하나님은 울고 계시다/神様は泣いておられる/God has always been weeping/神在淚水

[연영림]

하나님은 울고 계시다

하나님의 섭리역사

1977. 5. 1.

미국 벨베디아수련소

여러분들은 헌드레이징을 하다가 발길로 차여보고 뺨도 맞아봐야 합니다. 여러분의 얼굴에 침을 뱉는 사람도 만나봐야 합니다. 그것이 옛날에 왔다 간 모든 선지 선열들이 걸었던 걸음이었기 때문입니다.

여러분에게 한 가지 이야기를 하겠습니다. 세상 사람들이 침을 뱉고 그들이 욕을 하고 모진 매를 때려도 선생님은 아프지 않습니다. 다 용서할 수 있습니다. 그런데 통일교회를 믿다가 나간 사람들이 침을 뱉고 발길로 차는 것은 기가 막힌 일이 아닐 수 없습니다. 이것을 볼 때 십자가 위에서 가룟 유다와 모든 원수들을 다 용서하고 배반하는 제자들을 수습해 가지고 나가던 예수님의 심정을 느낄 수 있었습니니다. 지난날 선생님을 따르던 사람 가운데 한 사람이 내가 서대문 형무소에 수감돼 있을 때 참기 어려운 모함을 했습니다. 지금까지도 그 일이 잊혀지지 않습니다. 그런 일을 한 두번 겪은 것이 아닙니다.

내가 기도를 하게 되면 눈물이 한이 없습니다. 내가 당하듯이 하나님이 당해 오신 것을 잘 알기 때문입니다. 하나님은 내가 당해 온 것을 압니다. 그런 길을 부모도 모르고 형제와 처자들도 모릅니다. 나는 약하다면 지극히 약하고 못났다면 지극히 못났지만, 크게 나를 믿으려고 하고 세상보다도 우주보다도 더 크게 믿으려고 하시는 하나님을 볼 때에 몸 둘 바를 모릅니다. 그러한 경험을 나는 갖고 있는 것입니다.

천주를 창조하신 하나님이, 우주를 마음대로 할 수 있는 하나님이 어쩌다가 아담 해와로 인해서 이렇게 되셨느냐 하는 것입니다. 여러분이 기도를 하든가 영계를 깊이 통한 사람들에게서 레버런 문을 알게 되면 여러분은 선생님을 생각하며 많이 울 수 있을 것입니다. 영계를 통하는 사람들이 기도를 해서 하나님이 가르쳐 주게 되면 통곡이 벌어집니다. 또 선생님을 위해서 기도하면 통곡밖에 없다는 것입니다.

여러분은 원리를 통해서 이 방대한 내용을 어디서부터 손을 대어 풀어 나갈 것인가 생각해 보아야 합니다. 모든 섭리적 내용을 축소해 가지고 이만한 질서와 조직을 만들고 이러한 기준까지 여러분이 이해할 수 있게끔 만들었다는 사실은 간단한 일이 아닙니다.

神様は泣いておられる

御旨と世界607

　しかし外にいる人々に唾をかけられたり、打たれたりしても、そういうことが苦しいことではありません。かつて共に食口として歩んだ人が、神を裏切って去っていく時、それ以上悲痛なることがあるでしょうか。そういう痛みまで体験して初めて、イエス様が外的な敵、すなわち具体的に十字架に釘づけた人々による外的迫害、裏切りだけでなく、ユダによる裏切りのごとく、最も痛い内部からの内的迫害を受けた方であることと、その痛みというものを少しでも理解することができるでしょう。

　先生は共産陣営のみならず、自由主義の韓国においてさえ、刑務所生活を体験しました。西大門刑務所に行ったその日のことは、永遠に忘れることができないでしょう。その日、刑務所に引かれていく時、一人の教会から去ったかつての食口が先生に駆け寄ってきて、侮蔑(ぶべつ)に満ちた嘲笑を浮かべながら言ったのです。「あんたはまだそんな馬鹿なことをやっているのかい、俺のように早く卒業することだな」と……。先生は永遠にその男のことを忘れることはできません。一言も語らず黙然として彼の前を引かれていきましたが、心の中で神に向かって叫びました。「神よ、今こそあなたの義と、私のあなたに対する従順を証させ給え」と。

