PART 4 // chapter 6-1

[모나리자]

그가 나중에 그 장면을 떠올렸을 때, 라스콜니코프는 그것을 이렇게 보았습니다.

문 뒤에서 소리가 커졌고, 갑자기 문이 약간 열렸습니다. "무슨 일이에요?" 포르피리 페트로비치가 짜증을 내며 소리쳤습니다. "왜요, 제가 명령을 내렸어요..." 잠시 동안 대답이 없었지만, 문 앞에 여러 사람이 있고, 누군가를 밀어내고 있는 것이 분명했습니다. "무슨 일이에요?" 포르피리 페트로비치가 불안하게 반복했습니다. "죄수 니콜라이가 끌려왔어요." 누군가가 대답했습니다. "그는 원치 않아요! 데려가세요! 기다리게 하세요! 여기서 뭘 하는 거예요? 얼마나 이상한데요!" 포르피리가 소리치며 문으로 달려갔습니다. "하지만 그는..." 같은 목소리가 시작되었고, 갑자기 멈췄습니다.

2초가 채 지나지 않아 실제로 몸싸움을 한 후, 누군가가 격렬하게 밀었고, 매우 창백한 남자가 방으로 들어왔습니다. 이 남자의 모습은 첫눈에 매우 이상했습니다. 그는 아무것도 보지 못하는 듯 바로 앞을 응시했습니다. 그의 눈에는 단호한 빛이 번쩍였다. 동시에 그의 얼굴에는 마치 단두대로 끌려가는 것처럼 죽음의 창백함이 있었다. 그의 하얀 입술이 희미하게 꿈틀거렸다. 그는 노동자처럼 차려입었고 중간 키에 매우 젊고 날씬했으며, 머리카락은 둥글게 자르고 가늘고 늘씬한 모습이었다.

그가 뒤로 밀어낸 남자가 그를 따라 방으로 들어와 어깨를 잡는 데 성공했다. 그는 간수였다. 하지만 니콜라이는 그의 팔을 잡아당겼다. 여러 사람이 호기심에 차서 문으로 몰려들었다. 그들 중 일부는 들어가려고 했다. 이 모든 일이 거의 순식간에 일어났다. "가버려, 너무 이르다! 불러올 때까지 기다려!... 왜 그렇게 빨리 데려왔어?" 포르피리 페트로비치가 극도로 짜증이 나서 중얼거렸고, 마치 그의 계산에서 벗어난 것처럼 보였다. 하지만 니콜라이는 갑자기 무릎을 꿇었다. "무슨 일이야?" 포르피리가 놀라서 소리쳤다. "내가 죄가 있어! 내 죄가 있어!" "저는 살인자입니다." 니콜라이가 갑자기 숨을 헐떡이며 큰 소리로 말했다.

마치 모든 사람이 말을 잃은 것처럼 10초 동안 침묵이 흘렀다. 간수조차 뒤로 물러나 기계적으로 문으로 물러나 움직이지 않고 서 있었다. "무슨 일입니까?" 포르피리 페트로비치가 잠깐의 멍한 상태에서 깨어나 소리쳤다. "저는... 살인자입니다." 니콜라이가 잠시 멈춘 후 다시 말했다. "뭐... 당신... 뭐... 누구를 죽였습니까?" 포르피리 페트로비치는 분명히 당황했다. 니콜라이는 다시 잠시 침묵했다. "알료나 이바노브나와 그녀의 여동생 리자베타 이바노브나를... 도끼로 죽였습니다. 어둠이 나를 덮쳤습니다." 그는 갑자기 덧붙여 말했고 다시 침묵했다.

그는 여전히 무릎을 꿇고 있었다. 포르피리 페트로비치는 잠시 명상하듯 서 있었지만 갑자기 일어나서 초대받지 않은 구경꾼들을 손짓했다. 그들은 즉시 사라지고 문을 닫았다. 그러고 나서 그는 구석에 서서 니콜라이를 맹렬히 응시하고 있던 라스콜니코프를 바라보았고, 그에게 다가갔지만, 갑자기 멈추고, 니콜라이에서 라스콜니코프로, 그리고 다시 니콜라이를 바라보았고, 자신을 제지할 수 없는 듯 후자에게 달려들었다.

