PART 4 // chapter 7-2

[모나리자]

안드레이 세묘노비치가 그를 괴롭혔던 모든 교리, 사상, 체계는 그에게는 전혀 흥미가 없었다. 그는 자신만의 목표가 있었다. 그는 여기서 무슨 일이 일어나고 있는지 한 번에 알아내고 싶었을 뿐이다. 이 사람들에게 힘이 있었는가? 그가 두려워할 것이 있었는가? 그들이 그의 사업을 폭로할까? 그리고 지금 그들의 공격의 대상은 정확히 무엇인가? 그들이 정말 강력하다면 어떻게든 화해하고 그들을 피할 수 있을까? 이것이 해야 할 일인가 아닌가? 그는 그들을 통해 무언가를 얻을 수 없었는가? 사실 수백 가지의 의문이 제기되었다.

안드레이 세묘노비치는 빈혈에 시달리는 괴로운 작은 남자였고, 이상하게도 연한 양고기 콧수염을 가지고 있었고 그것을 매우 자랑스러워했다. 그는 사무원이었고 거의 항상 눈에 이상이 있었다. 그는 다소 마음이 약했지만 자신감이 넘쳤고 때로는 말이 매우 거만해서 그의 작은 체구와 어울리지 않는 터무니없는 효과가 있었다. 그는 아말리아 이바노브나가 가장 존경하는 숙박객 중 한 명이었습니다. 그는 술을 마시지 않았고 숙박비를 정기적으로 지불했기 때문입니다.

안드레이 세묘노비치는 정말 어리석었습니다. 그는 열정으로 진보와 "우리 젊은 세대"의 대의에 매달렸습니다. 그는 반쯤은 임신 중절을 한, 거만하고 반쯤은 교육받은 멍청이들로 이루어진 수많은 다양한 무리 중 한 명이었습니다. 그들은 유행에 가장 잘 맞는 생각에 매달리지만 그것을 저속하게 만들고, 아무리 진지하게 봉사하더라도 그들이 섬기는 모든 대의를 희화화합니다. 레베지아트니코프는 성격이 매우 좋았지만, 그 역시 표트르 페트로비치를 싫어하기 시작했습니다. 이것은 양쪽에서 무의식적으로 일어났습니다.

안드레이 세묘노비치가 아무리 단순하더라도 그는 표트르 페트로비치가 자신을 속이고 비밀리에 멸시하고 있으며 "그는 올바른 사람이 아니다"는 것을 깨닫기 시작했습니다. 그는 그에게 푸리에의 체계와 다윈의 이론을 설명하려고 했지만, 최근 표트르 페트로비치는 너무 비꼬는 듯이 듣기 시작했고 심지어 무례하기까지 했습니다. 사실 그는 레베지아트니코프가 그저 평범한 바보가 아니라, 아마도 거짓말쟁이일 것이라고 본능적으로 추측하기 시작했고, 자신의 서클에서도 중요한 인맥이 없었고, 그저 간접적으로 정보를 얻었을 뿐이며, 자신의 선전 작업에 대해서도 잘 알지 못했을 가능성이 매우 높았습니다. 그는 너무 혼란스러웠기 때문입니다.

그는 누구에게나 훌륭한 사람이 될 것입니다! 그런데 표트르 페트로비치는 그 열흘 동안 안드레이 세묘노비치로부터 가장 이상한 칭찬을 기꺼이 받아들였습니다. 예를 들어, 안드레이 세묘노비치가 새로운 "공동체"의 설립에 기여할 준비가 되어 있다고 칭찬하거나, 미래의 자녀에게 세례를 주지 않거나, 두니아가 결혼한 지 한 달 만에 연인을 데려가도 양보하는 등의 말을 했을 때 그는 항의하지 않았습니다. 표트르 페트로비치는 자신의 칭찬을 듣는 것을 너무나 좋아해서, 누군가가 자신에게 그런 미덕이 있다고 말했을 때조차도 경멸하지 않았습니다.