　このようなことを一度ならず幾度となく味わってきたのですから、目を閉じて祈り始めると、いつも涙を止めることができずに痛哭する先生です。神のそういう悲しい内情がよく分かるからです。そして同じ事情を味わい、その心情を知ればこそ、そういう神の心情を誰よりも慰めることができるのです。親はもちろんのこと、妻も子供も分かってはくれない、一人として理解する者もない、そういう時こそ、孤独なる神の友となることができるのです。

　一人の男がこんなにも弱くなり得るものか、と思ったこともありました。ある意味では同じ弱き一人の人間に変わりないのです。しかし自分をそんなにも頼りにしている神であることを知っていますから、そういう神の心情を思うと、いても立ってもいられなくなり神の願いを果たして神を慰めたいという思いにかられます。

　｢神よ、全能なるあなたは、その望むところの何事も成すことがおできになりますのに、御自分の子なるアダムとエバの罪のゆえに、御自身をそのような苦悩の中に陥(おとしい)れられました。苦しむべきいわれもないあなたが、かくも寄る辺なき身となられて、真に頼ることのできる子女を、そんなにも長い間ひたすら待ち続け、探し求めてこられました。私にはそういうあなたのお心がよく分かります」。

　誰でも、先生の内面の世界をかいま見ることでもできたならば、ただ“わっ”と痛哭せずにおれないでしょう。特に、常に神に祈り、霊界を見たり啓示を受けたりしている霊通者たちは、みなこういうことを言ってきます。「文先生について祈る時は、いつも決まって神様からの答えは“涙”です」と。先生のことを祈ると神様は泣かれるというのです。寂しい一人の人、文先生を見つめる時、人知れずすすり泣いておられる神様なのです。

God has always been weeping

God’s Will and the World

God's Preparation for Our Church, and Its Early Days

May 1, 1977
Tarrytown, New York

You must have a true picture of yourself. Some members look very substantial externally and seem to be doing a great job, but inside they are empty people, who are not worthy in the sight of God. In this period you will be given the opportunity to experience everything, being cursed, or struck, feeling great hunger, and even envying a beggar's situation. It will be a precious period, and then you will be able to say, "I know the heart of God, I know Jesus Christ, and I know Reverend Moon." My hands are not so big but they have gone through much. The Unification Church was built upon my foundation of pioneering this hidden spiritual task. This foundation is not the product of easy living, but of the most incredible suffering and spiritual endurance.

When fund raising, have you ever been kicked, hit, or spit upon by others? When you taste these experiences then you must think, "This is the path that was walked by all the saints and men of God in history' Being spit at or hit is not that painful to bear, but being spit at or hit by someone who was previously a member and who has now betrayed God is very painful. It is heartbreaking and you have to taste even that. You will finally know Jesus when you experience these things. Jesus had not only external enemies — the people who physically nailed him down on the cross — but he had internal enemies who betrayed him.

I have tasted prison life, not only under the communist regime but also in free Korea. I can never forget one former member who came up to me when I was being taken to the West Gate prison in Seoul. He looked at me and laughed scornfully, "You fool! Are you still doing this stupid thing?" I can never forget that man. At that moment I did not say anything to him, but in my heart I prayed, "God, give me a chance to testify to how righteous You are, and how I was obedient to You." This is just one instance of personal betrayal; there are too many to count. When I close my eyes and start to pray, tears always come forth. I have experienced so much agony and pain and heartbreak that I know God, and I am in a position to comfort Him.

No one understands me. My parents never understood, even my wife and children can never really understand. My understanding of God is a lonely understanding. You also can be a companion to that lonely God. I always feel how vulnerable and weak I am, but I know that God trusts and is depending on me to fulfill. When I see God's expectation I just have no way to sit still. I feel, "God, You are Almighty. You can do anything You want, but because of Your own precious children's failure You put Yourself in a position of such suffering. You don't need to suffer, but You have been helpless, waiting so long for some man You could depend on. God, I really sympathize with You. I understand You."