"너무 서두르잖아." 그는 거의 화가 난 듯이 그에게 소리쳤다.

"무슨 생각이 들었는지는 묻지 않았어... 말해, 죽였어?" "내가 살인자야... 증거를 제시하고 싶어." 니콜라이가 말했다. "아악! 뭐로 죽였어?" "도끼야. 준비해 놓았어." "아악, 서두르고 있잖아! 혼자?" 니콜라이는 질문을 이해하지 못했다. "혼자서 죽였어?" "네, 혼자야. 그리고 미트카는 무죄고 아무런 관련이 없어." "미트카 때문에 서두르지 마! 아악! 그때 왜 그렇게 아래층으로 달려갔어? 짐꾼들이 너희 둘을 만났잖아!" "그들이 냄새 맡지 못하게 하려고 그랬어... 미트카를 쫓아갔어." 니콜라이가 서둘러 대답했다. 마치 대답을 준비해 놓은 듯. "알았어!" 포르피리가 짜증을 내며 소리쳤다.

"그가 하는 이야기는 자기 이야기가 아니야." 그는 마치 자신에게 말하듯 중얼거렸고, 갑자기 그의 눈은 다시 라스콜니코프에게 머물렀다. 그는 니콜라이에게 너무 빠져서 잠시 라스콜니코프를 잊었던 모양이다. 그는 약간 당황했다. "친애하는 로디온 로마노비치, 실례합니다!" 그는 그에게 달려가서 말했다. "이게 안 됩니다. 가야 합니다... 머물러도 소용없어요... 저는... 보다시피, 얼마나 놀라운 일인가!... 안녕!" 그리고 그는 그의 팔을 잡고 문으로 안내했다. "당신은 예상하지 못했을 겁니다." 라스콜니코프는 상황을 완전히 파악하지는 못했지만 용기를 되찾았다.

"당신도 예상하지 못했을 겁니다, 친구. 손이 떨리는 걸 보세요! 하하하!" "당신도 떨고 있군요, 포르피리 페트로비치!" "그래요, 저도 떨고 있어요. 예상하지 못했어요." 그들은 이미 문 앞에 있었다. 포르피리는 라스콜니코프가 떠나기를 고대했다. "그리고 당신의 작은 놀라움, 그것을 나에게 보여주지 않을 건가요?" 라스콜니코프가 비꼬는 듯이 말했다. "이봐, 그는 물어볼 때 이를 갈고 있어, 하하하! 넌 아이러니한 사람이야! 만날 때까지 와!" "안녕이라고 말할 수 있을 거라고 믿어!" "그건 신의 손에 달려 있어." 포르피리가 부자연스러운 미소를 지으며 중얼거렸다.

라스콜니코프는 사무실을 지나가면서 많은 사람이 자신을 바라보고 있다는 것을 알아챘다. 그중에는 그날 밤 경찰서에 초대했던 집에서 온 두 명의 짐꾼이 있었다. 그들은 그곳에서 기다리고 있었다. 하지만 그는 계단에 오르자마자 뒤에서 포르피리 페트로비치의 목소리가 들렸다. 뒤돌아보니 후자가 숨가쁘게 자신을 쫓아왔다. "한 마디만 해, 로디온 로마노비치. 나머지는 신의 손에 달려 있어. 하지만 형식적으로 몇 가지 질문을 해야 할 것 같아... 그럼 다시 만날 수 있을 거야, 그렇지?" 포르피리는 움직이지 않고 미소를 지으며 그를 마주보았다. "그렇지?" 그는 다시 덧붙였다.

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CHAPTER VI

6486p

When he remembered the scene afterwards, this is how Raskolnikov saw it.

The noise behind the door increased, and suddenly the door was opened a little. “What is it?” cried Porfiry Petrovitch, annoyed. “Why, I gave orders...” For an instant there was no answer, but it was evident that there were several persons at the door, and that they were apparently pushing somebody back. “What is it?” Porfiry Petrovitch repeated, uneasily. “The prisoner Nikolay has been brought,” someone answered. “He is not wanted! Take him away! Let him wait! What’s he doing here? How irregular!” cried Porfiry, rushing to the door. “But he...” began the same voice, and suddenly ceased.

