 때, 그는 그렇게 오랫동안 기다리게 되어 놀랐다. 그가 소환되기까지 적어도 10분은 걸렸다.

그는 그들이 자신을 덮칠 것이라고 예상했다. 하지만 그는 대기실에 서 있었고, 그와 아무 상관이 없는 사람들이 계속해서 그의 앞을 오가고 있었다. 사무실처럼 보이는 옆방에는 여러 명의 사무원이 앉아서 글을 쓰고 있었고, 그들은 라스콜니코프가 누구인지 또는 무엇인지 전혀 알지 못하는 게 분명했다.

그는 불안하고 의심스럽게 주변을 둘러보며 탈출을 막기 위해 그를 감시하는 경비원이나 신비로운 시계가 있는지 확인했다. 하지만 그런 것은 없었다. 그는 사소한 일에 몰두한 사무원들의 얼굴만 보았고, 그 다음에는 다른 사람들이 보였고, 아무도 그에게 관심이 없는 듯했다. 그는 그들을 위해 원하는 곳으로 갈 수 있었다. 어제의 그 수수께끼 같은 남자, 그 유령이 땅에서 솟아나와 모든 것을 보았다면, 그들이 그를 그렇게 서서 기다리게 두지 않았을 것이라는 확신이 그에게 더욱 강해졌습니다.

그리고 그들은 그가 열한 시에 나타나기로 선택할 때까지 기다렸을까요? 그 남자는 아직 정보를 제공하지 않았거나... 아니면 그저 아무것도 몰랐거나 아무것도 보지 못했을 것입니다(그리고 어떻게 그가 아무것도 볼 수 있었을까요?) 그래서 전날 그에게 일어난 모든 일이 다시 그의 병들고 과로한 상상력에 의해 과장된 유령이었을 것입니다. 이 추측은 전날, 그의 모든 불안과 절망 속에서 강해지기 시작했습니다. 이제 모든 것을 생각하고 새로운 갈등을 준비하면서 그는 갑자기 자신이 떨고 있다는 것을 깨달았습니다. 그리고 그는 증오스러운 포르피리 페트로비치와 마주하는 것에 두려움에 떨고 있다는 생각에 분노가 치밀었습니다.

그가 무엇보다도 두려워했던 것은 그 남자를 다시 만나는 것이었습니다. 그는 그를 강렬하고 완전한 증오로 증오했고 그의 증오가 자신을 배신할까 두려웠습니다. 그의 분노는 너무 심해서 그는 즉시 떨림을 멈췄다. 그는 차갑고 거만한 태도로 들어가려고 했고 가능한 한 조용히 있고, 지켜보고 듣고, 적어도 한 번은 긴장된 신경을 조절하겠다고 다짐했다. 그 순간 그는 포르피리 페트로비치에게 불려갔다. 그는 포르피리 페트로비치가 서재에 혼자 있는 것을 발견했다.

그의 서재는 크지도 작지도 않은 방이었고, 커다란 책상이 놓여 있었고, 그 앞에는 체크 무늬로 장식된 소파, 서랍장, 구석에 있는 책장, 그리고 여러 개의 의자가 있었다. 모두 광택이 나는 노란 나무로 만든 정부 가구였다. 더 멀리 있는 벽에는 닫힌 문이 있었고, 그 너머에는 의심할 여지 없이 다른 방들이 있었다. 라스콜니코프의 입구에서 포르피리 페트로비치는 그가 들어온 문을 즉시 닫았고 그들은 혼자 남았다. 그는 겉보기에 친절하고 기분 좋은 태도로 방문객을 맞이했으며, 몇 분 후에야 라스콜니코프는 그에게서 어색함의 징후를 보았습니다. 마치 자신이 계산에서 벗어난 것처럼, 또는 매우 비밀스러운 무언가에 갇힌 것처럼 말입니다.

"아, 친애하는 친구야! 여기 네가... 우리 영역에 있구나"... 포르피리는 그에게 두 손을 내밀며 말을 시작했다. "와서 앉으세요, 노인... 아니면 '친애하는 친구'와 '노인'이라고 불리는 게 싫으신가요? 너무 친숙하다고 생각하지 마세요... 여기, 소파에요." 라스콜니코프는 앉아서 그에게 시선을 고정했다. "우리 영역에요." 친숙함에 대한 사과, 프랑스어 표현인 tout court는 모두 특징적인 신호였다.

"그는 나에게 두 손을 내밀었지만, 한 손은 주지 않았어요. 그는 제때에 다시 잡았어요." 그는 의심스럽게 생각했다. 둘은 서로를 바라보았지만, 눈이 마주치자 번개처럼 재빨리 시선을 돌렸다.