표트르 페트로비치는 그날 아침 5퍼센트 채권을 실현할 기회가 있었고, 이제 그는 테이블에 앉아 지폐 뭉치를 세었다. 거의 돈이 없었던 안드레이 세묘노비치는 방 안을 돌아다니며 그 모든 지폐를 무관심하고 심지어 경멸하는 표정으로 바라보는 척했다. 표트르 페트로비치가 안드레이 세묘노비치가 돈을 정말 감동받지 않고 바라볼 수 있다고 확신할 수 있는 사람은 아무도 없었고, 후자는 표트르 페트로비치가 자신에 대해 그런 생각을 할 수 있다고 계속 비통하게 생각했고,

아마도 자신의 젊은 친구에게 자신의 열등함과 그들 사이의 큰 차이를 상기시켜 놀릴 기회가 생겨서 기뻤을 것이다.

그는 안드레이 세묘노비치가 가장 좋아하는 주제인 새로운 특별한 "공동체"의 기초에 대해 확대 설명했지만, 그가 엄청나게 주의가 산만하고 짜증이 난다는 것을 알았다. 계산대에 구슬이 딸각거리는 사이에 표트르 페트로비치가 한 짧은 발언은 틀림없고 무례한 아이러니를 드러냈다. 하지만 "인도적인" 안드레이 세묘노비치는 표트르 페트로비치의 불쾌한 태도를 두니아와의 최근 불화에 기인했고, 그 주제에 대해 이야기하는 데 참을성이 없었다. 그는 그 주제에 대해 진보적인 말을 할 수 있었고, 그것은 그의 훌륭한 친구를 위로할 수 있었고 그의 발전을 촉진하는 데 "실패할 수 없었다".

"그곳에서 어떤 종류의 축제가 준비되고 있어요... 미망인 집에서요, 그렇지 않나요?" 표트르 페트로비치가 갑자기 물었고, 가장 흥미로운 대목에서 안드레이 세묘노비치의 말을 가로채었다. "왜, 몰라요? 왜요, 저는 어젯밤에 그런 모든 의식에 대해 제가 생각하는 바를 말씀드렸잖아요. 그리고 그녀도 당신을 초대했다고 들었어요. 어제 그녀하고 얘기했잖아..." "저 거지 같은 바보가 다른 바보, 라스콜니코프에게서 받은 돈을 이 잔치에 다 썼다고는 생각지도 못했어.

방금 도착했을 때, 준비물과 와인을 보고 놀랐어! 여러 사람이 초대되었어. 정말 최고야!" 표트르 페트로비치가 말을 이었다. 그는 대화를 계속하는 데 어떤 이의가 있는 듯했다. "뭐? 나도 초대받았다고? 언제였지? 기억이 안 나. 하지만 가지 않을 거야. 왜 가야 하지? 어제 그녀에게 잠깐 말했을 뿐이야.

정부 서기의 가난한 과부로서 1년치 급여를 받을 가능성에 대해서. 그녀가 나를 초대한 거겠지? 하하하!" "나도 갈 생각이 없어." 레베지아트니코프가 말했다. "그녀를 때려눕힌 뒤에는 가지 않을 거야! 주저할 수도 있을 거야, 하하하!" "누가 때렸어? 누구?" 레베지아트니코프가 당황하고 얼굴을 붉히며 소리쳤다. "왜, 당신은 한 달 전에 카테리나 이바노브나를 때렸잖아요.

어제 그렇게 들었어요... 그러니까 당신의 신념이 그런 거였군요... 그리고 그 여자에 대한 질문도 그다지 타당하지 않았어요, 하하하!" 그리고 표트르 페트로비치는 마치 위안을 받은 듯 다시 구슬을 똑딱거렸습니다. "모두 중상모략과 헛소리에요!" 항상 그 주제에 대한 암시를 두려워하던 레베지아트니코프가 소리쳤습니다.

