Dear Annie: I am so upset right now I can hardly type. Last night, there was a message on my answering machine from a salesperson. It said, "Hi. This is Mike, and I got a message that "Tyler" called requesting information." Annie, Tyler is my 14-year-old son who died last year.
I phoned the salesman back. To his credit, he did apologize. However, I am terribly upset by the practice of stating that Tyler had called requesting information when, obviously, his name was pulled off some list. We have worked hard on our grief journey to be able to function normally, and this was a horrible intrusion.
Salespeople cannot possibly know what is going on in my home. If companies are going to make these cold calls in an effort to sell something, they should NOT use a name from a consumer list they purchased from heaven knows where. Thanks for letting this mom vent. -- Grieving in Kansas
Dear Grieving: Our hearts are breaking for you. Some telemarketers believe using a person"s name will lure the customer into talking, and possibly buying. Unfortunately, as you have pointed out, such a tactic can backfire. We hope those companies will read your letter carefully, and cease and desist.
1> Have you ever received a call from salespersons or telemarketers? If so, please tell us which item they sell, your reply to them and etc.
2> If you were the writer in Kansas, what might you do?
3> If you were scouted as a telemarketers with very huge pay, would you accept that proposal?
DEAR ABBY : I need advice. I am a woman in my mid-30s, married more than 10 years, and the mother of two children. My husband, "Howard", is a good father and has an important job with a six-figure income. I don't have to work. I buy whatever I want and Howard doesn't mind.
My problem is I don't think I'm in love with Howard. He has an extremely low sex drive. We haven't been intimate in years. In fact, out of frustration, I moved out of the bedroom last year. I have tired talking to him about our problem to no avail. He refuses to go to counseling.
To complicate matters, three years ago I began an affair with a married man. Although he and his wife have children, they are divorcing. We want to be together, but I don't know if I can leave Howard. My lover earns less than half of what Howard makes, plus he will have to pay child support. I don't know if I can manage on his salary. Please understand, I don't want to put my kids in day care.
As I see it, I have three choices : (1) Continue the affair and hope nobody finds out. (2) Leave Howard and hope my lover and I can make it on his small salary. (3) End the affair. If we end the affair, I think one of us would have to move. We live in a small town and travel in the same social circles. This whole thing is driving me crazy. What should I do? ---- FRUSTRATED IN FLORIDA
DEAR FRUSTRATED : In a nutshell, it comes down to this : Which is more important to you -- sex or money? Both are powerful motivators, but only you can answer that question.
*DISCUSSION:
1. If you were her, what will you choose?
2. What do you think which is the most important factors for getting married?
3. Do you have any boyfriend who want to get married you? If your lover does not want to get married you, do you go out with your lover continuously