"이 신문을 가져왔어요... 시계에 대한 내용이에요. 여기 있어요. 괜찮으세요? 아니면 다시 베껴야 하나요?" "뭐요? 신문이에요? 네, 네, 불안해하지 마세요, 괜찮아요." 포르피리 페트로비치가 서두르듯 말했고, 말하고 나서 그는 종이를 받아 들여 보았다. "네, 괜찮아요. 더 이상 필요 없어요." 그는 똑같은 재빠른 속도로 선언하고 종이를 테이블 위에 놓았다. 1분 후 다른 이야기를 하다가 그는 종이를 테이블에서 받아 책상 위에 올려놓았다. "어제 당신이 나에게... 공식적으로... 살해된 여자와의 친분에 대해 질문하고 싶다고 말했던 것 같아요?" 라스콜니코프가 다시 말을 시작했다. "왜 '믿습니다'라고 썼을까"가 순식간에 그의 머릿속을 스쳐 지나갔다.

"왜 '믿습니다'라고 쓴 게 그렇게 불안할까?" 두 번째 생각이 번쩍 들었다. 그리고 그는 갑자기 포르피리와 처음 마주친 순간, 첫 단어, 첫 눈에 느꼈던 불안이 순식간에 엄청난 규모로 커졌고, 이것은 무섭게 위험하다는 것을 느꼈다. 그의 신경이 떨리고 감정이 고조되었다. "나쁘다, 나쁘다! 또 너무 많이 말해야겠다." "그래, 그래, 그래! 서두를 필요 없어, 서두를 필요 없어." 포르피리 페트로비치가 중얼거리며, 아무 목적도 없이 테이블 위를 왔다 갔다 하며, 창문, 책상, 테이블 쪽으로 달려가고, 한 순간 라스콜니코프의 의심스러운 시선을 피하다가 다시 가만히 서서 그의 얼굴을 똑바로 바라보았다.

그의 살찐 둥근 몸은 매우 이상해 보였다. 마치 한쪽에서 다른 쪽으로 굴러가다가 다시 튀어오르는 공 같았다. "시간은 충분해. 담배 피우니? 담배 있어? 여기, 담배!" 그는 계속해서 방문객에게 담배를 권했다. "내가 여기서 널 맞이한다는 건 알지만, 내 방은 저기에 있어. 정부 방이지. 하지만 지금은 밖에서 지내야 해. 여기서 수리를 해야 했어. 이제 거의 다 끝났어... 정부 방은 정말 대단해.

어, 어떻게 생각해?" "그렇습니다, 대단한 일이죠." 라스콜니코프가 거의 아이러니하게 그를 바라보며 대답했다. "대단한 일, 대단한 일이죠." 포르피리 페트로비치가 마치 완전히 다른 것을 방금 생각해 낸 것처럼 반복했다. "그렇습니다, 대단한 일이죠." 그는 마침내 거의 소리치듯 말하며 갑자기 라스콜니코프를 응시하고 그에게서 두 걸음 떨어진 곳에서 멈췄다.

이 어리석은 반복은 그가 방문객에게 던진 진지하고, 침울하고, 수수께끼 같은 시선과 어울리지 않아 너무나 어색했다.

하지만 이것은 라스콜니코프의 비장을 그 어느 때보다 더 자극했고, 그는 아이러니하고 다소 조심성 없는 도전에 저항할 수 없었다. "말해 보세요." 그는 갑자기 물으며 거의 ​​무례하게 그를 바라보았고, 자신의 무례함에 일종의 즐거움을 느꼈다.

"모든 수사 변호사가 사소하거나 적어도 무관한 주제로 멀리서 공격을 시작하여, 그들이 교차 심문하는 사람을 격려하거나 오히려 주의를 돌리고,

그의 주의를 무장 해제한 다음, 갑자기 치명적인 질문으로 예상치 못한 넉다운 타격을 가하는 것이 일종의 법적 규칙, 일종의 법적 전통이라고 생각합니다.

그렇지 않나요? 그것은 신성한 전통이며, 모든 예술 매뉴얼에 언급되어 있다고 생각합니다."

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HAPTER V

6182p

When next morning at eleven o’clock punctually Raskolnikov went into

the department of the investigation of criminal causes and sent his name in to Porfiry Petrovitch, he was surprised at being kept waiting so long: it was at least ten minutes before he was summoned.

He had expected that they would pounce upon him. But he stood in the waiting-room, and people, who apparently had nothing to do with him, were continually passing to and fro before him. In the next room which looked like an office, several clerks were sitting writing and obviously they had no notion who or what Raskolnikov might be.   

He looked uneasily and suspiciously about him to see whether there was not some guard, some mysterious watch being kept on him to prevent his escape. But there was nothing of the sort: he saw only the faces of clerks absorbed in petty details, then other people, no one seemed to have any concern with him. He might go where he liked for them. The conviction grew stronger in him that if that enigmatic man of yesterday, that phantom sprung out of the earth, had seen everything, they would not have let him stand and wait like that.