"전혀 그렇지 않았어요. 전혀 달랐어요. 당신은 잘못 들었어요. 명예 훼손이에요. 저는 그저 제 자신을 변호했을 뿐이에요. 그녀가 먼저 손톱으로 저를 향해 달려들었고, 제 수염을 다 뽑아냈어요.... 누구나 자신을 변호하는 것은 허용할 수 있고, 저는 원칙적으로 누군가가 저에게 폭력을 행사하는 것을 결코 허용하지 않습니다. 그것은 전제주의 행위이기 때문입니다. 저는 어떻게 해야 할까요? 저는 그냥 그녀를 밀어냈을 뿐이에요." "하하하!" 루진은 악의적으로 웃으며 계속 말했습니다.

"당신은 당신 자신이 유머 감각이 없어서 계속 그러는 거야... 하지만 그건 말도 안 되는 소리고, 여자 문제와는 전혀 상관없어! 당신은 이해하지 못하겠지; 나는 사실, 만약 여성이 모든 면에서, 심지어 힘에 있어서도 (지금은 주장하는 대로) 남성과 동등하다면, 그 면에서도 평등해야 한다고 생각했어. 물론, 나는 나중에 그런

문제가 실제로 생겨서는 안 된다고 생각했는데, 싸움이 있어서는 안 되고 미래 사회에서는 싸움이 생각할 수 없는 일이기 때문이고... 싸움에서 평등을 추구하는 것은 이상한 일이기 때문이야. 나는 그렇게 멍청하지 않아... 물론 싸움은 있지만... 나중에는 없을 테지만, 지금은 있어... 혼란스럽잖아! 얼마나 혼란스러운지!

내가 가지 않는 건 그런 이유 때문이 아니야. 나는 원칙에 따라 가지 않을 거야. 추모 만찬이라는 역겨운 대회에 참여하지 않기 위해서야! 물론, 누군가는 그것을 비웃을지도 모르지만.... 신부가 없어서 미안합니다. 신부가 있다면 꼭 가야겠어요."
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All the doctrines, the ideas, the systems, with which Andrey Semyonovitch pestered him had no interest for him. He had his own object—he simply wanted to find out at once what was happening here. Had these people any power or not? Had he anything to fear from them? Would they expose any enterprise of his? And what precisely was now the object of their attacks? Could he somehow make up to them and get round them if they really were powerful? Was this the thing to do or not? Couldn’t he gain something through them? In fact hundreds of questions presented themselves.

Andrey Semyonovitch was an anæmic, scrofulous little man, with strangely flaxen mutton-chop whiskers of which he was very proud. He was a clerk and had almost always something wrong with his eyes. He was rather soft-hearted, but self-confident and sometimes extremely conceited in speech, which had an absurd effect, incongruous with his little figure. He was one of the lodgers most respected by Amalia Ivanovna, for he did not get drunk and paid regularly for his lodgings.

Andrey Semyonovitch really was rather stupid; he attached himself to the cause of progress and “our younger generation” from enthusiasm. He was one of the numerous and varied legion of dullards, of half-animate abortions, conceited, half-educated coxcombs, who attach themselves to the idea most in fashion only to vulgarise it and who caricature every cause they serve, however sincerely. Though Lebeziatnikov was so good-natured, he, too, was beginning to dislike Pyotr Petrovitch. This happened on both sides unconsciously.

However simple Andrey Semyonovitch might be, he began to see that Pyotr Petrovitch was duping him and secretly despising him, and that “he was not the right sort of man.” He had tried expounding to him the system of Fourier and the Darwinian theory, but of late Pyotr Petrovitch began to listen too sarcastically and even to be rude. The fact was he had begun instinctively to guess that Lebeziatnikov was not merely a commonplace simpleton, but, perhaps, a liar, too, and that he had no connections of any consequence even in his own circle, but had simply picked things up third-hand; and that very likely he did not even know much about his own work of propaganda, for he was in too great a muddle.

A fine person he would be to show anyone up! It must be noted, by the way, that Pyotr Petrovitch had during those ten days eagerly accepted the strangest praise from Andrey Semyonovitch; he had not protested, for instance, when Andrey Semyonovitch belauded him for being ready to contribute to the establishment of the new “commune,” or to abstain from christening his future children, or to acquiesce if Dounia were to take a lover a month after marriage, and so on. Pyotr Petrovitch so enjoyed hearing his own praises that he did not disdain even such virtues when they were attributed to him.