Two seconds, not more, were spent in actual struggle, then someone gave a violent shove, and then a man, very pale, strode into the room. This man’s appearance was at first sight very strange. He stared straight before him, as though seeing nothing. There was a determined gleam in his eyes; at the same time there was a deathly pallor in his face, as though he were being led to the scaffold. His white lips were faintly twitching. He was dressed like a workman and was of medium height, very young, slim, his hair cut in round crop, with thin spare features.

The man whom he had thrust back followed him into the room and succeeded in seizing him by the shoulder; he was a warder; but Nikolay pulled his arm away. Several persons crowded inquisitively into the doorway. Some of them tried to get in. All this took place almost instantaneously. “Go away, it’s too soon! Wait till you are sent for!... Why have you brought him so soon?” Porfiry Petrovitch muttered, extremely annoyed, and as it were thrown out of his reckoning. But Nikolay suddenly knelt down. “What’s the matter?” cried Porfiry, surprised. “I am guilty! Mine is the sin! I am the murderer,” Nikolay articulated suddenly, rather breathless, but speaking fairly loudly.

For ten seconds there was silence as though all had been struck dumb; even the warder stepped back, mechanically retreated to the door, and stood immovable. “What is it?” cried Porfiry Petrovitch, recovering from his momentary stupefaction. “I... am the murderer,” repeated Nikolay, after a brief pause. “What... you... what... whom did you kill?” Porfiry Petrovitch was obviously bewildered. Nikolay again was silent for a moment. “Alyona Ivanovna and her sister Lizaveta Ivanovna, I... killed... with an axe. Darkness came over me,” he added suddenly, and was again silent.

He still remained on his knees. Porfiry Petrovitch stood for some moments as though meditating, but suddenly roused himself and waved back the uninvited spectators. They instantly vanished and closed the door. Then he looked towards Raskolnikov, who was standing in the corner, staring wildly at Nikolay and moved towards him, but stopped short, looked from Nikolay to Raskolnikov and then again at Nikolay, and seeming unable to restrain himself darted at the latter.

“You’re in too great a hurry,” he shouted at him, almost angrily.

“I didn’t ask you what came over you.... Speak, did you kill them?” “I am the murderer.... I want to give evidence,” Nikolay pronounced. “Ach! What did you kill them with?” “An axe. I had it ready.” “Ach, he is in a hurry! Alone?” Nikolay did not understand the question. “Did you do it alone?” “Yes, alone. And Mitka is not guilty and had no share in it.” “Don’t be in a hurry about Mitka! A-ach! How was it you ran downstairs like that at the time? The porters met you both!” “It was to put them off the scent... I ran after Mitka,” Nikolay replied hurriedly, as though he had prepared the answer. “I knew it!” cried Porfiry, with vexation.

“It’s not his own tale he is telling,” he muttered as though to himself, and suddenly his eyes rested on Raskolnikov again. He was apparently so taken up with Nikolay that for a moment he had forgotten Raskolnikov. He was a little taken aback. “My dear Rodion Romanovitch, excuse me!” he flew up to him, “this won’t do; I’m afraid you must go... it’s no good your staying... I will... you see, what a surprise!... Good-bye!” And taking him by the arm, he showed him to the door. “I suppose you didn’t expect it?” said Raskolnikov who, though he had not yet fully grasped the situation, had regained his courage.

“You did not expect it either, my friend. See how your hand is trembling! He-he!” “You’re trembling, too, Porfiry Petrovitch!” “Yes, I am; I didn’t expect it.” They were already at the door; Porfiry was impatient for Raskolnikov to be gone. “And your little surprise, aren’t you going to show it to me?” Raskolnikov said, sarcastically. “Why, his teeth are chattering as he asks, he-he! You are an ironical person! Come, till we meet!” “I believe we can say good-bye!” “That’s in God’s hands,” muttered Porfiry, with an unnatural smile.

As he walked through the office, Raskolnikov noticed that many people were looking at him. Among them he saw the two porters from the house, whom he had invited that night to the police station. They stood there waiting. But he was no sooner on the stairs than he heard the voice of Porfiry Petrovitch behind him. Turning round, he saw the latter running after him, out of breath. “One word, Rodion Romanovitch; as to all the rest, it’s in God’s hands, but as a matter of form there are some questions I shall have to ask you... so we shall meet again, shan’t we?” And Porfiry stood still, facing him with a smile. “Shan’t we?” he added again.