PART 4 // chapter 5-2

[모나리자]

네, 네... 왜, 내가 정부 구역에 대해 말한 이유가 그것이라고 생각하세요... 응?” 그리고 그가 이렇게 말하자 포르피리 페트로비치는 눈을 찡그리고 윙크했다. 그의 얼굴에는 쾌활하고 교활한 표정이 스쳐 지나갔다. 그의 이마 주름이 매끈해지고, 눈이 수축되고, 얼굴이 넓어졌고, 그는 갑자기 긴장해서 길게 웃기 시작했고, 온몸이 떨리고 라스콜니코프를 똑바로 바라보았다.

후자도 웃으려고 애썼지만, 포르피리가 그가 웃는 것을 보고 거의 진홍색이 될 정도로 웃음을 터뜨렸을 때, 라스콜니코프의 혐오감이 모든 예방 조치를 압도했다. 그는 웃음을 멈추고, 포르피리를 노려보며 증오에 찬 눈빛으로 그를 응시했고, 의도적으로 길게 웃는 동안 눈을 그에게 고정했다. 그러나 양쪽 모두 조심성이 부족했습니다. 포르피리 페트로비치는 방문객의 얼굴에 웃음을 터뜨리고 방문객이 받은 성가심에 거의 동요하지 않는 듯했습니다.

후자의 사실은 라스콜니코프의 눈에 매우 중요했습니다. 그는 포르피리 페트로비치가 바로 전에도 당황하지 않았지만, 라스콜니코프가 함정에 빠졌을지도 모른다는 것을 알았습니다. 여기에는 그에게 알려지지 않은 무언가, 동기가 있을 것입니다. 아마도 모든 것이 준비되어 있었고 다른 순간에 그에게 닥칠 것입니다... 그는 즉시 요점으로 들어가서 자리에서 일어나 모자를 썼습니다.

"포르피리 페트로비치" 그는 단호하게 말을 시작했지만 상당히 짜증이 났습니다. "어제 당신은 내가 몇 가지 질문을 위해 당신에게 오기를 원한다고 말했습니다"(그는 "질문"이라는 단어에 특히 중점을 두었습니다). "내가 왔고, 당신이 나에게 물어볼 것이 있다면 물어보고, 그렇지 않으면 내가 물러나도록 허락해 주세요. 나는 여유 시간이 없어.... 나는 차에 치여 죽은 그 남자의 장례식에 가야 해. 너도... 그 사람에 대해 알고 있지." 그는 이렇게 덧붙인 것에 화가 났고, 자신의 분노에 더욱 짜증이 났다.

"나는 이 모든 것에 싫증이 났다, 알았지? 그리고 오래 전부터 그래 왔어. 부분적으로는 그것이 나를 아프게 만들었어. 간단히 말해서," 그는 자신의 병에 대한 문구가 여전히 어울리지 않는다고 느끼면서 소리쳤다. "간단히 말해서, 친절하게 나를 검사해 줘, 아니면 즉시 나를 가게 해. 그리고 만약 나를 검사해야 한다면, 적절한 방식으로 해! 그렇지 않으면 그렇게 하는 것을 허락하지 않을 거야. 그러니 그동안 안녕, 우리는 지금 우리를 붙잡아 둘 것이 아무것도 없는 게 분명하니까."

"맙소사! 무슨 말씀이신가요? 무슨 질문을 해야 하나요?" 포르피리 페트로비치가 어조를 바꿔서 깔깔대며 말했고, 금세 웃음을 멈추었다. "방해하지 마세요." 그는 이리저리 움직이며 라스콜니코프를 앉히려고 애썼다. "서둘러요, 서두르지 마세요, 다 헛소리예요. 아, 아니요, 마침내 저를 만나러 오셔서 정말 기쁩니다... 저는 당신을 그저 방문객으로 여깁니다. 그리고 제가 어리둥절하게 웃는 건 용서해 주세요, 로디온 로마노비치. 로디온 로마노비치? 그게 당신 이름이 맞나요?... ​​제 신경 탓이에요. 당신의 재치 있는 관찰력에 너무 간지러웠거든요. 가끔은 30분 동안 인도 고무공처럼 웃음을 터뜨립니다... 저는 종종 마비가 올까 봐 두렵습니다.