Pyotr Petrovitch had had occasion that morning to realise some five-per-cent bonds and now he sat down to the table and counted over bundles of notes. Andrey Semyonovitch who hardly ever had any money walked about the room pretending to himself to look at all those bank notes with indifference and even contempt. Nothing would have convinced Pyotr Petrovitch that Andrey Semyonovitch could really look on the money unmoved, and the latter, on his side, kept thinking bitterly that Pyotr Petrovitch was capable of entertaining such an idea about him and was,

perhaps, glad of the opportunity of teasing his young friend by reminding him of his inferiority and the great difference between them.

He found him incredibly inattentive and irritable, though he, Andrey Semyonovitch, began enlarging on his favourite subject, the foundation of a new special “commune.” The brief remarks that dropped from Pyotr Petrovitch between the clicking of the beads on the reckoning frame betrayed unmistakable and discourteous irony. But the “humane” Andrey Semyonovitch ascribed Pyotr Petrovitch’s ill-humour to his recent breach with Dounia and he was burning with impatience to discourse on that theme. He had something progressive to say on the subject which might console his worthy friend and “could not fail” to promote his development.

“There is some sort of festivity being prepared at that... at the widow’s, isn’t there?” Pyotr Petrovitch asked suddenly, interrupting Andrey Semyonovitch at the most interesting passage. “Why, don’t you know? Why, I was telling you last night what I think about all such ceremonies. And she invited you too, I heard. You were talking to her yesterday...” “I should never have expected that beggarly fool would have spent on this feast all the money she got from that other fool, Raskolnikov.

I was surprised just now as I came through at the preparations there, the wines! Several people are invited. It’s beyond everything!” continued Pyotr Petrovitch, who seemed to have some object in pursuing the conversation. “What? You say I am asked too? When was that? I don’t remember. But I shan’t go. Why should I? I only said a word to her in passing yesterday of

the possibility of her obtaining a year’s salary as a destitute widow of a government clerk. I suppose she has invited me on that account, hasn’t she? He-he-he!” “I don’t intend to go either,” said Lebeziatnikov. “I should think not, after giving her a thrashing! You might well hesitate, he-he!” “Who thrashed? Whom?” cried Lebeziatnikov, flustered and blushing. “Why, you thrashed Katerina Ivanovna a month ago.

I heard so yesterday... so that’s what your convictions amount to... and the woman question, too, wasn’t quite sound, he-he-he!” and Pyotr Petrovitch, as though comforted, went back to clicking his beads. “It’s all slander and nonsense!” cried Lebeziatnikov, who was always afraid of allusions to the subject.

“It was not like that at all, it was quite different. You’ve heard it wrong; it’s a libel. I was simply defending myself. She rushed at me first with her nails, she pulled out all my whiskers.... It’s permissable for anyone, I should hope, to defend himself and I never allow anyone to use violence to me on principle, for it’s an act of despotism. What was I to do? I simply pushed her back.” “He-he-he!” Luzhin went on laughing maliciously.

“You keep on like that because you are out of humour yourself.... But that’s nonsense and it has nothing, nothing whatever to do with the woman question! You don’t understand; I used to think, indeed, that if women are equal to men in all respects, even in strength (as is maintained now) there ought to be equality in that, too. Of course, I reflected afterwards that such

a question ought not really to arise, for there ought not to be fighting and in the future society fighting is unthinkable... and that it would be a queer thing to seek for equality in fighting. I am not so stupid... though, of course, there is fighting... there won’t be later, but at present there is... confound it! How muddled one gets with you!

It’s not on that account that I am not going. I am not going on principle, not to take part in the revolting convention of memorial dinners, that’s why! Though, of course, one might go to laugh at it.... I am sorry there won’t be any priests at it. I should certainly go if there were.”