If anyone truly knew me internally then he just could not help but be crushed by sorrow. Spiritually enlightened people who can receive revelations and instructions in their prayers are the people who stay. When they pray about me God's response is always the same; He responds to their prayer in tears because when God thinks about His lonely champion here on earth, God just weeps. The vast entanglement of human history seems utterly impossible to ever reorganize, and even God hardly knew where to begin the dispensation. But one lonely man found the secret and lived through everything to bring the movement this far. Even for God that was something to behold.

神在淚水

統一教第23屆建教紀念日和神的攝理歷史

1977年5月1日

紐約貝爾維迪

在統一教七年，你們會痴迷於完成你們的使命，忘記吃、忘記睡覺，忘記一切。甚至在你們祝福之後，我會給夫妻不同的使命，三年期間他們各自行走自己的使命，來完成另外的重要時間。在那段期間，你們必絕對的順服。

你們必須真正地瞭解自己。有些會員只看重外表，看起來做了偉大的工作，但是他們是內心空虛的，在神的眼中是不配的人。在這段期間，你們會有機會體驗一切，包括被咒詛或被擊打，感到極度的飢餓，甚至會嫉妒乞丐的位置。那是一個珍貴的期間，那時你們就能夠說：「我瞭解了神的心情；我瞭解了耶穌基督，我也瞭解文牧師。」我的手不是很大，但是他們的經驗很豐富。統一教是通我開拓這個隱藏的靈的使命所樹立的基台上。這個基台不是一容易活出來的產品，而是充滿了最難以形容的痛苦和靈的磨練。

你們在募金時，有沒有被別人踢過？打過？甚至吐口水？當你們嚐到這些經驗時，你們當下必須想：「這條道路是歷史上所有的聖人義人和神人所行走的道路。」被打和被吐口水是種不難忍受的痛苦，但是被曾經是會員、現在卻背叛教會的人吐口水或打則是非常痛苦的。那是種令人心碎的經驗，但是你們必須去體會。當你們經驗了這些事後，你們就終於能夠瞭解耶穌了。耶穌不僅有外的敵人－那些實體地把他釘死在十字架上的人，也有背叛他的內的敵人。

我嚐過牢獄生活，不僅是在共黨政權下，也在自由韓國政權下。我從來不曾忘記當我被到首爾的西大門監獄時，有一位前會員跑了過來。他看著我，很嘲諷地笑著對我說：「你這笨蛋！你仍然在做這種蠢事？」我永遠無法忘記那個人。在那一刻，我沒有回嘴，但是我心裡向神祈求：「神啊，請賜給我一個向他證明您是多麼公義的機會，證明我是多麼地順服您？」這只是個人報復的一個例子而已；多的實在數不清。當我閉起眼睛開始禱告時，淚水就掉了下來。我體會過太多的那種憾恨、痛苦和心碎，因為我瞭解神，我是站在安慰祂的位置。

沒有人瞭解我。我的父母永遠不瞭解我，甚至我妻子和子女也永遠不會真正地瞭解我。我對神的瞭解是一個孤獨的瞭解。你們也可以是那位孤的神的朋友。我總是感到自己很容易被擊打、很軟弱，但是我知道神信任我，倚靠我去完成。當我明白神的期待之後，我沒法靜坐下來。我感覺到：「神啊，您是全能的神。您要做什麼就做什麼，但是因為您自己珍貴的子女的失敗，您讓自己站在一個如此痛苦的位置。您不需要痛苦，但是您一直得不到任何幫助，在漫長的時間中等待您可以倚靠的人出現。神啊，我真的很同情您；我瞭解您。」

如果真的有人在內的方面很瞭解我，那麼他就不自覺地感受到一股悲傷。在禱告中受到啟示和指示而得到靈的開示的人是那些會留下來的人。當他們為我禱告時，神的回應總是相同的；祂在淚水中回應他們的禱告，因為當神想到祂在地上界孤獨的勇士時，祂只有落淚。人類歷史中的碩大糾葛看起來是永遠無法得到解開的一日，甚至神都不知道要從那裡展開攝理。但是一位孤獨的人找到了秘密，並且通過一切的努力活出來，把攝理推進到今天的地步。甚至對神也有一些要注視的。

[JUNKO*^^*]

고맙습니다*^^*

[준아 맘]

감사합니다