앉으세요. 앉지 않으면 화가 난 줄 알 거예요..." 라스콜니코프는 아무 말도 하지 않았다. 그는 여전히 화가 난 듯 찡그린 채로 그를 바라보며 귀를 기울였다. 그는 앉았지만 여전히 모자를 쓰고 있었다.

"나에 대해 한 가지 말씀드릴 게 있습니다, 사랑하는 로디온 로마노비치." 포르피리 페트로비치가 말을 이었다. 그는 방을 돌아다니며 다시 한번 방문객의 눈을 피했다. "보시다시피, 저는 독신이고, 중요하지 않은 사람이고, 사교에 익숙하지 않습니다. 게다가, 저는 제 앞에 아무것도 없고, 준비가 되어 있고, 씨앗을 향해 달리고 있고... 그리고 로디온 로마노비치, 우리 상트페테르부르크 서클에서 두 명의 똑똑한 남자가 만나 친밀하지는 않지만, 당신과 저처럼 서로를 존중한다면, 대화 주제를 찾는 데 30분이 걸린다는 것을 알고 계십니까? 그들은 멍청하고, 서로 마주 앉아 어색함을 느낍니다.

모든 사람에게 대화 주제가 있습니다. 예를 들어 여성도요... 상류 사회의 사람들은 항상 대화 주제가 있습니다. 이는 당연한 일이지만, 우리와 같은 중간 계층의 사람들은, 즉 생각하는 사람들은 항상 말이 없고 어색합니다. 그 이유는 무엇일까요? 대중의 관심이 부족한 건지, 아니면 우리가 너무 정직해서 서로를 속이고 싶지 않은 건지는 모르겠어. 어떻게 생각해? 모자를 내려놓아, 마치 방금 간 것 같아, 불편해... 너무 기뻐..." 라스콜니코프는 모자를 내려놓고 포르피리 페트로비치의 모호하고 공허한 수다를 진지하게 찡그린 얼굴로 침묵 속에 계속 귀를 기울였다.

"그가 정말 어리석은 수다로 내 주의를 산만하게 하려는 거야?" "여기서 커피를 제공할 수는 없지만, 친구와 5분만 보내면 어때?" 포르피리는 재잘거렸다. "그리고 당신은 이 모든 공식적인 의무를 알고 있지... 제가 이리저리 뛰어다니는 건 신경 쓰지 마, 실례해, 친구야. 당신을 화나게 하는 게 정말 두렵지만, 운동은 저에게 절대적으로 없어서는 안 될 거야.

저는 항상 앉아 있고 5분이라도 움직이는 게 너무 기뻐요... 저는 앉아서 지내는 생활에 시달려요... 저는 항상 체육관에 가입하려고 해요. 그들은

모든 계급의 공무원, 심지어 내무위원조차도 그곳에서 즐겁게 뛰어다니는 것을 볼 수 있다고 말해요. 그게 바로 현대 과학이에요... 맞아요, 맞아요... 하지만 여기서 제 의무, 심문 및 그런 모든 형식적인 절차에 관해서는... 당신도 방금 심문을 언급했어요... 저는 이런 심문이 때때로 심문을 받는 사람보다 심문을 하는 사람에게 더 당혹스러울 수 있다는 걸 확신합니다... 당신도 방금 매우 적절하고 재치 있게 그 말을 했습니다.”

(라스콜니코프는 그런 종류의 말을 하지 않았습니다.) “혼란에 빠지게 돼요! 규칙적인 혼란이에요! 드럼처럼 같은 음표를 계속 반복해요!