And would they have waited till he elected to appear at eleven? Either the man had not yet given information, or... or simply he knew nothing, had seen nothing (and how could he have seen anything?) and so all that had happened to him the day before was again a phantom exaggerated by his sick and overstrained imagination. This conjecture had begun to grow strong the day before, in the midst of all his alarm and despair. Thinking it all over now and preparing for a fresh conflict, he was suddenly aware that he was trembling—and he felt a rush of indignation at the thought that he was trembling with fear at facing that hateful Porfiry Petrovitch.

What he dreaded above all was meeting that man again; he hated him with an intense, unmitigated hatred and was afraid his hatred might betray him. His indignation was such that he ceased trembling at once; he made ready to go in with a cold and arrogant bearing and vowed to himself to keep as silent as possible, to watch and listen and for once at least to control his overstrained nerves. At that moment he was summoned to Porfiry Petrovitch. He found Porfiry Petrovitch alone in his study.

His study was a room neither large nor small, furnished with a large writing-table, that stood before a sofa, upholstered in checked material, a bureau, a bookcase in the corner and several chairs—all government furniture, of polished yellow wood. In the further wall there was a closed door, beyond it there were no doubt other rooms. On Raskolnikov’s entrance Porfiry Petrovitch had at once closed the door by which he had come in and they remained alone. He met his visitor with an apparently genial and good-tempered air, and it was only after a few minutes that Raskolnikov saw signs of a certain awkwardness in him, as though he had been thrown out of his reckoning or caught in something very secret.

“Ah, my dear fellow! Here you are... in our domain”... began Porfiry, holding out both hands to him. “Come, sit down, old man... or perhaps you don’t like to be called ‘my dear fellow’ and ‘old man!’—tout court? Please don’t think it too familiar.... Here, on the sofa.” Raskolnikov sat down, keeping his eyes fixed on him. “In our domain,” the apologies for familiarity, the French phrase tout court, were all characteristic signs.

“He held out both hands to me, but he did not give me one—he drew it back in time,” struck him suspiciously. Both were watching each other, but when their eyes met, quick as lightning they looked away.

“I brought you this paper... about the watch. Here it is. Is it all right or shall I copy it again?” “What? A paper? Yes, yes, don’t be uneasy, it’s all right,” Porfiry Petrovitch said as though in haste, and after he had said it he took the paper and looked at it. “Yes, it’s all right. Nothing more is needed,” he declared with the same rapidity and he laid the paper on the table. A minute later when he was talking of something else he took it from the table and put it on his bureau. “I believe you said yesterday you would like to question me... formally... about my acquaintance with the murdered woman?” Raskolnikov was beginning again. “Why did I put in ‘I believe’” passed through his mind in a flash.

“Why am I so uneasy at having put in that ‘I believe’?” came in a second flash. And he suddenly felt that his uneasiness at the mere contact with Porfiry, at the first words, at the first looks, had grown in an instant to monstrous proportions, and that this was fearfully dangerous. His nerves were quivering, his emotion was increasing. “It’s bad, it’s bad! I shall say too much again.” “Yes, yes, yes! There’s no hurry, there’s no hurry,” muttered Porfiry Petrovitch, moving to and fro about the table without any apparent aim, as it were making dashes towards the window, the bureau and the table, at one moment avoiding Raskolnikov’s suspicious glance, then again standing still and looking him straight in the face.

His fat round little figure looked very strange, like a ball rolling from one side to the other and rebounding back. “We’ve plenty of time. Do you smoke? have you your own? Here, a cigarette!” he went on, offering his visitor a cigarette. “You know I am receiving you here, but my own quarters are through there, you know, my government quarters. But I am living outside for the time, I had to have some repairs done here. It’s almost finished now.... Government quarters, you know, are a capital thing.

Eh, what do you think?” “Yes, a capital thing,” answered Raskolnikov, looking at him almost ironically. “A capital thing, a capital thing,” repeated Porfiry Petrovitch, as though he had just thought of something quite different. “Yes, a capital thing,” he almost shouted at last, suddenly staring at Raskolnikov and stopping short two steps from him.

This stupid repetition was too incongruous in its ineptitude with the serious, brooding and enigmatic glance he turned upon his visitor.

But this stirred Raskolnikov’s spleen more than ever and he could not resist an ironical and rather incautious challenge. “Tell me, please,” he asked suddenly, looking almost insolently at him and taking a kind of pleasure in his own insolence.

“I believe it’s a sort of legal rule, a sort of legal tradition—for all investigating lawyers—to begin their attack from afar, with a trivial, or at least an irrelevant subject, so as to encourage, or rather, to divert the man they are cross-examining, to

disarm his caution and then all at once to give him an unexpected knock-down blow with some fatal question.

Isn’t that so? It’s a sacred tradition, mentioned, I fancy, in all the manuals of the art?”