The First Time Loving Jesus

[Anemone]

A little over a month ago, I was talking to my father-in-law, as I often do—for advice, encouragement, or simply because I enjoy our conversations. I told him that I wished I could love Jesus the way some people do—the kind of love I’ve seen in YouTube testimonies and guest speakers at church. They talk about Jesus with their eyes welling up in tears, and I wondered, How can anyone love someone so deeply that their tears start to roll down?

My father-in-law answered gently, “You already love Jesus—with tears.” Then he asked, “Don’t you love your children and would do anything for them?”
“Yes,” I replied.

He continued, “Even though you love your children very much, not every moment requires tears or intense emotion. It’s the same with loving Jesus. Not every moment needs to be tearful or deeply emotional.”

Although I saw his valid point, I wasn’t fully satisfied.

Weeks passed, and during my summer break from work, I had more time to read the Bible, pray privately, and listen to sermons—more than usual. Maybe it was the time off, or maybe it was something deeper, but I felt an intense longing to know Jesus more and to follow Him. I even confessed this to YouAreMyAngel over the phone one evening. I began to wonder, Maybe this is what it means to really love Jesus?

But it wasn’t until about a week ago that the Holy Spirit revealed something deeply personal to me.

I was in the kitchen making breakfast and packing lunch for my kids when I got a text from my dad, who lives nearby. He asked when I’d be coming to pick up some baked sweet purple yams and steamed pumpkin. He said he’d wait so he could hand them to me himself. But I knew I’d be running late, and since he often visits friends in the morning, I messaged back telling him not to wait for me—that I’d just pick it up later. He responded with a simple “Okay.”

Then something nudged me to send one more message:
“Have a good day. I love you.”

Those three words—I love you—were rarely spoken in my home growing up. I don’t remember saying them much to my parents, and they didn’t say them much to me. But don’t get me wrong: my parents were exceptionally loving and caring. I have beautiful childhood memories because of their presence and sacrifice. Still, the words “I love you” weren’t often expressed out loud. I may have said them a few times in the past, but only because a pastor encouraged me to.

Honestly, when I typed “I love you” to my dad, it wasn’t with full willingness. I felt a little embarrassed. But I thought, I want to love my dad more, and I don’t say this enough. So let me type it, even if it feels awkward.

And when I did, tears began to fall. I was still in the kitchen, making sandwiches for my kids, crying quietly as I packed their lunches. In the midst of the tears, the Holy Spirit whispered to me:

“Finally, now, you love Jesus. Up until now, you were loved by Jesus—but you hadn’t yet loved Him back. But today, you love Jesus.”

I had no idea that loving my earthly father was also a way of loving Jesus. All this time, I’d received so much from my dad but hadn’t shown him much love in return. I felt a bit of remorse—as a grown woman and a mother, shouldn’t I already know how to love my dad? But still, this was my opportunity.

Maybe it seems small or even cowardly to say “I love you” to my dad through a text message. But for me, that was enough for the Spirit to move deeply within me and help me recognize something incredible: I now love Jesus.

All this time—reading the Bible, attending early morning prayers, listening to sermons, going to HODAH meetings, saying “I love you” to HODAH members (sometimes awkwardly), and even giving money to the homeless—I thought those things were how I was loving Jesus. But now I know: those weren’t it.

The revelation hit me hard.

To love the Heavenly Father means to love my earthly father.

And in some ways, it’s easy—because I already love my dad in my heart. But now, it’s time to show it. It’s time to express that love more openly, so that my Heavenly Father may be loved through those actions as well.

Now, I finally have a testimony where I can say:
“I love Jesus—with tears.”

But I know this is just the beginning. As I grow spiritually, I know I’ll have more and greater opportunities to love both my dad—and my Dad—with even deeper love.

[timothykim]

Hallelujah!

“To love the Heavenly Father means to love my earthly father” amen!

You’ve truly loved your both dads in your heart with tears already.
I can see your expression of Jesus love to everybody more and more.

It was really glad to see your dad’s big smiles and hugs to everyone through your love yesterday.

Thank you for your sharing and testimony.

Many loves and blessings!

[You are my angel Dasom]

Your Daddy's Wave testimony continues on here
How wonderful it is to see your relationship
You and 싱글벙글
You and Jesus
You and me