개혁이 있어야 하고 우리는 적어도 다른 이름으로 불릴 거예요, 하하하! 그리고 우리의 법적 전통에 관해서는, 당신이 재치 있게 불렀듯이, 저는 당신과 전적으로 동의합니다. 재판을 받는 모든 죄수, 심지어 가장 무례한 농부조차도 그들이 무의미한 질문으로 그를 무장 해제하고(당신이 아주 기쁘게 표현했듯이) 그에게 넉다운 일격을 가한다는 것을 압니다. 하하하!—당신의 행복한 비교, 하하하!

그러니까 당신은 내가 '정부 구역'이라고 말한 줄 알았군요... 하하하! 당신은 아이러니한 사람이군요. 어서요. 더 이상 말하지 않겠어요! 아, 그런데, 그렇죠! 한 단어가 다른 단어로 이어지죠. 방금 당신은 조사에 대한 형식에 대해 말했어요. 하지만 형식이 무슨 소용이겠어요?

많은 경우 그것은 말도 안 됩니다. 때로는 친근하게 대화를 나누면서 훨씬 더 많은 것을 얻을 수도 있습니다.

항상 형식에 의지할 수 있습니다. 제가 확신시켜 드리겠습니다. 그리고 결국 그것이 무슨 의미가 있겠어요? 예심 변호사는 모든 단계에서 형식에 얽매일 수 없습니다. 조사 작업은 말하자면 그 자체로 자유로운 예술입니다, 하하하!" 포르피리 페트로비치는 잠시 숨을 들이쉬었다. 그는 그저 공허한 문구를 중얼거리며, 수수께끼 같은 몇 마디를 흘리고 다시 일관성 없는 말투로 돌아갔다.

그는 거의 방 안을 뛰어다니며

뚱뚱한 작은 다리를 점점 더 빨리 움직이며, 오른손은 등 뒤에 두고, 왼손은 그의 말과 어울리지 않는 몸짓을 하며 땅을 바라보았다. 라스콜니코프는 방 안을 뛰어다니다가 마치 귀를 기울이는 듯 문 근처에서 두 번이나 잠시 멈추는 것 같다는 것을 갑자기 알아챘다.

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6235p

Yes, yes.... Why, do you imagine that was why I spoke about government quarters... eh?” And as he said this Porfiry Petrovitch screwed up his eyes and winked; a good-humoured, crafty look passed over his face. The wrinkles on his forehead were smoothed out, his eyes contracted, his features broadened and he suddenly went off into a nervous prolonged laugh, shaking all over and looking Raskolnikov straight in the face.

The latter forced himself to laugh, too, but when Porfiry, seeing that he was laughing, broke into such a guffaw that he turned almost crimson, Raskolnikov’s repulsion overcame all precaution; he left off laughing, scowled and stared with hatred at Porfiry, keeping his eyes fixed on him while his intentionally prolonged laughter lasted. There was lack of precaution on both sides, however, for Porfiry Petrovitch seemed to be laughing in his visitor’s face and to be very little disturbed at the annoyance with which the visitor received it.

The latter fact was very significant in Raskolnikov’s eyes: he saw that Porfiry Petrovitch had not been embarrassed just before either, but that he, Raskolnikov, had perhaps fallen into a trap; that there must be something, some motive here unknown to him; that, perhaps, everything was in readiness and in another moment would break upon him... He went straight to the point at once, rose from his seat and took his cap.

“Porfiry Petrovitch,” he began resolutely, though with considerable irritation, “yesterday you expressed a desire that I should come to you for some inquiries” (he laid special stress on the word “inquiries”). “I have come and if you have anything to ask me, ask it, and if not, allow me to withdraw. I have no time to spare.... I have to be at the funeral of that man who was run over, of whom you... know also,” he added, feeling angry at once at having made this addition and more irritated at his anger.

“I am sick of it all, do you hear? and have long been. It’s partly what made me ill. In short,” he shouted, feeling that the phrase about his illness was still more out of place, “in short, kindly examine me or let me go, at once. And if you must examine me, do so in the proper form! I will not allow you to do so otherwise, and so meanwhile, good-bye, as we have evidently nothing to keep us now.”

“Good heavens! What do you mean? What shall I question you about?” cackled Porfiry Petrovitch with a change of tone, instantly leaving off laughing. “Please don’t disturb yourself,” he began fidgeting from place to place and fussily making Raskolnikov sit down. “There’s no hurry, there’s no hurry, it’s all nonsense. Oh, no, I’m very glad you’ve come to see me at last... I look upon you simply as a visitor. And as for my confounded laughter, please excuse it, Rodion Romanovitch. Rodion Romanovitch? That is your name?... It’s my nerves, you tickled me so with your witty observation; I assure you, sometimes I shake with laughter like an india-rubber ball for half an hour at a time.... I’m often afraid of an attack of paralysis.

Do sit down. Please do, or I shall think you are angry...” Raskolnikov did not speak; he listened, watching him, still frowning angrily. He did sit down, but still held his cap.

“I must tell you one thing about myself, my dear Rodion Romanovitch,” Porfiry Petrovitch continued, moving about the room and again avoiding his visitor’s eyes. “You see, I’m a bachelor, a man of no consequence and not used to society; besides, I have nothing before me, I’m set, I’m running to seed and... and have you noticed, Rodion Romanovitch, that in our Petersburg circles, if two clever men meet who are not intimate, but respect each other, like you and me, it takes them half an hour before they can find a subject for conversation—they are dumb, they sit opposite each other and feel awkward.

Everyone has subjects of conversation, ladies for instance... people in high society always have their subjects of conversation, c’est de rigueur, but people of the middle sort like us, thinking people that is, are always tongue-tied and awkward. What is the reason of it? Whether it is the lack of public interest, or whether it is we are so honest we don’t want to deceive one another, I don’t know. What do you think? Do put down your cap, it looks as if you were just going, it makes me uncomfortable... I am so delighted...” Raskolnikov put down his cap and continued listening in silence with a serious frowning face to the vague and empty chatter of Porfiry Petrovitch.

“Does he really want to distract my attention with his silly babble?” “I can’t offer you coffee here; but why not spend five minutes with a friend?” Porfiry pattered on, “and you know all these official duties... please don’t mind my running up and down, excuse it, my dear fellow, I am very much afraid of offending you, but exercise is absolutely indispensable for me.

I’m always sitting and so glad to be moving about for five minutes... I suffer from my sedentary life... I always intend to join a gymnasium; they

say that officials of all ranks, even Privy Councillors, may be seen skipping gaily there; there you have it, modern science... yes, yes.... But as for my duties here, inquiries and all such formalities... you mentioned inquiries yourself just now... I assure you these interrogations are sometimes more embarrassing for the interrogator than for the interrogated.... You made the observation yourself just now very aptly and wittily.”

(Raskolnikov had made no observation of the kind.) “One gets into a muddle! A regular muddle! One keeps harping on the same note, like a drum!

There is to be a reform and we shall be called by a different name, at least, he-he-he! And as for our legal tradition, as you so wittily called it, I thoroughly agree with you. Every prisoner on trial, even the rudest peasant, knows that they begin by disarming him with irrelevant questions (as you so happily put it) and then deal him a knock-down blow, he-he-he!—your felicitous comparison, he-he!

So you really imagined that I meant by ‘government quarters’... he-he! You are an ironical person. Come. I won’t go on! Ah, by the way, yes! One word leads to another. You spoke of formality just now, apropos of the inquiry, you know. But what’s the use of formality?

In many cases it’s nonsense. Sometimes one has a friendly chat and gets a good deal more out of it.

One can always fall back on formality, allow me to assure you. And after all, what does it amount to? An examining lawyer cannot be bounded by formality at every step. The work of investigation is, so to speak, a free art in its own way, he-he-he!” Porfiry Petrovitch took breath a moment. He had simply babbled on uttering empty phrases, letting slip a few enigmatic words and again reverting to incoherence.

He was almost running about the room, moving

his fat little legs quicker and quicker, looking at the ground, with his right hand behind his back, while with his left making gesticulations that were extraordinarily incongruous with his words. Raskolnikov suddenly noticed that as he ran about the room he seemed twice to stop for a moment near the door, as though he were listening.